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Authors: Leslie Gilbert Elman

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Weird But True


and Totally
Off the Wall

Leslie Gilbert Elman

© 2010 by Leslie Gilbert Elman

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission from the publisher.

Book design by James Sarfati

Fall River Press
122 Fifth Avenue
New York, NY 10011

ISBN: 978-1-4351-3697-7
Sterling ISBN 13: 978-1-4351-3697-7

ruth is stranger than
   Fiction, but it is because
    Fiction is obliged to stick
     to possibilities, Truth isn't.”

— Mark Twain



You Wash, I'll Dry

Don't Answer That

What's the Frequency, Earth?

Fueling Fossils

Lightning in the Desert

The 2,000-Year-Old Poop

More Poop

Dig It

Island Time

Late Bloomer

Stinko Ginkgo

Still Standing

Color My World

Red, Red Dye

Whiter Than White

Shame, Shame!

It All Went Sour

The Price of Spice

Put Some Pepper on It

I Do

Boys and Girls Together

We're All Ladies Here

Sharks are Doin' It For Themselves

Love Bites

That's Harsh

Dark and Deep

Life as We Are Getting to Know It

Trial Blazing

In an Absolute World

Absolute Hotness

To a Degree

Hot Topic

Cold Comfort

Not as Clear as You'd Think

Listen When Wet

Brr. . . Sounds Cold

Have You Ever Heard the Rain?

Raindrops Keep Fallin'

The Sound We All Hate

The Ultimate Playlist

Dance Party

Right-Hand Turn

Which Side Are You On?

Leaning Left

Stay in Your Own Lane

That One's Ours

Clean Up Your Junk

Now Look What You've Done!

Bang! Zoom!

That's Ours, Too

For Future Generations

Another Fine Mess

And Yet Another. . .

Ooh! That Smell

Scent of a Crime

Sniffing Out the Enemy

Uncommon Senses

In the Mood for Love

One Last Kiss

No Spit!

Lullaby. . .

. . .And Good Night

Sleep Tight

Don't Let the Bedbugs Bite!

Bugging Out

Name It and Claim It

Creepy Crawlies

There's a Word for It

A Dollar and a Dream

Family Business

99 and 44/100 Percent Pure

It Floats

That Was Quick

Take It Slow

Built for Speed

Red Means Stop

The Fast and the Furious

Cuts Like a Knife


It Was a Very Good Year

Pops Like a Bubble

Reason to Celebrate

Piece of Pi

Emerald Island

Fire Down Below

Hot Foot

On Your Toes

This Little Piggy

And This Little Piggy. . .

This Little Lizard

Talkin' 'bout Regeneration

Plain as the Nose on Your Face

Long Live the King (or Queen)


Louis, Louis

Walk the Walk

Sleep the Sleep


Don't Eat That!

Take That

Whose Flus?

I Caught it from My Horse

The Mosquito Nose

Last Bite

You're Killin' Me!

Large and Lethal

Blood, Sweat, and Sunscreen

Sensitive Skin

Picture This

High Fives

Loose Change

What the L?

Three Rs in Andorra

Poetic Idol

It Could Be Verse

And the Tweet Goes On. . .

A Long, Long Time

Tell It Like It Is

Inner Vision

Sight to See

Multiplying Like Rabbits

Who's Your Mama?

Who's Your Daddy?

Fear the Frog

Itty-Bitty Critters

Between the Shells

Wisdom of Pearls

Hot Ice

The Pain of Price

Hanging Empty

Artistic Irony

The Disappearing Doctor

On the Dot

The Art of War

Peace in Our Time

Error of Omission

Colors of India

Seeing Red (and White and Blue)

There's a Word for This, Too

What's Behind That Curtain?

Introducing Romeo and Juliet

No Girls Allowed

Vive la Difference

It's Curtains for You!

Just Dessert

New Word Order

Top Cats

Maybe “Mr. Cat” Isn't Such a Bad Name

Aren't You Glad You Know. . .

Starts With P

Ends With U

Two's Company

Oh, K

Okay, Kr

Greetings from Krypton

Pocketful of Kryptonite

Not Okay

Oh, K2

Be Careful Up There

A New Level of Clean

Point of View

Ups and Downs

Recalculating Route

In Space and Time

The Space Between Us

Can You Hear Me Now?

What Did You Say?

I Can't Understand You

We Don't Use That Sort of Language

It's Official

You Can Say That Again

Sing It Loud. . . Or Not

Words Can't Express

I Hear That

This Is So Disgusting We Can't Even Believe We're Writing It

Now the Good News

Write On

Closed Captions

Prehistoric Primping

Covering Grays

Pale by Comparison

Red Roots

Big Red

Redheads Rule

Mama Said Knock You Out

. . .And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Germs

Sticking Around

Not Dead Yet

Do as I Say, Not as I Do

And That's the Truth

Department of Hair-Splitting

Your Lying Smile

A Lie of the Mind

Brain Drain

Remembrance of Places Passed

This Looks Familiar

Haven't We Been Here Before?

Repeat That

Never Seen That Before

Been There, Done That

ll the wild fantasies dreamed up by novelists, artists, and filmmakers, often don't compare to the oddball discoveries made every year by researchers around the world. Nobody would believe a novel that included a suicidal tree—but you can see one for yourself in Madagascar. A film that featured a floating raft of garbage the size of Texas would seem fantastic—scientists say there's one in the Pacific Ocean that's
at least
that large.

If you're fascinated by the strange, unusual, and unexplainable truths of our world (and who isn't?), just turn the page…

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