He rolled his eyes. “It’s for sale, I have
money, I need a source of income.”
Her stomach tightened. Those were the last
words she expected him to say. “What? Why?”
“I resigned from my job. I don’t want to
travel anymore. It’s too hard on Max, too hard on my folks. I don’t
want to get a nanny. I talked to Quinn, and what he clears is
enough for me to live on. And Max loves it here.” He met her gaze
and held it.
She got the feeling he wanted to say more,
but she didn’t encourage him. “Are you sure you’ll be happy here?
It’s not very adventurous, and the winters are bad, and damn it,
Quinn doesn’t want to sell.”
He placed her bottle cautiously in front of
her again. “What are you talking about? Of course he does.”
“No he doesn’t. He’s in love with Lily.
Otherwise do you think he’d put up with all this?” She gestured
toward the stage where the band was warming up. “He just doesn’t
know how to be happy.”
Leo scowled. “You’re reading too much into
it. Maybe he likes her, but if he did, would he have the bar up for
sale?”
“Let me ask you this.” She folded her arms on
the table. “Has he accepted your offer yet?”
His scowl deepened. “No, but he said he’s
waiting on his real estate agent to come back from vacation.”
She straightened, triumphant. “So he’s
putting you off. I think he’s trying to force Lily to admit her own
feelings.”
“And she won’t, why?”
“I don’t know. We haven’t really discussed
it.” And really, did she want to be talking about Lily’s issues
when she had her own? Though it felt good not to wallow for a
change.
“You didn’t come to the game Thursday,” he
said, bringing her right back to Wallow Country again. “And then no
movie last night. Were you avoiding me?”
“Yep.” She took a sip of pop that did nothing
to calm her nerves.
“We need to talk, but this isn’t the place.”
He glanced toward the stage.
“If this isn’t the place to talk, then let’s
not talk,” she said tartly.
He reached across the table and took her
hand. “It is the place to dance, though. I promised you a
dance.”
She didn’t think she could bear to be in his
arms, not being so unsure about his feelings, about their future,
but she let him lead her onto the make-shift dance floor anyway. In
addition to the stage and a few picnic tables, the men of the town
had built a raised platform to be used as the dance floor, since
gravel was hardly conducive to grace. Trinity and Leo were the
first ones on it tonight, and she squirmed under the scrutiny. They
were seen as a couple by now, but did he still want to be? Maybe
they should go talk now. She didn’t think she could bear waiting
until tomorrow.
But then she was in Leo’s arms, his hands on
her hips so she had to put her own around his neck, bringing her
too close. She dared to look in his eyes for a moment and saw the
familiar heat. Of course he could desire her though he no longer
wanted a future with her. She desired him without knowing the
future. She resisted the urge to burrow into him, to hope that
everything would sort itself out. Instead she let him guide her
across the floor in a decent rhythm while others joined them. His
fingers flexed on her hips, drawing her closer, out of someone’s
way, she realized, but she leaned into him, looked up into his
gaze, and saw regret.
That, she couldn’t deal with. She broke away
and hurried off the floor without looking back.
***
She wished she was brave enough to skip
church the next morning. One thing she could be grateful for was
that she didn’t have morning sickness yet. At least she could keep
her secret a little longer.
She accompanied her family and was stunned to
see Leo and Max sitting in the back of their church, dressed in
suits and ties. Leo’s parents didn’t attend any church, and Leo
hadn’t since he’d been back. So what changed?
Her mother noticed his presence as well and
sent her a chiding look, like this was her idea. No, the last place
she expected to see Leo was here. Why? And with Max—no chance that
they’d have their talk earlier than scheduled. No, she’d have to
spend the rest of the weekend with her stomach in knots.
She barely heard her brother’s sermon on
stewardship because her thoughts were occupied with Leo. Whenever
she gave into the temptation to glance over her shoulder, her
mother jabbed her with a hymnal. But she did see that Max and Leo
were joined by Quinn, who had clearly given them the dress code
that no one else followed but her father.
When the service was over, she waited before
exiting, hoping they’d be gone, but of course they weren’t. They
were here because of her.
