“It’s always bad,” Julian said as he looked away, peering up into the falling snow.
Cameron’s brow furrowed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just that I wondered where you were that week when you didn’t come to the restaurant.” He paused. “It’s not my business though.”
Warrior’s Cross 41
Julian lowered his head, staring at the sidewalk for a moment before he looked back up at Cameron. “Do you really want to know?”
he asked dubiously, coming to a halt on the snow-covered walkway.
Cameron stopped too. He knew to say yes would be admitting more than he wanted. But he was here, wasn’t he? He’d already forfeited any pride in the matter. “Yes?” he ventured, expecting to be rebuffed.
Julian stared at him for a long moment, his eyes raking over Cameron’s features and obviously contemplating him. “Would you believe me if I told you I was shot?” he finally asked with a mischievous glint in his black eyes.
Cameron stared at him. “Shot? Like,
shot
? By a gun?”
Julian tilted his head and nodded. “It’s hard to be shot with a knife.”
“So you’d been shot the week before, but you still came to dinner at Tuesdays?” Cameron looked doubtful.
“Two weeks before, actually,” Julian corrected. “I missed a week.”
“Didn’t it still hurt?” Cameron asked incredulously. “A lot?”
“Yes,” Julian admitted. “And it made me cranky,” he added with a slight reddening of his cheeks that wasn’t because of the freezing temperature outside.
“That was the night you asked for Miri,” Cameron remembered.
“‘Tell the woman to bring the check’,” he repeated flatly.
Julian lowered his head silently. “I owe you an apology for that,”
he finally stated.
Cameron shook his head, though Julian wouldn’t see it. “It’s okay.
Blake explained. Sort of.”
It registered suddenly that Blake
knew
this man. Julian couldn’t be all that bad if Blake knew him, could he? Surely Cameron was safe with him. He stood there pondering, slightly dragging one foot back and forth, making a furrow in the snow as it fell between the towering concrete and glass buildings and onto the lit streets all around them.
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Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Julian shook his head in return and gave Cameron a small, embarrassed smile. “My own time is very limited,” he explained. “I’m jealous of the time spent at the restaurant,” he said candidly.
“Jealous?” Cameron was at a loss. “I don’t understand. The food’s not
that
good,” he said.
“But the service is extraordinary,” Julian said softly.
There wasn’t any breath left in Cameron’s chest after Julian’s explanation, so he couldn’t even start to answer. He could only stand there as the sparkling flakes fell silently and thick around them, staring at the man he’d been fantasizing about for months. He finally shrugged helplessly, unable to think of anything else to do.
Julian shook his head again and smiled as he looked at Cameron.
“I look forward to seeing you,” he explained. “Whether it’s bringing me my meal or waiting on the table next to mine. I don’t want someone else doing it.”
“All I do is serve the food.”
“And all I do is sit there and watch you,” Julian countered.
Cameron’s gut clenched and his breath caught. After several heartbeats, he blurted, “I watch you too.”
Julian’s face broke into a wide smile. It completely changed the way he looked, and even the way it felt to be around him. The apprehension that had tightened Cameron’s chest eased up somewhat, and he found himself staring raptly. Dark and brooding, Julian was sinfully handsome. But when he smiled, he was absolutely devastating, and Cameron didn’t think he’d be able to move from that very spot anytime soon. Not as long as Julian was smiling at him.
“I know,” Julian said simply.
“You… How?” Cameron asked. He did almost all his watching from the safety of the service area.
Julian looked at him silently for a moment and then smiled again and looked behind them. The snow had already blotted out their footprints. “Midnight Mass will start soon. I’ll let you go,” he finally Warrior’s Cross 43
murmured, not answering the question in the least. “I merely needed to tell you.”
Cameron couldn’t drag his eyes away. “Julian?” The word came out deep and slightly breathless. It was the first time he’d spoken it aloud.
“Yes?” Julian responded calmly in turn as he looked back at him.
For a wild, insane second, Cameron wished it were in him to do something brash. While working, he knew exactly what to do in almost every situation. Outside of work, it was decidedly the opposite. But right now he wished he had the nerve to ask this man, practically a stranger, to come home with him. He felt sure he wouldn’t get another chance. But he simply couldn’t force the words between his lips.
