Waiting For Columbus (28 page)

What if the Inquisition turns on him? What if he’s suddenly found to be a Jew, or his desire to sail the Western Sea is considered heretical? He is not a Jew, and he simply wants to see what’s out there, but what if? Or what if his ideas about the physical world, its size and scope, conflict with the prevailing wind out of Rome? What if he’s tortured into confessing something idiotic?

Columbus has a well-stocked cupboard of fear.

This morning, he opened his door and the news on the street was that thirty Jews had been killed in a small town in Italy—burned to death by a mob. And four women drowned, allegedly witches, after being tortured
into a confession. Sign of the times. Brutal, senseless, filled with fear and ultimately stupid.

“It would be my wish to sail toward whatever is out there with an open mind and heart,” Columbus says.

“Ah yes, your voyage.” Juan fills their glasses and looks hard at Columbus. “Look, I’ve read the reports. May I be truthful?”

“As a baby’s behind.”

How is a baby’s bottom truthful? Juan wonders. Doesn’t matter. “You don’t stand a chance of pulling this off. Unless you know a lot more than you’re saying, you’d have to be an idiot to go to sea and expect to reach the Indies, or China, except in a foundering ship filled with dead men. Not to mention the fact you’ll be adrift in a rowboat—set there by your mutinous, starving crew.”

Columbus looks across the table at Juan and smiles, then nods his head. Here is a worthy challenge. If he can convince this man, he can convince anybody.

“You can’t carry enough water, or food, for this voyage,” Juan adds. “Maybe on a ship five times bigger, but first, you would have to build such a ship, hmm?”

“Faith against doubt. Hope against hopelessness.”

“That’s not a very convincing argument. I mean, if that’s it, it’s no wonder you’ve not lined up any ships.”

“Juan, you could be right. Those at the commission are probably right. Most of my calculations are grossly underestimated when it comes to the size of the Earth. But if this is true, then could you tell me, please, how big the Earth is?”

“Well, I don’t know. The commission did not know. How the fuck would I know? But I’m not proposing to sail halfway around the damned thing.” Juan leans back and lights up a beedi. The heady scent spreads like incense in the dead air.

“The thing is, nobody knows for sure. This voyage to the Indies will
not be executed with the use of intelligence, mathematics, or maps. It will be made by failing to understand what goes through the mind and heart of a man standing alone on a beach looking out to sea.”

“Look, have you actually read any of the reports? While nobody is sure, they are fairly certain it is an immense distance to India and Japan across the Western Sea. The guys that made these reports are not dull. These are the best minds of our time. This is not based in superstition. It has to do with the curve of the Earth. This is science. And please don’t tell me the planet could be shaped like a pear.”

“Here’s what I know, Juan. There’s something out there. I do not know if it is Japan or the Indies. But I do know there is something out there and it is entirely reachable by sea.”

“A new land?”

“That is possible. An island, or a group of islands, between here and Japan. A group of outer islands before Japan. I don’t know.”

“How is it that you know this?”

“I had a conversation with a Norseman.”

“A what?”

“A Norseman, off the coast of Britain. He spoke of writings that mention a land out west that his people have seen. And I overheard a couple of sailors talking about finding a small man in a death boat twenty-one days west of the Canary Islands.” Columbus does not mention that the Norseman said his people had been there. Nor does he bring up the fact the Norseman said there were demons there.

“A Viking? Don’t they do horrible things to their children?”

“Have you ever seen a Viking do something horrible to a child? Jesus, where do these rumors come from?”

“You talked to a Norseman and you overheard a conversation. Well, that changes everything. A couple of rumors about land being there
really
sways me to your side. I’m sold. You’re not an idiot after all.”

“Juan, I want to tell you something that will not sway you in the least.” Columbus takes a drink. “I am no longer trying to convince you.
I simply wish to tell someone what I am feeling. You are not my family but I trust you by your actions.” Columbus clears his throat, pours more gin and tonic into a sweating glass, and takes a huge swig. “Do you believe in fate?”

