Warrior of the Ages (Warriors of the Ages) (37 page)

THE SCREEN DOOR banged open and Honor Monroe raced through the house. Startled, Beth watched as he entered the kitchen in his police uniform. He bent over her to wrap his arms under hers and haul her to her feet.

“Sweet Bethy! Congratulations! Kahtar? You too, I suppose you won’t be pulling your shift today.” Plunking Beth back into the chair he moved two steps to lean down and kiss Kahtar. It was curious to see two men kiss so casually, especially after the rude things Kahtar had said about Honor. Obviously Kahtar truly loved his partner.

“I suppose I won’t. Beth wants me to meet her parents.”

“Excellent.” Honor enthused. Beth noticed when he nodded almost imperceptibly towards Kahtar and knew her declared had given orders in his second voice. On a whim she tried out her own.

“EAT WITH US?”
It was strange to use an unused part of her brain, the words vibrated through her head oddly. Both the men looked at her and Honor shivered slightly, then laughed.

“Tone it down a bit there, Screech. You’ll have dolphins swimming inland for miles.”

Beth laughed, thrilled that it had worked. Honor reached across the table and grabbed her hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss repeatedly then flipping it over to kiss her palm.

Kahtar snapped, “You tone it down, Monroe. That is my declared you’re slobbering on.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, Kahtar pretended not to see. Honor apologized, but kissed her cheek again anyway then dragged a chair across the room and slid into it, his leg against Beth’s as he poured syrup over the heap of food on her plate before picking up her fork to share.

“How’d you know we declared?” she asked, as Honor dived into her breakfast.

Both men chuckled. Honor’s blue eyes lit as he forced his food down quick.

“Really, Ducky? Your heart. The Palmers turned straight around before we’d reached the porch, went right back the way we came. I don’t think they were in a congratulatory mood.”

Rubbing her chest through the thin fabric of the pajama top Beth considered that, flushing slightly at what her heart had done to Kahtar’s, wondering how much they’d felt. When she glanced over at him, he was studying her with those steely eyes of his.

She asked, “How far away can you feel a heart?”

Honor piped up before Kahtar could open his mouth. “Oh it varies, not far. You have an exuberant heart, that’s why every other man in the clan wanted to join with you. Who wouldn’t want to come home to that? I sure would.”

Shoveling a huge mouthful of food, dripping syrup, into his mouth he met Kahtar’s eyes across the table and mumbled, “Sorry?” He scooted his chair closer to Beth’s as though seeking her protection and she glared a warning towards her glowering declared.

“You need to get to work but leave the squad car here.”

Honor obeyed immediately, pausing only to swipe a brief kiss over Beth’s lips then he was gone.

“Are you a jealous man, Kahtar?” Gazing across the table at him, she tried to read his expression.

“No. I don’t think so, Beth. You’re the first girl I’ve ever loved, so I’m not entirely certain, but it’s just that….”

“What?”

“I’d like to spend some time with you, holding your hand and talking like you do with him. Honor can be your girlfriend tomorrow.”

“Okay.” It came out with a silly giggle, “I’d like to hold your hand.” Wondering why the truth was making her blush furiously, she looked down at her plate. Honor had poured syrup over everything, and the pile looked vaguely disgusting.

Kahtar reached across the small table and took her hand almost shyly. For long minutes they sat quietly that way. Finally he said, “Would you mind terribly if we went to see your parents tomorrow? We’ve never had a day just the two of us, not really.”

Clutching his big hand tightly she met those steely eyes directly and knew he saw her answer there. Lifting her hand he pressed it against his forehead and sighed.

“I never thought to have a wife. And now I wonder how I never knew how much I needed you.”

LONGINUS SENSED HIS
kinsmen calling weakly to him in second voice. There was no point in staying here. Darkness had taken this godless land and sixty of his warriors. It was time to retreat. Bloody, mud-caked sandals slowed his step, and the torment of those around him burned against his aching heart. There was no sin in offering mercy, the man was nearly dead, perhaps he was dead…why could he not tell for certain? Longinus’s fingers curled around the shaft, and he shoved the stolen spear up, through flesh, sinew, and muscle, the familiar resistance of bone got in the way, but an expert twist helped by-pass that, and he reached the heart. Then he sensed Him, ilu. In that moment Longinus wanted only to die.

Kahtar was screaming, his world completely dark, he was blind with agony. Hands touched him and he pushed them away, felt a body give easily under his strength, somewhere in his mind he heard the sound of impact and a protest. It tugged him towards consciousness.

Old Guard? Old Guard know not to touch me.
Gasping for air his mind fought to make sense of his world.
Breathe, deep, breathe.

“Old Guard?” He managed to get the name out, a question, not a summons. Beth’s voice replied from halfway across the room.

“No! Just me, I think you might have hurt my hip.”

