Wanted (Addicted Trilogy Book 3) (11 page)

“Yeah, what might that be? What possible reason could you have
had to cut my heart out and stomp all over it?” Anger gripped my insides,
threatening to explode all over him if he didn’t end our little conversation
soon.
 

Having the decency to know I was ready to erupt, he looked away
quickly before catching my eye again. “Do you think we can go somewhere and
talk? If you give me a chance, I can explain everything.” When he saw the blank
look on my face, he faltered. But it didn’t last long before he was back at it.
“I’m so sorry,” he said, reaching out to touch my hand. “If you just give me
the chance to explain, I can make it all right.”

Instant flashbacks bombarded me. I was in the same exact
predicament with him before when he was begging for a chance to explain why I’d
found a file full of pictures of me in his possession. “Boy, isn’t this déjà
vu?” I chided, a disgusted look contorting my face.

He at least had the decency to look embarrassed, knowing full
well he was always asking a lot from me, putting me through the emotional wringer.

“I know…I know. But please, I need you to trust me.”

I’d had enough, and if I didn’t tell him exactly what I thought
of him, I was going to end up taking out my anger on everyone else besides the
person who deserved it.

“Trust you?” I bellowed. “Why the
fuck
would I ever trust you again? You can rot in Hell for all I
care. The hate I have for you helps me sleep at night.” Somewhere along the
way, my hands had clenched into tight balls, my fingernails digging into the flesh
of my palms in order to keep from ripping his face off. “How about you, Alek? How
do you sleep at night knowing you messed up the best thing to ever happen to
you?”

I was lying. I didn’t hate him. I loved him, but I would never utter
the words. I would not play the victim and let him see how much he hurt
me.
 
No, I wouldn’t give him the
satisfaction. I cried in front of him once when he broke my heart, on the steps
of his home three months back. I wouldn’t do it again. Anger was my new best
friend, and I was going to lean on it to help me through my encounter with him.

Not knowing what else to do, he crushed the distance between us,
all the while whispering, “I’m so sorry, baby.” I knew if I ever allowed him to
touch me, I would be in big trouble. I talked a good game, but I was a mess on
the inside. And like a predator, he knew it. For every step he took toward me,
I took one back, until eventually my body was pressed against a car parked on
the sidewalk.
 

Great! I’m trapped.

He placed an arm on either side of me, resting his hands on the
hood of the vehicle, effectively caging me in. He was so close to me, his warm
breath fanned across my heated face. I’d cried too many tears over Alek only to
be undone with one of his soul-searching stares.

“Baby,” he pleaded, his eyes offering up his sincerest apologies.

Don’t look at him.
Averting
my eyes, I glanced everywhere but at the man in front of me. But there came a
point when I could no longer ignore him. When my eyes locked back on his,
something happened. Something I was trying to avoid but was powerless to stop. The
way he looked at me washed away the past months without him. My entire world
ceased to exist, ultimately leaving me defenseless against him. He was my drug,
and I hadn’t realized how much I was itching for a fix until he was so daringly
close to me.

Without warning, he leaned in as if he was going to kiss me. My
body was rigid, my mind warring between allowing him to consume me and slapping
him across the face. Thankfully, neither of those scenarios happened. As he was
effectively pinning me against the car, a thought raced through my head. Yes, I
still loved him, but did I believe he still loved me? How could someone dismiss
another from their life so easily if they were, in fact, in love?
It’s not possible.
No, he still
desired
me; that much was true. But
love
? He didn’t love me. And once the acknowledgment
sank in, I found the strength I needed to push him away from me.

Once my hands found their way to his chest, he looked like he’d been
shocked.
 
A shudder vibrated through his
body as his breath caught in his throat. I found my opportunity, pushed him
back a step and escaped his emotionally torturous imprisonment. “I won’t do
this to myself again, Alek,” I yelled over my shoulder as I rushed toward
Alexa.
 

 
“Sara, please. I promise
I’ll make it up to you. I’m sorry!” he shouted as the distance separated us
from each other.
 

I made sure not to make eye contact with him as we passed in the
car. He was still standing on the sidewalk, but I wouldn’t allow any more
vulnerability to corrupt me.

