Viridis - A Steampunk Romance (35 page)

She heard Seth come in, and glanced over her
shoulder at him, trying to look at him as if doing so for the first
time, hoping her love for him would conquer her fears. He was more
handsome than when she had first met him, some of his young boyish
charms giving way to the strength of manhood; his jaw line more
defined, a leaner look to his face, the skin a bit more weathered.
However, his eyes were the same; kind and intelligent, his love for
her a flame that lit them from within.

Though she was not fully corseted, and could
probably loosen the laces of her dress enough to manage wiggling
out of her gown on her own, she instead mustered her courage.
“Love, I don’t suppose you could give me a hand getting out of my
gown?”

“Of course.” He came over and stood behind her,
tugging at the laces that criss-crossed up her back. Her heart beat
faster with each lace undone, until the gown came loose, held up
only by her arm pressed over her chest. Taking a deep breath, she
turned around to face him, and then let her gown fall to the floor,
so she stood there naked before him.

“Phoebe…” His eyes quickly ran the length of her
body before looking away and refusing to look back. “Please. You
need not do this, love.”

Her skin felt alive as the Viridis teased each nerve
awake in the cool air of the room. She took a step towards him and
out of her dress, so their bodies brushed against each other. “That
is where you are wrong. I do need to do this, Seth, for I will not
allow him to retain his hold on me.”

“Phoebe…” Though she could hear the despair in his
voice, his hand did reach out to her, the tips of his fingers
running down her arm, her skin rippling with goose flesh in
response.

She forced herself to look him in the eyes, to hold
his gaze, to keep herself in the moment. It would be too easy for
his touch to turn into a nightmare if she did not anchor herself to
him. She reached up and started to undo the buttons of his shirt,
but he halted her progress by gripping her hands.

“Phoebe, please don’t. I cannot do this.” He looked
down at her pained, sending her stomach plummeting.

“Oh.” She looked away, suddenly feeling desperately
exposed, tears welling up and running over. “I’m sorry. I had not
realized.” She had not thought that what happened with Victor would
change what she had with Seth. But of course it would. How could it
not? She was just too stupid to have not thought of it.

He pulled the blanket off the foot of the bed and
wrapped her in it, pulling her into his arms despite her struggles
to get free. “Och, love. I am so sorry. About everything, aye?” He
sat her down on the edge of the bed, sitting by her side, and
taking her hands in his. “Ye should not have done it, Phoebe.”

Phoebe pulled a hand free to swipe at her tears, her
cheeks flushing with a spark of anger, her tone firm. “I did what I
needed to do to keep you safe.
”

With hurt in his voice, Seth said, “Letting me hang
would have been more merciful than having either one of us go
through this.” He got up to pace before continuing, his hurt now
anger. “I want to murder the bastard for what he’s done to you. Try
as I might, I cannot get the images of him touching you out of my
head. And how can I when the evidence of what you endured is still
there upon your person?”

She pulled the blanket tight around her, not
realizing he’d been able to see the bruises and marks Victor had
left, even in the dim light of the fire.

“Then you stand before me, offering me yourself
after such sacrifice, and I cannot touch you without thoughts of
the bastard coming to mind. I cannot stop it, Phoebe, and I’m right
sorry for it, for I’m not worthy of you or your love.” Sounding
defeated, he said, “Perhaps, with time…”

Seth gently took her hands in his. Tears were
streaming down her face, but she could not bring herself to look at
him.

“I do love you so, Phoebe.” She heard his voice
catch, and knew if she were to look into his eyes, she would see
tears there as well.

She let her hands slip out of his, then took the
ring off her finger and handed it to him. Her voice was barely a
whisper. “Get out, Seth.”

Chapter Seventy Three

Gavin had just poured himself a drink when there was
a knock at the bedroom door. He was shocked to see Seth standing
there in a right ole’ state, and could not recall having ever seen
his friend looking so distraught. “What’s happened? Is it
Phoebe?”

“She’s called off the engagement and has asked me to
leave.” Gavin pulled his friend into the room and sat him down in
front of the fire. He poured Seth a large whisky and handed it to
him, before picking up his own glass and taking the seat across
from him.

