Wanderlust (27 page)

I crawled into bed that night feeling altogether too lonely and way too sorry for myself. I had pushed away the only man I knew would ever matter to me, and now I had pushed away the only man I had considered in his place to offer me a normal life. On the one hand, I was happy that Eli would no longer be waiting around for me to change my mind about my feelings for him. On the other hand, he had become my fallback crutch. Guilt overwhelmed me. How could I have done that to either one of them?

It had been a long day, and I slipped into a deep slumber the moment my head hit the pillow. For our stay in Rome, Addie had treated us to a three-bedroom, five-star suite. At first, I wondered about the sleeping arrangements--who would get the rooms, and who would take the hide-a-bed? Now I knew that I need not have wasted precious brain power on that one. While Eli had started out on the sofa the night before, I highly doubted he had stayed there long. I felt like such a fool for not tuning in earlier.

For the first time in nearly two weeks, I allowed my mind to willingly drift to thoughts of
him
. Of course, I had been thinking about him on some level the entire time, but in a restrained way--a way that forced me to weigh pros and cons, highs and lows. Tonight was different, I let my thoughts wander to any part of him…us…that it wanted to. I couldn’t deny it any longer.

My dream mirrored every young girl’s dream of a perfect night. Hand-in-hand we walked through cobbled Parisian streets, wishing upon stars and talking about our future.
Our
future…together. When a street peddler approached with a rose, Chaseyn bought the man’s entire bouquet, pressing a kiss to the top of my head as handed it to me. As we crossed the Pont des Arts Bridge, Chaseyn pulled a tiny silver lock from his pocket, and together, we clasped it around one of the links. Then, he pulled a second, smaller silver lock from his other pocket. It was strung on a silver chain, and as he fastened it around my neck, he explained that the lock signified his heart and that only I held the key to unlock it.

“Chaseyn,” I murmured aloud, stirring in my sleep.

“Cordelia?”

The quiet whisper sounded like thunder in my head. I bolted upright into a sitting position on the bed, a brisk chill filling the room like a cold storm on a winter’s night. I was tempted to pull the blankets tighter around me, but I knew the sensation all too well. A wicked energy coursed through my veins. I tossed the blankets aside and crawled to the end of the bed.

“Where are you?” I whispered--uncertain if I was more concerned about waking the others or about the possibility that I was talking to no one. But, it seemed so real that he was here. In Rome. In my room. This was no dream. I was certain. “You’re here. I can feel you.”

“Are you sure you want to see me, Cordelia? I would understand if you didn’t after all that’s happened--after all those horrible things I told you,” Chaseyn whispered as he stepped out of the shadows. How long had he been standing there? How long had he been here, in this city?

“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my entire life,” I whispered through my tears of happiness.

Before he could take a step, I had flung myself through the air, wrapping my legs around his waist and pressing wild, passionate kisses all over his face, neck, and lips. In seconds, I had unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it back off his shoulders, exposing his muscled pecks and rock-hard abs. His hands were all over me, caressing gently but with a hunger that could not be denied.

“Oh, Chaseyn,” I moaned against his lips. The need feeding his kisses was no match for my own. “Don’t ever leave me again. No matter what I say or how much I try to push you away, promise you won’t leave.”

I didn’t wait for him to respond before pulling him down on the bed beside me. He came willingly, kissing me with a fierce passion as he curled his body against my own. It was such a sweet reunion.

Chaseyn pulled the blankets around us, and it was like we were cocooned in a way that sheltered us from the world outside. It was just us. The two of us. And nothing else mattered. I closed my eyes and thanked the fates--whatever they may be--for making my wish come true. I knew exactly what I wanted, and he was here with me now. I wouldn’t waste another minute thinking about what should have been. In the darkness, my hands shook nervously as I ran them down his chest to the waistline of his jeans. I fumbled for a minute with the belt buckle, while he moaned with satisfaction. I was in the process of loosening the button, when I felt Chaseyn trembling in my arms.

“Are you crying?” I asked incredulously, pulling back from his embrace. “Am I doing something wrong? Oh, god, you don’t want this, do you. I’m so embarrassed. I just assumed.”

“Never, ever think that way. I want you with every fiber of my being--with all that I am,” he said through quiet sobs. “But, I’m so terrified of disappointing you.”

“How? I’m the one who should be terrified. I’ve never done this before. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“Your being ridiculous. After all of those terrible things I told you about my past. After what I said about you. I don’t know how you could ever forgive me.?

“Me? Forgive you? How can you forgive me? I’ve been so selfish and stupid. You’re everything to me, and I will never let anything come between us again.”

I pulled him close and held him there for a long time. Finally, we could no longer contain our passion, and our hands and lips began exploring every inch of each other’s bodies. Once again, I reached for the button on his jeans. This was it. I was ready to give my self to him. My whole self.

“Stop,” he murmured into my lips, gently moving my hand away.

“But, I thought you said you wanted this,” I said, feeling utterly dejected.

“I do,” he said, his chest heaving in time to my own. I was fairly certain we had fogged up the windows with the heavy breathing we’d been doing. “You have no idea how hard this is for me to say, but this isn’t the right time. Not here and now with the others within earshot. You deserve better than this for your first time.
We
deserve better that this for
our
first time. I’ve waited a very long time to be with you. I can wait a while longer.”

“I’m not sure I can,” I said, flipping flat onto my back.

He was right. We needed to wait. The last thing I wanted to do was rush this for the sake of satisfying my teenage hormones. Instead, I lay my head on his chest and listened to the beat of his heart. Eventually, falling asleep in the safety of his strong, but cold, arms.

***

“You’ve got to go,” I said, jumping up from Chaseyn’s firm, but gentle embrace. I could see signs of sunlight through the shades. I glanced quickly at the clock, and the numbers 7:37 a.m. blinked angrily at me. I pushed up on my elbows, forcing Chaseyn to move aside.

