Waiting for Morning (The Brides Of Last Chance Ranch Series) (33 page)

He even saw her in the little boy Jimmy.
“He’s eight. The same age you were at the time of Donny’s accident.”

The same age she was when she gave up the dreams she had for herself. She swiped at the tear that trickled down her cheek.
He’s too young, God. Eight is much too young to die.

If she knew nothing else, she knew that much
.

Donny sat up in bed still as a mouse, listening. Voices floated into his room from other parts of the house. Jose and his sister laughed, Rosita’s soft giggle almost as timid as her walk. Bo, the cook, yelled
about somebody messing up his kitchen. Miss Walker’s firm, almost militant, footsteps pounded across the tile floor followed by the slamming of her office door.

Last night, while Miss Walker and the others slept, he’d wheeled his chair out of his room and into the parlor. For weeks he’d practiced easing himself out of bed and onto the floor like Doc Fairbanks had taught him. From there he’d belly-crawled to his chair and pulled himself up. He then wheeled himself from his room to the house’s main room, spinning himself around until he got dizzy. In his mind he was running and he could almost feel the wind in his hair.

One night he crashed into a table, knocking the parlor lamp on the floor. The broken lamp puzzled Rosita and Jose, but no one suspected him.

He was more careful after that. It wouldn’t do to let Molly know what he was capable of doing. He always dreamed of being independent, but that was before he knew that his sister had feelings for the doctor. Now fear of losing her consumed him.

Any guilt he might feel for standing between Molly and the doctor was quickly dismissed. Molly liked the ranch. Or at least she liked working with the horses and she was gradually learning about cattle. Donny made certain of that. Soon she’d get over her feelings for the doctor. He’d make certain of that too.

Meanwhile, he had to find ways of keeping them apart. Letting her go to church alone with the doctor had been a mistake and he wouldn’t let it happen again. It would only be for a couple more weeks. Once Molly signed Miss Walker’s papers forbidding her to marry, Donny could relax. Never again would he have to worry about a man stealing her away from him. Or putting him in an institution. He counted on it.

At long last the house settled down. Nonetheless, he waited until after nine before beginning the short but torturous journey from the bed to his chair.

Heaving himself into the seat, he waited a moment to catch his breath before pressing down on the wheels and rolling across the room. He opened the door and listened, surprised to hear low voices. He recognized Molly’s voice at once, but who was the other? Dr. Fairbanks!

Donny froze. What was the doctor doing here so late? And why hadn’t he heard Bertha? Sometimes the doctor parked a distance away so as not to disturb the animals or upset Miss Walker. Is that what he’d done tonight?

“Molly, you’ve got to tell Donny. He has the right to know.”

Donny stiffened, waiting for Molly’s reply, but either none came or Molly’s voice was too soft for him to hear.

Donny strained his ears, but it was no use. Molly and the doctor had stepped outside. Hands shaking, Donny closed the door to his room.

Molly was getting married. That’s what she didn’t want to tell him. She and the doctor were getting married! Even now they were probably talking about putting him away in one of those horrid institutions.

Cold sweat broke out on his forehead. He could hardly breathe. His worst nightmare was about to come true.

Chapter 30

M
olly threw up her hands. “Donny, you’ve got to help me. I can’t move you without your help. I’d sooner dress a lamppost.”

Donny stuck out his lower lip. “I don’t want to sit in my chair.”

“You can’t stay in bed all day.”

“Why not?” He made a face at her. “What difference does it make if I stay in bed or sit in my chair?”

Molly sighed. “It’s not good for you to lie around.” Weary of Donny’s increasing bad moods, she sat on the edge of the bed. “Now what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong with
you
?” His contorted face made him look older than his years. “You keep pushing me to do things I don’t want to do.”

She threw his clean shirt down and stood. “I never ask you to do anything that’s not for your own good.”

“It’s not for my good, it’s for yours!”

Hands at her waist, she glared at him. Already her temples ached. It was too early to argue, but she could hardly ignore him when he was this upset. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He stared at her with accusing eyes. “You just want to get rid of me so that you can marry the doctor.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Whatever made you . . . Donny, I would never get rid of you and I’m not getting married. Why would you even think such a thing?”

“Quit lying to me. I heard you and the doc talking.”

“You heard us?”

“The other night.”

Molly’s thoughts scattered. “I don’t know what you mean. What did you hear?”

“I heard Doc Fairbanks say I had the right to know.”

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. This was the moment she’d always dreaded, the moment she’d prayed would never come. “What you heard—it’s not what you think.”

“Then what is it?” His eyes narrowed. “What don’t I know?”

She stared at him. Caleb was right. Donny was no longer a child and had the right to know the truth of his injury. “Something . . . I should have told you long ago.”