“No. I believe we make our own lives.”

“Fine. It doesn’t matter. What does matter is I can feel a shift. The weight is shifting toward this journey of mine, and I don’t know if I could stop it if I tried. It’s almost as if I am irrelevant. It’s like this huge rock I’ve been pushing against has started to fall over. And now, it is not so easy to stop. It’s going to fall. And when it finally hits the ground, anything that happens to be in the way of the rock will be squashed.”

“You’re right about it not being much of an argument.”

“Regardless. I want you to watch. Because it’s going to happen. And when it does, I’m going to need someone, a clear thinker, to observe and record with cold eyes—eyes that question. For that reason, for your steady dubious nature, I’d like you on the voyage.”

“You what?”

“I want you to come.”

“You want me to die with you when we run out of water and food and hope? I’m honored, touched.”

“That’s not going to happen.” Columbus speaks slowly. His voice becomes throaty, seems to slip down an octave.

Juan looks at him hard—sees the steady belief Columbus has in his own words written in his narrow, stern face. He concedes this belief. Columbus, at the very least, believes he will succeed.

“Don’t answer right away.”

Juan was not expecting an invitation. “I won’t take your invitation lightly, my friend. Now let me tell you about Selena, who is crazy about you, by the way.”

“Is she really?” Columbus says.

Both men turn at the sound of pots clanging onto a stone floor somewhere inside the main house.

She’s running toward the picture-taker. This girl, who is four years old but looks to be six. People are always mistaking her for a six-year-old. This early burst of height is something she gets from her mother. I have no names, no understanding of relationships—just this half knowing
.

This tall, four-year-old girl is running toward the picture-taker. This picture captures her, one foot off the ground, in mid-stride. There is glee in her smile and in her eyes. She is loved. She knows she is loved. Her arms are outstretched—she is coming for a hug. I have no memory of this girl. This little girl does not register as a part of my life. She has no name. There is no relationship
.

This picture is within mountains. There are mountains heaved up and gray in the background. Mountains tall enough to have snow in the upper reaches. In the foreground is a silky green lake. There are flowers on the ground, along the path where this girl is running, and deciduous trees and shrubs
.

She has sun-bleached blond hair that hangs to her shoulders. In this picture her hair is flying behind and to the left. Her face is focused, eyes directly on the photographer, and she is happy. He can see this girl is happy. Perhaps she likes the color pink. Her shirt is pink and she is wearing pink leggings. A jean skirt with beads around the waist. Her boots are utilitarian, useful, brown leather. A yellow teddy bear is just visible, sitting upright in the tall grass behind her. Behind the yellow bear is a circle of stones enclosing four pinecones, a hawk’s feather, a clump of lichens, and pine bark. This girl has worked quietly all morning, gathering the elements of this circle. It has a name. She builds these organic circles everywhere. They’re called something. I can’t remember what they’re called
.

I can imagine the low rumble of a train across the lake. The train moving large along the lip, at the edge of the water—going somewhere
.

Faith invites Consuela to Córdoba for the weekend, and Consuela
hesitantly says yes. Faith is her only sister. She’s blood. Even though Consuela tends to walk away from interactions with her sister hurt and slightly bruised, Faith means well. Faith is on her team and that’s enough. Their parents are in Switzerland, in Neuchâtel, which is a bit of a commute. Consuela talks to her dad every Saturday morning. She used to take her first coffee and a cigarette and the phone; now, though, it’s just coffee and conversation. Last Saturday, he’d once again proclaimed that his nose was still in fine form—that he and his nose were still in demand across France. He’d even had a call from a winery in the Okanagan region of Canada that was producing award-winning pinots.

Consuela books passage and arrives in Córdoba by nine o’clock. Rob picks her up and seems genuinely pleased to see her. Consuela is always taken aback by his looks. He seems more psychologist-like than Faith, with his round wire-rimmed glasses and neat gray beard. Combine his appearance with soft, welcoming eyes, and Rob is definitely someone with whom Consuela could see herself talking. But he’s a city planner,
not a shrink. Maybe she could still talk with him. Don’t need a degree to have a conversation.

