Wet Part 3 (23 page)

“I promised to love you and take care of you until I die. I keep my promises. I love you, I
always
will. I can’t help it . . . but right now, I don’t like you very much.” He closed his eyes and blew out a long gust of air, and then he growled a few times because of the guilt that sat on his chest, making it nearly impossible to get enough air into his lungs. “No—that’s not true.”

“Let me guess. It’s yourself you don’t like.”

He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. She knew him.

“You never do.”

“Sorry, but your,
I could never think anything bad about you, Paul,
act isn’t very convincing at the moment. I don’t know how I never figured it out. How’d I not get the hint when you called me the epitome—”

“You know I didn’t mean that,” she snapped, the volume of her voice on the rise. “You had me thinking about sex, that I might want it, with you. It was a defense mechanism. I had to make you stop. Now, you know why I would have said anything at that moment. I couldn’t let those memories come rushing back to me. But I’m glad it’s in the open now, getting it all out has been a good thing.” She hung her head again and said the rest in a whisper, “At least, I thought so, until—”

“I don’t blame you for what happened yesterday. It’s not your fault. I, on the other hand.” He paused. His mouth shifted through a few motions. “I was just being
me
.”

Paul had to turn his head to keep from giving in to his need to comfort and protect her. The look on her face, he couldn’t handle seeing her so broken anymore, finally understanding just how broken she was. After the hijacking, all through the hysterical outburst, her catatonia, what he thought was her healing process—he’d hung on—barely, and only because he loved her, and he’d believed she loved him. He’d never thought she should, but he’d basked in her love, feeling as though he could do anything, overcome anything because of it.

“I knew what I was doing,” she said. “It wasn’t you.”

“No. You didn’t. You just knew what I was—
am
. So you should also know I can’t take care of you. You need help—help that I can’t give you. We need to get you functioning again.”

At first, he thought she let out another sob but he realized it was a derisive laugh. He looked back again to make sure.

“Functioning?” she said a little too loudly and she laughed again. Her whole demeanor changed. She stood and faced him as she started her tirade, the sound level of her voice growing increasingly loud and bold. “I’m the queen of
functioning
! I’ve been doing it since I was five. I don’t have to go to Texas and have a million sad-sobbing sessions with Keene to get myself
functioning
.”

She stomped to the clothes bar in the far corner; the whole third level apartment vibrated with each footstep. She began rifling emphatically through the new clothes Paul had hung the night before.

“What are you doing?” Paul bellowed.

She lifted the hanger with the hideous triple X sized shirt off the bar and gave it a quizzical look. She turned to him, with the shirt in her hand. 

“I’m
functioning
!” she yelled back, but then gave the shirt one more confused glance. She took it off its hanger and threw it onto the twin bed as her eyes lifted and went toward the open door of the room. Paul snapped his head around to see what had caught her eye. Tracy and Regina froze—caught trying to sneak out.

“We’re leaving you two to your private parts,” Regina said.

“She means, we’re leaving so you can have your privacy,” Tracy corrected and then added thoughtfully, and with great concern, “but you guys are newlyweds, you shouldn’t be fighting already. I know you love each—” Regina interrupted her by pushing her out the door.

“We’ll be leaving you two to your private parts—I mean privacy.” Regina gave Paul a sad, understanding look, probably meant to show her support, but it made him look down in disgrace.

“That’s just great!” he said under his breath. “Now the whole island is going to know.”

Rhees didn’t seem to hear and he watched her resume getting ready to
function
. She grabbed the coral bikini with the lacy cream-colored camisole and put it on, right in front of him. He had the urge to jump up and take her in his arms, make her settle down, but he looked away instead. She stormed into the bathroom and brusquely put her hair up into a messy . . . sexy bun.

“This is not what I meant,” he finally barked, having seen enough of her little tantrum, stomping around, making her boobs bounce around. He couldn’t help but wonder if she did it on purpose, he normally wouldn’t think so, but now, he wasn’t sure.

She came out of the bathroom, ignoring him, and began rummaging through her old backpack, because the new one she’d bought for the honeymoon had been taken by the hijackers. She sorted through the things she’d left in the pack from the last time she’d used it, and then, in a very business-like manner, looked around the room for the things she’d need for the day.

“I know exactly what you meant,” she said without a break in loading up her pack. “As soon as you’re comfortable that I can
function
, you’ll throw a crapload of money into my account, and then—and then,” her voice broke, “you’ll be free to divorce me.” It cracked again. “No broken promises, no guilty conscience.”

