“Our room?” Abby asked once he was gone.
Jess blushed then laughed. “It’s a long story, and I promise to tell you everything later. But first, I want to go over some of the stuff I’ve been able to come across. I found it when I was doing research on my guys, but I think it could apply to your situation as well. Cody has been a fountain of information.”
“Do you hear that, Tah?” Abby brushed her fingers along his cheek, including him in the talk. “Jess may have some answers for us.” She kept touching Tah, but turned to look at Jess. “Do you think he’ll be okay?” She voiced her greatest fear to the only real friend she’d ever had.
“I hope so,” Jess assured her. “I know that Diane will do everything in her power to make sure he is. I know Cody will do everything he can. And I know that you’ll do whatever it takes to keep him here with you. You love him.”
It wasn’t a question, and Abby nodded. “He’s everything to me.”
“I understand,” Jess whispered. “The thought of losing one of my guys terrifies me.”
“Both of them then?”
Jess sighed and shook her head. “All four of them.”
“Four?” Abby was pretty sure her voice squeaked with surprise.
“I know how it sounds, but trust me, it’s the most beautiful relationship I’ve ever been a part of. They love me, and I can’t imagine my life without them.”
“I’m happy for you, Jess.”
“Thanks. I’m happy for you too. You found your lion.”
“I can’t lose him.”
“Cody has been through this before with shifters who are unaware for one reason or another of the spirit they share a physical body with. He’s helped many learn how to shift.”
“He said he’s seen some not make it.”
Jess nodded. “He’s watched some refuse to stop fighting and seen them die because of it. He doesn’t talk about those a lot.”
“Do you hear that, Tah? You have to stop fighting and learn how to work with your lion. Stop being stubborn. Listen to him. He’s you, and you’re him.”
“That’s exactly right. They are two parts of one whole. As my guys say, there isn’t one without the other. Cody says sometimes the animal side will lay dormant, until their one true mate appears. That person can call forth the beast.”
“He thinks that’s what I did?”
“Yes. But there was so much more going on. Tah’s beast went from being dormant to waking with a vengeance. His mate was there, and she was in danger. Add to that the fact you were ovulating, and it’s a sure way to turn the animal feral.”
“So the animal tried to take over?”
“Essentially. He would have fought Tah at every opportunity to protect you. He would have needed you close at all times. And the need to bind you to him sexually would have been a dominant force.”
Abby nodded. “We separated for a few hours. I went to the library to contact your dad while Tah went to buy supplies. A woman hit on him and it drove him insane. He said he could smell the lust on her and it disgusted him. He couldn’t get me alone and naked fast enough.”
Jess grinned. “So?”
Abby knew just what Jess was asking. “It was amazing. Absolutely, hands down, amazing. And it only gets better.”
Jess grinned. “I’m glad to hear that.”
“Do you hear me talking about how incredibly sexy you are?” Abby whispered the question to Tah. She turned back to Jess. “I’ve noticed his eyes changing between his brown and a golden yellow color.”
Jess nodded. “They’re still separate right now. Anything else?”
“His hair. It’s been getting streaks of gold and red through it. He’s stronger than before. His senses are off the charts. And there have been a few other things.”
“Such as?” Jess prompted when Abby stopped.
“His cock.”
“Ummm, what?”
Abby cleared her throat. “His cock has changed since we first made love.”
“How?”
“Oh, God, I can’t believe I’m having this conversation.”
“I’m sleeping with four guys,” Jess reminded her with a grin. “Trust me. Nothing you say will shock me.”
“His cock has these protrusions that remind me of the penile barbs on a lion. They’re not barbs, but where they would be along the shaft of a lion, he has bumps that swell up and eventually lock him inside me while he ejaculates.”
“You were ovulating,” Jess mused, while she nodded her head. “It’s the way of the beast to ensure his seed has time to take root in your womb. Or at least that would be my thought. It makes sense.”
Abby nodded. “So do you think, now that I’m…” She stopped and glanced down at her still flat belly. “I still can’t believe I’m pregnant. Can I take a test?”
“It won’t show this soon on a normal test. But trust me, if Cody says you are, you are.”