But Rob and Consuela only chitchat as they zigzag through the labyrinth of side streets and alleyways. When Consuela walks through the doorway, Faith hands her a drink.

“We’re having a few people over for a late dinner. Do you want to change?”

“Hi to you, too. Sure, I’d love to get out of these clothes.” Consuela is always impressed by Faith’s composed appearance. It was warm and humid today, but she seems cool and unaffected. Consuela is dripping, feels oppressed by the humidity.

“Rob, can you take Connie’s things to the guest room?”

The house is a sprawling, one-level six-bedroom home with servant’s quarters out back. A central courtyard can be seen, and entered, from every room. A full-time gardener works solely on this inner-garden sanctuary.

In her room, Consuela unfastens her bra. She thinks about corsets. Can you even buy a corset these days? She changes into a fresh dress and picks flat but stylish shoes. She splashes water on her face, washes her armpits, dabs on an adequate amount of perfume, and heads down to the living room. Rob hands her another drink. Two other couples and one man, an architect named Marc, have already arrived and are chatting, with drinks in hand, in the living room.

Consuela downs her drink. It’s a goddamned setup. That’s just perfect. Faith is playing matchmaker. And Consuela, the pathetic, spinster nurse. The unwanted, unloved sister. She immediately wants another drink, begins to peer around the room for a source.

Rob notices her thirsty look, hands her a glass of champagne. Faith scowls at him, then half smiles. The other two couples both have links to psychiatry. The wives stay at home with the kids; the men play with the minds of their patients.

“Oh, Connie could have been a doctor,” Faith says, as part of her introduction. “She had better marks than me. Better study habits, too.”

“Well, it’s never too late to pick up a degree,” Rob says, possibly trying to diffuse any perceived criticism.

“That’s right. You have to want it, though,” Marc adds. It doesn’t come off as advice. It’s a flat statement of fact, like he’s been there, done that.

“Did you know that Marc is the one who designed our house?” Faith picks up the champagne bottle and goes around the circle, fills glasses, skips Consuela’s.

“I didn’t design the outer deck,” Marc says. “Which is perfect, by the way.”

Faith smiles her thanks. “It’s a nice night. Shall we take in the view?” Faith poses the question but they all understand it’s a gentle request. On the way out, Rob hands Consuela another glass of champagne.

“Thanks,” she says.

“I had no idea she was going to do this.”

“It’s all right.”

Marc meets them in the hallway. Rob brushes by toward the deck, which overlooks Córdoba, the Great Mosque in the distance, glowing soft orange.

“I hope you’ll forgive me pushing my way into this dinner party. I wanted to meet you.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I’ve seen pictures. Heard lots about you.”

“One syllable,” Consuela says, shaking her head. “I don’t date men with names that have only one syllable. My first marriage, one syllable. Not good.” She’s feeling the champagne. It seems the hallway is tilted slightly. Now it’s straight, oh, now it’s tilted.

“My name is Marcello,” he says. “I just wanted to meet you. I just
came out of … I’m not sure I want to date anybody. Not sure about dating. This is just a dinner party, yes? If I have three syllables do I qualify for a simple conversation?”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry. Yes. This is just dinner. My sister … I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.”

“It was my idea. You’re beautiful, by the way. Even more so when you’re apologetic.”

Just when you think you have it figured out, just when you’re sure of yourself, that’s when the rug gets pulled. She feels humbled and little. Consuela has to admit, he’s pretty good at this. Her walls are down and he’s standing in the front hallway. But now there are a lot of doors, and most are locked. Yes, yes, he’s a deep-voiced, lovely man. Shoulder-length dark hair and a kind face. He obviously likes her, but Consuela skims across the surface of him and thinks about Columbus. The magician, the spinner of tall tales, the enchanter.