Wanting It All (The Passion Series Book 1) (20 page)

“Rachel is almost three months pregnant.  Can you believe my sorry ass is going to be a father?  I’m probably going to have the poor kid screwed up before they can walk.” 

Derek’s face has lit up like a Christmas tree he’s so happy.  Lukus isn’t sure why, but the unexpected news hits him hard.  For the briefest of moments his stomach actually churns and he almost feels like he’s going to throw up.  He recovers enough to speak.  “Wow.  That’s some fucking surprise.  I didn’t even know you two were interested in starting a family.” 

That’s when it hits him.  He hadn’t been surprised at all when James and Mary settled down and started having kids.  Then he’d been knocked on his ass when Markus had turned in his Dom card to settle down in suburbia with Brianna and now he’s sure they’ll be popping out babies soon.  But not in a million years did he ever see Derek and Rachel ever having children.

Even though Derek and Rachel were married, they’ve always lived a 24/7 D/s relationship.  It’s not the kind of relationship that lends itself to raising kids and Lukus tries to imagine Rachel walking around their house naked like she usually does with only her collar, wrist and ankle cuffs as accessories. How’s that going to work when she has to care for a baby or even worse, years later when the kid is older?  Will Rachel still sit naked at Derek’s feet at the dinner table, her ass striped with belt marks from her last discipline session? 

‘It’s not going to work.  Rachel is going to change.  How can she not?  She just can’t be a good fulltime sub and a good mother at the same time.’

Of all his friends, Lukus had been sure Derek would never want to trade in his whip and spanking paddle for diapers and bottles, but clearly he’d been wrong.  An unwelcome and fresh wave of jealousy hits Lukus as he adds Derek to his list of close friends who are now lucky enough to have it all.  

“I’m truly happy for you, Derek,” Lukus finally says, and despite his jealousy he means it. “I can tell you’re excited and while I have my doubts about how your hard-ass detective and Dom skills are going to translate into fatherhood, I’m still very happy for you and Rachel.” 

“Thanks, man.  I’m not really sure about it myself, but I know it’s important to Rachel.  Her sisters all have a bunch of kids and while she was never too pushy about it, I knew before we got married she wasn’t going to be happy unless we had some too.  When I asked her what she wanted for her birthday she said all she really wanted was to go off the pill.”

“Well hell, her birthday was barely four months ago.”

Derek is grinning from ear to ear.  “I guess I have some good little swimmers.”

Lukus laughs at his friend.  “Well of course you do.  They must be Doms too.  They got in there and took control, although it probably doesn’t hurt that you two fuck like rabbits.  I’m not sure what to say other than congratulations man, really. Only then does Lukus remember where Rachel is right at the moment.  “I wonder if this means I need to change my planned punishment for the mother of your unborn child.  She really pissed me off today.”

“Rachel?  Not her too?  Where is she, anyway?”

“I already sent her down to the dungeon.  I told her to strip and drape herself over the spanking bench and wait for me there.”

“Oh, crap.  Don’t tell me she let Brianna see her.”

“Oh, I wish that was all.  When I got here, she was in there chatting up a storm with Brianna like they were long lost friends.  She even had the balls to untie Bri from the headboard.  Can you believe it?  It’s so unlike her.  I already sentenced her to a dozen lashes with the cane, but now that I know she’s pregnant I’ll let you handle this the way you think is best.  She can’t get away without some punishment though.”

“Fuck.  I’m so sorry man.  I never dreamed she’d disobey me so blatantly.  No.  You need to punish her.  I’ve already had this discussion with her.  She is and will always be my submissive.  Sure, once the kid comes we’ll have to make adjustments to what we do in public verses what we have to do in private, but it doesn’t matter.  She earned the cane and she knows this means she’ll be getting double that from me too.” 

Derek can see Lukus is uncertain if such a strict punishment is appropriate for a pregnant woman and he tries to put his mind at ease.  “I’ve been doing some research and really, we don’t have to worry too much about hurting the baby, at least not until the third trimester.  We’ve never been into the really dangerous shit anyway and we just need to watch her reaction more carefully and maybe break up big punishments into smaller chunks is all.”

“If you’re sure, man.  I’d still like to make sure you’re there with me just to keep an extra eye on her.  We need to keep her safe more now than ever.   Before we go down to take care of Rachel, I want to go over the idea that Markus and I came up with today.  We have a plan that’s hopefully going to get Brianna properly punished and home where she belongs tonight.”

“You must have gotten through to him after all then.”

“I think I did.  Markus really doesn’t want the plan carried out with a big audience though, and I honestly don’t blame him.  They have so much shit to work through and who knows how this is going to go.  I want to close the whole club down tonight.  Can we get the word out to all the members that we’ll be closed for one night?  I know it’s late notice.”