“We thought maybe you could go to lunch with
us before practice,” Max said, stepping forward at his father’s
urging.
“I—why?” she asked, turning from Max to
Leo.
“Because you have to eat and we have to
eat.”
But they couldn’t talk, not with Max. They
had so much to talk about. Still, she couldn’t resist the longing
to spend time with them, no matter what she and Leo might decide
later. She nodded and they walked to Leo’s SUV.
“You missed a good show last night,” Leo said
as she sipped her ice water at the diner in Wilson, which was noisy
with the after church crowd. “A lot of people did. That band was
good.”
“Have you gotten someone for Memorial Day
yet?” she asked.
“I have a couple on the string. I kinda have
a standard I want to meet, because even though we’re cutting the
ticket prices by seventy five percent, I want the band to be a good
draw.”
“And how is that working? Are a lot of people
still planning to come up?”
“Yeah. It’s helping that Lily is throwing
together a chili cook-off. We talked about a fishing competition
but my dad says fishing won’t be good for another couple of months.
And some of the ladies are working on a craft show for that
weekend.”
She’d heard about the craft show, and had
been asked to recruit crafters from nearby towns, though it was
last-minute. “It’s going to be a crazy weekend. You have a game
that weekend, too, don’t you?” she asked Max.
He shrugged.
“That Monday,” Leo answered. “Against Wilson
again. Don’t know how that happened.”
“Well, you know more now than you did
then.”
“Let’s hope. We’re thinking about getting up
a game for the adults afterwards. You up for that?”
“Not sure. The end of the school year is
coming and I may just want to collapse, or I may need to hit a ball
really hard.”
Leo grinned as their lunch was served.
***
He picked her up at five thirty, after
practice and helping Quinn dismantle the stage and dance floor. He
wanted to ask Quinn if Trinity was right, if Quinn really wanted to
stay here with Lily, but it was none of his business.
Trinity was jittery from the moment she
stepped out of the house. Something was wrong and he thought it was
more than just his reaction to her revelation. She was the shadow
of the woman he’d fallen for, the woman who’d made him consider
changing his whole life to move here.
He knew he hadn’t handled things well when he
learned about her daughter but he hoped she’d give him a chance to
talk things through. They just hadn’t found a good time, until
now.
Maybe coming to her church had been a
mistake. She was so uncomfortable. He should have talked to her
first. He hated that she was nervous with him. Tonight would be
better. It had to be.
He held the car door for her and she offered
a small smile as she settled on the seat, her hands smoothing over
the thighs of her slacks. Not a good sign.
The ride to Wilson was quiet with just a bit
of conversation about Memorial Day. He thought she’d ask why he’d
been at church that morning. Hell, he wished he had an answer for
her. He just wanted to see her, wanted to show her he was ready to
become part of the community, of her community. He supposed he
should have waited until they talked. Otherwise he was giving her
mixed signals. Well. He’d clear that up over dinner.
He ordered a bottle of wine in the little
Italian restaurant he’d heard about, but she declined a glass. He
frowned. “Trinity, look, I know I wasn’t sensitive when you told me
about your daughter. I was caught off guard. I don’t want you to
hold it against me.”
She swept her hair back from her face as the
server set a basket of sourdough bread in front of her. “Maybe this
isn’t the place to talk, either.”
He glanced about at the empty tables in the
vicinity. “I think we’ll be all right.” He wanted to reach for her
hand but stopped himself. There was a wall here, erected by him,
but he didn’t know how to knock it down. “We have a lot to talk
about.”
“Boy, do we.” She reached for a piece of
bread and crumbled it on the plate in front of her.
Leo shifted his glass of wine from one side
of his plate to the other, wishing she’d drink some as well,
wondering why she didn’t. He took a deep breath and charged
forward. “I shouldn’t have left after I found out about your baby.
I made a mistake there, I acted badly. I was just surprised—I never
would have thought you’d keep something like that. And I get it.”
