Wasted (27 page)

When he called out the numbers, I quickly
ended the call and dialed the number.

“
Hello?”

“
Seren?”

“
Yeah?”

“
It’s Mason.”

“
Cambridge?” Her voice was
filled with surprise.

“
Yes.” I had no desire to
make this conversation last any longer than necessary. “I need to
speak to Lexi. I thought you might know where she is.”

“
It’s about damn time,” she
muttered under her breath. Raising her voice back to normal levels,
she continued, “Yeah, she said something about going to a swimming
hole. She didn’t say where, though. Said it was somewhere you had
taken her.”

“
Is she still
there?”

“
She left here about thirty
minutes ago. As far as I know, that’s where she is.”

“
Thanks,” I said, sincerely
meaning it. “I owe you a drink.”

“
I’ll be in to collect. Now
hurry up before she leaves.”

Hanging up, I slid my phone back in my
pocket while I raced back in the apartment to grab my truck keys. I
rushed across town, keeping my foot pressed against the gas pedal
in hopes that I would get there before she left.

As the truck weaved and bobbed along the
dirt road, I searched for any signs of her vehicle. Once I finally
made it to the end of the road near the creek, I saw it, parked on
the grassy edge of the road. Relieved, I felt the tension drain
from my body as I got out of the truck and began to walk along the
narrow, worn path.

It didn’t take me long to spot her, sitting
with her back to me on a large, flat rock that jutted over the
creek. Her bare legs were extended out in front of her as she
leaned back against her outstretched arms.

Not wanting to terrify her, I intentionally
made noise, kicking a rock into the overgrown weeds as I headed
toward her. She turned in my direction, and once she spotted me,
she rose to her feet.

“
What are you doing here?”
I could hear the aggravation in her voice. She wasn’t happy to see
me.

“
I came to talk to you.” I
watched as she looked away, the wind lifting her long dark hair off
her shoulders.

“
I told you that I didn’t
want to talk.”

“
And I just told you that I
did.”

Her lips thinned. “So talk. Tell me how the
minute I left, you ran back to your ex-wife.” Her eyes narrowed as
she drank in my appearance. “Or maybe you were with her all along.
Why else would you be giving her money?”

I shifted my stance. “So that’s it? You’ve
already judged me based on a mistake that I made a long time
ago?”

A flicker of regret crossed her face. “Maybe
things would be different if I hadn’t had a relationship that ended
the same way.” She exhaled. “I know you’ve been disappointed in me,
too. Maybe I should’ve told you about my deal with Spanky as soon
as I found out how much you wanted the bar.” She lowered her gaze
to the ground. “I know how much it hurts to miss out on something
that you really want because I really wanted something, too.”

“
And what was
that?”

“
You.” She lifted her eyes,
her gaze meeting mine. “I wanted you.”

Her simple confession resonated inside my
body, making a profound impact as it touched something deep inside
my soul. After years of bitter loneliness, I knew that one of
life’s greatest gifts was to be wanted.

“
Lexi,” I whispered, taking
a step toward her.

“
No!” she shouted, holding
her hand out in front of her, signaling me to stop. “I deserve a
man who can love me,
only
me
, a man who will
cherish me the way I’ll cherish him, a man who will put my
happiness ahead of his own, the same way I’d be willing to put his
happiness ahead of my own.”

“
I can be that
man.”

A laugh of disbelief escaped her lips. “No,
you can’t. You wanted Rachel. You got her.”

“
I haven’t wanted Rachel
for a very long time.”

“
And that would explain why
I came home to find her in your arms!” she yelled, her voice
cracking with emotion.

“
Just calm down.” I took
another step toward her.

“
No!” she screamed. “I
won’t calm down. I’m angry, Mason. I’m angry that after everything
I went through with Kevin, I let myself love you. But you’re just
like him.”

I closed my eyes against her allegations. As
much as I didn’t want it to be true, I couldn’t deny it. And
whether it’d been my intention or not, I’d hurt her.

Her soft sobs tugged at my soul, and I
opened my eyes, desperately wanting to take her in my arms and
soothe her. I motioned for her to come to me, but she stood her
ground. “I’m not proud of what I did,” I said, “and if I could go
back and change things I would. But I can’t. And I’m not making
excuses for my behavior, but I want you to understand what
happened, Lex.”

“
It doesn’t matter.” She
waved her hand between the two of this. “This is over.”

“
This isn’t over,” I
roared, refusing to accept her declaration.

Her full lips pressed into a thin line, and
her dark eyes glared at me. “It is,” she said softly.

She brushed past me, and I reached out and
grabbed her arm, swinging her around to confront me. “I’m not
letting you go.”

“
You’re hurting my arm,”
she whispered between clenched teeth.

My eyes dropped to where my fingers wrapped
around her flesh. Reluctantly, I released her. “At least talk to
me, Lexi.”

Tears glittered in her eyes. “I can’t. Not
right now.”

“
I have to work tonight,” I
said with more calmness that I felt. “Will you be home when I get
off?”

She hugged her torso, her body rocking
slightly as she contemplated my request.

“
Please, Lexi.”

“
I don’t think I can do
that,” she whispered, and then she turned and walked
away.

I watched her as she made her way along the
path at the edge of the bank, the wind whipping her hair into a
frenzy. Rustling leaves warned of the storm that brewed in the
horizon. The soft gurgle of the creek lent tranquility to the
atmosphere, but I was feeling anything but tranquil.

That girl had cast some kind of voodoo spell
on me, and everything in me wanted to charge after her like a lion
marking his territory. But I knew that it would only push her
further away.

As rage and frustration churned within me, I
watched her slender form as she retreated.

Grasping the nape of my neck, I grunted. As
usual, nothing was working the way I’d hoped.

