Authors: J. Lynn
Reaching up, I traced my finger over the flames surrounding the sun on the left side of his chest. “I love this tattoo,” I admitted. “Why did you get it?”
A half-grin appeared. “You really want to know?”
“Yes.”
“It’s pretty lame.”
I followed the sun around his pec. “I’ll be the judge of that.”
“I got it after the fight.” Cam shifted so his knees were against my outer thighs and slid his hands under my shirt. I lifted up, helping him take it off. I have no clue where it ended up. He sort of just tossed it behind him. “I was kind of messed up for a while. Couldn’t go back to school, was stuck in my home, and I’d done that to myself. I was worried that there had been something wrong with me to lose it like I did.”
My hands fell to my sides as he placed one of his on my bare stomach. The tips of his fingers reached the underwire of my bra and the front closure.
“I was depressed,” he admitted. His hair tumbled forward, falling over his forehead as he placed his other hand beside my head. “I was pissed off at myself and the world and all that bullshit.” Pausing, he ran his hand down my belly and then back up, causing me to wiggle. That slight smile was back. “I think I drank just about every liquor my dad had in his bar over the course of a couple of weeks. I knew my parents were worried, but…”
Cam trailed off as he lowered his head, kissing the space between my breasts. I sucked in a sharp breath and he did it again. “Jase came to visit me often. So did Ollie. I probably would’ve lost my fucking mind without them. May I?” He looked up, eyes filled with intent, his fingers on the clasp of my bra.”
My heart jumped. This was a first for us. Mouth dry, I nodded.
“Thank you,” he said, and I thought that was a strange thing to be thankful for. His gaze lowered again, and my breath caught. He unhooked the delicate clasp, but didn’t part the cups. “It was something Jase had said to me while I was drunk off my ass. Don’t know why, but it stuck with me.”
I drew in a ragged breath as he trailed a finger down the center of my chest. “What did… what did he say?”
Cam glanced up through thick lashes. “He said something like things can’t be that bad if the sun is out and shining. Like I said, that stuck with me. Maybe because it’s the truth. As long as the sun’s shining, shit can’t be that bad. So that’s why I got a tattoo of the sun. Sort of a reminder.”
“That’s not lame,” I said.
“Hmm…” He plucked up the edge of my bra and gently pushed it to the side and then repeated the same motion on the other cup. Cool air teased the tips of my already hard breasts. I was completely bare for him from the waist up. “God, you’re beautiful, Avery.”
I think I said thank you, but I wasn’t sure if the words were coherent or not. He ran his hands over my breasts and my back arched off the bed at the contact of his flesh against mine. He said something too low for me to understand as he smoothed his thumb over my nipple. Beside my head, his arm flexed.
Cam looked up, meeting my gaze as he lowered his hand to the button on my jeans. There was a question in his eyes, and I nodded, wanting to know what he was going to do more than I was afraid.
He tugged my jeans off, then my socks. He commented on the skull and bones design, but the pounding in my body made it hard to pay attention. He then slid the bra off completely and when he had me just in my panties, his slow perusal of my body was like stepping out in the flaming August sun of Texas.
Our lips touched as he eased his weight onto his side. The kisses were slow and deep as his hand traveled over my chest. His touch was teasing and practiced as his kisses trailed over my chin, down my throat. I tensed in that second before his hot mouth closed on the tip of my breast. He’d done this before through my bra, but nothing could compare to the feeling of there being nothing between us. My blood turned to molten lava and my hips moved restlessly in tiny circles. As he sucked deep, his other hand traveled down, skimming my skin and then sliding under my panties.
My toes curled as his finger brushed the nub. New, stronger sensations pulsed throughout me. My head fell back as he slowly worked his head down, his fingers following the length of me.
He raised his head, his eyes boring into mine as he slipped the tip of his finger inside me. I gasped out, my fingers digging into his arms.
“Is this okay?” he asked, voice deep and smooth like aged whiskey.
Drawing in a breath, I nodded again. “Yes.”
A small, intimate smile tugged at his lips as pushed a little harder. My body was aflame as he started a pace, his eyes locked with mine. My entire body was shaking. The knot that formed whenever he touched me was much deeper and intense.
“You’re so tight,” he murmured, and then his kiss consumed me.
My hips were moving faster and he twisted his palm, pressing down on the sensitive numb. The feel of his bare chest rubbing against mine, his hand in my panties, his finger inside me—all of it was too much. I clenched around his hand, my thighs squeezing, and broke the kiss, crying out his name as release thundered through my body.
Cam made a deep sound as he nipped at my throat. “I love how you say my name.”
I could barely breathe, let alone speak as he continued to move inside me, working out every last spasm. When the tremors finally subsided, he eased his hand away and I was flush all over and heady. I wanted to give him more than what I’d been doing. Nervous and excited, I pressed my hands to his chest lightly and he rolled onto his back. Taking a deep breath, I straddled him and before I lost my nerve, I slid down him and unbuttoned his jeans, tugging them down his legs.
Cam caught on the moment I wrapped my fingers around him and my warm breath blew across his tip. His hands immediate fisted in my comforter.
“Oh shit,” he growled.
I smiled at the tortured sound of his voice and then I closed my mouth over him. His entire body jerked and his back bowed. I really didn’t have a clue when it came to doing this, but I figured it didn’t take much.
And it didn’t.
Cam enclosed one hand around mine as I took him and his other hand rested on the back of my neck with the slightest pressure, guiding my less than skilled movements. I wasn’t embarrassed or worried about doing it wrong. If his body and deep groans were any indication, I was doing enough right for him to be enjoying this.
