Waiting for Something (25 page)

             
“Okay, well what do you need?” I didn’t want to get attached again. I just started letting go.

             
“Why are you in a robe?” he looked at me perplexed.

             
“I just got out of the shower. Is that okay?” I was good at distancing myself.

             
“What’s wrong?” Now he was pissing me off.

             
“Let me think. We get into a huge fight, we’re done with each other for good, you get into a wreck and your brother won’t let me see you in the hospital. That’s just a few things,” I put my hands on my hips.

             
“I’m sorry about that.” Same old shit.

             
“Here, let me show you something.” I bashed my foot down on his.

             
“What the hell?” he winced and stepped back in pain.

             
“Oh, I’m sorry,” my voice was sharp.

             
“It still hurts like hell, Ali.” he sat down and took off his shoe.

             
“Exactly, Jake. Just because you say you’re sorry doesn’t mean everything is suddenly better. You can’t be here. I’m working on moving on and so should you. Please, leave.” I gave us distance again.

             
“Okay, I get it. Just know I’m never going to give up.” He slid his shoe back on and headed back down the balcony. As I closed the French doors behind him, I felt my heart turn to glass and just shatter.

             
“Alice, please come down here.” I heard my dad’s voice.

             
“Just a minute,” I pulled on some sweats and threw on a sweatshirt.

             
“Why did I just see Jake walk away from the house?” He looked mad.

             
“Dad, nothing happened, okay?” I didn’t want to get into this with him.

             
“Has this happened a lot?” Great.

             
“No,” I rolled my eyes.

             
“Young lady, come back here. Do not roll your eyes at me,” he pointed his finger at me.

             
“Honey, she’s having a rough night, okay? I trust that nothing happened. Just let it go,” my mom intervened.

             
“What’s wrong, Alice dear?” My dad could be so bipolar.

             
“It’s nothing. Girl stuff,” I sighed.

             
“You’re not pregnant, are you?” his voice became hushed.

             
“Dear God, Dad, no,” I scoffed.

             
“Okay. Well I love you and I’m here if you need me.” He went back to making supper and my mom just gave me an ”I’m sorry” expression.

             
“I didn’t know hobo was the look in the city,” Dillon looked at me as I walked into the living room.

             
“Shut up. Scoot over,” I hit him with a pillow.

             
“What crawled up your butt and died?” he scooted down to the end of the couch.

             
“Just leave me alone, okay?” I sat down and watched “The Santa Clause” with him.

             
Christmas was the season of togetherness and hope. I felt neither and not sure I would for a very long time.

Twenty-Five

             
“I’m home,” I let myself into the apartment.

             
“Ali? Hey, sweetheart!” I watched as Jesse walked down the hall towards me and embraced me in a tight hug.

             
“Oh, I’ve missed you so much.” I kissed him.

             
“I missed you too. How was your flight?” He took my bags and we headed to the living room.

             
“It was fine. What about you? How was Europe?” I sat on the couch as he poured me a glass of wine.

             
“Magnificent. I have so many pictures.” He handed me one and sat beside me.

             
“I’m glad you had a good time. How’s your family doing?” I took a sip.

             
“Really great. My dad got a promotion so they’re making twice as much now.” His family was already loaded. Now they’re really loaded.

             
“That’s great. You fall in love over there?” I grinned jokingly.

             
“Nope, only thought of you.” He kissed me again.

             
“Good reply.” I snuggled against him.

             
“What about you?” I felt my heart drop a little.

             
“No, of course not. What’s for supper?” I changed the topic quickly.

             
“I was gonna do takeout. Chinese or pizza?” Felt good to be home.

             
“Chinese. I can’t believe I start classes again tomorrow.” I walked to the kitchen to grab the Chinese menu and look through the options.

             
“I start classes too. Oh, hey, Marlie called and left a message. You’re supposed to text or call right away.” He came up behind me and looked at the menu over my shoulder.

             
“Oh yeah? I’ll text her in a minute. Before I forget, could I make you my plus one for the wedding?” I turned around as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

             
“Why yes you can,” he started kissing me.

             
“I think we need to workout before we ate all of these carbs,” I bit his lip.

             
“You don’t have to tell me twice.” He started kissing my neck and the rest, well, we’ll just let your imagination play it out.

             
“I literally don’t want you to leave me,” he held me close to his chest in the morning.

             
“I can’t miss the first day of classes,” I stretched out.

             
“Fine, let me start the coffee.” He got out of bed and put on his boxers.

             
“You’re perfect,” I sat up and put on his oversized tshirt.

             
“Nope, that’s you.” He kissed me before leaving the room.

             
I checked my phone before going to the restroom and no surprise, Jackie had already called me more than once. She would just have to wait until I went to class to catch up.

             
“I gotta get going so make that coffee to go,” I came out all ready and grabbed a granola bar.

             
“Ah come on, really?” he turned around with a coffee cup.

             
“Yes, get me a thermos and I’ll take it with me.” I grabbed my bag.

             
“You look cute,” he handed me the thermos.

             
“Well thank ya. I’ll see you tonight?” I took a sip.

             
“You sure will. Have a good day. Tell Jackie hi for me.” He kissed me.

             
“Will do. Love you.” I returned the kiss.

             
“Love you too, baby.” He waved while I walked out the front door.

             
As I reached campus I saw Jackie waiting for me outside of our first class’ building.

             
“Jackie, hey.” I hugged her.

             
“I’ve got some news.” Her face made it look like it wasn’t good news.

             
“What’s up?” I didn’t want to freak out but my heart started to pound.

             
“Jesse cheated on you,” she blurted.

             
“What? No, you’ve gotta be wrong,” my face went blank.

