We Are Not Good People (Ustari Cycle) (7 page)

The moment my hands were in place, Hiram began to whisper. He spoke rapidly, without any breaks between the syllables. I didn’t recognize anything; it wasn’t a spell he’d ever shown me. A phrase here and there leaped out, familiar as Hiram’s personal shorthand for things, little sub-spells he’d honed to a precise few sounds and passed down to me. I struggled not to doze as he spoke, and then he was done, sooner than I would have expected for a spell that required two pints. I felt the familiar cold radiation move past me, and for a second nothing happened.

Then I
was
the Skinny Fuck. And I knew
everything
.

5.
HE HAD ALWAYS BEEN SMART.
School had been easy, and he remembered laughing at the idiots who had to study, to work so hard when it was so
easy
. It was all just showing up. He didn’t get perfect grades, true, but he passed, and he thought it was a good trade, to skip all the hard work and have the same piece of paper as everyone else at the end.

He’d always been smart. So it had been a dismaying mystery that he was also so damned
unlucky
.

He remembered ducking into Keens on Thirty-Sixth Street after the blowout with Roger—the pompous ass who didn’t understand what he brought to the firm, the spark he contributed. His numbers were low, but so were everyone’s! It was a tough time, and Roger had been riding him harder than everyone else because they didn’t get along. If the Swanson swap had gone the way it was supposed to, Roger would have been forced to eat crow and suck up to him a little. Instead, bad luck had shot the deal to hell, and he was out of a job.

Bad luck. It followed him everywhere. He wandered into Keens—an odd choice, since he didn’t like steakhouses or their fussy wood-and-brass bars, and he was getting a little thick around the middle, a little jowly. It had been salads and diet soda for a week trying to trim down. But he felt drawn to this place and ordered a whiskey, thinking about all his bad luck. The deals that should have worked; the investments that had tanked.

Even letting Miranda answer the phone that night—sheer bad luck had killed his marriage.

And now the bad luck had doubled, because Mir was soaking him for every dime he didn’t have. He couldn’t get any traction. He couldn’t cook up a pot to work with, something to spread around and get going.

He considered the possibility of asking his mother for a loan. The humiliation of being supported by an old woman, a woman who had been so
careful
her whole life. He’d detested the caution she brought to every decision, the exhausting thought she put into
everything
. He remembered hating her every time she’d taken him out to eat as an adult, the way she sat there doing the math for a tip. A modest, low-end tip that she calculated to the penny. When he went out, he made a point of tossing money on the table, of signing the credit slip with “50%” on the tip line, not even bothering to figure out the amount. The idea of begging his mother for a loan made him queasy.

The good-looking black fellow started talking to him, and he should have been annoyed, but the guy had this voice like silk in oil, nice to listen to. They started trading rounds, and he thought maybe his luck was looking up, because this guy was talking about a job. He thought,
That’s how it goes for me.
Feeling confident, expansive. Some people panicked, worked like dogs, and all they got was stress. He got fired through bad fucking luck, but he got hired immediately by a man wearing a five-thousand-dollar suit—because the suit could smell talent.

The man asked him,
What do you deserve?
And the man answered for him:
Everything
.

The man asked him,
Why don’t you get it?
And the man answered for him:
Jealousy
.

He nodded, agreeable, working on his fifth drink and feeling good, optimistic. Here at last was someone who understood how things worked, who would be amenable. Here was someone who would give him the yardage to make a run for things, who would be happy to let him make his own way. Everything was finally working out. He accepted the position on the spot, despite having some misgivings about the vagueness of the job description. He asked when he should start, and his new employer waved him off, handing him a small box wrapped in raucous gift paper, a large black bow on top.

“You are a man of rare vintage,” his new boss said, and he would always remember these words, even though much of the rest of the conversation was blurry or simply vanished from his memory. “You are pliable but not breakable.”

He took the gift and held it wonderingly. What was it? He would find out.

