Authors: Dawn Stanton
“Cory, I’ve already forgiven you,” I say through my tears. “I’d like to be friends with you again. I’ve missed you so much. You'd always been there for me and then suddenly you weren't. There was a big void without you and no one could take your place." I pause for a bit to blow my stuffy nose and Cory laughs at how loud the sound is. It provides a moment of much needed levity in this intense conversation we’re having.
"I don't regret what happened between us and though I think you could have let me down in a much better way, everything worked out for the best. I probably would have wasted all kinds of time pining away over you and hoping for the impossible. It wasn't like you would have wanted to be in a relationship with me anyway.” I take a moment to drink some of my margarita and gather my thoughts.
“And now that we are friends again, it’s like we’ve come full circle.” I smile through my tears at him.
“Hailey, I know that back then a relationship would never have worked out for us, but now I think things would be different. I don’t just want to be your friend Hailey. I want us to be together...in a relationship. I want a monogamous, committed relationship with you.”
Whaaat?
“Wow, I can honestly say I never saw that coming.” I reply, my eyes wide and more than a little surprised.
“I’m totally serious Hailey. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it and I would never say anything to you if I weren't absolutely sure. If you hadn’t come to work for the firm, I was going to talk to you this summer at your family’s beach house.”
“Cory, I’d just be your flavor of the month and soon someone else would catch your eye.” I smirk at him and make light of the situation as if the idea of him with someone else doesn’t bother me.
“I’m not going to want anyone else Hailey. I haven’t been with anyone else in over six months. I’ve been trying to become a better man so I’d be worthy of you. You’re it for me babe.” I’m in shock at what he’s revealed. I can’t believe he’s been abstaining from sex for so long and it’s actually really sweet and very flattering that he thinks that much of me. But how can I take the chance on him after all that happened before?
“Cory, I’m sorry, but I can’t offer you anything more than friendship. I have forgiven you for what happened, but I will never be able to forget about it. What you did changed who I am as a person and how I handle relationships. I don’t get seriously involved with anyone. What Marcus and I have is the closest I will come to being committed to someone and that’s only because I know he would die before hurting me.” Cory’s elbows are on the table and his hands are clenching his hair. It looks like he is pulling it out of his head in frustration. He lifts his head and looks in my eyes. I can see I’ve hurt his feelings, but I refuse to be anything but honest and upfront with him. If our history has taught us anything, it’s the need for honesty.
“Okay Hailey, let’s be friends for now, but I’d like to be able to spend time with you, away from the office. We don’t need to hide our friendship anymore. We’re both adults now.”
“Cory, I’d really like that. Being friends with you again makes me happy.”
“I hope I always make you happy, babe.”
Chapter Twenty- Eight
June 2015 - Cory
It’s not until now when I’m lying in bed that I’ve had time to process all that went on with Hailey and me today. I’m happy she agreed to sit down and have a drink with me and I’m so relieved that I finally got to apologize to her for what an ass I was that summer. It seems so long ago and yet now that she is officially back in my life again, it doesn’t. This time I won’t screw up. I refuse to lose her again and I will do everything within my power to prove to her that we belong together. The chemistry that we share doesn’t happen often. Maybe we have one person that we can feel that connection with, one perfect mate for us and if we don’t grab the opportunity when it presents itself, it will be gone, forever. I’m not taking any chances now that I’ve been handed another shot and I’m going balls to the wall, all the way to the finish line and taking no prisoners.
It was devastating to hear how much I hurt Hailey in the past. I know she carries emotional scars because of what I put her through and if I could go back in time and change my actions I would...in a heartbeat. I acted callously and without any thought about the probability of her suffering long-term effects from my behavior. It’s going to take a lot of time and patience to make her realize that I’m someone she can trust. She can lean on my broad shoulders whenever she needs to and I will always be there for her. When I picture my future, she’s all I can see and I’m going to hold on to that vision until it becomes a reality. She may be afraid of commitment and of making herself vulnerable, but I’m going to show her that I’m worth it. I’m going to own her heart like she owns mine and all the tiny cracks that keep it from being whole, the ones that I had a hand in putting there... I’m going to help her heal them.