“What happened,
mo charaid
?”

Seth shook his head, unable to get the words out,
drowning himself in his drink. Finally he managed to say, “I could
not do it. She wanted me to, but I could not. I keep seeing that
bastard take her, keep seeing the marks he left on her body.”

Gavin had a sinking feeling. “What exactly are ye
saying happened?”

Seth finally looked up at him. “She wanted me to
take her so she could stop herself from thinking of Victor, but I
could not do it. I could barely bring myself to touch her. She gave
me back my mother’s ring and told me to get out.”

Gavin felt a surge of anger run through him. “Are ye
trying to tell me that after all she did for ye, ye canna touch
her? Ye’ve rejected her because of the sacrifice she made?” He
thought of the look on Phoebe’s face when he carried her from
Victor’s, and could not control his anger any longer. Without
waiting for Seth’s answer, he reached over, hauled Seth to his
feet, and sent a fist flying at his face.

By the gods that felt good.

Then Seth’s fist connected with his nose with such
force that he staggered backwards, seeing stars. They circled each
other like two animals, happy to tear into each other. They were
equally matched, Gavin having the advantage of size, Seth that of
speed. Seth dodged a fist to the ribs, landing a grazing punch.
Gavin lunged at him, knocking him back enough to send the two of
them crashing onto the end table.

Seth landed several blows to his gut, as he
struggled to roll out of the way, the furniture blocking Gavin’s
path. Sheer strength enabled him to knock Seth back, and he hit him
with an upper cut. Before Seth had a chance to recover, Gavin
lunged at him and they once again tumbled to the ground grunting,
cursing, and pummeling each other.

At first Gavin couldn’t hear the feminine screams
over his own yelling, but when he glanced away from Seth, he saw
Phoebe standing there in nothing more than a dressing gown, looking
irate.

Seth followed Gavin’s gaze, a curse upon his lips.
He scrambled to his feet, then turned and gave Gavin a hand getting
up off the floor, a scowl on his face. “Feel better?”

Gavin ran his fingers down his nose to see if it was
broken. “Aye. You?”

Seth nodded, shifting his jaw back and forth. “Aye.
I’ll do.”

And then Gavin turned to Phoebe with a look of
apology, hoping she could find it in her heart to forgive him.

Chapter Seventy Four

After sending off the staff who had gathered at the
commotion, Phoebe dragged the two miscreants to her room. She
retrieved a tray with clean bandages, ointment, a basin, and a
bottle of distilled alcohol.

She first checked each for any broken ribs, ignoring
their protests, muttering profanities under her breath all the
while. She then sat them down and moved to the more obvious,
starting with Gavin. “Hand.”

Sitting across from her, Gavin protested. “Och now,
love. Dinna fash yerself. ‘Tis only a few bruises and skinned
knuckles.”

“Hmph.” Still fuming, Phoebe grabbed his hand and
checked for any broken bones. Finding none, she held his hand over
the basin and not without a little satisfaction, poured the alcohol
over his skinned and cut knuckles. He cursed, and she smiled
sweetly. “Serves you right.” She patted his hand dry, dabbed it
with ointment, and wrapped it in a bandage. She then took her tray
and moved on to Seth.

She looked him straight in the eyes, daring him to
say anything, as she took hold of his hand and got to work. Feeling
for broken bones, she felt up and down the length of his hand and
fingers, pausing over the small finger of his left hand. “I’ll
likely need to splint this one.” Still holding onto his hand, she
pulled it over the basin and cleaned it with the alcohol. Though
Seth muttered a curse under his breath, he did not flinch or pull
his hand away.

When she stood to go in search of a splint, he held
onto her hand. “Gavin, would you mind giving us some time
alone?”

Gavin looked to her in question, and she nodded that
it would be fine. With a look of warning at Seth, he got up and
left.

“Phoebe…” The sorrow in his voice made her own
aching heart bleed, but she would not give into her emotions,
knowing things would be far worse when he left and she was
alone.

Her gaze locked on his, refusing to look away, as
she sat back down, the chair still positioned so they were only
inches away.

“What is it you want, Seth?”

