Warrior's Rise (16 page)

Logan forced a smile, but he didn’t really feel that much better. Sure, they knew now that their terrible fathers actually happened to be the same terrible father, but all that did was reassure Logan that he really was an awful excuse for a human being. Darien had been raised under the same abusive circumstances and he’d turned out so much better than Logan could have even hoped to be at his age. At eighteen, he’d already been in more fights than he could count and had mastered the skill of feeling nothing real. Darien was who he was and he stood up for his right to be that person. Logan had never had that kind of courage.

It made him feel even worse to know that, now that he was experiencing the entire spectrum of emotions without a choice, he had no idea how to handle any of them. He felt like his mind was spinning at high velocity and at least seventy-five percent of him still believed this was all some sort of delusional nightmare.

“Darien,” he said quietly, “how can you just accept all of this? Doesn’t it seem outrageous to you?”

Darien slid him a mischievous half-smile. “Are you kidding me? This is awesome. It’s like I fell into a live action RPG, but it’s not a game. It’s real…” He shook his head. “It’s hard for me to explain, but I always felt so out of place in everything. Here, I feel like I fit. Even though it’s crazy. Even though it seems like it should be impossible. Right now I’m sitting here and I feel like this is where I’m meant to be. It’s like my heart recognizes this place.”

Logan snorted. He completely understood what Darien said and it freaked him out on the highest level. His heart felt at peace too, even though his mind was in the worst kind of tumult. He shook his head. “Maybe you’re more accepting because you’re actually part fairy.” He shot him a glance. “I’m fifty percent skeptical human.”

Darien smiled. “That probably has something to do with it.”

Logan watched the fireflies sparkle like glitter in the twilight for a moment longer before he lowered his gaze to the moss-covered forest floor. “What are we supposed to do now?” he murmured.

Darien frowned. “What do you mean?”

Logan threw his hands up in the air. “Like we have a crazy fairy queen hell bent on revenge coming after us! Like we’re never going to be able to go back to living normal lives after this!” That thought scared him to death. So much so that his chest started to feel tight again like it had when he’d first gone through the portal. He liked his predictable life. He’d been happy being ignorant. All of this was so far out of his thought process. He tangled his fingers in his hair and braced his elbows on his knees. “Holy crap, I think I’m losing my mind,” he grumbled.

Soft footfalls came towards them through the trees and Willow suddenly appeared in the clearing. She stopped in front of them, but Logan didn’t look up. He only knew it was her because he recognized her shoes.

“How are you two doing?” she asked, her voice full of so much concern that it made Logan want to run away and surround himself with something entirely male. Shooting. Hunting. Fishing. Extreme sports. Anything normal. Anything from his world. Anything that wasn’t an Avari fairy.

“I’m okay,” Darien replied, “but I…” He cleared his throat. “Logan’s having a rough time, I think.”

Willow sighed. “I’m not surprised… The people are having a feast tonight. Tiyenen, being that he can never keep his mouth shut, told everyone in the village that the last two Alveda d’Kai warriors had returned to us. So…the people are basically having a huge party. You’re both the guests of honor.”

Darien chuckled. “Yeah, Miss Willow, I feel more than comfortable… I feel like I’m home.” His footsteps started to head back towards the village. “Oh, Miss Willow. What about the others back at camp?”

“Oh… All right. I wish they could be here right now. They’d all be getting a huge kick out of this… Especially Lucy.” He didn’t say anymore and continued back towards the village.

Logan became aware of Willow’s presence beside him. “Logan,” she said softly. “Are you all right?” Her arm came around his shoulders.

He swallowed, still keeping his eyes downcast. “I am about as far from all right as you can imagine,” he rasped. “I just found out I have a brother, that I’m only half human, that my brother isn’t human at all… Oh, not to mention I was the target of an assassination attempt. I still can’t quite get over that one.” He raised his head and stared into the forest. “I honestly believe that you might have even had better results if you’d told me I was an alien.”

Her smile was sympathetic and she reached up to brush back a strand of his hair. “I understand that this must be so overwhelming for you.”

He shook his head. “Willow, I have absolutely no idea who I am.” He met her eyes. “What am I supposed to do with that? I’ve been me for twenty-nine years. Now, I’m…” He held his hands out helplessly. “I don’t even know.”

“You’re still you, Logan,” she said.

He let out a frustrated snarl. “No, I’m not. I haven’t been me since that day Lucy talked to me. It all started then, this dissemblance of my character. It’s not just finding out that fairies really do exist. It’s not just finding out that there is more to the world that I originally thought. Okay, yeah, that’s hard enough to wrap my mind around, but Willow,” he looked her straight in the eye, “that is nothing compared to having everything you’ve ever been, every wall of protection you’ve ever put around yourself, get completely obliterated before you can even comprehend what’s happening. I’ve had no time to prepare. I’ve had no time to adjust. Everything I thought I knew about myself and my life was blown up and now I’m standing naked in the midst of the devastation, being forced to build a whole new person from nothing.” He shook his head. “I’m so lost and, yet…” He snorted because none of it made any sense. “Yet, some part of me, deep inside, feels like Darien. Like I’m supposed to be here.” He hung his head again, feeling lost and sick and really alone.

He closed his eyes when he felt Willow’s fingers trails through his hair. Something about that was so soothing. He expected her to give him a huge lecture telling him why he shouldn’t feel the way he was feeling, but she didn’t. She just moved closer, stroked his hair with one hand and reached down to take his hand in the other.