She finally stopped and stared blankly at the contents of her pack.  It bulged at the seams, full of unnecessary items.

oOo

Paul had watched her bustling about the apartment, listening to her, trying to understand what she was saying. She’d shocked him. He’d never thought about it that way, but since she’d brought it up, he wondered if she might be right. He actually wasn’t sure. He stopped trying—he couldn’t allow himself to think about it right then.

He also tried to understand why she needed three changes of clothes for one day at the shop, including the hideous, too large shirt, the remote for the apartment’s tiny television, and the heavy door stop they used to hold the front door open when they were home.

“If you send me away, it’ll only make it that much easier for you to—” She paused to stare at her backpack and sounded like she lost her place in the conversation, but only for a second. “I will not help you with that.”

She finally turned to face him.

“I’m not going to Utah. I’m not going to Texas. I’m not going anywhere but to the shop.
Our
shop! It’s half mine now, and I’m not walking away without a fight. So remember, if you want a divorce—you always say I’m tough as nails. Well, just try to divorce me and you’ll see how tough I can be.” With that, she hefted her loaded backpack over her shoulder, turned and let the screen door slam on her way out.

oOo

Paul wasn’t too far behind Rhees, but he didn’t try to catch up. Confusion wracked his brain, no, his heart—both. His whole being felt ripped and raw, an ache he wasn’t familiar with and couldn’t stop.

He’d given up on ridiculous delusions of love and relationships. His parents’ example had left him believing love was nothing but a myth. All the times he’d had to listen to them entertain guests with their
romantic
love story, the exhaustive effort to put forth the illusion they were the perfect family, but he knew what went on behind the scenes.

How did I get here? How did I wind up married?

He knew the answer. Turned out love was real after all. His feelings proved it. The marriage element of the situation didn’t confuse him. It was more the way he’d gotten there, all the energy, the internal conflict . . . the hope. He hadn’t allowed himself to feel that kind of hope since he was a kid.

How the hell did I allow myself to hope again?

And again, here he was, feeling betrayed. He should have known better—how did he not know better? Despite what he deemed her breach of trust, he wanted to catch up to her, take her in his arms and never let go. The conflict raging inside made him queasy. He hated betrayal. The disenchantment made him angry and made him wish he’d done things differently, but still, he couldn’t turn it off.

He was the excessive man. Gambling, smoking, drugs, sex—go big or go home—he never did anything halfway, and yet, none of those, the most addicting vices known to man, had brought him down. He’d quit them all with nothing more than the decision to do so.

But now there was Rhees. From the moment she’d kissed him at Rays, she’d been an addiction. It didn’t matter how many times he’d told himself to give it up, walk away—let
her
walk away. For the first time in his life, he couldn’t just kick a habit simply because he’d decided he should. It would be for the best, so he didn’t understand why he couldn’t just quit—quit wanting her,
needing
her.

oOo

As they neared the shop, he realized he didn’t want to be bombarded with questions.

“Rhees! Hold up.”

She turned. She wasn’t surprised to see him behind her, but the hopeful look on her face as he ran to catch up made him feel even more like a heel. She waited expectantly to see what he wanted—so trusting.

“I don’t know what kind of damage control we’re going to have to deal with after Tracy—if we don’t show up together, everyone will start asking questions.” Yeah, he was a prick.

“Okay. You’re right.”

He looked away. The pain in her eyes was too much, but he had to stay strong. It was for the best. He needed to stay focused on his anger. He scowled at himself and took her by the hand. God, it felt good to touch her.

Chapter 17

R
hees did an amazing job pretending that day. Paul played his part too. They fooled everyone, except Tracy and Regina, maybe Claire. Everyone knew about the hijacking, but no one, except Claire and Dobbs, knew about Rhees’ revelation and breakdown. The Dobbsons had already spread the word that, because of the hijacking, the newlyweds had cancelled their trip to the Great Barrier Reef, deciding to spend their honeymoon at the capital instead.

No one questioned the story, and now that they’d returned, everyone seemed to buy that they were simply too tired and too busy playing catch up after their long absence, to act the newlywed part with each other. At least they hoped everyone would believe it, knowing that with Tracy around, it was only a matter of time before everyone knew the honeymoon was over, figuratively, as well as literally.

Paul had finally put the schedule up on the board for the day, and Rhees felt more than ready for the last few people to leave so she could let down and stop all the pretending.

Claire finally left too. She’d been giving Rhees strange looks all day, but thankfully, she never did ask any questions. Rhees loved Claire all the more for it.

Christian walked into the office.

“Bet you’re hungry, eh?”

“Hey, Christian.”

“Ready to go?” he asked.