“How’s your arm now?” he asked weakly.
“It’s doing well,” Julian answered with another bemused smile.
“Thank you for asking.”
Nodding, Cameron took a step back, telling himself to quit babbling and leave with a hint of dignity intact. “I’m this way,” he said, gesturing to the right.
Julian glanced in that direction and tilted his head like he wanted to say or do something but was uncertain. The quiet, frozen surroundings and Julian’s indecision stirred something unusual in Cameron, and from far away he heard himself ask, “Do you have someone to get home to on Christmas Eve?”
Julian looked at him closely as the snow began to fall even harder.
It made it difficult to see, even though they stood only a few feet apart.
He looked off in the direction of Holy Name Cathedral before returning his piercing gaze to Cameron and stepping closer. He shook his head, looking down at Cameron’s upturned face. “No one.”
The snow was getting so heavy it was catching on Cameron’s eyelashes, and he had to keep blinking. When he heard Julian’s reply, he steeled himself for what had to be the craziest thing he’d ever done in his life.
He held out his hand.
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Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Julian looked down at it as if he wasn’t quite certain what it was and then back to Cameron in surprise. He reached out slowly and slid his fingers over Cameron’s trembling palm. The soft leather of his glove was cool, but warmer than Cameron’s chilled hand. Cameron closed his fingers around Julian’s, and after a moment, tugged lightly.
Julian allowed himself to be led across the deserted street.
If Cameron let himself think about it, he knew he’d start to freak out. So he carefully didn’t think about
anything
but the next step: get home. He just kept walking, leading Julian along the sidewalk, through the piled snow that was getting deeper by the minute. Three blocks later he came to a stop in front of an older warehouse building that had been converted into condos, where he chanced a look at the other man.
Julian was studying the building with a frown. “I find myself wanting to caution you against trusting people like myself,” he murmured to Cameron as he looked down at him. “I would still order the special if you sent me home right now.”
“People like yourself?” Cameron prodded.
“People who find themselves shot while working,” Julian provided as he stepped closer and enveloped Cameron’s cold hand in his own.
“Maybe you need taking care of?” Cameron responded
uncertainly.
Julian’s eyes met Cameron’s with new intensity. “What would you propose?” he asked hoarsely.
Cameron knew without a doubt that this would be his only chance, and the fear of never having another stirred him where desire would not. His heart pounded as he shifted his weight onto his toes, lifted his chin, and lightly brushed his cold lips against Julian’s.
Cameron’s eyes were closed when he pulled back, and he reopened them when he realized it. He was looking right up into the other man’s black eyes, no more than a foot away, and Julian was staring at him with what he could only describe as open longing.
Cameron’s breath caught. He didn’t think he’d
ever
been the focus of a look like that.
Warrior’s Cross 45
Julian breathed out heavily when Cameron moved away; the frosty air swirled around Cameron and caressed his face before dissipating.
“Come on,” Cameron whispered, tugging lightly again. Julian’s grip tightened on Cameron’s hand and he followed obediently.
Cameron quickly led him into the building before he could lose his nerve. He bypassed the elevator for the stairs—he was just one flight up, and the climb would give him less time to think through what he was doing. When they reached the landing, he was still determined to take this stranger into his apartment, and probably his bed, without further internal debate. He stopped in front of his door and dug out his keys, fumbling with them since his fingers were almost frozen.
Julian watched for a moment before reaching out and gently taking Cameron’s hand. He cupped it with his own, raised it to his lips, and breathed on it, trying to warm the skin as he kept his eyes on Cameron’s.
If his heart beat any harder, Cameron was sure Julian would be able to hear it. The slightest brush of those lips against his fingers was enough to send Cameron’s brain into lockdown, and he was mesmerized. It took long moments of just staring before Cameron pulled his chilled fingers away so he could unlock the door.
Julian smiled slightly, obviously enjoying the effect he was having on Cameron, who blinked hard and started to open the door, remembering at nearly the last second to say, “I hope you’re not allergic to dogs.”