             
“I got this picture sent to me. It was when he was in Europe.” She showed me a picture of him and a girl half naked making out.

             
“This could just be photoshoped.” I was in denial.

             
“Ali, sweetie, there is nothing photoshopped about this.” She looked sorry for me.

             
“We literally just had sex last night. He’s been acting completely normal.” Now I was shocked.

             
“Well he’s been two-timing you. I’m so sorry you had to find out like this. I thought you’d rather hear it from me than from some rando in class.” We walked into the building finally.

             
“No, thank you for telling me now. What should I do?” I didn’t know if I was hurt or mad or both.

             
“Well what do you want to do?” I knew she had a plan but she wanted to make sure I wanted the same thing before saying anything.

             
“I want to get him back. I want to destroy him.” We sat down together in the back of the classroom.

             
“Let’s do it. There’s this welcome back party on Friday. I say we do it then. It’s at the same club we went to at the beginning of the year. The owner’s daughter caught  him cheating on his wife.” New York was something else.

             
“Alright, let’s do it,” I turned back to the front of the classroom.

             
Pretending like nothing was wrong was the worst part. We went out for coffee after our classes and had an early supper. I told him I was going to stay at the dorms that night because I was tired and really needed the rest. He took the bait and dropped me back off at the dorms where Jackie was waiting patiently.

             
“How was it?” She looked worried.

             
“He’s acting like nothing is wrong. I wanted to kill him when we were at coffee. I need to go to the studio for a bit.” I started changing into my workout clothes.

             
“Gonna do a Footloose reenactment?” she grinned.

             
“Very funny. No, I’m just gonna work on some routines I’ve been making up.” I put my sweater on over my sports bra.

             
“Alright, well don’t do anything stupid that will get you hurt. We need you for the end of the year recital.” She turned on the TV.

             
“I won’t. I’ll see you in a bit.” I took my bag and left the room once again.

             
As I was dancing to ”Who Are You” by Fifth Harmony I saw someone come in from the corner of my eye. It was a girl from one of my dance classes. I paused the music and turned to her.

             
“Can I help you?” I was a little short with her.

             
“You’re Ali Burns, right?” she walked towards me.

             
“Yeah, why?” Something didn’t seem right.

             
“You’re with Jesse?” she looked me over.

             
“Yeah.” I wanted to vomit at the thought of him.

             
“You should probably end it.” She was snotty with me.

             
“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t take advice from strangers.” I leaned into my hip.

             
“You’re obviously not very smart, are you?” She got this evil grin on her face.

             
“I’m very smart, thanks for asking. What’s going on? Who are you?” I was getting sick of her being here.

             
“I’m Elizabeth and I’m the girl in the photo. See, what you didn’t know is that he invited me to Europe. He introduced me to his family as his girlfriend. He’s been with me for longer than he’s been with you. I think it’s time you excuse yourself.” I was in complete shock. How could he do this to me?

             
“Did you know about me?” I was hoping she was not okay with being treated like this.

             
“Not until about an hour ago when I grabbed ahold of his phone while he was in the restroom,” she sneered.

             
“I had no idea about any of this.” I was still in shock.

             
“Well end it. Now,” her voice was rigid.

             
“You’re just going to let him treat you like this?” Was this girl stupid?

             
“Oh, honey, you shouldn’t feel bad for me. I had him first,” she chuckled and walked out of the studio.

             
This guy was more screwed up than I thought. I mean, I know cheating on me with some random girl was bad but the fact that he’d been dating her for longer than me while none of us knew about it is pretty bad. I gathered my things and walked back to the dorms. As I burst through the door I let myself fall to the ground in tears.

             
“Ali, what’s going on?” Jackie jumped off the bed and plopped down beside me.

             
“There’s been another girl this whole time, Jackie. In fact, I’m the other girl.” I started bawling as she held me in her arms.

             
“What? You’re kidding me.” She was genuinely surprised too.

             
“Yeah, apparently it’s the same Elizabeth from the jazz class we took last semester.” I let myself unravel.

             
“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. Damn, if I did I would’ve beat his ass a long time ago,” she rubbed my back.

             
“Yeah, well that makes two of us. I’m just going to end it now,” I wiped my tears.

             
“No, don’t. Wait. Please just wait two more days.” Did she have something up her sleeve?

             
“What do you have going on?” I gave her a look.

             
“Nothing. I just know you should definitely make him jealous,” she grinned.

             
“Fine, but I can’t promise I’ll want to spend much time with him.” I picked myself up off of the floor.

             
“Trust me, neither would I. I can’t believe he would do that. I truly thought he was a better guy than that.” She seemed really disappointed in him.

             
“Was I supposed to meet Jesse, Jackie?” She planned it.

             
“Maybe. Look, you were new and I knew he was a good guy. Well, I thought he was. I just thought you two would get along.” Now I could tell she felt bad.

             
“How about from now on you make sure the guy is single first,” I half laughed.

             
“Got it,” she laid back on the bed.

             
“Do we have ice cream?” I sat beside her, moping.

             
“Yep, I’ll grab it. And we also have Cheeto Puffs.” She got up and went to our mini fridge.

             
“We should watch ’How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days.’ I turned on Netflix. I deserve to splurge. Tonight has sucked.

             
“Basic white girl status, here we come,” Jackie laughed.

             
As I laid in bed that night I thought about my life and how every time I thought I was out of the water someone would dunk me back under. I never caught enough breath for even a second. I didn’t know what I even wanted from life anymore. I felt so hopeless. I just wanted to be happy and not have to constantly worry if someone I cared about was going to betray me. I knew I didn’t need a guy to depend on but I did know that that was the road I could have very well been going down. I swore to myself that I would only get into a relationship when everything about it felt right. Here goes to trusting my heart one last time.