“What? Why?”

“They can’t know you’re here,” I pleaded. “I don’t want them to know that I caved three days before the end of the trip.”

Chaseyn smiled in a way that reached his ears, and I could see a mischievous look burning in his eyes. He wasn’t going to make this easy. As if to confirm my speculation, he leaned in and pressed his mouth hungrily against my own.

“I don’t think I can wait three more days to see you again,” he murmured against my mouth, nipping at my bottom lip and releasing a lustful moan.

“Before I go, I have something for you,” Chaseyn said sheepishly.

He slipped his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. Excitement and anxiety ripped through me as he placed it in the palm of my hand. I looked at him quizzically.

“Go ahead,” he urged. “Open it.”

The lid quietly creaked as I slowly pulled it back. Inside was the Red Riding Hood necklace I had so desperately coveted on our first day in London. I gasped in surprise and threw my arms around him.

“But, how did you know?”

“I have my ways,” he said coyly.

Part of me wanted to be angry that he had clearly gone against my wishes to stay away, but another part couldn’t believe he had been nearby. I hadn’t felt his telltale chill until tonight, and my dreams had been anything but sweet for weeks. Still, there was no other explanation for how he knew about the necklace.

“Before you get upset, it wasn’t anything like you’re thinking,” he reassured. “I asked Eli to check in with me every few days, and he happened to mention it. He said it was in a shop across from the Mermaid’s Tail. I stopped by when I arrived in London yesterday before my flight to Rome. I knew the moment I stepped foot through the door of the shop which one was right for you.”

“I love it,” I said enthusiastically, before bowing my head. Looking up through my lashes, I decided to bare my soul. “And, I love you.”

If I thought getting Chaseyn to leave had been difficult before, it was twice the challenge after I revealed my feelings. He came at me with such force that it was all I could do to keep from stumbling. Wrapping one arm around my waist and tangling the other in my messy hair, slowly, he forced me to take small steps backward until I could feel the footboard against the back of my knees. Removing his arm from my waist, he reached out to brace himself from landing his full weight on me as well fell back onto the bed.

For a brief moment, I gained control, rolling over so that I was in a sitting position with my legs straddling his waist. A split second passed before he took over, flipping me on my back and bracing my arms over my head. He stayed like that a long while, his eyes scanning my body from head to toe before he finally relented.

“I love you so much, Cordelia,” he said in a husky voice.

Chaseyn smothered me with one last round of kisses before springing to his feet and walking briskly to the window--the door was too risky this late in the morning. The others would be stirring soon, and any unexpected sound would certainly wake them from their slumber. He blew me one last kiss before stepping past the curtains and beyond my sightline.

I missed him already.

Chapter 33 - A New Day

“I can’t believe you guys missed out on Rome,” I said to Addie and Eli as we hoisted our bags into the back of a taxi. It was too far to walk to the train station from our hotel.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say we missed out,” Addie giggled, as she planted a quick peck on Eli’s cheek.

“Ick,” I said flatly. I was jealous. After the incredible night I had spent with Chaseyn, the last thing I wanted to do was watch these two lovesick puppies make googly eyes at each other for the rest of the trip. I wanted to make googly eyes at Chaseyn. Still, I was on a bit of a high from the adrenaline rush of seeing him again. Not to mention the knowledge that we were going to work things out. No matter what.

Chip grabbed my arm and pulled me into the seat next to her while the lovebirds sat arm-in-arm looking into each other’s eyes and giggling for the entire 10-minute ride. At one point, Chip put her arm around me and we shared a good laugh at their expense. Our relationship had come a long way these past few days, and I was glad for it.

When we got on the train that would take us to Prague via an overnight stay in Austria, there were so many open seats that we decided to split up for a while. We had spent a lot of time together the past few weeks, and it was nice to have some peace and quiet for a few hours. In the case of Addie and Eli, they spent the time making a very public display of affection. I’d have been nauseated if I hadn’t been suddenly overcome by an overwhelming feeling of joy at seeing two people I cared about so deeply happy with one another.

Me. I read a book. A sappy romance about a high school girl who falls in love with a vampire. It was kind of funny. Life imitating art, and all that. About a half hour before the train rolled into the station, Addie plopped down on the seat next to me.

“Of course I do. We’ll work through this, Addie. We always do,” I said, resting my head on top of hers. We rode the rest of the way like that.

***

By the time we arrived in Vienna, it was early evening, and we were downright dead to the world. Some of us more than others. Knowing we had so little time in the city, I was reluctant to call it an early night, but I knew it was for the best.

“We leave at 6:14 p.m. tomorrow, so if we go to bed early tonight and get up at the crack of dawn, we’ll be able to see at least a few of the sights before then,” Addie said as we lugged our bags up to our room.

I had insisted on staying at one of the budget places near the station, and it didn’t have a lift. Addie and Chip had been footing the bill since the Paris fiasco, and I was feeling a tad guilty about mooching off them. For once, I wanted to pay my own way. In fact, I paid for two rooms--one for me and Chip, the other for Addie and Eli. It was more for my sanity than their privacy.

“I know Vienna pretty well, so I’ll make sure you and Eli see all you need to feel like you’ve had the grand tour,” Chip said.

“Hmmm…what was that? Did I hear my name?” Eli asked, tearing himself away from Addie’s neck, where he had been planting kisses incessantly since we had stopped in the hallway outside our rooms to make plans for the morning.

“Never mind, Eli. We’ve got it under control,” Addie said, petting his head gently as she spoke.

“Chip and I will come up with a plan. Meet us here at 8 a.m. on the nose,” I said, pushing open the door to my room and waving farewell for the night. “Have a good night you two.”