he could go anywhere again, unless he went to the trouble
of covering from head to toe, which was likely to garner a
tremendous amount of unwanted attention in an airport since
they’d heightened transportation safety. Donte had to plan his
flights carefully and it could sometimes take days to get from
place to place if he needed to layover in one city while the sun
was out, in order to fly to his destination in darkness.
Adin dreamed that Donte stood beside him on the Golden
Gate Bridge, hand in hand, to watch the sun set. The wind blew
Donte’s dark, wavy hair every which way, and he turned his
collar up against the chill. Adin’s gloved hands adjusted a scarf
around Donte’s neck—a rather dashing red scarf in a vibrant silk
paisley—like the one he’d talked about with Bran. It did make
Donte appear more approachable.
Adin pressed his forehead into Donte’s chest and said,
“Where are you?”
When Donte whispered, “I’m right
here
,” Adin felt a warm,
percussive burst of Donte’s breath against his temple. It was so
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189
real he woke up with a startled cry. When Adin once again found
himself alone, his heart hurt. The light outside was gone, and
he’d left none lit in his room. It was dark except for the glow
from the landscape lighting. Somewhere downstairs he could
hear Boaz moving around in the kitchen.
He told himself not to be an idiot. Donte would come
when he could, and all the self-pity and star wishes in the world
wouldn’t bring him one minute sooner. He’d hardened his heart
against getting his hopes up, so when he heard that voice again,
throbbing through his body as if he heard it on iPod earbuds,
“Caro, I’m right here,”
Adin wanted to believe it.
Something indefinable brushed his naked skin though, like
a current of warm air, and finally Adin got up to look out the
window, just in case. There were headlights at the end of the
drive. Doors opened and closed on what appeared to be a taxi
as its occupants moved behind it to transact business. The trunk
opened. Then closed. The cab’s headlights silhouetted a man
wearing an overcoat, and pulling a pilot case, as it drew back
out into the street and sped away, leaving the drive in near-total
darkness. Adin’s heart started to beat so hard against his ribs
that he could hear it echoing through his head. He yanked the
counterpane off the bed, wrapping it around him like a toga, and
took off for the stairs. He took them as fast as he could safely
run, dragging the silken fabric with him.
“Shit,” he cursed as he stepped on it and had to hop to the
front door on one leg, a difficult thing to do when he was well
rested and sober but with a soft cast on his arm and slightly
wobbly from the medication, it was entirely too much.
He burst outside and ran down the steps, barely concerned
that now he was on level ground his makeshift garment flew out
behind him and covered him not at all. By the time he ran fifty
feet, he could see Donte clearly. He looked tired and grim. When
they were about ten feet apart, Adin skidded to a halt on the
pathway in front of him.
“Gods, you’re a welcome sight, caro.” Donte sighed heavily.
“Why are you dressed like the Dalai Lama?”
190 Z.A. Maxfield
Adin moved the rest of the way forward and reached for the
lapel of Donte’s coat. He wanted to welcome Donte home but
was afraid he’d be unable to keep the emotion from his voice,
uncertain whether he would laugh or start sobbing. When at last
he tried to speak, it seemed he didn’t have to choose one or the
other because both tumbled out at once.
Finally he pulled the quilt around him and pressed his face
into Donte’s chest. “Ah
shit
.
Donte
.”
“What’s all this, caro?” Donte held Adin while he shook with
emotion.
For an answer Adin cupped the back of Donte’s head and
brought him down for a kiss, teasing and tasting, breathing his
lover in before Donte parted his lips and his tongue dived inside.
Donte slid his hands from Adin’s shoulders downward to
span his waist just above the small of his back.
“I’ve missed you so much. When they wouldn’t let me back in,
I thought… I couldn’t feel you. I thought…”
“Adin.” Donte frowned deeply. “I would have spared you that
if I could. As it is, there was very nearly one less
Peter
in the world
when I heard how he harmed you.”
“Whatever.” Adin clung to Donte with his good arm. “It
doesn’t matter. You’re here now, and that’s all that counts.”
Donte pressed a kiss to Adin’s forehead. Adin reached out
and caught Donte’s case handle, intending to pull it up to the
house, but Donte stopped him, taking Adin’s good hand in his. “I
will pull my case,” Donte said firmly, “and you will tell me what
you and Boaz and your adolescent entity have been up to while
I was ill.”
Adin leaned his head against Donte’s shoulder. He felt whole
just then, basking in a resurgence of the powerful connection
that bound them. It wrapped around them as they moved up the
driveway together.
As they ascended the stairs to the front door, Adin was alarmed
to feel a weakness in Donte’s limbs, a heavier step, a slight quiver
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191
of muscle, as if he didn’t have his normal strength. He lifted his
gaze and found that Donte was frowning in concentration. Adin
pressed his lips together, leaving his questions unasked. It was
enough for now to bring Donte inside, to their room and their
bed where Adin could hold him and love him—
“I feel your desire, it’s very nice.”
“Nice?” Adin feigned outrage. “Tissues with lotion in them
are
nice
. Girl scouts are
nice
. I plan to rock your world, my lover.”
When they got to the door, Boaz stood to one side and took
Donte’s case from him. His expression was unreadable, but Adin
knew how he felt. Adin’s relief was giddy and palpable. Boaz
didn’t acknowledge it but Adin knew he shared it.
“It’s good to see you, Boaz.” Donte sniffed the air. “Quiche
Lorraine. Except for the pun, which he makes every single time
you serve it, Adin hates quiche.”
“
Quiche me
you fool,” Adin quipped, stupidly happy for the
first time in days.
“Is that a fact?” There was a twinkle in Boaz’s eye that left no
doubt he knew that.
The shit.
“Good to have you here, sir.”
