Vital Sign (17 page)

“Is this entirely necessary? Me leaving the motel? I can just go home.”

“That’s the worst thing you could do. He’ll follow you there then others will join him, looking for something new to print in the society pages,” Zander admits, looking stricken with guilt. “It’s my fault. I used to feed them tons of shit to write about and I’ve been flying under the radar for a couple of years. They want something to say about the Governor’s troublesome black sheep.”

“Well, maybe it’s
'cause you’re a handsome black sheep,” I offer, fishing for a smile. A small grin surfaces on Zander’s face and I feel the distinct tug of desire and victory deep in my core.

“Maybe.”

We both take a step towards each other. The air in the room thickens and seems to pulse, taking on a life of its own.

“I shouldn’t stay here. I—we shouldn’t…”
I trail off, too much of a coward to actually say what I’m thinking.

“I promise to be the perfect gentlemen, Sadie.”

“It’s not
you
that I’m worried about, Zander.” I say the words knowing that I’m still considering his offer, even though it’s more like a demand. He has insisted that I stay with him and thinking of the possibility that maybe he feels as protective of me as I feel of him has a little trill of giddiness and a bolt of bravery streaking right through my heart. It’s a spark, an ember that promises to grow to a flame that could somehow burn hot enough and bright enough to incinerate whatever darkness lingers inside of me.

I study his face
, hoping that I’m not fooling myself. I search for the glint of
something
that will tell me I can confess the darkest parts of my soul to him and somehow he’ll bring light to them just by his willingness to face what I believe to be my ugliest parts. My negativity. My sharp tongue. The melancholy that I’d never outwardly admit to holding on to. The self-criticism that goes well beyond the realm of what’s considered a healthy dose. My doubt. The fear that spirals a little more every day, pulling me further into my own hell, that hell born of the worry that I could let go of Jake if Zander where my truth. My promise. Alexander McBride is both my fallen angel delivering me to hell’s gate and the blinding light that serves as my guide, my deliverance to the hereafter.

“Can I tell you something?” I whisper
, taking a tentative step to him.

Zander nods his response
, standing in place to allow me to come to him. His blue eyes watch me closely with that look of adoration that seems to work wonders on me.

“You scare me,” I say
, taking the last step, completely closing the distance between us. “You scare me so much.” I lift my hand and press my palm to his chest, the subtle thump of his heart the only thing I can hear.

“You scare me too,” he confesses.

My lips part, my heart speeds, and what little resistance I’ve kept alive by guilting myself to death crumbles beneath Zander’s powerful presence.

He
brings his arms around me and I work hard to bolster whatever courage I may have somewhere inside me. One of his hands goes to my lower back and begins drifting up and down while the other goes to the nape of my neck in search of that lock of hair he twirled before. He’s doing this for me. I know he’s doing it because he thinks that it’s what I want but he couldn’t be more wrong if he tried. I don’t want him to try filling Jake’s shoes. I want Zander to claim his own place and fill his own shoes.

“Zander…”
I breathe into the hollow at his collar bone and he immediately moves back from me to read my face. “Not like that.”

His eyes immediately morph into something all his own.
His gaze turns fierce and determined, driven and wanton. He doesn’t say anything, just regards me carefully, skillfully interpreting my expression, the look in my eyes.

“Touch me like Alexander McBride wants to touch me
,” I encourage him. “I want you. Just you.”

Fire burns in his eyes and he brings me crashing hard against his chest.
“Fuck, Sadie,” he groans. His lips press to my hairline. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold on tight. One hand tangles in my hair while his other hand cups me dangerously close to my ass.

His hands glide over my backside and come to a stop just beneath my ass. He tightens his grip and lifts me to him. I wrap my legs around his middle obediently
, my body seemingly resonating the passionate demands of his own. My flip flops fall to the floor. He holds me, cradling me to him like something fragile and important, something of antiquity. I guess in many ways I am those things.   

