“No. Because this is a sit-down production, similar to the New York show, we would need you to commit to a full year. The contract is fairly standard, but I can send it over to your representation if you’d like, give them a chance to look it over for you.”
A year. My hopes plummeted. I couldn’t live in LA for a year with Adrienne in New York and still have a chance at things working out between us, something I was hoping for. But at the same time, how in the world could I justify passing up this chance? I couldn’t. I’d spent my entire life working toward a goal, and to walk away from this opportunity was in direct opposition to everything I’d done thus far in my life, not to mention, it would be insane.
I nodded my head to Brenda. “Yes, please send the contract to Andrew Latham at the Journey Agency, but I think I need some time to think this over. Would that be all right?”
Brenda and Dermot exchanged a glance but nodded their agreement. Dermot came around the desk and took my hands in his. “I think this is something you’re going to want to be a part of, Jenna. Have a great show tonight and let me know what you decide.”
I thanked them both and walked, slightly stunned, to my dressing room. I sat at the table and stared at my reflection in the mirror, a slow smile showing at the corners of my mouth. I nodded slowly to the girl looking back at me as that smile grew. Regardless of whether I took the job or not, this was good news. I was doing a decent job and someone had noticed. I gave myself a moment to revel in the excitement before switching into game mode. I still had a show to do and that was my priority. I would sort out the rest later. Three and a half hours later, I was walking quickly back to the hotel, anxious to check on Adrienne and hear how she was doing.
The procedure on her knee was outpatient and she should be back home by now.
I swiped my key card in the door and didn’t hesitate to start dialing. Adrienne’s phone rang and rang and rang before finally rolling over to voice mail. I tried again and was surprised when a male voice picked up.
“Hi, is this Jenna? It’s Colin.” Ah, the friend of Adrienne’s who’d taken her to and from the surgery. Sounded like a good guy.
“Colin, hi. Sorry it’s so late. I was calling to check on her. Is she around?”
“She’s asleep and I didn’t think I should wake her. She took a Vicodin for pain and it completely knocked her out. The good news is she’s still doing well.”
“That is good news. Would you mind if I called back and left her a voice mail?
“No, I think she would love that.” “Thanks, Colin.”
“No problem.”
After hanging up, I looked around the empty room. I was disappointed. I wanted to talk to Adrienne and have her tell me herself she was okay. The long-distance thing sucked and it hit home how difficult things would be if I took this job. I blinked back the stupid tears and walked the length of the room as I dialed. I listened to her voice on the outgoing message and smiled. Part of me wanted to call back and listen again.
“Hi, sweetheart, I just talked to Colin and he told me you’re sleeping. I didn’t want to wake you but had to let you know I’m thinking about you. I’ll call tomorrow. If you wake up, call me. I don’t care what time it is.”
I hung up but continued pacing. I was exhausted, but at the same time knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I checked myself in the mirror before impulsively grabbing my bag and heading to Heat, the Latin themed bar where everyone had gathered. I could use a drink. I found my friends right away and took comfort in the loud music and dim lighting. Lanie hopped over a stool so I could sit between her and Georgette. Ben and Sienna sat across the table. As I passed, I nodded to Kyle, who sat at the bar with Diana and Craig.
“So how’s our girl doing?” Lanie asked.
“I’m not sure. I didn’t get to talk to her, which is upsetting.”
“She sounded fine when I talked to her,” Sienna said evenly,
meeting my gaze.
“You talked to Adrienne? When?”
“About half an hour ago, after the show. She sounded good. She’s been watching movies on the couch. She said the pain is manageable.” She gazed at me dispassionately, like a teacher would at a not so very bright student.
I stared back at Sienna, surprised at this new information. How was it possible that Sienna had spoken to Adrienne so close to when I had called and was told she was fast asleep?
“Maybe she didn’t want to talk to you. I don’t know.” Her smug smile completely annoyed me.