My body ached for his touch.

But my brain told me I did the right thing. Breaking away from
him was the only way the rest of my fragile heart could heal.

Finally.

Sara

 
“I don’t want to talk
about it, Lex. Please…let it go. I know you’re worried about me, but it’s
better if I work on forgetting.” I was trying to busy myself with folding my laundry,
but she was making it near impossible, standing in my bedroom in full-on
interrogation mode.

“Sara, it’s been a week since you saw him and you haven’t said a
single thing about it. I’m thankful you’re not sitting here crying over him, but
it’s kind of freaking me out you don’t want to say anything at all about what
happened. Don’t you need some kind of closure or something?”

“That
was
my closure. It
was my final goodbye to the man who both saved and destroyed me. He made me
feel again after so long, but he also tore my heart out after he had his fill,
tossing me aside once he had no more use for me.” My mind instantly reverted
back to the night I showed up at his house and caught him with
her
.

“Well, I’m here if you need me,” she offered, picking up one of
my shirts, making a face and tossing it back on my bed. Good ol’ Lex. She made
me laugh right then, and it was something I definitely needed.

I walked toward my dresser to put some of my clothes away. Reaching
for her hand, I drew her close to me and gave her a big hug. “Thanks for
worrying about me. Love you.”

“Love you, too, girl.” She walked across the room and was awkwardly
quiet. At first, I wasn’t paying much attention to her but when she simply
stood there staring at me, it became a little weird.

“Are you okay? Did you want to talk about something else?” I
prodded before heading into my closet to hang some of my shirts.

“Remember you love me,” she teased.

Oh, Lord.

“What did you do?” Before I let her answer, I spouted, “You
better not have been in contact with him, or so help me, God, Alexa
Bearnheart.”

“Who are you talking about?”

“Alek,” I gritted through clenched teeth.

There was no hesitation on her part. “Fuck no. I learned my
lesson the last time. I told you I would always take your side, no matter what.
Fool me once…” she chanted.

“Then what is it you have to tell me?”

“Um…nothing big. Just…uh…” She stumbled over her words, which was
so unlike her.

“Spit it out, Lex.”

And spit it out she did, all in one quick breath. “Braden is bringing
a colleague of his to the restaurant opening on Saturday night.”

“What?” It took me a minute to try and figure out why she would
be so nervous, and then it dawned on me. “I hope you guys are not setting me up
on a blind date.” When she averted her eyes, looking anywhere and everywhere
but at my stunned face, I knew it was true. Sure, I admitted closing the
Alek
chapter of my life, but I was in no
way ready to date anyone else. Not for a very long time to come.

When she still didn’t speak, I made sure to crowd her personal
space, forcing her to give me an answer. “Is it a blind date, Alexa?”

“Yes.” One simple word, but one I didn’t want to hear.

“Does this guy know it’s a blind date?”

“Well…sort of. Hell, I don’t know. I don’t know what Braden told him
exactly. But I’m sure he hinted at it, Sara.”

“Well, I’m not going now, so you can forget about it.” I stalked
away from her and into the bathroom. It was late and I needed to take a shower
before bed.

“You
are
going because
I’m not allowing you to chicken out.” When she sensed her words were falling on
deaf ears, she followed me into the bathroom and was the one crowding my
personal space in return.
 
“You listen
here. I love you as if you were my own sister, but I’ve listened to you cry for
three months over that asshole. I’ve been your shoulder to lean on, talked you
down from your bouts of hysteria, and have been there for you in every other
way possible. Even force-feeding you so you didn’t starve to death. I was happy
to do it. All of it. But right now, you have an opportunity to start living
again and meet some new people, and damn it, you’re going to do it. You don’t
have to marry the guy, you don’t even have to sleep with him, but you
will
put on your big-girl panties and enjoy
one night out with friends. See where the night takes you.” She stunned me
speechless. “Do you understand me?” she demanded.

How could I argue with anything she’d said? I couldn’t, so I gave
in. “Fine.”

“Good. Now, is there anything else you want to talk about?” She laughed,
knowing she’d essentially trapped me into a night of forced fun.