He took her hand in his and ran his thumb over the
back of her hand, the motion soothing her frayed nerves, even as he
started to speak. “I’m sorry, Phoebe. I’m sorry if I hurt you. It
was not my intention.”

Tears threatened, but she blinked them back. “It
does not change the facts. There’s nothing to be done if you cannot
stand to touch me. At the very least you were honest about how you
feel.”

“Phoebe, please give me another a chance. I’m
devastated by what happened and quite frankly it feels as if my
heart’s been torn from chest. But you’re the only thing that
matters to me. Could ye not find it in your heart to forgive me, my
love?” He reached out and touched her cheek, sending her tears
flowing.

She pulled away and swiped at her tears, furious
with herself for crying and furious with him for putting through
this. She got up and paced the floor, unable to sit still. “I did
what I had to do, Seth— to see you home safe. Though I can
understand the issues you are facing, they are nothing compared to
the hell I went through or what I’m now dealing with.” She stopped
pacing to pin him with a stare. “You have only your imagination to
supply you with the images—and I can tell you now, they are
nothing
compared to the reality of the matter.”

Seth got up and came to her side, but stopped short
of touching her, lines of pain and anguish etched in his beautiful
face. “I’m truly sorry, Phoebe. Not only that you had to endure
such a thing, but that I reacted selfishly. Please Phoebe…”

He took a step closer so he stood now only a breath
away, his eyes searching for some sort of confirmation, some sign
that he was forgiven. Having him so close only served to weaken her
defenses, so that when he cupped her face she did not pull away
from his touch. Leaning forward, he tenderly kissed her tears away,
moving from one cheek to the other, before lowering his lips to
hers. Her resolve and anger melted with each kiss, until she found
herself kissing him back, the dark hold on her heart loosening just
a little.

Pushing all other thoughts from her mind, Phoebe
kept herself focused on the one thing that mattered— Seth. There
was no room for anyone else.

His kiss deepened and she leaned into him. She was
still wearing nothing more than her silk dressing gown, the flimsy
fabric doing nothing to shield her from his touch. She felt his
need for her, and knew he was trying his best to set aside any
apprehensions he may have had.

But when his kisses slowed, and he pulled away, her
fear that he would reject her yet again, left her heart
sputtering.

He twined his fingers with hers. “I love you,
a
ghaoil
. Will ye have me back?”

She looked down at their linked hands, but did not
speak for the longest time. She wanted nothing more than to take
him back, but she would not do it if it meant eventual
heartache.

Finally, she said, “I do love you, Seth. More than
life itself. But there is nothing to discuss if you cannot come to
terms with what happened.”

“I can only try my hardest, and time will only help.
We’ll get through this together, my love. ” He cupped her face and
looked into her eyes. “I was mistaken to think that touching you
would be any different than it has always been, for when I am with
you, there is no one but the two of us.” He wrapped his arms around
her as she returned his embrace, knowing they stood a chance.

Phoebe tried to calm her racing heart as Seth’s hand
brushed her dressing gown off her shoulder, so it hung
precariously, ready to slip to the floor. With an arm around her
waist he held her to him, his head lowering to kiss the now exposed
skin. Taking his time, he trailed his kisses up the slope of her
neck, while he paused here and there to pay special attention to a
particular spot or curve on his way to her lips. Her skin tingled
from the Viridis she had consumed. Every nerve was dancing with
energy, so that each touch, each breath left her desperately
wanting more.

When his kiss deepened, her body tensed despite her
attempts to keep herself from panicking. He felt it too, and eased
back on his intensity so his lips all but brushed against her
own.

Muttering between kisses, his voice was but a
whisper. “’Tis all right, my love. You’re safe now. I swear upon my
life, no one will harm ye again.” His kiss deepened once again, and
she knew they must do this, for putting off the matter would only
allow the problem to fester.

He rid himself of his clothing and then undid the
tie of her dressing gown, letting it slip to the floor so she stood
completely naked before him. The chill in the air had teased her
nipples erect. Closing the distance between them, he slipped one
arm around her waist to hold her close, as the other came up to cup
her face, his fingers in her hair.