“Good to be here. I think I’ll go up with Adin and get him to
tell me whether he’s lost his clothes or taken holy orders.”
“That sounds like an excellent plan, sir.”
“I have a plan,” Adin offered. Both Donte and Boaz ignored
him.
“Good night, Boaz. I’ll expect to you to visit our room with a
tray of tea things and something to sustain Adin, since he hasn’t
eaten.”
“Very good, sir.” Boaz faded back through the unlit hallway
into the kitchen, Adin and Donte started up the stairs. There was
enough ambient light from the windows that Adin didn’t feel the
need to turn on the lights just yet. Something about the quiet,
nearly empty house and the darkness, fit his mood perfectly.
“Don’t you want to hear my plan?” Adin asked.
192 Z.A. Maxfield
“Not particularly, caro.” Donte shifted Adin’s blanket so he
wouldn’t trip, and in so doing pulled him snug against a fully
aroused vampire. “You’ll find I have a plan of my own.”
Again, Donte moved slower than normal, his step less certain.
Once they reached the landing Adin slipped his arm around
Donte to support him as they took the rest of the stairs. “What
would that be?”
“I plan to allow you to twine yourself around me—as you
always do—whereupon I shall do unspeakable things to you.”
“You must have spies; you’ve sussed out my plan exactly and
made it your own.”
When they got to the top of the stairs, Adin drew Donte into
the bedroom and pushed him back onto the bed. “You need me,
don’t you? I can feel you trembling.”
“I didn’t feed after I left France.” Donte pulled his tie off,
irritated. “The plane was delayed and the airport crowded. It was
too brightly lit for me, and difficult to find a quiet space in which
to rest, so I sat in a dark bar and drank a bad red wine. I didn’t
think—”
Adin sat beside him. “
Donte
. You have to remember what you
need. Surely you could have found a willing partner? How do you
go about that?”
“I just… It doesn’t matter. I never thought I’d be weakened
this quickly. It’s a humbling thing.”
“May I?” Adin indicated the reading light next to the bed. “I
need to look at you.”
“Of course, Caro. What a silly thing to ask.”
Adin turned on the light and peered closely at Donte. His first
glimpse stunned him. “Donte?” Adin fingered a new and very
visible shock of silver in the waves of hair that fell over Donte’s
eye and said, in awe, “
Look at you.
”
Donte pulled his head back from Adin’s grasp. “It’s not so big
a change, is it?”
Adin searched Donte’s face for a clue to why his voice seemed
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193
uncertain. “Of course it’s not. It’s… glorious. You’re beautiful.
You’re like a god. You know that right?” Adin’s eyes stung. “I’ll
never tire of looking at you. I thought I’d never see you again,
and my heart just shattered.”
“I’m so sorry, caro.” Donte drew him into his arms so tenderly
that Adin gave in to his tears. Donte stroked his hair like a child’s.
“This is a case where the cure was worse than the disease, I’m
afraid.”
“What do you mean?”
Donte’s arms tightened. “It required that I be… nearly
reborn. Not an outdoor feast, I’m afraid.”
Adin chuckled. “A picnic?’
“Yes. Not a picnic, as the saying goes.”
Adin drew back. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“It required that I be given the blood of a vampire, caro. A
transfusion of blood that made me nearly as feral as I was when
I was newly made. For a while I lost myself entirely.”
Adin shivered again at how close he’d come to losing his
lover. “Oh, Donte…”
“I still don’t feel quite… I stayed away because…” Donte
shook his head.
Adin swallowed hard. “Why?”
Donte seemed to measure his words carefully. “Although
I tried to hide how sick I was from you, it became clear when
Madame arrived that I wouldn’t have lasted much longer. It was
the only way. But it might have killed me. I might have been
unable to recover whatever thin veneer of civilization keeps me
from harming people.”
“How could you hide something like that from me?” Adin
thumped his chest. “I’m your lover. I’m your
partner
. I had a right
to know.”
“Of course you did.” Donte pulled him in close again. “By
the time I realized the problem, it was much too late to deal with
194 Z.A. Maxfield
it rationally.”
“But how could you not tell me you were ill in the first place?
You must have felt—”
“I only wanted to protect you and Bran. We made a promise
to protect the boy and I wanted to honor that. To be honest, I
thought I could find a way to neutralize whatever threat he posed
to me long before—”
“You
knew
.” Adin sagged against Donte. “Bran said he
thought you realized that he was the cause of your illness, and
you didn’t tell me because—”
“I was trying to solve a problem, caro. To create a positive
outcome for both of us. I never dreamed it could put me in such
danger. I’m afraid I’d begun to believe my own hype. It appears
I’m not entirely invincible after all.”
“You should have told me, Donte. You should have explained
the situation and let me make a decision. There is nothing I
wouldn’t do to keep you safe. Nothing I wouldn’t give up to
ensure that.”
Donte was silent as he contemplated that. “You’ve never had
to make a life or death decision, have you?”
Adin shook his head. “Not really, no.”
“Turning Santos… that was a situation in which I had no time
to think. He can hate me for it but I carried Auselmo in my heart
and I couldn’t bear for that living reminder of him…” Donte
closed his eyes. “Sometimes with the very best of intentions we
commit the worst offenses.”
“Donte.” Adin gripped the lapels of his suit tighter.
“I thought I could spare you that. I thought I had time.”
“Some choices need to be shared.”
“I see that now. Forgive me, caro.” Donte pressed his face
into Adin’s neck and nuzzled the skin there. He nipped at it,
tonguing the delicate skin.
Adin arched a brow. “You still see me as an impetuous child.”
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195
“I don’t right now. You smell delicious.” Donte groaned, going
from sad to seductive with one desperate sentence. His eyes no