“That seems a bit extreme, not to mention expensive.  Saturday nights are our best nights, and we’re sure to really piss some Doms off with the late notice.  You sure you want to do this?”

Standing up, Lukus assures his friend.  “Yeah, I’m sure.  We owe it to Markus to handle this privately.  Let’s head down to the club office.  We can send out emails and texts to everyone.  I’ll explain the plan to you on the way since I’ll need your help for a bit of it.  I think you’re really going to like it.”

“I’m sure I will.  You’re punishment plans are always…
interesting
.  I feel a really big hard-on coming.”

“Welcome to my world.  I’ve been ready to fucking explode for the last twenty-four hours.  At least you have Rachel for stress-relief.  I’m going to keel over from blue balls if I don’t get laid soon.”

“I don’t feel too sorry for you, Lukus.  You could call a dozen subs in your contacts and eleven would be here pantiless within the hour.  If you aren’t getting any, it’s because you’re just getting too damn picky.”

Lukus doesn’t bother to answer his friend because he knows he’s right.  He could have a harem of subs here in no time.  Subs who would do anything and everything he asked of them.  They would behave like proper subs and follow directions to a T.  They wouldn’t talk back; they wouldn’t sass or argue.  They wouldn’t push him away or tell him he had to stop.  Yep, Derek is right.  He could get laid a dozen times by a dozen different women before midnight if he really wanted.  The problem is he doesn’t want that, not anymore.   He’s not sure exactly when, but somewhere along the way he’s started wanting something different, something more.

‘Yep… I’m still so fucked.’

“So let me get this straight. Lukus was at my house and Markus was there and they looked all chummy?”

Tiff is starting to lose her patience.  “Yes, Brianna. For the third time, yes. Lukus was just coming out of your house when I got there.”

“Tell me again.  What did Markus look like?  Did he look like he was going to forgive me?”

“Bri, I told you.  Markus was a total dick to me. He treated me like
I
was the one who had cheated on him.  He looked like complete shit.  I’ve never seen him look anything close to the way he looked today.  He had on crumpled clothes that had crap all spilled down the front.  He hadn’t showered or shaved.  His hair was all matted and messy.  And before you ask again… no… I didn’t see any other women there, because like I said, the men didn’t let me get past them into the house. I’m just here to tell you that I love Markus to death, but even I would’ve made him shower before I let him touch me looking and smelling like he did.  If he did have a woman there, she’d have to have been a total skank to want him like that.

“Oh, gee.  Thanks Tiff.  I feel so much better now.”  Bri’s sarcasm is coming through loud and clear.

“Any time.  What are friends for?”  Tiff is grinning from ear to ear.  She finally coaxes a smile out of Bri.  “I just can’t believe Markus is really a Dom and he used to belong to the punishment club.  Are you sure Lukus isn’t just trying to pull one over on you?”

“No, and really, the more I think about it, the less surprised I am.  You’ve seen him in the courtroom.  He’s all alpha-male, and I’ve never been able to figure out how he could just switch it off when he came home at night.  Seeing him and Lukus together last night and then finding out James is a Dom too… well, I just believe Markus can be a Dom like Lukus and James.  Rachel even confirmed it for me when she was here.  She knew Markus when he and Georgie used to come here.  I’m just so damn mad at him for hiding it from me.”

Tiff nods.  “You know.  Now that I think about it, watching the two men together today at your house and how easily they talked to each other, I guess I can believe it too.  If Markus is even half as good of a Dom as Lukus, I think you’re finally going to be getting the kind of marriage you’ve been wanting all of these years, Bri.”

“Well, that is if he can ever forgive me.  Let’s not forget he’s still trying to get me to sign the quickie divorce papers.  But I’m more opposed to signing than I was.  I’m never going to give up on getting him back when I know he can be everything I ever needed.”  Brianna thinks about what her friend had just said and then it hits her. “Wait… how exactly do you know how good of a Dom Lukus is?  Did you… I mean did he…?”

“What? Did we do it?  No way.  The damn brute actually grabbed me though, and held me immobile while he lectured me about how naughty it was to lie for you and then how I needed to be a good girl and just go home.  I should’ve slapped his face, but instead he somehow tricked me into saying ‘Yes, Sir’ and ‘No, Sir’ like I was one of his damn submissives.  He just caught me at a weak moment, but I’m ready for him now.  If he thinks he’s going order me around like a submissive, he has another thing coming.  I took that self-defense class.  I’ll kick him in the balls like my instructor taught me.”

“Yeah, right.  Good luck with that.” Brianna giggles at the mental image. “I’d pay to see you take down Lukus.” 

