Waiting for Something (15 page)

Seventeen

“Ok, so what are you wearing this weekend for the dance?”
Marlie and I sat on the gym floor stretching for dance.

“I have no idea. We should hit up Forever 21 or
Express today so I can find something,” I touched my toes before going into the splits.

“You think Ben will try to ask you to it again today?” she laughed.

“Probably. I don’t know how to tell him that I’m not interested,” I sighed.

“Just let him down easy. It’s not of a big deal. You’re working on fixing yourself right now. That makes sense,”
Marlie stood up.

It’s my senior homecoming and I’m nominated for homecoming queen. Don’t ask me how that happened. After what happened this summer I decided I just needed to do me for a while. Jake and I talk every now and then but it’s awkward, as it should be. Eli is willing to wait until I’m ready even though I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready. We talk every day and it feels so right, but I’m just not there yet. Well, at least my heart isn’t.

“Hey, so Carter’s been acting weird lately. This summer was amazing with him and I thought we really had something. But now he’s been distant.”  We helped each other stretch.

“I thought we were talking about my guy problems?” I frowned.

“You have so many it would take weeks to figure out. Mine is simple,” she grinned.

“True. Well, how is, you know, the sex?” They’ve had more sex than I have.

“Great. Like, incredible. So it can’t be that. Well, wait.” I could almost see the wheels turning.

“What is it?
Bad sex lately?” I laughed a little.

“No! More like no sex lately! Now that I think about it, we haven’t had sex since the second week of school!” I went back in my mental calendar and realized that had been a long time ago.

“Oh, wow. Something is definitely up,” I worried he might be breaking up with her.

“You think he’s breaking up with me?” her voice was low as we walked to our spots for dance.

“No. Trust me, he’s not going anywhere.” The music started and I made sure my fingers were crossed.

After practice we headed down to the locker room. I had to get dressed up for some stupid picture of the homecoming court or whatever they call it. I headed outside with the other kids and stood beside Carter since we were partners.

“You look nice,” he grinned.

“You too.
Nice tie. I think I picked it out,” I smiled.

“Oh,
Marlie got it for me,” he looked a little hurt.

“Yeah, I helped her pick it out,” I tried to lighten the mood.

“Well, good choice,” he put his arm on the small of my back.

We lined up and started taking pictures for the paper.

“Funny face?” Carter whispered from behind me.

“What?” I giggled quietly between pictures.

“This next one make a funny face,” he looked down at me.

“Fine,” I rolled my eyes.

When the photographer said three we both made the most ridiculous faces. I missed hanging out with Carter. We had a really good relationship and I feel like it was interrupted by some very inappropriate decisions. I didn’t want to do this since I was supposed to take care of myself. But Marlie is my best friend, I reminded myself.

“So, how are you and
Marlie doing?” I spit the words out slowly, kicking myself.

“Oh, we’re okay, I guess. It’s kind of rocky now. I’m not sure I’m feeling it anymore.” We walked back inside.

“Well, what are you going to do?” We walked over to the gym.

“I shouldn’t be talking to you about this,” he messed with his hair anxiously.

“You’re right. I’m sorry,” I messed with my bangs.

“You get so nervous around me lately. What’s with that?” he stopped in front of me.

“I do not,” I got defensive.

“I know you, Al. You do.” He gave me a look and I surrendered.

“I guess. I don’t know,” I shrugged.

“Well, stop it. You’re freaking me out,” he laughed and
swooped me off of my feet, running me all the way across to the stage.

“Carter, put me down,” I playfully giggled and he let me down while I stumbled a bit.

“Oh, here,” he caught me and our faces were inches apart.

“Looks like we’re interrupting,” Chelsea and some girls came from the girls’ locker room.

“Chelsea, don’t. It’s not like that,” I put distance between us.

“Don’t explain anything to me,” she glared and I knew she wanted to attack.

“Seriously, knock it off,” I said through gritted teeth.

“Kisses,” she blew us a kiss and waltzed off.

“This isn’t going to be good,” I looked down.

“What are you saying?” Carter looked a little terrified now.

“She’s going to start something. Why do I put myself in positions like this?” I sighed.

“What do you mean, ‘positions like this’?” he was a little irritated.

“With you, I always get myself into trouble,” I crossed my arms.

“You do not,” he glared.

“My heart does,” I looked down.

“What are you saying?” his eyes widened.

“There you guys are!” Marlie came walking over.

“
Marlie, hey,” I smiled.

“How were the pictures?” she grinned and hugged Carter.

“Fine. Boring,” he gave me a look.

“Well, go get changed. Class is about to start,” she kissed Carter and my heart kicked me hard.

“Ali?” I started walking off when Marlie’s voice stopped me.

“Yeah?”
I turned around.

“I think Carter’s going to break up with me for real this time.” She looked frantic all of the sudden.

“What makes you say that?” I didn’t know she could read people like that.

“He’s acting like there’s someone else,” she sighed.

“You think he’s cheating on you?” I didn’t think he was like that.

“No, not like really. But I think he has feelings for someone else,” I saw tears start to brim in her eyes.

“Marlie, don’t cry. C’mon, Carter loves you, you know?” I reached out and gave her a huge hug.

“I don’t know, Ali. It’s starting to feel hopeless. I should let him go,” she started to cry a little.

“Hey, class is starting. Chin up. It’ll be fine,” I smiled at her as the bell rang.

“Ready to go, babe?”
Carter came running up the stairs from the locker room.