I close my eyes and relax into my pillow waiting for sleep to take me into my dreams where she and I are happy together. I can’t help the silly smile on my face as I think about how much I’m looking forward to seeing her in the morning. I feel like tomorrow is the first day, of the rest of my life.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
June 2015 - Hailey
To say that today didn’t go how I pictured it would be a gross understatement. I was surprised when Cory asked if I wanted to get a drink on the way back from the courthouse. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to clear the air, especially since I was just thinking about rekindling our friendship. For once fate smiled down on me and we were able to talk it all out and hopefully now we can move forward. Now that I said my peace, I feel a sense of lightness that I didn’t have before. I feel good about the things that Cory said to me and his reasons for his hurtful actions are valid. It doesn’t excuse what he did, but I feel much better for knowing where his head was at during that time.
I was being totally honest with him when I said that he left a void in my life that I didn’t give anyone else a chance to fill, mostly because no one else could fill his shoes. I never really let myself think about how much I missed him until today when we were having our talk. I think I was in denial and I didn’t want to give him that much power over me. By pretending he didn’t exist and not thinking about our history, I didn’t have to admit to myself how much I loved him. There’s a part of me that will always love Cory and he will always own a part of my heart. I won’t be handing over any more pieces to him, though. I barely made it through last time and if I gave him another chance and it ended badly, there wouldn’t be any coming back from it. Cory is one of those guys that leaves devastation in his wake. He doesn’t mean to, it’s just the way it is. That’s why I have to keep him at a distance. I need to make sure I keep boundaries firmly in place and not let him cross them. It’s not going to be easy considering our powerful attraction, but it’s necessary. He can say he wants more with me and that may be true, but that won’t change the fact that his version of a relationship is much different than mine.
I’m curious to see how tomorrow will go. Will he keep up all of the sexual innuendos or will he tone them down? I wonder if I will feel different when we are together. Maybe now that we have worked it all out and I have made a definitive decision to be friends only, our attraction will finally simmer down.
But do I really want it to?
Chapter Thirty
June 2015 - Marcus
Next week was supposed to be my annual trip to California to visit my dad and his wife, Mary. This is the first time I haven’t wanted to go and it’s because Hailey can’t go with me. She has her internship and I know she takes it very seriously. She is conscientious by nature and super responsible. Both of those traits I really admire in her. Today I got an unwanted phone call from my dad, asking me to head out there right away. One of his employees had a heart attack and will be out of work indefinitely. Dad wants me to take over his position until he is well enough to come back. This could potentially mean being out there for most of the summer and being away from Hailey. I close my eyes for a moment, as I do my best to stifle the panic that engulfs me when I think of not seeing her for weeks. I can’t make it through a single day without multiple texts and on the nights when we sleep in our own rooms, I lay awake for hours, unable to sleep without her right next to me. How can I possibly survive for weeks without her?
This is probably the worst possible timing for me to be leaving for any length of time with everything that has been going on at her work. I feel selfish even saying this because my dad’s employee didn’t plan on having a heart attack and what he and his family are going through is much worse in the grand scheme of things. I worry that with me temporarily out of the picture, Cory will try to slither his way back into Hailey’s life. He is a snake after all and that’s what snakes do best. I know there’s something between them, even if she doesn’t want to tell me. She knows it will hurt me and I know she loves me enough to want to protect my feelings. She doesn’t need to tell me anything, I already know, just by watching her reactions when we talk about him. I can read her like a book and in this case, I wish I couldn’t. Ignorance is bliss after all.
I don’t know how I’m going to break the news to Hailey. She’s going to be upset and it’s going to painful for my heart. We had so many plans for the rest of the summer that we won’t be able to make a reality. I’m glad we got to spend this past weekend together at the beach. It will probably be the only time I get to be there which is a really depressing thought because it’s my favorite place in the world. I’m even going to miss the July third fireworks with Hailey and we always watch them together. I wonder if she will be sitting with Cory this time? I clench my jaw so hard I can hear my teeth grinding at the thought of them sitting there cuddled up next to one another, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I have to help my dad out and I just have to believe she will be here waiting for me when I get back.
I haven’t been completely honest with Hailey when it comes to how I feel about her working so closely with Cory. It makes me absolutely crazy. I can’t stand the thought of him being within fifty feet of her but there’s nothing I can do about it. Letting her know how much it bothers me and how much I worry that he will weasel his way back into her heart, will only upset her. I don’t want to cause her any worry or add to her stress level. I know it’s difficult enough for her to work with him on a daily basis so I try to be as supportive as I can by being a shoulder for her to cry on, a smile for her to count on and an ear, always there to listen.
Who knows, maybe this trip will make her miss me and realize we belong together. Hopefully, it won’t do the reverse and make her realize she doesn’t need me. Just the thought of that is enough to make me nauseous and I refuse to think that way. She and I have gotten this far by me keeping a positive attitude about us, so I need to continue to do that. I need to make sure she knows I’m coming back to her as soon as I can and when I do, I’m not holding back anymore. I’m done sitting on the sidelines and waiting for her to commit. It’s time for me to actively pursue a true relationship with her and break down her walls.