“I’m serious.  He’s in for a surprise if he thinks he’s going to keep manhandling me like he has so far.  I’ll call Jason and have him come down here to pick me up and if Lukus tries anything, I’ll have Jason take him out.”

Brianna can’t contain herself now and starts giggling harder, much to her best friend’s angst.   “Jason?  You think Jason could last thirty seconds against Lukus?  Seriously Tiff, I don’t know what you see in that guy.  He’s cute in a sort of feminine way, but you’ll get him killed if you call him down here to save you.  Every jury in the country would convict you as an accomplice for sending him to his certain death.”

“Stop being so mean.  You’re totally exaggerating.” 

Bri notices Tiffany isn’t arguing very strenuously.  Sometimes she thinks she knows her best friend better than Tiff knows herself.   She keeps staring at her, waiting patiently, until Tiff finally breaks down with the truth.  “Okay, okay.  So he’s a total wimp.  I truly think he spends more time and money on primping than I do, and that’s saying something.  Last weekend I asked him to help me hang that new artwork I got at that gallery opening you and I went to last month, and he actually refused to help saying he couldn’t use a hammer and didn’t want to mess up his recent manicure.  So he sat his ass on my couch and watched me hang it all by myself, and when I almost fell off the chair, he didn’t even come and help keep me steady. He just sat there and called me a klutz.  Who am I kidding?  I should have kicked him to the curb that very minute.”

“I rest my case.  The guy is a total dishrag.  I know Jake managed to scare the shit out of both of us, but Tiff… I know you’ll never really be happy with a guy like Jason.  You won’t admit it, but you want a dominant man, a strong, protective man like Lukus or Markus just as much as I do.”

“What, and you think I’d be better off with a Dom who bosses me around and expects me to be a mindless toy to play with?  You’ve read too many romance novels, Bri.  Men like that don’t exist outside of books. You keep wanting to have it all.  But we either get a Jason or a Jake and no offense, but I’ve seen enough of Jake to pass on that.”

“You’re wrong Tiff.  I refuse to believe that.  There are all different levels in between the extremes.  Markus isn’t like Jake or Jason.  He’s perfect.”

“Lucky you.  So you found the one-in-a-million.  The rest of us have to take one extreme or the other.”

“Oh really… and what about Lukus?  He isn’t like Jake or Jason either.  He’s perfect too.”

Tiffany scoffs at her friend.  “Perfect for who?  You’ve known the guy for less than twenty-four hours and if I heard you right, in those twenty-four hours he’s tied you up, whipped you, paddled you, plugged your ass, made you sleep in a cage and even forced you to have a punishment enema, for God’s sake.  Thanks, but no thanks.  I can pass on that, too.”

“Don’t forget he also made me come more times than I can count without even having sex with me.” Brianna lowers her voice to a conspiratorial whisper.  “Just think what he could do if he was really trying.” 

Bri sees she might have gone too far with that last comment as her friend’s face takes on a pink hue that could either be attributed to embarrassment or anger.  Bri isn’t entirely sure which before she continues on. 

“Listen, you’re just scared because you never crossed over from voyeur to player.  I know you Tiff.  You used to get just as turned on as I did when we’d go to the BDSM clubs and watch Doms do those exact things to other subs.  Admit it.  Lukus has to get your pulse racing.  He’s the perfect mix of strength, protectiveness and tenderness.  I’ve spent enough time with him and he may try to hide it, but he has a heart.  I think you’re a complete and total idiot if you don’t try to at least get to know him better.  Maybe he won’t turn out to be perfect, but just think of all of the fun you could have while you try to figure it out.”

“I’m more worried about how sore my ass would be while I tried to figure it out.” 

Brianna grins a playful grin. “I know.  Isn’t it great?  You could have so much fun being naughty and then getting spanked.  The best part is what comes after the spanking.”

“I truly worry about you, Bri.  You’re obsessed.  I can’t believe you.”  Tiffany is clearly not as comfortable talking about her sexual needs with her best friend as Bri is. Her face has gone from a blushing pink to an all out red.

“What?  Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. You actually have to come out from behind the book and live it for at least one day before you have the right to give me shit about knowing what I need.  Please… trust me, Tiff.”

“No offense, but you haven’t been doing the best in the men category lately so forgive me if I don’t rush to take your advice.  You have a husband who’s angry and ready to divorce you and an ex-boyfriend who’d love nothing more than to keep you tied up and beaten daily for the rest of what would be your very short life.”

“Ladies?”  Lukus’ deep voice coming from the door of the bedroom startles them.  The women literally flinch at the sound.  They both whip around just in time to catch his sexy smile. He’s leaning against the door jam with his arms crossed over his broad chest.