Zander plants one knee into the mattress and carefully lays me out on his bed.
My legs stay wrapped around him at the waist, the thin fabric of my panties the only thing keeping my arousal covered. My dress is bunched, barely hiding me from him. His face hovers just above mine, wayward locks of cinnamon falling around his eyes, framing the glittering pools of sapphire.

“You scare me too.”

His lips come crashing down on mine and I immediately lace my fingers through his hair, taking hungrily from him and giving as good as I’m getting. My lips part, giving him access, and he does the same. Our tongues blend together in a back and forth slip against one another. We taste and explore one another unrushed.  Zander’s arm slides beneath me and hauls me up the bed without breaking our kiss. The palm of one of my hands brushes against the light stubble on his cheek. My legs tighten around his waist, drawing him closer, and Zander lets out a groan from deep in his throat. His hips thrust forward, meeting mine. A growing ache at my center has me undulating my hips against the bulge in Zander’s jeans. Zander breaks our kiss and goes to work at my neck. He kisses and nips his way down then back up my neck on both sides, feeding my need to release. My heart hammers away in my chest. My cheeks are burning red and the pulsing at my center is near unbearable. God, I want him.

“Please,” I whisper pleadingly.

He draws back looking me in the eyes. “Sadie—Sadie, are you sure?”

“Yes. Please. Please,” I beg
, not lacking urgency in my voice.

Zander s
its up on his knees and reaches back, ready to tug his shirt over his shoulders.

“No!” I say far too loudly for this intimate moment of panting, heavy breathing and intermittent moans from both of us. “I
-I—”

“Okay
. It’s okay.” He nods, leaving his shirt in place, understanding that I can’t face the scar I know he bears. He stands up from the bed and unbuttons his jeans, kicking them off easily once the button and zipper are both undone. His pulsing cock strains against his boxer briefs and the sight of him sends the fluttering in my stomach into overdrive.

I writhe in place on his mattress
, drinking in the sight of him. I grab the hem of my dress and pull it over my head in one easy movement. His eyes rake over my body and I watch as he bites his bottom lip in appreciation. It makes me feel bolder. Stronger. More confident in my womanhood. Zander gets back on the bed and lifts one of my feet. His lips are soft and warm against the instep of my right foot. I shudder in delight at the feel of him. He deposits another soft kiss at my ankle. Another at my shin. His fingers carefully, gently hook behind my knee, drawing my leg up to him. He drops another sweet kiss at the inside of my knee. It’s enough to make me want to cry. I’m so desperate to have him fill me. His eyes meet mine for just a moment, seeking permission, and I give a small smile as my go-ahead. The sole of my foot is planted on the bed. Zander is on both knees between my legs, his palm is warm against the inside of my knee. He runs it down agonizingly slowly all the way to the top of my thigh.

“Dam
mit, Sadie. You’re incredible. So perfect.” He rains down his compliments and I drink them up as he goes. His hand reaches around to my back to unclasp my bra. The lacey material falls away and I am on display for him. He brings his hands to my breasts, kneading each one. His eyes catch sight of my scar and I feel nervous all of a sudden. My shoulders tense a little and he picks up on it immediately. Zander gently leans me back, his mouth going to one nipple. He sucks and licks and kisses at it, then shows equal amounts of attention to the other breast. His hot, wet kisses trail down my sternum until he edges over to reach my scar. Zander’s lips cover the disfigured flesh. He drops three soft kisses there, then rubs the pad of his thumb over the area. “Don’t hide from me,” he whispers. “You’re perfect.”

Tears threaten to pool in my eyes but Zander’s touch quickly shuts down any emotion.
The backs of his fingers drift over my scorching hot arousal and a needy whimper blurts out.

“I’m
gettin’ there, baby,” he answers my plea. His fingers slip beneath the cloth of my soaked panties.

