Walking Among the Shadows: Awakening: Revised Edition (30 page)

And it was during that
distraction that it attacked. It attacked with over-the-top violence and rage,
sending furniture and anything else it could throw at me in my direction. Its
aim was bad, very bad and every time it missed it would scream in rage and tear
holes in the walls with its claws. Then it started spinning in a circle faster
and faster until it created a miniature tornado that started to tear the
plaster off the walls and ceiling. This thing was going to bring the entire
house down on my family just to get me. I had to stop this before the entire
house crumbled on top of us. I stretched out  my hands to contain the spinning
Shadow as I slowed time down till the entire room was moving in slow motion.
With everything slowed down I could pinpoint where the Shadow was and I sent a
lightning bolt directly into the middle of the vortex. I quickly sped up time
to its normal pace, bringing everything in the house falling violently to the
floor including the Shadow.

The lights immediately came
back on and  I could make out the Shadow in the far corner of the family room.
Smoke came off of its body as it lay there trying to get up. I walked over to
it ready to deliver the final blow and then I noticed that the Shadow was no
longer in its Shadow form.

It was now in its human form
and what I saw brought me to my knees. I then understood why this Shadow was so
much smaller than the others. It was a child. A little boy no older than ten or
eleven lying in the corner with massive burns over most of his body. He was
crying from the extreme pain his tiny body was made to endure while still
trying to get to his feet. After several tries he gave up and slumped back down
on his side breathing heavily. He looked up at me with eyes seared red full of
pure hatred and regret. But his regret wasn’t about his inevitable death this
evening but that I wasn’t in his place and he in mine. And when he opened his
mouth to speak he made that perfectly clear to me.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you
were a child. I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you crying?” the boy
snapped at me.

I hadn’t notice I was crying,
kneeling next to him. But a quick wipe across my face with my hands revealed
tears.

“You shouldn’t be crying, you
should be smiling. You defeated your enemy!”

I couldn’t believe how cold
and hateful this little boy was.

“If I were in your shoes I
would piss on your dead carcass!”

His hatred was shocking to me
for such a young boy. He should be in bed, or playing with toys, not here
dying. What would force a child into this life?

“Why do you hate me so much?
I’ve never done anything to you.”

“How could you say that?” he
screamed before coughing from the pain and strain of trying to project his
voice out of his dying body. “You took everything from me!”

“No, I didn’t! I don’t even
know you. I’ve never met you in my life.”

“No, you haven’t, but you knew
my father Telal! The man you knew as Jason. He was my dad and you killed him!
You took the only parent I had left. The Baraqu already killed my mother years
ago and my dad was all I had. And now another Baraqu killed him! I had nothing
left but revenge and I failed to honor his memory by sending you to hell, you
murderer. I hate you! Curse you and your family, I hope you all die horrible
deaths at the hands of my brothers!”

The words that came out of his
mouth pierced my very soul and sent chills through my body. Here, lying in a
corner, dying, was the son of the man that had made a serious attempt on our
lives. Not once during all this confusion and confrontation did it ever dawn on
me that maybe Jason had a family of his own. I just assumed men so evil were
incapable of love, so developing a relationship to the point of bearing
children seemed farfetched. But making incorrect assumptions had become a bad
habit of mine and the proof of my ignorance lay dying in front of me. He was
angry, hurt, and alone and the only option that was left for him was revenge
and murder.

He possessed an extreme amount
power for his age, which more than likely was an inheritance passed down from
his father but he lacked proper training. Even though he had almost destroyed
this house he was acting on rage alone. This revelation also shed light on what
he was possibly doing prior to losing his father. Before the death of his
father he was a kid and proud of his father and by the rage I saw in his dying
eyes his father loved him in return. Even though the actions of his father led
him down the path of destruction, I still felt deep remorse for taking his
life. Were my actions to protect my family just? Yes, they were; but like
Jaffrey taught me, every action—good or bad—warrants a response or reaction
from the universe and before me was my answer from the universe.

I should have felt anger and
hatred towards this boy who had attempted to extinguish the lives of the ones I
loved. I should have taunted him about how his father died screaming from the
pain of being burnt just like him. I should have told him the truth about who
his father really was and he deserved death at the hands of the Baraqu. I
should have done all these things and more, but to my surprise I felt deep
sorrow and remorse for what I had done to this boy. He belonged to his father
and his father to him and my actions had severed that connection forever.

As he lay there gasping for
air, trying to hang on to the little life he had left in his body, I placed my
hand on his head. At that moment his eyes met mine and I could see the fear of
death in them. He was going into the unknown and the fear of the darkness was
gripping him. It was then I understood that no matter how fearless or evil a
person can be in life, at the moment when death takes hold of them, leading
them into the darkness, all the emotional and physical cloaks we use are
removed and death strips us bare before taking us forever. I wanted to know his
name, how old he really was, but that would  be a waste of the precious time he
had left. So I remained silent and kneeled by his side until the end came.

It is a devastating experience
to watch the life leave someone’s eyes, and knowing you were the cause of it
makes it worse. Stories of war and conquest always describe vanquishing one’s
enemies as a glorious moment meant to be celebrated and honored. These are all
lies, the deception perpetuated by evil men to lead us to believe that taking
life is okay and a part of the so-called circle of life. Man was not meant to
take life, only to care for it and keep it safe. But we have become experts of
deception and destruction and the first time you take anyone’s life it changes
you forever. Taking Jason’s life made me cold, taking the Shadows’ lives here
in my grandparents’ house made me hateful. But taking Jason’s son’s life made
me ashamed. I felt like whatever supreme consciousness that ruled this universe
watching this scene unfold had decided to turn its gaze and grace from me. I
felt dark and naked in this world; a young man without protection or favor. A
killer of children. I felt that there would be nothing good that would come
from this moment of victory. I had seriously considered joining the order of
the Baraqu and the resistance but after this battle I knew I didn’t have the
stomach for it. To some it may seem like a casualty of war but there is nothing
casual about a dead child driven to violence and hatred by the actions of
someone else.