Abby looked down at Tah. “Do you hear that? We’re going to have a baby. A little mini Tah.”
Tah moved on the bed. Though his eyes didn’t open, his hand clenched in hers and his legs shifted.
“Oh, my God,” Abby exclaimed, sharing an excited look with Jess. “Tah, can you hear me? Wake up, Tah! Wake up!”
* * * *
Tah could hear Abby calling to him, and he wanted nothing more than to open his eyes, pull her close and hold her. A baby. She was having a baby. Pride and pleasure filled his chest. But something held him back, kept him locked inside. And no matter how hard he fought against it, as it grew weaker, so did he.
Chapter Thirteen
From the journal of Abby Lane
What if all of this is meaningless? What if the legend of the paka watu is just that? A story? A legend? I’m swamped with these “what if” thoughts today, and no matter how long I sit here, I can’t shake them from my consciousness.
I think it’s Utah. When I first came here and started watching him, I couldn’t look without picturing the lion I just know he holds inside him. I painted him with so many qualities of the animal. Then I started to know the man and found out just how amazing he is.
I think I’m falling in love with him. I can confess that here. I’m falling in love with Utah Pearce. It’s the man who fills my dreams now, the man I long to hold and call my own. And as the man takes a firmer hold on my thoughts, the lion dream begins to fade toward the background.
I think that’s what scares me the most. Not that Utah will never look at me as more than a friend or casual acquaintance, but that he has the power to make me give up a dream that has consumed most of my life.
I think I love him.
Maybe it’s time for me to leave.
* * * *
Tah didn’t wake up, though he did continue to move restlessly. It was less like he was in a coma state now and more like he was caught in a deep sleep. The fever had eased back a bit, but Abby could tell Jess and Diane were still worried. Cody had tried several times to reach Tah, but whatever he was going through wouldn’t allow the other man to connect with him.
Everyone was checking on her, seeing if she needed anything, asking if there was anything they could do. Abby just stayed by Tah, refusing to leave his side that day and through the night.
“How’s he doing?” Reno’s voice pulled her attention toward the open door where he lounged the next morning.
“His fever’s gone down, but he still won’t wake up.”
Reno crossed the room and sat next to her on the bed. “I have an idea, Abby. Do you trust me?”
She looked at him and part of her felt a trickle of fear as she met his blue eyes. He was so like Tah, except for those blue eyes. She’d always thought they were the same height, but being close to them, she realized Reno was about a half inch taller. Similar builds, though Tah’s shoulders were just a bit broader, his chest the subtlest bit wider. They both gave off strong vibes that proclaimed them as dominant males. Watching them over the last week, she’d realized the difference between them and Logan was they didn’t hide how dominant they were. Logan gave off the easy-going, happy-go-lucky vibe of a boy next door. He’d fooled her for a bit into thinking he wasn’t as alpha as Tah or Reno. But she’d spent her life watching people. Logan was good, but she could read him now.
“Abby?” Reno prompted her again. “Do you trust me?”
Tah trusted him. She knew beyond a doubt Tah trusted Reno with his life and hers. Slowly, she nodded. “Yes.”
He slid his hand down and touched her fingers with his, tried to link them together. “Come with me.”
She jerked her hand back from him. “I’m not leaving him.”
Tah kicked a leg out and both Abby and Reno glanced his way. She had just a moment to glimpse the cold calculation in Reno’s eyes before he reached for her and jerked her to him.
“I think you did something, Abby. I think this is all your fault.”
She shook her head vigorously. “I never meant to hurt him, Reno. I swear.”
“I see you’re not denying this is your fault. He was better off without you. You’ve ruined his life, Abby.”
She could feel the tears spilling down her cheeks as the guilt she kept inside began to eat at her with Reno’s accusations. “I love him.”
“And look what your love has done to him. Look at him.” His hand cupped her head and forced her face to turn toward Tah. “You’ve managed to do what even a war couldn’t do. You’ve taken a great man and brought him as low as he can go. Broke him to the point he prefers lying here, instead of waking up and being with us. Are you fucking proud of yourself?”