A
sharp intake of breath is all I hear. My eyes squeeze shut. My hips rock forward, begging for more contact. More friction. More Zander. The pad of one finger traces the slick line of my seam, smoothing my arousal from front to back. A demanding moan escapes when his finger goes to my clit and he spends a moment there, showing more attention to the most sensitive part of me.

“Please,” I blurt out. I watch as he moves fast, kicking off his boxer briefs, liberating his erection. It bobs heavily between my knees and I look up at Zander almost in disbelief. He’s perfect. His skin is light pink. Veins and ridges traverse the thick length of him.
His skin is stretched tight, creating a glossy shine. Root to bell-shaped swollen tip, he’s flawless.

The palms of both of his big hands slide up the outside of my legs to my hips. He grips my panties and tugs them. I lift my ass enough for him to pull them down. He tosses them aside, never letting his eyes leave mine.

Concern etches across his face and I realize why.

He doesn’t have condoms
.   

If he did
, he would’ve gotten one out by now. His jaw tenses. I can tell he’s scrambling to remedy our situation. Thank goodness I’ve got the remedy.

“It’s okay
.” I nod my head vehemently against the pillow.

Zander’s eyes snap back to me,
disbelieving. “Sadie, I’ve never—not with anyone.”

“I’ve got it covered. It’s okay,” I say again. And it is. I believe him. I trust him and I trust the IUD that I’ve had for almost
three years. The way he’s so careful with me tells me all I need to know. Zander would never hurt me. I’m sure of it just like I was sure that Jake would never let anything happen to me.

He licks his lips and lowers himself to me. He leans down
, hovering just above me, his shirt still on, bare everywhere else. One hand presses into the mattress just beside my head, bracing himself above me. His other hand curls around the nape of my neck and Zander plunders my mouth. His tongue dips in and out. His luscious lips suck and nip at mine. It’s all I can do to keep up. I buck my hips forward, needing him to fill me. He abruptly breaks away. His hand leaves my neck and I watch as his fingers curl around himself. He makes one lazy stroke down then back up his length and for the first time in my entire adult life, my mouth waters to taste him. I lick my swollen lips hungrily.

“I need you. All of you.”

“Okay.”

“All of you
, Sadie.”

I nod my head and wait. He positions himself at my clit and drags the tip of himself slowly down my wet center. I suck in a breath and hold it absentmindedly. He drags the tip all the way down then back to the top. I look down at the junction between our two bodies to see the tip of him glistening with my arousal.
It slips down a little more and then, slowly, Zander pushes inside. He breaches the entrance of my body with his cock and we both groan in unison.

“Fuck,” he grates out in pleasure, falling
all the way forward, effectively caging me with his entire body. He sinks further and further into me until every divine inch of him is sheathed with my quavering flesh.

I hook my arms under his. My
fingers dig into his back through his shirt, silently asking for more. Zander doesn’t hesitate to oblige. He withdraws himself to the tip then drives back into me. I moan into his ear. My legs tighten around his waist. He withdraws again and thrusts back into me, harder this time. A delicious little streak of pain shoots through my womb. I revel in him. All of him.

It takes no time for Zander to begin the slow build to release. A tingly tightening sprouts up deep in my core. My breathing has become ragged and desperate.

“Oh, please, keep going,”

Zander growls in approval and drives forward
, edging both of us closer to release. His thrusts become a little harder, faster. The walls of my channel tighten down on his length as his cock pistons in and back out of me. I suck in a breath through gritted teeth. My eyes squeeze shut. Zander’s breath comes out in uneven little huffs of air. His cock thickens even more. My back arches. My nipples press against his chest, gliding back and forth with our movement. I toss my head back and my body seizes violently, blissfully, around him. I see bright little spots behind my closed eyes as my muscles grab and twitch around his length. Zander lets out a harsh moan and spills himself into me with jolting shudders. He sags against me and I pull him close, planting a tender kiss against his collarbone and tracing little circles on his back with my fingertips.