Donny’s brows drew together. “Tell me now!”

“After you get in your chair.” Perhaps by the time he was dressed, the right words would come to her.
Just don’t let him hate me.

“Promise?”

“Promise.” Brodie had gone to Tombstone for supplies and she was in charge until his return. Today she could be a little late and no one would be the wiser.

Donny cooperated fully. Neither spoke, but he watched her face as if searching for clues. She helped him through his morning ablutions and for once he gave her no argument.

When he was fully dressed, he gripped the arms of the chair and leaned forward. “You said you would tell me.”

“Let’s go outside.” It was hot and stuffy in the room and she desperately needed fresh air. She pushed him through the house and onto the shaded verandah.

In the distance, Orbit did his crazy circling. The colt kept stopping to look at the fence where she normally sat and sang to him each morning. She was wrong. Someone did notice she was late.

She drew her gaze away from Orbit to find Donny watching her, his forehead shadowed with questions.

She lowered herself on a wicker chair and cleared her voice but the huskiness remained. “Caleb and I were talking about your accident. When you fell out of your carriage. That’s what you heard.” She blew out her breath. Not knowing where else to start, she started at the beginning. “The day of your accident Mama wasn’t feeling well, so I took you for a walk.”

She went to great lengths to describe the Christmas tree in the shop window. The porcelain doll, gray cloudy skies, and snowmuddied street were just as clear to her now as they had been on that long ago day. She’d never talked about Donny’s accident except to Caleb. Maybe that’s why it still hurt so much, why the memories had not diminished.

After her father died she recalled every detail of his last hours on earth with chilling accuracy. She repeated them over and over in her mind, as if careful attention to specifics would make his death seem more real. Particulars didn’t help then and they didn’t help now.

Donny sat perfectly still without uttering a sound.

“It was my fault. I . . . should never have taken my eyes off you and for that I will never forgive myself.”

“Is that the only reason you take care of me? Because it was your fault?”

The question cut through her but no more so than the
accusations in his eyes. “I take care of you because you’re my brother and I love you.”

“More than you love the doctor?”

Her mouth dropped open.
Love?
“Donny . . . I . . .” She started to deny it but the words wouldn’t come. Was he right? She knew she had feelings for Caleb but had simply brushed them off as a schoolgirl crush. Never had she allowed herself to call her feelings
love.

Is that why the memory of his kisses still lingered? Why her heart skipped a beat the moment she heard Bertha’s motor in the distance?

He glared at her. “You can’t say it, can you? You can’t say you love me more.”

“I love
you
,” she said in a choked voice. “You’re my brother. You mean the world to me.”

“But you love the doctor more!”

“No!”

The vehemence of her voice made him lean back but suspicion remained on his face. “The only reason you take care of me is because you feel guilty.”

“I do feel guilty,” she admitted. “I would give anything to change what happened, but that has nothing to do with my feelings for you. I hope we can live here forever.” She’d worked hard—harder than she’d ever worked in her life—trying to prove to Miss Walker she had what it took to run a ranch. “You’d like that, right?”

“You don’t want to live here. You want to get married and put me away.”

“Donny, listen to me.” She reached for his hands but he pulled back.

“Go away. Leave me alone. I hate you.”

His words ripped through her. “You can’t mean that.”

“Go!”

It was no use trying to talk to him when he was like this. She turned and stumbled down the steps, her mind in a whirl.
“You love the doctor more.”
Was Donny right about her being in love with Caleb? Was that why he affected her so?

She shook the thought away. Even if it was true, nothing could be done about it. She wanted the ranch for Donny and the only way that was possible was to sign the agreement forbidding marriage.

“I hate you.”

Donny didn’t mean it. Couldn’t mean it. He was upset. They both were. Later they would talk and everything would go back to the way it was.
God, please let it be so.

Long after the argument with his sister, Donny sat on the verandah watching her work with horses. He felt bad for the things he said. He didn’t hate her, he could never hate her. Nor could he blame her for his accident. He was just so afraid of losing her he hadn’t been able to think straight.

Molly put a bay through its paces. Astride the horse she circled the corral much as Donny’s thoughts circled in his head. She promised to sign those papers and that meant they could live on the ranch forever. Never again would he have to worry about losing Molly and facing the world alone.

Maybe when Molly took over as the full owner, she’d let him build an observatory on the property with a real telescope. He envisioned astronomers trekking to the Last Chance to view an eclipse, comet, or other heavenly spectacle. What discussions they would have. And how he would amaze them with his knowledge!

He was so engrossed in his thoughts it took him awhile to
realize something was wrong with Orbit. The black horse whinnied, teeth white against black lips. He stood on his hind legs, pawing the air with frantic hooves. He then dropped down on all fours, ran back and forth, and then rose again on his hind legs.