Rhees turned to look at him. It was such a simple question, but the way he asked sounded strange.

“Yeah. It’s been a long day. I think it’ll take a few days to get back into the swing of things.” She grabbed her overstuffed backpack and remembered the circumstances under which she’d packed it. She frowned and then heaved it over her shoulder. When she turned to leave the office, Christian still stood there, acting expectant. “Do you need something?”

“Just waiting for you.”

“Um . . .” She wondered if she’d forgotten something that she shouldn’t have. Something like making plans that she knew she didn’t really make, but he obviously thought she had. “What’s up, Christian?”

“Nothing. Just waiting for you.” Now he looked confused too.

“Why?”

“Paul asked me to have dinner with you. He has a council meeting tonight. He said you knew.”

“Oh!” She pretended to suddenly remember. “Yeah, that’s right.” They walked out of the office and she turned to lock the door.

“That knapsack looks heavy. Want me to carry it for you?”

“I got it. Thanks.”

Christian followed her around the shop as she closed the shutters and locked all the doors. She wanted to break down, but she couldn’t, not with Christian on her heels. She felt betrayed and brokenhearted by Paul’s maneuver, and of course, he was nowhere to be found.

“Where do you want to eat?” Christian attempted to make small talk as they hit the street and headed south.

The pit in her stomach made her want to puke. There was no way she was going to hold food down. “I’ve been gone a long time. I could do anything. You choose.”

“Have you tried the falafel and pita sandwich at Abu’s?”

“Only once, sounds great,” she had to lie.

Rhees did her best to pretend to eat. The falafel had tasted better the first time she ate at Abu’s. She was sure it still tasted good, she just couldn’t tell because of the bile trying to work its way up.

Christian’s phone rang. He answered and then gave her a strange look just before he covered the phone with his hand and excused himself to walk far enough away to carry on a private conversation.

oOo

“Are you a hundred percent, or are you more . . . bi?” Paul waited for Christian to answer.

“What?” Christian sounded shocked.

“I need to know!” Paul licked his lips, agitated and worried, when Christian didn’t answer right away.

“A hundred percent,” Christian finally answered, dryly. “Why?”

“Good.” Paul didn’t hide his relief. He’d been in hell over what he was doing. Not only was he taking advantage of Christian’s friendship with Rhees, he also took advantage of Rhees’ empathy. She’d never hurt her friend’s feelings. “The meeting is going to run long, and I want to take these guys out drinking as an excuse to have more time to talk to them.

“They’re set in their ways. You know, they don’t understand that the diving brings a lot more money to the island than fishing. I’m trying to convince them that by designating the dive sites around the island a Marine Park, the tourism will be much better for the economy.” Paul didn’t lie, completely. He’d been having the same argument with the other local council members since he’d been elected to sit on the board. He just didn’t really have a council meeting that night.

“Sure, make ‘em understand, eh? I get it.” Christian was on Paul’s side.

“Okay, that’s good,” Paul said. “I need a favor.”

“Sure. Anything I can do to help.”

“I need you to stay with Rhees tonight. You know, after the hijacking and all, she’s been a little upset—more than she would probably ever let on. I don’t want her to be alone, but I don’t know how long this will take. It’ll be late. I’ll just go to my apartment when I’m done so I don’t wake her. You know. It’ll be late, she needs rest. Stay with her, okay?”

“Um . . . sure. I guess.” Christian didn’t sound convinced that it was a good idea.

“Thanks. I would never ask if I didn’t think it was absolutely necessary.” Paul held his breath. He needed Christian’s help. “Please, I don’t want her to have to spend the night alone. She’ll never admit it, but the hijacking really scared her.”

“Oh! Sure. I’ll stay with her.”

“Thanks. I’ll make it up to you, okay? I said I’d reimburse you the cost of dinner. I’ll give you more. I’ll settle up with you, make it worth your while, I promise.”

“Don’t worry about it, eh? Glad I can help. Rhees is great. I’d do anything for her.”

“Yeah,” Paul did his best to keep the remorse from his tone. “Thanks. You don’t know how much this helps, you know, to not have to worry about her. I know she’s in good hands.”

“Sure, glad I can help.”

oOo

Rhees climbed into bed after making sure Christian was comfortable on the twin bed in her room.

“Make yourself at home,” she said, again.

“This is the most comfortable mattress I’ve ever had the pleasure of sleeping on, and these sheets feel so . . . luscious.” Christian’s tone revealed awe. “I’ll be great.”