“Nope, I think you about covered it.” I quickly learned it was
best not to fight her. She’d made some really good points, and because she was
such a great friend, I decided to go along with her plans. Humor her.
Who knows? Maybe I’ll actually end up having
a good time for once.

Alek

Drunk.

I was drunk yet again.

It seemed the only thing I was good at following through with
recently was downing large amounts of alcohol. As I lay on the couch, I
couldn’t help but think back to the previous week. Apparently, I loved to
torture myself.

It’d been seven long days since my planned encounter with Sara. She
looked beautiful, of course, but her distress enveloped her, making her look
tired. Weight loss was the first thing I noticed. She was too thin, obviously
the result of her not eating. When I was close enough, I saw the dark circles
hovering under her eyes. She did her best to cover them up, but it didn’t
really work.

My heart leapt when she finally made eye contact with me. I lost
my breath for a few seconds. No matter how much time went by, it would do
nothing to squelch the sizzling desire which passed between us whenever we were
close. I knew my presence was going to affect her. Hell, it affected me more
than I ever wanted to admit. But I had to see her. I was going out of my mind
not being able to talk to her. I wanted to beg for forgiveness so many times
but never found my opportunity until that night.

I knew I was a dick for trapping her the way I did, but she
wouldn’t listen to me otherwise. Seeing the anger in her eyes was a good thing;
it meant she still had some sort of feeling toward me. When I leaned into her,
I thought I caught a glimpse of desire there as well, but I didn’t have enough
time to find out before she started yelling at me. I wouldn’t lie and say her
words didn’t hurt me, but I deserved all she had to give and then some. Wanting
nothing more than to tame her rage with a kiss, I knew better than to push her too
far.

Winning her back again was going to be my biggest feat. I wasn’t
sure if she would even give me a third chance, because that was exactly what it
was.

My
third
chance.

I tried my hardest not to think about it, but I couldn’t forget
the way that asshole claimed Sara…right in front of me.
 
Who the hell did he think he was, touching
her so intimately, clearly showing his sign of possession? I knew what he was
doing because I’d exhibited the same behavior when she was mine. I knew it was
Neanderthal-like but I was letting every other man in the room know she was
taken.

She was mine.
 

Except she wasn’t mine anymore.

I was forced from my thoughts when the sound of my phone cut
through the air. My hand dangled over the couch, desperately trying to search
for the damn thing. Once I’d found it, I did my best to see who was calling,
but my vision was blurry.
Fuck it! I’ll
answer it blind.

“Hello,” I slurred down the line.

“What the fuck, man? You missed our meeting. Again,” Kael berated
on the other end. I heard him huffing into the phone. What? Did he miraculously
think I would get my shit together simply because he was annoyed with me? “You’ve
haven’t been yourself ever since you made that stupid, self-sacrificing choice.”
He remained quiet, clearly trying to give me some time to react. I chose not to
respond. “I told you not to do it, Alek. I told you not to make any rash
decisions, to think about it before you decided to cut her out of your life.”

“I
did
think about it!”
I finally yelled in response. “It’s all I fucking thought about, drunk and
sober, night and day. It was the best choice for her. At the time.”

“Yeah. You keep telling yourself that. Keep trying to convince
yourself what you did was the best thing for her.” Kael was obviously pissed
off at me. He knew I was hurting, trying to assuage my pain with alcohol. Which
was exactly why I missed yet another one of our meetings.

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Kael. She won’t even
talk to me. I’ve tried, but she hates me.” I blew out a drunken breath of air.
“She hates me, Kael. What am I going to do?”

“Wait. When did you try to talk to her?”

“Last week, but some asshole had his hands all over my woman. He
didn’t want her to talk to me, but I fooled him. I made him disappear so I
could pin her against the car.” The scene played out in my head, but the words
spewing from my mouth made everything sound weird.

“Jesus Christ, Alek. Did you attack her? So help me, if you
harmed her in any way, I’ll kick your ass myself.” He was seething, his anger
palpable even through the phone.