Beth!
In seconds he was out of the bed and squatting beside her, scanning. Bruises, just bruises, plenty of them and plenty more coming, there was nothing to be done for bruises. Tugging Beth to stand he rubbed his hand across her cheek.

“I didn’t know it was you, I’m so sorry, Beth.”

“Am I supposed to think that was because of a shade?”

“More of a bad dream.” Heart still hammering and sweat running down his back Kahtar didn’t know what else to say.

Shades are unbearable when they’re memories of what you’ve really done.
It was worse, tonight, than it had been in a long time, so real, so painful, and after the best day of his life.
Did I think being joined would change my sins? I should tell her. Now.
But he didn’t want to, not when her heart was already wrapping his, offering comfort.

“I hate when you lie to me.” Beth’s voice was teary and something deep in him made him tell her the truth that he’d never told another soul. “It wasn’t just a shade, not really, just my own sins catching up with me.”

To his surprise Beth’s arms wrapped around his waist and she hugged him. The skin from her cheek pressed into his bare chest and she leaned into him, tightening her grip. Maybe it was the moonless night, or maybe it was catching him fresh from Golgotha or even the accepting push of her heart against his in the dark, but he rested his face against the top of her head and kissed it.

“Don’t,” he whispered into her blonde hair. “Don’t be understanding about this. You don’t know what I haven’t told you. What I am.”

“I know what you are.”

Knowing full well that he should pull away, he didn’t. He held her tighter and allowed himself to feel her open heart as he confessed.

“I’m an assassin, without remorse. I’m a killer without mercy. I’m a sinner, the worst one.”

Beth’s grip loosened and he immediately let go, stepping back, certain she saw him now in this black night for what he truly was. Even in the dark, she would hear and know the truth, that he was what he said. Wishing he’d told her sooner, wishing he’d never told her. He felt her flush even in the darkness, sensed her hands pressing against her cheeks, waited for her condemnation.

What he got was, “You’re naked!”

It was too dark for Beth to see, and taken by surprise and emotion, the fact that he’d been hugging her against his body au naturel hadn’t even registered. Standing a foot from her his reply was heartfelt.

“In every way possible at this moment.” Though Beth had put physical distance between them, her heart seemed to know no boundaries as it frolicked over his. It was far more intense than any draw of the flesh.

“I came in here tonight to be honest with you, Kahtar. I know how you feel about me. I can feel your heart too. Even when I first came to town and you told me to leave, I knew you didn’t mean it, that you wanted me to stay. That is only part of the reason I stayed though, so don’t blame yourself for that. You’ve bared your soul to me tonight, let me bare mine.”

Confused, Kahtar took a couple steps back and sat down on his bed. Beth followed and sat beside him, he could sense the long t-shirt she was wearing, and when she turned towards him one of her long legs touched his and she left it there.

“You are the first one to ever really recognize that I have to tell the truth. Besides my parents.”

“It is a beautiful gifting, Beth.”

“Do you really think so? The Mother said that too, and you both think it makes me so wholesome. If you really knew me you would realize how wrong you are. I am not pure.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m not a good person. I’ve done terrible things. It would take me several lifetimes to do penance for the sins of just this one. It doesn’t feel like a gift to me, telling the truth—it is a compulsion of which I barely have control. The Mother spoke of giftings like they are blessings, yet mine is not and now you tell me yours is killing? These are giftings?

“I was raised a military brat, Kahtar, you are not the first assassin I’ve ever known—just the first who has ever admitted it to me, but I knew…and despite your self-recrimination I know you do not take pleasure in killing. Perhaps you think that is irrelevant, but I think it is the difference between a soldier and a serial killer, between a man doing what he must and a monster doing what it will.”

In the dark night Kahtar swallowed, Beth’s words a balm.

Still, she does not know….

“At least you can control it, your gift of killing. Consider what you would be if you could barely control your gifting? It would make you a monster. That is what I am. I am not some pure sweet woman that fate has tossed towards you and your clan. I
am
that monster. Perhaps if you really understood what I can do, you would use your gifting against me.”

“Beth, Sweetheart.” The endearment spilled from his lips as though he’d said it a thousand times. Wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close he kissed the top of her head again. Her hair smelled like tangerines. Beth shoved away from him, scooting out of his reach to the foot of the bed.

“Don’t touch me. This is difficult enough, without you hugging me in the dark without any clothes on. Listen to me, Kahtar. I speak the truth. If you touch me again I will take this off.” He sensed it as Beth tugged at her thin t-shirt in the dark. “And I will show you just how impure I can be.”

Freezing in place, those words rolled over Kahtar and for a moment he battled against the urge to touch her immediately, before his honor stepped firmly in front of the urge.

“Your honor disappoints me this once.”

Kahtar didn’t dare move, the air between them snapped to life with desires he’d ignored all of his years on earth. Beth’s words had awoken a part of him that he did not truly want to control, not anymore, but he just breathed deep and kept his hands to himself.

At her end of the bed Beth pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.