“Go to your tent,” Urazi instructed. “Take as much as you can carry. Warm clothing. Coverings. Then go to food storage, and collect unperishables. I will meet you there.”
“Where will you be?”
He pointed toward a sturdy hut she had never entered.
“What is in there?”
“If I am correct, artillery and munitions. Now hurry. We do not have much time.”
They parted, and Anika raced to her shelter. With six females sharing a hut, space came at a premium, so each morn they rolled up their sleeping mats and coverings into tight bundles and secured them with a length of rope. Anika grabbed two mats and her meager winter clothing and shoved them into her pack.
She pried up a loose board, and retrieved Jergan’s dagger from the crevice. Except when training, females were not permitted weapons, so she’d hidden the knife. If she’d been caught with it, she would have been flogged, and the knife confiscated. She’d lost Ramon’s pocket dagger before arriving at the camp. Two alphas had accosted her, robbing her of her coin. In her haste to get away, she’d dropped the knife.
Anika pulled Jergan’s dagger from the sheath and pressed her lips to the blade. No more. She would not permit herself to be unarmed again. She re-sheathed the knife and strapped it to her thigh under her shift. Already she felt more secure and powerful for having it.
Conscious of dwindling time, she headed for food-storage. On impulse, she ducked into a male’s tent. The first thing that struck her was that the dwelling was shared by only two persons, as evidenced by two mats spread out on the floor. Second, she noted the superiority of the mats themselves. They, and the coverings, were thicker and would provide better insulation against the cold than the ones issued to the females.
She swapped them for the ones from her tent. Would the males notice the switch? Perhaps in the light of day, but if they did not retire until nightfall, they would only wonder at the increased chill while they attempted to sleep. Smug satisfaction prompted a further search, and she collected a dagger and two extra uniforms for Urazi. They would be too small because he was bigger than the males in the camp, but at least they would do in an emergency.
She left the tent, made a quick stop in the food storage hut, and then raced to the meeting point.
Chapter Six
A darkening, gloomy sky met desolate landscape at the horizon, the barrenness relieved by a few scrubby trees and occasional rocky protrusions. Against frozen ground, the thud of footfalls sounded loud compared to the enveloping silence as Anika trudged behind Urazi. Surely he did not intend them to march through the night? Her legs and feet ached, and if she hadn’t packed it herself, she would have sworn the carryall on her back contained heavy stones instead of clothing, sleep coverings, food, and other supplies. Urazi’s pack bulged, larger and far heavier, yet he showed no signs of tiring. Since leaving the camp, they had maintained a brisk pace unbroken but for two too-brief respites.
But she did not complain. She understood the urgency to widen the distance between them and their would-be pursuers. By now, the guerillas would have discovered Grogan’s body. She did not doubt a team had been dispatched to hunt her down.
“How far do you think we have traveled?” she called.
“Twenty kilometers, perhaps a little a more. Do you grow weary?” Urazi halted.
“I am fine,” she lied.
“We will stop soon. You have not complained nor hindered our travel. You are strong.” His words and nod of approval lit a glow within her until he spoiled it by adding, “For a female.”
“You are perceptive,” she snapped, an uncharacteristic temper rising.
“For a male.”
Urazi frowned. “I have praised you, but I sense you are annoyed with me.”
Anika motioned for him to continue the trek. “Just go.”
He shot her a quizzical glance then did as she bade, forging forward again. Anika glared at his broad back. Were all males so shortsighted? Could not one of them recognize value without lessening it by adding, “For a female”? What difference did gender make? Were facts not facts? Truth not true?
Once she’d accepted her role without question or demur, expecting to produce sons for an alpha. If she had any wishes, when the cacophony of female cries settled for the night at the Breeder Containment Facility, she dreamed of being purchased by a male of mild temper and ample physical restraint.
Jergan, a beta, had been such a male. Yet, his regard had failed to satisfy her longing. The liberties she’d enjoyed at the Enclave had been greater than she’d ever imagined she could have, yet they, too, had fallen short. Then she’d encountered Tara, a bold and brash
female
alien, who had accomplished wondrous things. And she’d seen how her friend Omra had captured the affection of a powerful Alpha and blossomed under his unconditional dotage.