Before I did bodily harm to her and put my job at risk, I excused myself from the table for fear of what I would say or do next. Lunging across the table for Sienna was probably not in my best interest. I walked purposefully to the bar and ordered a dry martini. I nursed it alone until Diana and Kyle motioned for me to move down a few chairs and steal Craig’s spot. The pair were in high spirits and playing a trivia game on the screen above the bar. It was mindless fun and just what I needed to distract me from the events of the evening. Around two a.m. and four martinis later, I looked around the bar. Two thoughts occurred to me: A) the three of us were the only ones left from the company, and B) the bubbles in my scotch and soda looked so perky and pretty and small. It was probably time to turn in. We walked back to the hotel together singing
My Fair Lady
songs led by Kyle, who’d done that tour prior to this one.
I waved a sloppy good night to my friends and found my way back to my room. I stumbled inside, pulling off one article of clothing at a time as I walked to the bed. On the way there, I felt my hip vibrate and pulled out my phone. It was Adrienne. Well, damn, all of a sudden she wanted to talk to me. “Hi,” I said, a little louder than I meant to.
“Jenna? “That’s me.”
“Sorry, you sounded different.”
“I feel different.” I meant it too. I hadn’t been this drunk in forever. “How are you?”
“Your words are slurred. Are you drunk?” She sounded concerned.
“Don’t you worry about me, okay? I’m supposed to worry about you. But you won’t let me do that. You let Sienna worry about you. That’s not fair.”
“She told me you had some stuff going on, so I went to bed. But I just got your message and wanted to call.”
“I’m sorry. I think I’ve had too much to drink.”
“Yeah, I think you have too.” I could hear the irritation now apparent in her voice. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay. That’s good.” I put my head to the pillow and fell asleep with the phone to my ear and the lights on. Not my most shining moment.
❖
“And that would make gin.” I laid my cards on the table triumphantly. “Sorry, kid. You lose again. How does that keep happening?” I asked, feigning complete mystification. I snatched up the two five-dollar bills Stewart and I had thrown into the center of the table to wager.
“You’re a shark, that’s how. You prey on unsuspecting interns who never seem to learn their lesson about you.” He shook his head and turned his baseball cap around front ways again. “Until tomorrow, McGovern. You’ll be singing a different song; just wait.”
I laughed and watched him storm away. It had become a bit of a pre-show ritual for Stewart and me to engage in a little friendly wager over a game of gin rummy. He didn’t win a whole lot though.
It was time to get ready for the show, and for the first time in the past two weeks, I was excited to go on. I had extra energy and felt like dancing. We were now in Austin, having completed the tour stops in Houston and San Antonio. I’d been in Texas for the past three weeks and I was, at last, starting to get used to the unusually warm weather, even as the leaves were changing.
I glanced at my cell phone to see if I’d missed any calls, or more specifically, Adrienne’s calls. The truth was I was nervous. I had decided to delay talking to Adrienne about the offer I’d received until the details of it were all in place. However, there was no reason to wait any longer. Latham had reviewed the contract that production sent over and it looked good. There was nothing standing between me and a very wise career move, aside from my personal life. It was an issue I was struggling with. Was I willing to sacrifice this relationship for my career? I’d gone back and forth in my head so many times. My life was about my work, my dream of working successfully in this business. On the other hand, Adrienne and I hadn’t been afforded the opportunity to try our relationship in the real world, to find out if we fit as well together there as in our incubated tour life. I wanted to give us that time to find out. And then there was the bigger issue that tugged at the recesses of my mind when I was feeling less than confident. Did Adrienne feel for me what I felt for her? There were times when I didn’t know. What if I turned down the job and moved to New York only to have her decide I wasn’t what she wanted? I’d be unemployed and brokenhearted. I leaned back on the couch and sighed. I had a real dilemma.
In even better news, Adrienne’s recovery was going well. It had been several weeks since her surgery, and it sounded like she was up and around, even though she still needed the knee brace. After another couple months of therapy, she should be her old self again. I looked forward to calling her later that night. The thought of it made me smile.
❖
As I moved through the final verse of “Watch Me,” I felt on. I was in a groove and was really sinking my teeth into the character tonight. The stage lights blocked most of the audience from my view, but the first couple rows were somewhat visible. The facial expressions I saw there only encouraged me. They were into it. Hating me, but still into it.