Brianna finds her voice first. “Lukus… how long have you been standing there?” 

Based on his smug smile, Bri is pretty sure he’s been standing there long enough to catch the bulk of their conversation.  Her friend looks like she wants to fall through the floor from embarrassment.

“Oh, not too terrible long,” he answers. “But long enough to agree with you Tiffany.  I’d think twice about listening to Brianna’s recommendations on men if I were you.  I’m sure your sweet ass would appreciate it.”

Tiffany let’s out a loud groan and lunges towards the head of Lukus’ bed, burying her face in his pillow and letting out a muffled scream.  Her embarrassed and rather childish reaction causes Lukus to actually burst out laughing, which only makes Tiffany scream into the pillow louder.  Brianna watches with a strange mix of guilt and amusement as her best friend has a mini-meltdown reminiscent of a scene from a seventh grade sleepover.”

Bri reaches out to rub her friend’s back while trying to calm her down. “Come on, Tiff.  You’re overreacting just a tad bit, don’t you think?”

Bri isn’t exactly sure of Tiffany’s answer since she’s still shouting into the pillow, but Bri thinks it sounded suspiciously like
fuck you Brianna.

Bri turns to Lukus and tries to take her frustration out on him.  “What are you doing here, Lukus?”

“Well, gee.  First, I
live
here so I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to come and go as I please.”

“Don’t be a jerk.  You know what I mean.  Can I go home now?  I really need to talk to Markus.”

Lukus’ expression immediately gets serious.  All traces of the humor he was sharing at Tiffany’s expense only seconds before are gone.

“Be very careful, sweetheart.  This is my only warning to watch your tone with me.  While I may have been more lenient than normal with you because you’re not a trained sub, don’t make the mistake of thinking that gives you carte blanche to act like a brat.  The next time you talk to me with that tone, I’ll have you over my knee so fast you won’t know what hit you.  And I assure you.  It will
not
be a pleasant experience that ends in a climax.  A punishment will never again end in an orgasm for you, at least not as long as I have anything to do with it.”

Brianna surprises even herself with her immediate, gut response to Lukus’ warning.  “I’m so sorry, Sir.  You’re right.  I was rude.”   Her obviously heartfelt response is reflexive.  She can see surprise register on Lukus’ face.

He takes a few seconds before acknowledging the obvious. “That’s a good girl.  We’ll get you properly trained yet.”

Brianna continues to push, but this time with the proper respect.  “Sir, if I can ask… you said that
we’ll
get you properly trained yet.  Please, does that
we
include Markus?  I know you saw him today.  Is he going to let me come home tonight?”

Lukus’ face is like stone.  Brianna can’t interpret his expression.  She knows she’s pushing her luck by staring directly into his eyes instead of submissively lowering her gaze, but she just can’t look away.  She needs the answers he’s withholding from her.  

Lukus pauses, choosing his words carefully. “He’s really hurting right now.  I honestly don’t know if he’s ever going to forgive you, Brianna.  He basically upended his entire life to be with you, and you basically said ‘fuck you’ in return by being with Jake again.  With time, who knows?  Maybe he’ll be able to believe you won’t do it again.”

Bri couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her face if she had to. “Did you tell him I’d
never
do it again.  Didn’t you tell him about why I did it?  About that submissive part of me I’ve tried so hard to push down, but just couldn’t?”

“Yes, I told him. But I’m not entirely sure he believes me.  I think you just need to give him a bit more time to think things through.”

Brianna’s heart is breaking.  She was so sure Lukus would be able to convince Markus to forgive her.  Okay, maybe not
forgive
, but to at least give her a chance to make it up to him.  She’d hoped her husband would welcome a chance to embrace his dominant side again, with her, in a fulltime D/s relationship.  Only now does Brianna realize what a mistake it had been to allow herself to get her hopes up.  She closes her eyes and tries to give herself an internal pep talk.

‘You just need to give him more time, Bri.  You can’t give up fighting yet.  It’s only been one day.’ 

Her pep talk lasts approximately thirty-seconds before her fears close in and Brianna’s sobs overtake her.

‘He’s going to divorce me and I deserve it.  I was so close to having it all.  If only I could’ve been more open with him.  I should have been brave enough to tell him what I was feeling… what I needed.  Now he hates me.’

Brianna feels rather than sees Lukus taking a seat next to her on the bed.  She’s grateful for his shoulder to cry on as he pulls her into his lap to comfort her, much like he did after her bath.  She holds onto him tightly as he lets her cry it out before finally pulling back far enough to see her face.  When she opens her eyes, she’s surprised to see Lukus’ sympathetic expression.