The meeting was over. Had it been a meeting? An interview? He didn’t know and didn’t care. He went home filled with the certainty that everything was falling into place at last. He felt unrestrained. Smarter than everyone else. He rode the subway home, scanning owlishly around him, pitying these poor fools who worked so hard but didn’t have the presence of mind—the
talent
—to pick the right bar, at the right time, and overlook their prejudices to talk to the right person.

At home, his bare-bones studio, half filled with brown boxes, everything Miranda had left after her voracious picking over of his bones, he fixed himself another stiff drink and opened the box while sitting on the hard, uncomfortable sofa. It was a piece of jewelry, he saw. A piece of green stone on a leather string. He stared at it, frowning. He’d expected a watch or a tie pin, something classy. Valuable. Well, he thought, the stone
might
be valuable, though he didn’t find it attractive at all. It looked waxy, slick, and he hesitated to touch it. His head ached when he looked at it too long, and he considered just closing the box
and forgetting about it, but he felt that he’d made a promise; he’d accepted the gift and did not wish to offend his new employer by disdaining it. So he lifted it by the loop and slipped it around his neck, letting the surprisingly heavy stone fall against his white shirt, which he suddenly noticed was stained red and brown in places.

The stone touched him through his shirt and spoke to him.

He remembered the first touch well, differently every time. It was revolting, like a snail moving across your belly. It was exhilarating, like an alcohol rub on a hot day. It was cold, freezing, like it had been locked in a refrigerator for days. It was hot and burning, and he was afraid his skin had blistered.

He always remembered the voice. It was a flat whisper in his head. No tone, no stress, just a monotone of quiet words. They began midstream, as if he were listening in on a conversation that had been going on forever before he arrived and would go on forever after he left.

He tore the stone off, tossed it to the floor, panting.

He was a man of varied experience. He’d seen things. He knew things. He
understood
things, not like the rubes he rubbed elbows with. He
appreciated
things because he’d taken pains to broaden himself. He’d left behind the wood-paneled bars of his father, the five-and-dime stores on Central Avenue, the family restaurants with the menu on the place mats. He’d left it behind and sought adventure, knowledge,
experience
.

This, however, was outside his experience, and he sat on the edge of the sofa staring at the stone, heart pounding, wondering if he’d really heard what he’d heard. He wanted to touch it again, see what it said. He wanted to throw it away and never see it again.

He got on his knees and crawled over to the necklace, reached out, and took the stone between his finger and thumb.

Instantly, the voice was back in his head. It was in the middle of a sentence again, as if it continued speaking whether he was listening or not. The stone seemed to squirm in his fingers, and eventually he realized that he’d been listening to it for some time, just sitting on the floor,
eyes open but not seeing anything. He shook himself and was about to drop it, to go fix himself a real drink and think about it, when the voice in his head seemed to focus, suddenly become
aware
of him.

And the voice began to tell him wonderful things.

THE VOICE CHANGED HIS
luck. It told him everything he’d always wanted to know. It told him which stocks were going up or down. It told him which horses were winners. It told him which corner to catch a cab on, which suit to wear, what to say to women. It told him who was plotting against him and how to deal with them. It told him everything he’d ever wanted to know, and suddenly he was on a roll.

He didn’t enjoy his work. At first, with the stone whispering in his ear, he felt important. His employer had swagger; the people he dealt with now knew the name and shrank back from it, and he laughed at them. They were terrified of his boss, but hadn’t he sat in a bar with the man, an equal? Trading jokes and making conversation, being taken seriously? Like equals? He’d enjoyed walking into rooms and making them all squirm when he came for the girls.

The girls. At first he’d been outraged, alarmed, afraid. He’d imagined himself behind a big desk, making decisions, maybe with a nice wet bar. A big shot. Instead, it was . . . messy. And certainly illegal. And
work
. He didn’t like how they struggled, how they begged him to leave them alone, how they whimpered. The first few times he’d thought about driving to a police station, telling them everything. He dreamed about the girls at night and woke up sobbing out apologies.