I walked into the greenroom after the show, having changed back into my jeans and zip-up
Clean Slate
hoodie. It seemed like most everyone had signed out and left the theater before me tonight. I was dragging my feet a little, enjoying myself. I walked to the stage door, massaging my aching shoulder muscle and was surprised when the door opened and Ben and I practically collided.
“Whoa.” He steadied me with his hands under my elbows. “Sorry
about that. I left my jacket. It’s getting a little chilly out there, fi .” “No problem,” I said, still laughing about the near miss. “You’re gonna sign tonight, right? Some of the folks out there
are asking for you specifically. I told them you’d just be a minute.”
“I wouldn’t miss it.”
I pushed the door open and smiled at the group of forty or so who quickly extended playbills, posters, and T-shirts for my signature. Many had collected signatures from the entire cast, so it was difficult to find a place left to sign.
“You were my favorite in the show,” a teenage boy said as I signed his T-shirt.
I smiled widely. “That’s great to hear. I was a little mean though, wasn’t I?”
“Definitely. That was so cool.”
I laughed and nodded at his mother, who thanked me. I moved down the line and took the next playbill extended to me.
“You were my favorite too, I think.”
“Thank you.” I smiled down at the playbill as I signed. “Any chance you’re free later?”
The pen in my hand stilled. I knew that voice, but there was no way…
I raised my eyes to the playbill’s owner, and though she was wearing a knit cap in which the bill shadowed part of her face, there was no mistaking the sparkling eyes looking back at me. Adrienne smiled slowly and cocked her head to the side as if to say “surprise.” For a moment, we just stared, grinning at each other from ear to ear. The fans looking on must have figured out who the mystery woman was as I heard her name whispered a little further down the line and heads began to turn in her direction for a better look.
Despite the onlookers, I pulled her into my arms for a hug, burying my face in her hair, taking a moment to breathe her in.
“Is this okay?” she whispered into my ear.
“I can’t believe you’re here right now. It’s wonderful.” “Go ahead and finish up. I’m not going anywhere.” “Don’t you dare,” I whispered back.
I reluctantly let Adrienne go and continued greeting the fans, taking a moment with each one, a practice I’d learned from her. When I’d said good night to the last individual and taken a final photo, I found Adrienne, took her by the hand, and led her back inside the theater. The empty hallway leading to the greenroom was now dark. I could hear the cleaning crew working down the hall, but I didn’t care.
“What are we doing?” she asked, seemingly amused.
“I think this is what’s called stealing a moment.” I pressed her securely to the wall with my body and wrapped my arms around her neck. “So…hi.” I couldn’t seem to wipe the grin off my face. I was still in shock and happy to take it all in.
“Hi yourself,” she answered quietly, moving a stray strand of hair off my forehead. “Have you missed me?”
“You have no idea.”
“Come here, you.” She caressed my cheek with her palm, pulling my lips to hers.
I couldn’t think of a better invitation. Her mouth was warm and inviting, forcing me to delve deeper, my tongue meeting hers as both of us sank further into each other. The kissing escalated into a full-blown make out session. I sucked her bottom lip into my mouth, a move I’d learned was a favorite of hers. Her hands were around my waist, pulling me closer to her still. It wasn’t long before she reversed our positions, pushing me against the wall. I laughed inwardly, recognizing the reversal of power, a give and take dance that was quite familiar to us. Adrienne kissed my neck, moving up to my ear and taking my lobe into her mouth. I moved my hands under her shirt and onto the warmth of her back, needing to get closer and closer to her. I pulled her body firmly against mine, our breasts pushed together, the kiss unbroken. Our breathing
turned erratic and her hands, moving up and down my sides, were driving me crazy.
If the hallway lights hadn’t flipped on above us, I don’t think we would have stopped anytime soon. Unfortunately, they did and peering at us from down the hall was a cleaning woman who looked to be at least seventy-five years old.
“Can I help you, young ladies?” she asked, somewhat confused and maybe a little frightened.
Adrienne took a step back, giving me room to straighten. “Just on our way out,” I answered, giving her my sweetest