I cursed Jason and the Shadows
for creating an environment that would drive such a young boy to the arms of
death and inside I cursed myself for not having the power to change the outcome
for this lost child. We possessed all this power but what was it good for if we
couldn’t prevent children from finding themselves in adult situations? What was
the point of it all? At that time I was also a child, much older than this boy
but still very much a child and I was thrust into combat, trained to be a most
efficient and terrible killer. I was a walking, breathing weapon of mass
destruction with no real purpose and no solid road map for what I was to do and
be with all this power.

I began to truly understand
how the Shadows could have found themselves lost and slaves to their own
addiction to pain and suffering. The thrill of causing mayhem on this planet
for the surge of negative energy that made them feel powerful and godlike. I
also felt a similar surge of energy every time I used my powers and that night
I was in a zone. Never thinking twice about my actions and how I dispatched
each Shadow viciously and without remorse. I was acting on pure emotion and my conscious
wasn’t acting as an inhibitor. And because of that I was kneeling next to a
dying young boy. His loss drove his only son to attempt murder resulting in his
own demise. Jaffrey told me that it had been centuries since the Shadows had
come up against a worthy adversary that could dispatch multiple Shadows within
minutes. Tonight they met their match and instead of a victory lap I was
kneeling there weeping for my enemy.

There was no way I could see
myself carrying out these kinds of attacks on a regular basis and maintain what
sanity I had left. As I kneeled there I vowed that the way of the Baraqu would
never be my way and I would find a better way to use my gift to help others.
Killing wasn’t for me, but somehow I knew that because of what I was I would be
forced to make this kind of decision again to protect those I loved. It was a
hard reality for a seventeen-year-old to accept. My presence was known and
somehow I felt Jaffrey’s hesitation to let me leave was to protect me from the
reality I currently faced. He knew I didn’t have the stomach for this yet. He
knew that on this night I would face a greater enemy than any I would ever face
from the Shadows. Regret….

A
fter
several weeks, we were all preparing to return to Deerfield. Our home had been
completely repaired and whatever security my brother was providing for us was
in place and this time he promised that they were competent.

The jury is still out on that.

We were assured that we would
never know they were there but someone would always be watching over us. As
promised, I returned to Jaffrey’s place to continue my training.

I still wasn’t comfortable
letting him know about my little traveling secret. He never talked about that
ability in my training, which led me to believe it wasn’t something that Baraqu
normally did. I also kept to myself the fact that the warlock was unable to
bind me that night at my grandparents’ house. I knew that Jaffrey was the best
source for explaining these powers but I still found it hard to trust him
completely so I remained silent on those details. Again I needed to be
blindfolded and even though I knew exactly where his place was, I played along.
This time I was aware and awake for the blindfolding and I didn’t put up a
fight; well, besides sucker- punching Manny in the jaw and knocking him clean
across the room. I must admit it felt good being back in Jaffrey’s company and
we concentrated on training and not once did he try to bring up that night at
my grandparents’ house. I knew he knew everything that transpired, including
Jason’s son but he knew that bringing it up would hinder him from training me
effectively.

I had one week left and
instead of using it to train I decided to use that final week to spend time
with my family. This ordeal had brought all of us closer, but none as close as
the connection between Sarah and me. Gone were the days of bickering and
arguing over stupid things. She depended on me and I was protective of her. She
looked up to me and confided in me her abilities that she inherited the night
after fighting with Jasmine. She made me promise not to tell anyone, not even
Jaffrey and I kept that promise. I tried my best to explain to her what she was
seeing from what I’d learned from Jaffrey. Jaffrey explained that those that
carried the blood of the Baraqu but not the power to control time and space
would sometimes possess special abilities. Most of them were physical
abilities, like  extra ordinary strength, agility, intelligence, and heightened
senses.

Then there were some that
possessed abilities that were beyond the physical. Mind reading, telekinesis,
and the ability to see into other realms were some of the abilities they would
possess. Some would be extreme, like my sister’s for example. She possessed the
ability to see people’s true self or what we normally call a soul. Depending on
the person’s actions and personality, their soul or soul signature would appear
to be a beautiful and docile creature or a hideous deformity. As people 
continue doing good or evil things, their soul signatures change and mutate,
mimicking their day-to-day actions and thoughts. Sarah not only could see them,
she could communicate with them and they with her. It was a very powerful
ability that could allow her to control people’s actions by controlling how their
soul behaves.

It was beyond mind control
because eventually that would wear off. If Sarah decided to tell someone’s soul
signature to cause the flesh to kill itself, then that person will try and keep
trying to kill themselves until they succeed. No matter how many times you try
and stop this person they won’t stop until they have done what their souls are
commanding them to do. Normally, due to free will, the soul will follow what
the person is doing. The soul will make suggestions as to what to do or not,
but it will never attempt to stop the person. We referred to it as the little
angels or devils on our shoulders or what religious people call their “God
mind.” What Sarah’s ability did was remove free will from the equation and allow
the soul to take full control and if she gave it commands the soul would
command the person to carry out Sarah’s orders. No one, not even a Baraqu, was
immune to her powers; if it had a soul, she could control it.