Each time he thought of turning himself in, he would touch the stone. And the voice would tell him something wonderful, and he would forget all about it. And then the voice explained the rules to him. They were special, the girls. They had been
prepared
, and it was his solemn task to ensure that they made it to his employer in pristine condition. There were rules. He didn’t understand them all, but he followed them carefully, because the voice told him to. Some of the girls had to be disposed of, some he never saw again. There were certain
streets to avoid. He could never speak to them—he could speak
about
them, in the third person, but not
to
them.
She gets in the car and doesn’t speak.
He was allowed to use physical force, if necessary—and sometimes they were not docile—but he could never draw blood or break the skin in any way. Never. The voice told him that if he ever cut a girl, even accidentally, his employer would be enraged. He sometimes put them in the trunk when they were less than enthusiastic. But he was always careful with them. Sometimes when he needed to get rid of one, he had a place he used for temporary storage until he could do the deed, but basically, he tried to get it all over with as quickly as possible.

After a while, he tried not to think about the girls. Sometimes, with the voice just a low-voltage whisper in the background while he bought expensive dinners and rounds of drinks for people, while he lived it up, he would think of them, all of them a type: a certain height, a certain shape, not so young at first but getting younger. He found them where the voice told him to look, he grabbed them, and he delivered them. And never saw them again, and he tried not to think about that. Instead, he listened to the wonderful things the voice was always telling him—secrets, unbidden, little gossipy bits, and sometimes he could even see the secrets played out in his head like some sort of psychic television. He enjoyed always knowing more than everyone else. He woke up sometimes in the middle of the night, sweating, the stone burning against his chest, the voice whispering on and on. Whenever this happened, he was nauseated and uneasy.

ONE DAY, WITHOUT ANY
warning, the voice started telling him things he didn’t want to know.

It still told him what he needed to know. It kept his luck up, kept him one step ahead of everyone else. But now and then, out of nowhere, it told him terrible things. Things that embedded themselves in his head and festered. Images—skeletons in the street, still clothed as if everyone had simply dropped dead. A woman in a red dress, floating, her face a mask of artificial horror. A tiny black box, delicate, ornate
with an inlaid design he couldn’t quite discern, but which filled him with dread.

The ideas were worse; the images were frozen, and he found ways to ignore them. The ideas were worse.

His thoughts centered on them and fixated. He toyed with the concepts and imagined them in action, spiraling around, extrapolating terrible things. The ideas were
definitely
worse.

It told him what was in the food on his plate, and he lost his appetite. It told him what people did in private, when no one could be looking, and he stopped wanting to see his friends. It told him what people were really thinking of him as they sat there smiling and sopping up the drinks he’d bought for them, and it soured evening after evening after evening.

And still, the girls. Every week two or three, picked up and ferried to the mansion out in Jersey. Some were obviously drugged, barely coherent, unaware. Some were alert and terrified but resigned. Some fought. The voice told him things about them, too. It told him what happened to them when he dropped them off, which he did not like, and it told him about their lives before, which he liked even less. Some he never saw, some spent time in the tub.

He started binding all of them and putting them in his trunk as a policy, so he wouldn’t have to look at them too much.

He bought cars, drove them for a week, and bought new ones. He bought houses, four of them, one on a private beach in Florida he’d been to just once, when actually buying it. He bought suits and clothes and refused to let the tailor take them in—he’d always been a big man, and his suits fit just fine. He bought lavish dinners he didn’t eat: he bought entire bars rounds of drinks. He was flush. With what the voice told him, he was flush and getting flusher, money just pouring in.

At night he lay awake, listening. The nights slowly became the worst. During the day, the voice was often reasonable and helpful, still guiding him. At night, with no change in tone, it whispered nightmarish things to him, endlessly, tirelessly, informing him of every cruelty
in range, every private crime. It told him how he might murder, rape, steal, and get away with it, perfect plans he knew would work flawlessly. He stopped sleeping. He thought about removing the stone when he went to bed, but the idea of not having it against his skin horrified him even more.