Was she foolish to aspire to achieve something by herself
and
to have a male recognize her abilities? To earn respect and honor
and
capture the regard an alpha reserved for his beta?
“A target shot dead center is a target shot dead center,” she muttered.
“That is so.” Urazi surprised her by answering. She hadn’t thought he would hear, but sound carried in the stillness. “Why would you question it?” he asked.
“Why would
you
?” she countered.
“I do not.”
“Strength is strength.”
“I do not understand this conversation.”
“I am sure of that,” she snapped.
The density of the twisted, dwarfed trees grew thicker until a scrub forest of sorts formed around rocky outcroppings. A stubborn day still radiated a measure of light, but the rising Parseon moon foretold of its capitulation to darkness.
Urazi halted. “We have gone far enough. Qalin’s men will also make camp after nightfall—and that assumes they have gone in the right direction. They could be headed away from us. He scanned the shadowed terrain. “Over there.” He pointed to the largest outcropping of rock. “It will shelter us from the wind, and we will be able to build a fire.”
“Will not someone see it?”
“We are isolated enough that it will not draw attention. In this time of war, displacement has been vast, turning many into nomads. A fire will not raise undue suspicion. But you are wise to question it.”
For a female
. He didn’t say it, but Anika heard the qualifier. She did not know why Urazi kindled her annoyance. She’d been happy to see him, at first, and he had defended her against Grogan. Of course, in killing the alpha, he had turned them into fugitives, but if that had not happened, she would not have realized until too late she’d been tricked into supporting the enemy.
They picked their way around the large rock, and on the other side discovered an overhang offering additional shelter. Anika shrugged out of her pack and let it fall to the ground. Urazi did likewise then jerked his head toward a large rodent foraging for food.
He pressed a finger to his lips and raised the crossbow he’d carried cocked and loaded, and released the bolt. The animal fell dead. “We shall eat fresh tonight,” he said. “Let us save the preserved meat for when we cannot get game.”
“I will collect the firewood,” she offered.
“Do not stray far.”
“I won’t.”
She gathered twigs for kindling then a few larger branches, carrying the armload to Urazi, so he could get the fire started. He’d fashioned a hearth from stones and, under the rock ledge, he’d erected a temporary domicile from a tarp and some flexible metal poles.
Anika deposited the wood and went in search of more. Only minutes of light remained, and she hurried to grab as many pieces as she could, including a couple of sturdy, forked twigs. She dumped her load at their makeshift camp.
“Stay,” he said. “It is dark.”
“Once more.” Anika ignored his admonition and darted into scrubby forest. She grabbed four larger logs and, using the flickers of fire light to guide her, returned to camp.
She placed the load within convenient reach of the fire, but not so close a spark might ignite it while they slept. “That should do it.”
Urazi had skinned and dressed the rodent and was roasting it on a spit he’d made from the forked twigs. He rested on his haunches and stared at the cracking flames.
Anika shrugged off a feeling of tension and knelt to warm her cold, stiff hands. Painful tingles tormented her fingers as sensation returned.
“When I told you to stay, it was not a suggestion,” he said quietly.
Anika rubbed her hands over the fire. “We needed more wood.”
“It is not safe for a female to venture off alone.”
There it was again.
Female
. Her gender restricted her to a tiny space enclosed within invisible, but unscalable, walls. “I can decide what is safe, and what is not.” Anika scrambled to her feet and scowled. “And
who
rendered our situation unsafe?
You
killed Grogan,” she pointed out. “If not for that, the Resistance would not be after us.”
Urazi turned the spitted rodent to roast the other side, and then rose. His chest appeared as wide as a barrel, his legs as long and stout as the trunks of trees. Anika lifted her chin, refusing to be cowed, although standing up to a male still caused flutters of nerves.
“If I had not killed Grogan, he would have beaten and used you.”