“Yeah,” she smiled tightly.

“You coming, Ali?” Carter looked at me.

“I’m going to change. Tell Mr.
Ried I’m going to be a little late,” I headed toward the locker.

“Hey, Ali?
Wait a second,” Carter turned the corner with me and Marlie was out of site.

“What do you want?” my heart started thumping in my chest.

“Nothing,” he grabbed the back of my head and brought my lips to his. I should have pushed him away, but I didn’t.

“Carter, we can’t. Not like this,” I pulled away a little too late.

“My heart wants you. Always has, always will,” he grinned slightly and walked back to Marlie.

What the actual fuck? This couldn’t be happening. Not now, not like this. I went and changed and headed off to class. By lunch time things seemed to chill down.
Marlie and Carter seemed to be doing alright and he didn’t make things awkward at all.

“I’m eating your cinnamon roll,” I reached over and grabbed
Marlie’s roll.

“Go for it. How are you so tiny and eat so much?” she grimaced.

“It’s a blessing and a curse. I have to lift more than you just to stay toned,” I shrugged.

“Yeah, we’re in high school. Who lifts?”
Marlie laughed.

“Me,” I stuck my tongue out at her. I was serious about dance.

“Obviously,” she giggled. I went back to eating when my phone vibrated in my pocket.

We need to talk.
It was Carter. So maybe I was wrong about the whole not-making-it-awkward thing.

About what?
I played dumb.

Stop by after school today.
He ignored my attempt to play stupid.

Fine.
I looked up at him and he just stared at me.

The rest of the day seemed to go by without notice. It was like every other day. After school
Marlie practically dashed home. I hardly got to wave at her. I went to my car and headed toward Carter’s house. The beautiful house I’ve been to so many times before seemed scary, nerve racking. I knocked on the door and Carter opened it immediately.

“Hi,” I raised my eyebrow.

“Hi,” he gave me a big grin.

“What’s going on? Why did you want me to come over?” I stepped in the house and let him close the door.

“This is why,” he grabbed my head like earlier and buried his lips into mine.

“Carter, we shouldn’t be doing this,” I pushed him away slightly.

“All I want is you.” He kissed me again and at that moment in time I forgot all of the worries and repercussions that will come out of this.

We somehow made it to the couch only knocking off a book and the remote in the process. I slid his shirt off and felt his sharp, firm abs under my hands once again. My senses went into overdrive and I felt my top come off with a fast swoop. With my nails digging into his back and his hands pulling tightly on my hair, I thought I might scream from the pleasure of his kisses. He slowly got up and scooped me off to his bedroom and never once took his lips off mine. I was on cloud nine and my hormones were even higher.

“Carter,” I stopped our kissing when he set me down on his huge king-sized bed.

“You’re right.
Too far. I’m sorry,” he sat up.

“No, it’s just. Are you sure we want to get into this? If we do, there’s no going back,” I whispered.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I want you. So bad. I want this, us,” he brushed my hair behind my ears.

“Then what are you waiting for?” I smirked and he went back to kissing me.

Before I knew it the pants were gone and then with an easy twist of his hand my bra was gone. He grasped my breasts and the sensation boiled through me like never before. He was gentle and firm at the same time. He gently kissed my nipples and I felt them swell under his lips. He then trailed kisses all the way down my stomach and kissed along my panty line. I gasped at the instant surge that I felt down there and I craved him. I needed him and I wanted him. I pulled his jeans off and let my hands explore down to his waistband. My hand slid down and I touched his hard shaft. His moaning aroused me even more than I already was.

“Make love to me, Carter,” my voice raspy and gasping for air.

He brought his lips to my neck and did just that. We melted together, our bodies like puzzle pieces. We were made for each other.

After I finished numerous times and he himself finished we laid under the covers, holding each other close. I traced my fingers gently on his chest and he combed his fingers through my hair. It was perfect. We didn’t even talk. We didn’t need to. Somewhere between the hearts I was tracing and my own heart pounding with emotions, I dozed off.

“Al? Hey, sweetie, wake up.” I felt kisses on my face.

“How long was I out?” I opened my eyes slightly and rubbed them.

“Not long. We should get up. I have some things to take care,” he unwrapped himself from my grasp and I immediately felt lonely. So this is what it felt like to be with the right person.

I sat up and began getting dressed. Carter ran into the living room quickly to get our tops and tossed mine to me.

“Thanks. What do you have to do?” I stood up and buttoned my jeans.

“I sort of need to end it with
Marlie,” he looked at me nervously and brushed his fingers through his hair.

“Wait? What! You haven’t ended it yet?” I was furious.

“Not yet. I didn’t expect any of this to happen, Ali. You know that. Right?” he tried to explain but it came out wrong.

“Oh, so now you’re saying this was a mistake? How could I be so dumb?” I started to storm toward the living room.

“No, Ali. No, it’s not like that. This wasn’t a mistake. Trust me,” he reached out for me.

“No. Don’t touch me. I’m gone and I will be until you figure out this shit,” I stormed off.

“Ali, come back,” He came after me and stopped me right after I opened the door to see none other than Marlie.

“What’s going on, guys?” her face was confused.

“Nothing. I was just leaving,” I stuttered.

“No, tell me. Are you guys planning a surprise for me?” she grinned a little.

“No, we’re not,” Carter looked nervous.

“Why are you two acting so weird? What’s going on?”
Marlie was anxious now.