Warning Track (39 page)

“I’m hanging up on you…”

“Fine, I just wanted to tell you I saw your lover out and about with a woman today. They seemed awfully cozy.”

Lucy’s face paled as she thought of Connor with someone else. She knew Austin was an ass, but he wasn’t that big of an ass to make up such a story. Was he?

“What are you talking about?” Lucy asked, almost holding her breath, as her heartbeat sped up a couple of paces.
 

“Ah, now you want to talk to me.”

“Austin, just fucking tell me.”

The bastard laughed into the phone, making Lucy even crazier.
 

“I was getting takeout today at Freddie’s and I saw Connor having lunch with a blonde in some kind of power suit. I gave him props because the chick was fucking fine as hell. I was surprised the douche could actually hold two hot women at once. I underestimated him.”

“What…what were they doing?” Lucy choked out.
 

“They were eating, talking, and having what seemed like a good time.”

“You’re wrong.”

“I didn’t know that being delusional was a side-effect of being pregnant. Isn’t he taking a break with you right now? Earth to Lucy, it’s because he is getting some non-pregnant ass on the side.”

“Go to hell, Austin.”

“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger. I was just trying to protect you.”

“No!” Lucy shouted. “Ever since you found out this baby is yours, you’ve been nothing but an arrogant ass and tried to destroy any kind of relationship I have with Connor. Don’t you have something better to do with your life than destroy everyone else’s?”

“I’m getting the feeling that you’re pissed for some reason, but don’t fucking take it out on me when Connor is the one cheating on you.”

“He’s not cheating on me!” Lucy shouted. She wanted to reach through the phone and strangle him. She hated him…at this very moment, she hated Austin to her core. Normally, a friend would be sympathetic about a situation where you have to tell a friend that their boyfriend is cheating on them, but not with Austin. It was almost as if he was gloating, that he was happy that her life was slowly being ruined with every word he spoke.
 

“Suit yourself; I know what I saw, but if you want to live in the land of denial where unicorns mate with leprechauns, by all means have fun. Send me a pic when the unicorn gives birth, I want a pic of that mythical deformity. See ya, Luce.”

Lucy chucked her phone into her purse and leaned against Connor’s front door. There was no way Connor was cheating on her. He loved her, he told her he loved her. He wouldn’t turn his back on her, not after everything they’d been through. They were going through a rough patch, but nothing that would warrant Connor seeking out another set of warm arms to drown in….right?

Worry spread through Lucy’s body, as she thought about getting up and leaving. She could stay with Patty, she wouldn’t mind, since Lucy gave up her apartment like a dumbass. Her plan to make an elaborate statement of love was really starting to backfire now.
 

Lucy was just about to get up and go to her car when a pair of headlights worked their way up Connor’s driveway. He was home. Relief washed through her until another pair of headlights followed right behind.
 

The driveway was to the left of the front door, so she wasn’t spotted yet, except for her car on the curb, but it was dark, maybe Connor hadn’t seen it. Lucy heard two car doors slam shut and a nervous feeling took up residence in the pit of her stomach.
 

Connor’s masculine laugh soared through the night air as he approached the front door. The porch light was on, so when he stepped up to the front door, the look of shock on his face was unmistakable.
 

“Lucy, what are you doing here, is everything okay?”

Just as Lucy was about to answer, a blonde, the blonde Austin must have been talking about, walked right up behind Connor. Austin was right, she was really hot.

“Lucy, are you okay?” Connor asked again.
 

Lucy struggled to get up, thanks to her pregnant belly, and Connor tried to help her, but she pushed him away.
 

“I’m sorry for interrupting. I’ll just grab my things and go.”

“Lucy, don’t be ridiculous…”

“Don’t, Connor.” Lucy looked him in the eyes as she threw her bags over her shoulders and said, “The least you could have done was told me the truth instead of giving me some crap of wanting time to pull yourself together. I at least deserved the truth.”

“Lucy…”

She didn’t stay to listen, instead she lifted her head and hauled her bags to her car. She could cry later, but right now, she was going to save some dignity, even though she was in a pair of ratty sweats and an oversized shirt, whereas Miss Perfect was in a magnificently tailored power suit that showed off her body perfectly. Stupid Bitch.
 

**Brady**

“Why are you guys having this party?” Marc asked, as he held onto a beer while staring Brady down.
 

“I couldn’t get Jane to cancel. She said we needed to put on a good face for all of our friends, which is ridiculous because all this party is doing is exposing the ticking time bomb that is my marriage with Jane and how beyond-depressed we are.” Brady looked toward their house as he sat on a lawn chair next to Marc. “What makes me sick is that she won’t even talk to me. She doesn’t even sleep with me anymore. It’s as if she thinks I’m the one who killed the baby.”

“She doesn’t think that, man.”

“I’m not so sure at this point. She looks at me with either complete disdain or with no feeling at all. That’s not the woman I married.”

“She’s hurting, Brady.”

“You don’t think I know that? I’m hurting too, damn it, and the last thing I want right now is to be distanced from my wife. Don’t you think we should be going through this together? For better or worse, that’s what we promised each other, but right now, I don’t see an end to this madness. I can’t even get through to her.”

“Have you tried talking to someone, like a therapist?” Marc suggested.
 

“Any time I try to even talk to her about it, she either starts crying hysterically and leaves, or she lashes out at me. It’s come to the point now where I don’t even talk to her because I figure she’ll be less upset if I just leave her alone.”

“You can’t do that, you can’t give up on her. The minute you give up, the minute you stop fighting, then it’s really going to be over for you two. You have to keep trying, man.”