Abby sobbed. She tried to reach out for Tah’s chest, but Reno wasn’t done. He pulled her away from Tah, and that was when real terror kicked in. She could feel her heart pounding furiously in her chest.
“He doesn’t deserve you, Abby. Not a woman like you. You need to stay the hell away from him. I’d say he’s making it pretty fucking clear he doesn’t want you or the kid Cody seems to think you’re carrying.”
“No!” she screamed. “He loves me.”
For a brief second, she thought she saw sorrow in Reno’s eyes, but it was quickly replaced by anger as he glanced toward Tah’s form on the bed.
“He loves you?” His laugh was cold and cruel. “I can see how much he loves you. He lays there sleeping while you cry. While I do whatever I want to you.” She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he backed her up until she was trapped against the wall. “He sleeps or whatever the fuck he’s doing while I have my hands on you. Think he’d mind if I tried you out, Abby? If I slipped my tongue in your mouth, fucked my cock inside you?”
“Oh, God.” Abby almost screamed. Where was everyone? Someone had to be around to hear her, hear what was happening? Surely Reno wouldn’t rape her!
“Tah’s gone, Abby. I’ve seen the way you two go at it. You need a man in your life. I’m going to be that man.”
“No!” she shouted as Reno leaned into her. “Tah!” His name was a cry of pure terror.
A roar rocked the room. One minute Reno had her trapped and the next he was flying across the room and hitting the opposite wall. Tah crouched in front of her. His eyes were full yellow, and she knew it was more animal than man who’d come awake to protect her.
Reno rose slowly to his feet. Tah roared again where he was squatted down guarding her, his eyes never leaving Reno.
“Letting the animal do the man’s job, Tah. I expected better of you.” Reno’s voice was hard as steel.
She watched Tah shake his head. Glancing down, she caught the shift of brown and yellow, physical proof of the battle taking place inside him.
“Mine.” Tah’s voice all but roared the claim.
“And this is how you protect what’s yours? Fighting with yourself and leaving her on her own?”
“Mine.” A full roar this time, but Reno showed no fear as he moved from the wall.
“Then deal with your shit and don’t leave her alone again.”
Tah eased to his feet and crossed his arms over his chest. Neither man seemed to care that Tah was naked. Abby tried to slip around him to at least get him a pair of his black boxer briefs, but Tah wouldn’t allow it.
“You’re lucky I didn’t kill you.”
“Never going to happen,” Reno assured him with a cocky smile.
“Don’t ever threaten my woman again.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes to bring you back.”
“You terrified her.”
“And her terror brought your ass awake.”
“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, Reno, like a brother to me. But if you ever make me feel like you’re a threat to Abby, I will kill you.”
Reno nodded. “I told Abby she didn’t deserve you, and I meant it. She doesn’t deserve the person who lay in that bed. She needs a man who will be around to protect her, to love her. Either be that man or let her find someone who will.”
“Mine.” Tah’s voice was so close to the animal Abby felt a chill race down her spine.
“And I’ll protect what’s yours with my life if needed. I’ll protect her even against you when needed.”
Tah’s head dropped to his chest. Abby leaned against his back, tilting her head so she could see Reno across from them, as she wrapped her hands around Tah’s waist.
“You don’t have to protect me from him,” she whispered against Tah’s flesh.
Tah just nodded his head. “Thank you.”
“You’re fucking welcome. Don’t ever make me do it again. I don’t mind being the bad guy when I need to be. But I don’t like scaring a woman. Ever.”
“I know. I owe you.”
“You do, and I’ll collect it someday. Now take care of your woman. Take care of whatever fight is going on inside you, and let’s figure this shit out. I’ve got a twitchy feeling in my neck I can’t explain or shake. Don’t fucking bail on us again.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Tah said as Reno walked to the door.
“I’ll give you guys a little bit of time,” Reno said. “I’ll let the others know it worked.”
“You planned this?” Abby asked with surprise.
“I figured the only way to pull him out was to make him think you were threatened. I was banking on our friendship keeping him from killing me.”
“That’s a hell of a gamble, Reno,” Tah told him.
“I’ve died before,” Reno said with a careless shrug of his shoulders as he walked out, pulling the door shut behind him.