“How could you think I would ever do that?” Even drunk, I was
offended he thought so little of me. But then again, I’d been drunk for the
majority of the past three months, so it seemed he had cause to worry. “I love
her, Kael. I love her so much,” I cried into the phone. If I knew anything
about my good friend, I knew he was shaking his head at me.

“Listen. Here is what you’re going to do. And so help me, if you
don’t, I’m coming over there and we’re going to have it out.”

“You can’t take me,” I teased, a smile on my drunken face because
I knew he was being funny.

“Yes, I can, especially since you’d probably be in one of your
stupors.”

“Whatever. What do you want me to do?” Grasping the back of my
neck, I pulled at the tight muscles, throwing my head back to try and relieve
some of the pain. My little movement almost caused me to fall over.

“I need you to sober up. I had to delay the designer again and
she didn’t seem too pleased, muttering something about other jobs and shit. I
can’t move it again. If we want this place up and running by the projected
date, you have to get your priorities straight and put down the damn bottle.”

I pulled the phone away from my ear because all of a sudden, he
was yelling. Or had he been doing that the entire time? “I know. I got it. I
heard you.”

“Good. Now, what time are you swinging by my office today? We
still have to go over a couple more items before we can even give her the green
light to start.”

“I’ll be by around two.” I was so done with our conversation. If
I heard one more of Kael’s lectures, I was going to lose it.

After hanging up the phone, I stumbled over to the desk, put the
lid back on my new best friend Jack and headed upstairs to clean up.

~~~~

I arrived at Kael’s office with five minutes to spare. I felt
like shit and was sure I looked like it, too. If given the opportunity, I was
sure my dear friend would be the first to point it out to me as well, trying to
solidify his point about how out of control I’d become.

His office door swung open and I was surprised to see Adara
sauntering my way, a satisfied smile spread wide across her beautiful face. When
her eyes met mine, her smile faltered for a brief moment. Still walking toward
me, she opened her arms without hesitation and I walked right into them. It was
nice to feel a woman’s touch again, although her embrace was in no way sexual, simply
comforting.

“Oh, Alek, honey.” She kissed my cheek and hugged me tighter. “How
are you?”

“I’m fine.” When my simple statement did nothing to satiate her,
I tried to lie to her again. “Really.”

“Uh-huh,” she appeased. “You have to come over to the house. We
would love to have you.” We were still wrapped up in our embrace when her
husband strode out from his office, stopping for a split-second when he saw us.
I knew he trusted me a thousand percent, but the sight of another man touching
his wife was enough for him to still become a little riled. I didn’t blame him,
either. I would have reacted the same exact way if he was touching Sara, even
though she wasn’t mine any longer.

“All right, all right. Enough groping my wife, Devera. Hands
off.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He’d broken out the tough love
bit with me earlier, so as payback I decided to have a little fun with him.

I grabbed Adara, pressing my hands to the small of her back, and
drew her closer to me. None of our intimate areas were touching, but he got the
message. “I’m only too happy to accept the kind of comforting your wife is
willing to give me,” I taunted. I saw the look of irritation flicker in his
eyes, but I kept going. Plus, Adara was chuckling the whole time I incessantly teased
her husband. “Be a friend, Kael. I’m hurting here. I need this.” As I leaned
closer to whisper something in her ear, our hug was ripped apart.

“Not fucking funny, man.” He shot a disbelieving look at his wife,
but it did nothing to squash the laughter which emanated from her lips. “Maybe
if you weren’t such an asshole, you would have your own woman to molest.” I
knew he was trying to bait me, but I was too wrapped up in the teasing moment
to reflect fully on his words.

“All right already. Stop fighting over little ol’ me.” Adara laughed.
She reached up, cupped the side of Kael’s face and tenderly gazed at him. “I’ll
see you at home, honey.” Giving him a quick kiss, she turned around to walk
away but not before giving me a friendly wink over her shoulder. My friend sure
was one lucky son of a bitch.
 

If I waited for him to stop leering after his own wife, I’d be
there all day. Pushing past him, I walked into his office, grabbed a bottled
water from his fridge and plopped down on the couch.

We only had a limited amount of days left to hash out all the
details before our newest project was set to go.
So I’d better put my head on straight before Kael makes good on his
promise and tries to kick my ass.