Brady took a swig of his beer as he watched Jane flitter through the house, passing out drinks and being the ever-present hostess.
 

“Why am I the one who has to reach out?” Brady asked, while pointing to his chest. “Why do I have to make the first move? I lost a daughter too. I’m fucking hurting too.”

Marc moved so he was sitting right next to Brady on a lounge chair that lined Brady and Jane’s immaculate pool.
 

“I’m going to be honest with you, Brady, I would do anything to bring that baby back to you…anything. I know how much she meant to you and how excited you were to be a father, but you have to think about it from Jane’s perspective. She was the one who was holding the baby, protecting the baby and making sure she was as healthy as possible. Not only did she have to give birth to her dead daughter, but she must have wondered what the hell she did that was so wrong. She’s probably wondering what she could have done differently that would have saved her baby. She’s probably overanalyzing every last thing she did during her pregnancy. You lost a baby, but Jane not only lost her baby, she has to face the fact that she was the one who carried that baby and, in her mind, failed.”

Shit.
 

Brady had never thought about it like that. He never considered the fact that Jane might be feeling guilty for the loss of their daughter.
 

“Listen,” Marc continued. “You have to keep fighting, no matter what. Don’t let her shut you out, because the minute that door closes, you’re going to have one hell of a time trying to open it back up.
 

Brady nodded his head in appreciation and thanks to his friend. They finished off their beers and headed back into the party. Jolly Christmas music played throughout the house, as friends mingled with each other amongst the white Christmas lights Jane had placed all around the house. Decorating was one thing that kept her mind off of the loss, so Brady didn’t say a thing when she went over the top with the decorations. Anything that got her mind off of the baby was fine with him.
 

“Brady, I think we’re going to take off,” Molly said, as she held Luke’s hand. “I told everyone else to slowly make their way out as well. I know you guys wanted to try to be normal and have this party, but I think it’s killing Jane and I can’t stand to see her like this. I tried talking to her, but she’s on a different planet. I didn’t push her too far, not wanting to press my luck, but I think we all need to leave because it seems like she’s at her breaking point.”

Brady eyed Jane, who was frantically walking around the house, straightening things out and picking up trash.
 

“Yeah, I think it’s time for everyone to leave. Thanks, Molly. I’ll have a talk with her.”

“Good luck,” Molly patted Brady’s arm. “Let us know if you need anything.”

“I will, and hey, I’m glad you two are working things out.”

They all smiled at each other and then separated. Slowly, the guests started to trickle out of the party, leaving Jane and Brady alone. Thanks to Jane’s incessant cleaning throughout the party, there was practically no mess to clean up. Just some dishes to do, which was kind of nice, since Brady hated picking up after a party.
 

Jane was in the kitchen cleaning up when Brady walked up behind her. He placed both of his hands on her hips and spun her around so she had to look him in the eyes.
 

“Hi, pip-squeak.”

“I’m cleaning, Brady.”

“Well, stop for a second.”

“No, things will crust over if I stop.”

“Well, let them fucking crust over. I want to talk to you.”

Jane blew out a heavy breath, crossed her arms, and looked up at him. “What?”

He didn’t really know what he wanted to say, but he knew he needed to say something.
 

“Can we not fight right now? It’s two days until Christmas and I would love to spend the next couple of days loving you and holding you.”

“We have too much to do…we can’t waste time holding each other.”

She could have smacked him and he wouldn’t have been as shocked. They always held each other; they couldn’t take their hands off of each other they were so in love. Jane had never turned down an opportunity to cuddle with him.
 

“What the hell do we have to do two days before Christmas?”

“We have to take down the nursery; all that stuff can’t stay in there forever.”

“Jane.”

“Don’t start with me, Brady. It’s coming down and we are donating everything. I don’t want any reminders.”

“Sweet thing, I know you’re hurting, but there’s no need to…”

“Don’t tell me what to do or how I’m hurting. I’m fine. I know I lived on the couch for a while, but I’m fine now and I’m moving on, like you. We can’t dwell on the past. So, if you’ll excuse me, I have some dishes to do.”

Jane pulled away and turned to the sink, while grabbing the sponge and working up a soap lather. She was so cold, so distant. There was no talking to her, no reasoning. He had never seen this side of her, ever. He didn’t even know this kind of side of her could exist.
 

Frustration started to boil over Brady as he watched his now-heartless wife scrub away at the dishes.
 

“You weren’t the only one who lost a baby that day. I did too, Jane. I fucking lost a baby too. Stop alienating me and let’s work on this together.”

Jane’s back went stiff at the mention of the loss of their baby. Her head fell as she stopped scrubbing. Brady took that cue as a sign to pull her into his chest, but when he tried to give her warmth, she pulled away and screamed at him.
 

“Don’t touch me. Just leave me the hell alone. I want nothing to do with you.”

“Why?” Brady threw his arms up in the air. “Why? What the hell did I do?”

“You got me pregnant!” Jane screamed. “If I had never gotten pregnant, then this never would have happened. I wouldn’t be living in this hell hole where I’m constantly reminded of what I lost.”

Brady stepped back from Jane as he tried to comprehend what she was saying.
 

“Are you blaming me for the baby’s death?”

Jane wiped tears from her eyes and then looked up at him. “I don’t know, maybe.”

“How could you….how could you even say that?” Brady’s voice caught in his throat. “I love you, Jane, but that comment is almost unforgiveable. You don’t mean that.”

Jane shrugged her shoulders and said, “What does it matter? She is gone, forever.”

Tossing the sponge in the sink, Jane took off for their room, leaving Brady speechless in the kitchen, wondering why Jane was blaming him for their baby’s death when he’d done nothing but love his baby girl and his wife.