Urazi had witnessed Grogan striking her, so the first part came as no surprise, but how could he have known the alpha had intended to avail himself of her?
“Do you think I could not read his behavior? That I did not notice him rubbing himself against you? Do you think I am mentally deficient?” Urazi growled. “If I had not intervened, you would have joined forces against Marlix, Dak, and Ilian without knowing it.”
Anika’s face heated with guilt and shame.
“You are impulsive! Rash,” Urazi continued to rail. “You fled without concern for the consequences.”
“I knew the consequences! Marlix would have sent me to Ilian.”
Urazi looked away. “
Commander
Ilian would have kept you safe.”
“Maybe safety represents the greatest danger of all.”
“Your words do not make sense.”
“I wish to choose what I do. “
“Protocol makes the choice for you.”
“Protocol. Protocol. Protocol! I am sick of Protocol.” Anika stomped around, too angry to remain still.
“It is the way. Our way.”
“
Our way
allowed Corren, Commander Dak’s beta, to slit my throat and leave me for dead.” Anika traced the fine scar bisecting her neck. “It allowed Qalin’s guards to hunt Tara and me, to kill Tara’s friend Ramon.”
“That is not the fault of Protocol, but of the individuals involved,” Urazi said.
Anika shook her head. “No. It creates the environment that encourages such behavior.”
“That is incor—”
“Protocol allows the male offspring of my sire to send me to whomever he wishes without concern for my desires.” Anika cut him off.
“Ilian is
Alpha
. He is the best possible
choice
for you.”
“Qalin is Alpha, too. Would he not be a best possible choice?”
“Now you speak rubbish.” Urazi turned away.
“You know I am right.”
“I know we all have our duty. In obedience, we achieve honor.”
“Easy for you to say. You are male. Your duty affords you some choices.”
“I am beta. Do you not think I wish for more?” Urazi whipped around, his gray eyes ablaze. “But I owe my allegiance to Parseon and to my Alpha! I accept that.”
“Well, I do not!” If she had a hammer she would not be able to pound understanding into his stony male brain. He would never empathize with her position. No male could. Anika clenched her hands into fists. If
she
were a male, she would have punched him by now. Old and new resentments ballooned. If she could not calm herself, she would explode. She
would
punch him. Anika stomped toward the forest.
“Come back here!”
She ignored him. He did not get a choice in the matter. Let him see what it was like to have one’s wishes overruled.
“Anika, I warn you….” Urazi’s voice hardened.
She faltered, responding to the command, habit and lifelong training overruling self-determination. But only if she let it.
I am more than what I have been taught.
Anika whirled around, folded all her fingers except for the middle one, and showed him her hand. Tara had called it flipping the
coro
and explained it was a very rude, dismissive gesture on Terra. It would be more satisfying if Urazi knew what it meant, but, for now, it was enough that she did. She spun around and marched toward the woods.
Chapter Seven
Headstrong. Disrespectful. Disobedient. Impulsive.
Maddening
. He didn’t know the exact meaning of the Terran gesture Anika had flipped at him, but from her smug expression, he discerned she intended disrespect.
A smoldering fury burst into a full flame. Urazi charged, grabbed her around the waist, and hoisted her off her feet. She kicked and shrieked in outrage, but he hauled her across their camp to a large boulder.
“Do you see how easy it is?” he goaded, as she ineffectually flailed her arms and legs. “Are you so foolish as to believe Qalin is your sole threat? That other males might not avail themselves of the opportunity afforded by a lone female?”
“You said we were safe here!” She continued to thrash.
Urazi planted himself on the boulder and Anika over his knees.
“Let me up! What are you doing?”
“What I should have done sooner,” he growled, and adjusted her to prevent her body from pressing against his thickening manhood. How her temper and stubbornness could infuriate him and arouse him in equal parts, he did not understand.
“I said the males from
your Resistance
would bed down for the night. I also said many others make their camp as well. Perhaps they gather firewood. Not to mention that night draws nocturnal predators.”