“Only their teeth,” Julian answered flatly.
“Don’t worry. They don’t bite too hard.” Cameron cracked the door open, and there was a sudden cacophony of yapping and scraping as little feet came rushing across the hardwood when Cameron entered.
Julian stayed behind Cameron and kept his fingertips on Cameron’s hips from behind, using him as a shield as they watched the clown parade. Four tiny white puppies skidded at their feet and began jumping and yipping happily. Julian stared at them for a moment before turning his attention back to Cameron. He didn’t appear to be nearly as composed as usual, but Cameron wondered if it was more than simply nerves. Julian’s next question answered that for him.
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Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
“Will they take exception if they see me touching you?” he asked as he let his hands slide off Cameron’s hips.
Cameron’s stomach flipped the second Julian pulled his hands away, and he wished all of a sudden the other man would stay close. He looked down at the little group of fuzzy puppies that barely stood as tall as his ankles. “I’ll hazard a guess and say you’re safe,” he said with a smile as he shut the door behind them. “Just don’t step on one, please.”
Julian nodded obediently, looking down at the four puppies with complete seriousness. As soon as the door was shut, though, he took Cameron by the elbow and, very gently, pressed him back against the door as he stepped closer. Cameron inhaled sharply as heat rushed through him. This was crazy, absolutely crazy, but he didn’t care. He wanted very much to feel Julian against him.
Julian waited to give him a chance to change his mind or protest, but when Cameron did nothing of the sort, Julian leaned in and kissed him slowly.
Cameron could feel himself trembling, and his eyes fell shut as Julian’s lips touched his. He couldn’t catch his breath, and his heart raced as he tried not to gasp. He dared set his hand lightly on Julian’s broad shoulder, and when he made contact Julian immediately wrapped his arms around him and pushed closer.
The kiss became more heated, and with it came a thread of desire as the chill was chased away. God… Julian was kissing him silly. His body was as solid as it looked, and it felt good pressed against Cameron’s. Cameron curled his hand around Julian’s shoulder to make it feel more real.
Finally, Julian pulled back and rested his hands on the door by either side of Cameron’s head, trapping him there. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he breathed in a slightly relieved voice.
Cameron pulled his eyes open, still feeling the pressure of Julian’s lips against his own. “Why not?” he asked without thinking.
“Because I fear you would think me a stalker and make me go home,” Julian admitted wryly, his mouth curving into a smile.
Warrior’s Cross 47
Cameron laid his head back against the door and met Julian’s eyes.
“Bit late for that now, don’t you think?” He slowly let his hand slide from Julian’s shoulder and down his coat lapel.
“It’s never too late for stalking,” Julian practically purred as he pressed his body against Cameron’s.
A breath shuddered out of Cameron, and he gasped for another. “I thought you’d never speak to me,” Cameron admitted as he grew more accustomed to Julian’s body against his.
“I didn’t want to bother you while you worked,” Julian murmured as he ducked his head and slowly ran the tip of his nose along Cameron’s cheek.
Cameron’s eyelids fluttered down as he felt Julian’s breath on his chin and throat. “So bother me now,” he whispered shakily.
Julian kissed him again, hard this time. His fingers gripped Cameron’s biceps and pressed into him hungrily. Giving in to the onslaught with a soft moan that disappeared into Julian’s mouth, Cameron scrabbled to hang onto Julian’s shoulders as the kiss lit a fire inside him. The sensations swamped him and all he could think was that if he could speak, he’d mewl for more.
Julian pulled back abruptly, as if just realizing what he was doing.
“I’m sorry,” he said breathlessly as he leaned his forehead against Cameron’s.
Cameron’s dazed eyes blinked at him. “Sorry?” he rasped.
Julian looked down to where his fingers still gripped Cameron’s arms and nodded as he brushed his lips over Cameron’s again and slowly relaxed his grasp. “Usually, I’m more restrained.”
Cameron smiled slowly, though he still felt more than a little off-balance. “I’ll take that as another compliment.”
Julian nodded jerkily and kissed him again, the impulsive movement hard enough to lift and pin Cameron against the door.