He held up a hand when she opened her mouth to repeat her earlier
arguments. “I get it. We haven’t gotten to know each other well
enough, we—”
“Leo, I’m pregnant.”
Everything in him went numb. He dropped the
butter knife, which hit the plate with a loud clatter. Good thing
he hadn’t been drinking. He stared, which only made her fidget
more, her entire body tight, the bread in front of her almost
powder as she watched for his reaction.
“You’re what?”
“I’m pregnant.” She lifted her voice only a
little, then cast a nervous look about the restaurant. “I took the
test on Tuesday. It’s positive.”
He felt himself shaking his head, not a
conscious choice, and stopped himself when he realized what she
would think. He couldn’t wrap his mind around those simple words,
and what they meant to the future he’d just now allowed himself to
dream. “But we—were careful.”
“Accidents happen.” The smile she gave him
was tight, and he realized how hard this was for her, worrying what
lay ahead, what his reaction would be, especially in light of his
former questionable behavior.
“Are you—feeling okay?” He nodded toward the
bread. Liv was sick as a dog when she was pregnant. God, this
couldn’t be happening. He was barely thinking about changing his
life by moving here, maybe getting married, and now he was going to
be a father again?
“I’m fine.” She shuddered a little, as if
letting go of some of the tension she’d been holding in—since
Tuesday, she said.
“Have you been to the doctor?” He hoped the
panic he wasn’t feeling wasn’t in his voice.
“No, I wanted to tell you first. I wanted—we
have some decisions to make.”
Her words came back to him then. “If I was in
the same situation now I’d make the same choice.” The blood drained
from his head. “You want to give the child up?”
She blanched. “No! No. I couldn’t do that
again. I’ve—I’ve sent applications to Elk River and Pine City and
Baxter, and a few other places.”
“Jesus, Trinity! You’re moving away from
Bluestone?” And taking his child? What did she think he was, that
he wouldn’t want to be a part of his child’s life? Part of
hers?
She took another piece of bread to destroy.
“I can’t live through dealing with my parents and their
disappointment in me again. I can’t stay, not and face their
judgment, and the judgment of the town.”
The town loved her, didn’t she know that? But
irritation burned enough that he didn’t tell her. “So you’re going
to take my child away and raise it on your own? No friends, no
family?”
She paled further. “I have to have a
plan.”
“You haven’t even known a week. When are you
going to the doctor?”
“I have an appointment the week before
Memorial Day, here in Wilson.”
“I want to come with you.” He held his breath
as he waited for her response. He hadn’t been home much during
Liv’s pregnancy and had missed a appointments and other milestones.
He’d be damned if he’d make that same mistake again, no matter how
many walls she put up.
Finally she let out what seemed to be a
relieved breath and nodded. “That would be good.”
Okay, so they were in this together. That was
a start.
***
In the week that followed, Leo couldn’t
concentrate on anything, which sucked because he had a lot to do.
He didn’t see much of Trinity, because she was just as busy as he
was, getting ready for Memorial Day weekend. There were contracts
to sign and booths to set up and the end of school coming up, so
she was swamped at work, too, so she no longer waited after school
with the kids. He missed seeing her, wanted to reassure her
somehow, wanted to let her know that now that the shock had passed,
he was excited about the baby, about the opportunity for a second
chance to get it right. Yeah, he’d made his choice to stay in
Bluestone before he found out about her pregnancy, but the baby was
like a sign he’d made the right choice.
Since she didn’t want people gossiping about
Leo picking her up from school when she left early, afraid the word
would get back to her parents before she had a chance to tell them
about her pregnancy, they met at the doctor’s office. She was so
tense as she filled out the pages of paperwork, he thoughts she’d
shatter right there in the chair. He wanted to joke with her about
the covers of the magazines, or the very real estrogen overdose he
was getting in the frilly place, but he was pretty sure all he’d
get in response was a scowl.
Finally, they were called back for the exam.
She made him turn away when she was weighed, and he did it without
protest, though he didn’t care. She had her blood pressure taken,
was made to pee in a cup, and emerged from the bathroom with the
cup hidden in the folds of her exam gown.