He pulled me away before his release shuddered through him, sitting up half way and capturing my mouth as he came. I loved the way his body shook, but most of all, I loved that I felt safe and secure enough to do this. Tired I broke away, easing onto my back as he did the same, his chest rising and falling sharply. “This was the best fucking Valentine’s Day ever.”
A deep, throaty laugh escaped me. “I have to agree.”
His hand found mine between our bodies and squeezed. “You hungry?”
“No.” I smothered a yawn. “Are you?”
“Not yet,” he replied.
I had no idea what time it was, but I felt boneless and it would take an act of God to get me out of this bed. Or chocolate. One thing I did know was that I didn’t want him to leave. I worked up the nerve to ask for what I wanted. “Stay with me? The night?”
Cam’s hand trailed over my bare shoulder. “You don’t have to ask twice.” He kissed the edge of the shoulder. “Be right back.”
I rolled onto my side as he left, pulling the covers up over me. I heard water running in the bathroom and then he was back, sliding in behind me. With his arms around my waist and the length of his body pressed against mine, I smiled sleepily and thought about the sun.
Everything was perfect.
Chapter 29
The sun was shining all of February and through March. I spent half of spring break hanging out with Cam and Ollie at home and then the later part back at his parents’ house and we even got to hang out with Brit while she was home.
I found it strange that Brit didn’t seem to know what happened between Cam and his sister’s ex-boyfriend, but I didn’t bring it up. What Cam had told me had been personal and no matter my curiosity over whether or not she knew, I wasn’t going to violate that trust between us.
Especially when there’d been so many opportunities for me to open up to him. It was something that, no matter how many times I told myself I would do it, I couldn’t get the words past my tongue. The idea of confiding in Cam terrified me. It wouldn’t be easy and I really didn’t even know where to begin.
Instead I went out of my way to make sure my phone was never unsupervised around Cam. I was still receiving the texts and phone calls, at least two times a week, and I shied away from my email. Several times over the last two months, I
almost
responded to the text. Or I
almost
pulled up my email and responded to one of the messages.
Just like with Cam, I rather pretend it wasn’t happening than deal with it. I hated that part of me, loathed it really, because I was still running instead of facing anything.
As winter loosened its hold on the tiny speck of the state and the ground began to thaw, Cam was deciding on if he should pay a visit home over the mid-April weekend or hang out here and be lazy while Jacob spent lunch trying to convince Brit to accompany him to some kind of volunteer garden planting adventure.
Brit swirled her fry in a glob of mayo. Ollie watched her, handsome face twisted in awed-disgust. She was completely oblivious. “I’m not going to spend my last four day weekend of the semester planting daisies.”
“It’s not daises.” Jacob sighed. “It’s a botanical garden of wonder and love.”
Cam was sitting at the table, facing me. He dropped his head on my shoulder, hiding his snicker. I went with the old hand over the mouth method.
“That just sounds stupid.” Brit popped the mayo-covered fry in her mouth, and Ollie groaned. “I’m going to spend the four days being a veg.”
“Would you rather spend your time being a cucumber or making your soul feel happy?”
Cam’s shoulders started to shake.
“I think I will go with being a piece of broccoli,” Brit replied.
Across from us Ollie finally dragged his gaze away from Brit’s place and looked at Jacob. “Are you serious?”
“Yes!” He smacked his hands down. “Why not paint the world in beautiful flowers of all different colors?”
I stared at him. “Are you high?”
Jacob looked affronted… for maybe two seconds. “Maybe a little.”
Laughing, I glanced at Brit. “You should help him build his happy garden.”
She snorted. “You can help him.”
“Oh, no.” Cam lifted his head as he scooted toward me, slipping his hand over my leg, just above my knee.
“She’s all mine this weekend. No garden of love.”
“Unless she’s planting in
your
garden of love?” Jacob queried.
I rolled my eyes. “Cute.”
“Sounding like she was doing some planting last night.” Ollie moved the tiny paper cup of mayo further away from Brit. “At least from the noises coming from your bedroom.”
My mouth dropped open. “Whatever!”
“Did you have your ear plastered to my bedroom door?” Cam hand inched up, and my cheeks were suddenly burning for a whole different reason.
Ollie shrugged. “What else am I supposed to do?”
“Freak,” Cam tossed back.
The three of them launched into a discussion about vegetables, leaving Cam and I on the outside of the bizarro conversation, which was okay with me. I wasn’t a fan of vegetables.
“I have another great idea.” Cam propped his chin on my shoulder, voice low.
I turned my head just the slightest toward him. “Oh dear…”
“You’re going to love it.”
Warmth bubbled up my chest and I wanted to say I love you, but sitting in the Den, while our friends were discussing the pros and cons of asparagus didn’t seem like the best moment to blurt that out. So I settled with a, “What’s your idea?”
“Take the rest of the day off and chill with me.”
That sounded like an excellent idea. “I have class.”
“You have art. That doesn’t really count as a class.”
“How so?”
He lifted his head, pressing his lips to the space beside my ear. “You told me you almost fell asleep on Monday.”
“Almost,” I reiterated.
Cam now kissed the spot under my ear, and I shivered. “Trust me. What I want to do is so much better than art.”
My mind went straight to one thing. Sex. Like real sex with real penetration.
Oh my God, I couldn’t believe I just thought that. Was there a fake penetration I was unaware of? Actually, sort of. We’d done everything except sex. We’ve touched, groped, he’d gone down on me and I on him, but sex? There had been none of the actual act, but the last time, what Ollie was claiming he heard, it had seemed like we were heading there. There had been a certain intent