Chapter Thirty-One
June 2015 - Cory
I barely slept last night because I was so keyed up from my talk with Hailey. Waiting for the beeping of my alarm to sound, reminded me of when I was a young boy, waiting for Christmas morning to arrive. I actually have a nervous stomach from the thought of seeing her soon. I wonder what kind of a mood she’ll be in. Will she act as though nothing has changed? Will she be happy to see me? I hate this fear of the unknown that she brings out in me. In the past, I’ve never worried about what any woman thought about me or if they thought about me at all. Hailey completely throws me off balance and knocks me for a loop, every time I’m in her presence. The girl slays me with a single look and she has no freaking idea. I try to act so confident and cool but inside she has me quaking in my wingtips.
***
I’m sitting at my desk, nervously drumming my fingers on the distressed wood, when she walks through the door. She has a smile on her face and she’s holding two coffees in her hands.
“Good morning,” she says cheerily as she sets the coffees down on the desk, mine in front of me.
“Good morning babe. Thanks for the coffee. I didn’t sleep well and I can really use the caffeine jolt.”
“I didn’t sleep well either. I wonder if it was a full moon or something.” She says looking pensive. I rise from my chair, pushing it back and begin walking towards her.
“I couldn’t sleep because I was too excited about patching things up with you.” I smile before I grab her hand and tug her into my arms. She lets out the most adorable, mouse-like squeal of surprise before wrapping her arms around my waist and leaning her cheek on my chest. God, I’ve missed this feeling.
“Hmm, don’t move,” she says, nuzzling her face against my dress shirt covered chest. I need to spend the next hour just like this so I can have a nap. You’re so comfy it’s making me sleepy.” I pull her in tighter against me, but I’m trying to keep my hard on from making contact with her. Having her in my arms is making me anything but sleepy and my cock is fully awake and ready to go. I don’t want to ruin this moment, but I’m not sure how much more of this contact my sex starved body can take. I let go of her and step back, giving me some distance and helping to clear my head of the perverse images I'm having of her bent over my desk. That is the main fantasy I often find myself imagining. I picture her with a skirt on, much like the one she is wearing today, and I think about slowly pushing it up over her hips, to her waist, leaving her juicy ass exposed for me to grip in my hands as I fuck her roughly from behind. I groan out loud at the dirty thoughts flowing through my mind and turn my back to her, stealthily adjusting my hard on as I walk back to my chair. I feel better now that there’s some distance between us. Being friends with her once again, is the first step towards truly making her mine, but it makes keeping my hands off her, so much more difficult. Now that she no longer despises me, I want to touch her all the time, but I have to be careful not to come on too strong. I have to treat her with kid gloves and slowly become a bigger part of her life. Hailey is very stubborn and if I push too hard, she will push right back and we won’t make any progress if that happens.
“Are you okay?” She asks causing me to groan again, this time in annoyance because she heard the first one I let out. Obviously, I can’t tell her what really provoked it. I don’t want to scare her off before we even get a chance to get started.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I pulled my hamstring this weekend and it’s pretty painful.” I did actually pull my hammy, this past weekend when I was playing a pickup game with some friends. I felt it pull as I went up for a jump shot, so at least I’m not lying to her. I don’t want there to be any dishonesty between us, not even if it’s over something insignificant.
“Well, that sucks,” she says. “You know that means you’re getting old, right?” She asks with a hint of a smile on her shiny red lips.
“I’m like fine wine...I get better with age.” I wink at her before turning my thoughts to work related topics. I need to keep us busy so I can get some work done and not think about how I’d like those glossy, stained lips wrapped around my cock. Jesus, I need to get a grip. I pick up a folder on my desk and hold it out in front of me.
“I need you to proof all of these documents, make sure everything is in order and then file them. That should take you most of the morning. Then I was thinking we could go to lunch.” She reaches forward, taking the file from me before quickly perusing it.
“Okay, I can get all this done this morning. I’m sorry, I can’t go to lunch with you today. I already have plans. Maybe we can go another day?” She asks tipping her head to the side and twirling the ends of her hair. My lips quirk in a small smile when I realize that she’s flirting with me. She may not consciously be doing it, but she is and that’s all that matters.
“We can definitely go another time, no worries,” I tell her as I turn to my computer and get started on my next task.