“Be still,” she whispered against his ear. “Be still, dragon warrior.”

That calming sensation filled him again, the waves of warm contentment. He had no idea how she did that, but it was the final straw. Her care did him in. His fingers tightened over hers and he pulled his knees up, resting his forehead against them. It wasn’t dramatic in any sense, but silent, somber tears escaped his eyes. It should have been humiliating to cry. He hadn’t cried since he was five. It should have made him feel weak, but it didn’t. It actually felt very therapeutic, like a long overdue release.

He was grateful that Willow didn’t make a big deal out of it. She just continued to caress his hair and she rested her head on his shoulder. “I don’t know you that well, Logan,” she whispered, “and when I met you I couldn’t stand you, but I’ll tell you what I know. I know that the man I met was not the real you, even if he was the you you’ve been for the last twenty-nine years. I know that the man deep inside you is strong, very strong, and that once the shock from this wears off, you will be spectacular.”

He gave a soft chuckle and reached up to wipe at his eyes. “Yeah? How do you know that?”

“I just feel it. You may have spent your life acting like a tough guy to prove that you’re strong, but I sense a different and much more powerful kind of strength in you. It’s in here.” She touched his chest where his heart was. “Embrace that and you’ll be unstoppable.”

He slid his gaze to meet hers. “Embrace my inner dragon warrior?” His voice was dry and mocking. He didn’t know how else to be.

She smirked and took his face in both of her hands. “No, Logan. Embrace the man you’ve always wanted to be, but stifled. Embrace
you
.”

Her words shot straight to the core of him and he reached out to pull her to him, burying his nose in her fiery hair. She smelled like wildflowers, so free, so untamed. It made him burn. “Thank you,” he whispered. He pulled back and stared down at her, letting his fingers trail along her jaw. “I was wrong about you too, Willow. First impressions are not always correct.”

She laughed a little. “I believe I can agree with that.”

He arched an eyebrow and stood, offering her his hand. When she took it he pulled her up and against him, drawling a startled gasp from her that made him grin. “Does that mean you can get rid of the buzzards in that fantasy of yours then?”

She laughed and it eased the tension out of her body so that she went pliant against him. “I suppose I can do away with the buzzards.” She fixed him with a pointed expression. “For now.”

He smiled, then sighed and sobered. “I guess I’ll go make an appearance at this thing also,” he surrendered. “I can’t really sit in the forest all night long.”

She smiled and nudged him playfully as they started back towards the village. “Come on, Logan,” she teased. “You love to be the center of attention.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but found that he couldn’t. It was the truth. No sense in arguing about it.

Chapter Sixteen

Logan tried to keep his mind quiet during the feast that Willow’s people had prepared for him and Darien. He tried to just take everything in stride. It was difficult at first, especially when everyone kept staring at him like he’d just descended from heaven. He was usually all for people treating him like he was a god, but with a bunch of fairies looking at him like he was some sort of chosen one, he found it generally unnerving.

He and Darien were stuck at the head and foot of an enormous banquet table that had been put up in the courtyard of the Royal House. There were several other tables set up also, all decorated in elaborate flower arrangements. Logan had no idea who cooked the food, but he ate until he was stuffed and drank enough wine to finally loosen up and relax.

After dinner, a few men struck up some lively music and everyone started to dance and join in general merrymaking, all of which made Logan feel like he had managed to wander his way into some kind of bizarre Shakespearean play. Darien happily joined a few of the ladies that made up his growing fan group and danced with all of them repeatedly, but Logan was no dancer and was even less in the mood.

He grabbed another goblet of wine and meandered through the courtyard, finally taking a seat on a tree stump and trying to hide as best he could. It was so unlike him. He was somebody always in the spotlight, always trying to get attention. He had no desire to be the focal point tonight. His faux layer of confidence had been shattered by a bunch of teenagers and an evil fairy with a three generation grudge. Now all he really wanted to do was be left alone until he could figure out what in the heck he was feeling… Aside from everything at once.

“Are you really an Alveda d’Kai?” a small, awestruck voice came.

Logan looked over to see a group of kids standing next to him. A little boy and girl who looked around ten, a small girl of maybe five and two other boys, one around twelve and the other around eight. He sighed. What was it with him and kids all of a sudden? “That’s what they tell me,” he grumbled.

“Are you really part human?” the little girl questioned with wide, blue eyes.

Logan frowned, wondering why that would even be intriguing, but he guessed that, to a fairy, humans might be interesting. He nodded. “I definitely am.”

The children all gave a collective gasp.

“My mommy says that humans are dangerous,” the little girl murmured. “Are they really?”

Logan couldn’t help but smile. He set his goblet of wine down and leaned forward on his knees so that he could look the little girl directly in the eye. “Sometimes,” he whispered.

She drew in a startled breath and backed away.

Logan chuckled and held his arm out. “I’m not, though,” he assured with a warm smile. He motioned her to come closer and he found his own behavior odd. He had never been good with kids. He’d never liked kids. He’d always thought they were more of a nuisance than anything else. He had no idea why he was suddenly being friendly, but he tried not to dwell on it. Willow told him to embrace the man he was inside, not the man he had been. In order to do that, he needed to trust his instincts. They were strong and hadn’t lied to him yet. They’d warned him that danger was near Willow the night Cyrcinus had attacked him in his sleep, and they’d warned him when he’d seen “Circe” outside of Willow’s cabin. He just hadn’t listened… And he’d gotten poisoned. He figured his instincts must know what they were talking about, so he tried his best just to go in the direction they nudged.