Chapter
22

Angel’s Kiss

Lexi

Fat raindrops pelted against the windshield,
and my wipers were no match for nature’s fury. With practically no
visibility, I pulled into the parking lot of a strip mall and
waited out the storm. Lightning sizzled through the ominous gray
clouds and a deafening boom of thunder echoed through the air.

Turning off the ignition, my thoughts
quickly turned to Mason. The vulnerability on his face when he
pleaded with me to be home tonight haunted me. I knew he had
memories that tortured him, and I assumed in one way or another
most people did. Walking in on Kevin when he was pounding into
another woman, her nails digging into his back as she moaned
softly, had permanently been burned into my brain. I had replayed
that moment a thousand times, and it was always accompanied with
nausea, hurt, and a whole lot of hatred.

I didn’t think I could survive another
episode like that, and knowing Mason had hurt someone like that,
too….

But I’d seen him when he was defenseless,
too drunk to effectively mask his emotions. I’d held him when his
tormented soul begged for relief, for some touch of comfort. And
I’d wanted to be the one to ease his pain, to soothe him, to help
him cope.

My head screamed to stay away from him, to
get my stuff out of his apartment and terminate our personal
relationship. But my heart butted in, whispering that maybe he’d
already suffered enough for his mistake, that maybe his experience
had been a hard lesson for him.

Did he deserve a chance to explain? Was I
being callous by holding all his past mistakes against him in the
name of protecting myself?

I sat in my car a long time, hidden by the
sheets of water that sluiced over the windows. By the time the rain
relented to a soft drizzle, Mason should have already been at work.
The apartment should be empty.

Cranking the engine, I maneuvered my car
through the flash floods and went home.

The apartment was a wreck. Empty whiskey
bottles littered the kitchen counter, and the sink was full of
dirty dishes. I assumed it’d been this way yesterday, but I hadn’t
bothered to look. After Mason had stormed out, I’d gone straight to
my room, gathered up clean clothes, and left.

Loading the dishwasher, I was relieved to
have something to occupy me. As I diligently cleaned the kitchen,
it felt nice to be doing something useful, to feel needed.

After burning a couple of more hours with
housework, I flipped on the television and collapsed in the
recliner. I hadn’t slept well all week, and I yawned. As much as I
would have liked to take a nap, I knew any attempt at sleeping
would be futile. My nerves were on edge, a guaranteed side effect
when I was involved in controversy.

With my mind whirling, I couldn’t
concentrate on television, so I opted for my old standby—

more cleaning. After scrubbing my bathroom
and cleaning my bedroom, I took a hot shower. By the time I
blow-dried my hair, the sun had given way to the moon. Peeking
through the blinds, I gazed at the complex. Random porch lights
twinkled into the darkness, flying insects hovering around them in
aerial displays.

It was getting late enough that I needed to
make a decision. Should I stay here and talk to Mason, or should I
return to Seren’s before he had time to get home?

Technically, it would be the middle of the
night before he finished his shift, but if I chose to return to
Seren’s, I feared that dallying here any longer would run the risk
of me accidentally dozing off and being here when he came home. I
didn’t want to give him false hope. If I was here when he got off
work, it would be because I really did want to talk to him.

And the truth was I missed him.

I missed the giddy feeling of being in his
arms. I missed his company, his warmth, his infectious grins.

I missed the happiness, the contentment that
I felt when he was near.

I was the kind of girl who would give a man
everything, my heart, my soul. If only I could know whether he was
capable of doing the same for me….

Devastation was the only reward I had reaped
for committing myself to Kevin, and I was terrified that it could
happen again.

What could it hurt to hear him out?

I knew I wanted to and had probably known it
all along. My heart screamed louder than my head, and I wasn’t sure
whether that was a good thing.

Lying on my bed, I closed my eyes, hoping to
get some rest before he got home. But as the minutes ticked by, I
wished he was already with me.

Slipping out of my room, I moseyed across
the hall and gazed into his room. His bed was a rumpled mess, and I
couldn’t help the small smile that touched my lips. He normally was
a little cleaner than a typical man, but the state of the apartment
made me wonder if our argument had affected him as much as it had
me. I wanted to think so.

With the intention of straightening his
covers, I approached his bed. I could smell his cologne, and I
lifted his pillow to my nose and inhaled deeply. Caught off guard
by the tears that filled my eyes, I quickly swiped them away.
Climbing into the bed, I settled into the center of the mattress,
pulling the comforter up to my chin. It was the closest I’d been to
being in his arms in over a week. We had a lot of things to
discuss, but until then, I was just going to close my eyes and rest
just a few minutes where I could feel close to him without his
knowing it.

Mason

Driving home was a nightmare. High water had
covered part of the small side roads that led from Spanky’s to my
apartment complex. While I wasn’t afraid to navigate through it in
my truck, I had to wait for several drivers in front of me to
maneuver around each other as they turned their cars around in
search of more favorable roads to travel.

By the time I pulled into the parking lot in
front of my apartment building, I was exhausted and ill-tempered.
As much as I hoped to find Lexi there, she’d given me no indication
that she would be, not even a hint that she’d think about it. Even
so, I was still eager to get home to see for myself.

If she wasn’t there, then I’d call her in
the morning and try again. When I’d told her that I wasn’t letting
her go, I’d meant it. I was determined to find some way to work
things out between the two of us.

As soon as I walked in, I knew she’d been in
the apartment. It smelled like lemons, and I sure as hell hadn’t
used any lemon-scented cleansers lately. Flipping on the living
room light, I could immediately tell the kitchen had been cleaned.
I wondered whether she was still here or whether she’d already left
again.

I turned on the hall light and paused
outside her door. Was she asleep? Being careful not to wake her, I
gently opened her door, peering inside. Her bed was empty.