“Yeah, top of the line. Paul has weird issues about beds.” She only managed a monotone response, wondering how she would make it through the whole night without breaking into sobs. That’s what she wanted to do—needed to do—but she couldn’t with Christian in the same room. She had no other choice but to let herself go numb. “He’s very particular,” she said, mindlessly, “and what Paul wants, Paul gets.”

oOo

Paul ran the phone conversation with Christian through his head, over and over again. He’d said he was a hundred percent. Paul tried to keep calm. He’d had a couple of beers, the only drink he dared to have. He needed to keep his wits about him, as much as he needed to just get wasted, needed to forget, if only for the night.

oOo

Rhees loved Christian to death, but she was ready to scream by the time she ducked into the office the next morning.

“Thanks, Christian. See you around.”

“Sure, see you around.”

She ran around the counter, set her pack down—she’d emptied it of all the unnecessary items the night before. She collapsed in the chair at her computer. It was a relief to know Claire hadn’t shown up yet. Once she collected her nerves, she went in search of her AWOL husband.

She found Paul on the deck changing the O-rings on a couple of the tanks. She folded her arms and waited for him to notice her—she knew he’d already noticed her. She waited for him to acknowledge that he had. He never did.

He swore under his breath when one of the O-rings broke and he had to go into the equipment room for another. She followed, and cornered him.

“We need to talk.”

“Not now.” His impassive eyes seemed to see right through her when he finally looked up. “Not here. Not in public.” He turned his attention back to the box with the extra O-rings.

“Apparently, not in private either, so when? Where?”

He shuffled past her and closed his eyes as his body brushed against hers. He squeezed by as quickly as he could make it happen. “I don’t know,” he answered and went back to work on the leaky tank.

Rhees spent the day trying to get his attention while Paul spent the day trying to avoid giving it to her.

oOo

“Christian!” Paul slapped him on the back with a little too much enthusiasm. “I hate to ask again so soon, but, um . . . Rick wants to meet tonight, have a few beers, and discuss an idea he has about scuttling an old boat off South Point. Think you can keep Rhees company again?”

“Sure, but she wouldn’t want to join you, eh?” Christian gave him a skeptical look. “Sounds interesting, she isn’t interested?”

Paul looked off, over the ocean. “Well, you know her. If I ask, she’s going to say yes, even though she’d rather not. She’d never admit it.” Paul turned his attention back to Christian with a serious expression. “She’s been under a lot of stress lately. I’d be willing to bet she was extra quiet last night, didn’t eat much. She tried to put on a happy face, but I’m sure she didn’t fool you.”

Christian seemed to understand. “Sure. That, she did.”

Paul leaned into him. “See? I don’t want to be dragging her around with me, making her listen to me talk shop all night. Not after what she’s been through. Please?”

“Sure.” Christian finally dropped the skeptical face he wore and smiled.

“Thanks.” Paul slapped him on the back again and took off. 

oOo

Rhees’ face flushed pale when Christian showed up in the office again at closing time.

“Remind me what he has tonight?”

Christian looked sheepish. “Shop talk with Rick.”

“That’s code for get drunk with an old whoring partner.” Her heart fluttered at the thought, but she managed a grim smile.

“Where’d you like to eat tonight, eh?”

Rhees sighed and looked out the window, thoughtfully. “You know what? I feel like partying.” She turned to her old dancing partner. “What do you say we just grab a few baleadas for dinner, go get cleaned up for a night on the town. I feel like dancing.”

Christian didn’t even try to hide his excitement.

“I take that to mean it’s a plan?” she asked.

Christian held his arm out to her like he was ready to escort her onto the dance floor. They danced all around the shop as Rhees locked up, and they laughed all the way to her apartment.

“I’ll be back to pick you up in forty-five minutes,” Christian said.

Rhees feigned an annoyed sigh. “You’re such a diva, Christian. You take longer to get ready than I do. I’ll pick
you
up in twenty.”

He feigned alarm. “I’d better hurry then! I’ll never get myself presentable that fast.” He laughed and darted down the stairs. “See you soon. Ooo, I’m so excited.”

As soon as Christian left, Rhees went to the clothes rack and pulled out the new brown dress. She studied it for a second, and then dug to the very back for her other dancing dress. She held them both up, trying to decide which one to wear. Paul always acted uncomfortable when she’d asked if he thought her bone white dress would be a good option for their evenings out, so she’d never worn the Costa Rica dress again. She didn’t want him beating himself up about what might have happened that night.

She returned the brown dress to the rack. By his absence, Paul had made the choice for her. He wouldn’t be seeing her wear the dress, so he wouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable about it.

oOo

Rhees strolled up to the bar at the Emerald Starfish, arm in arm with Christian. He ordered a beer.

“I want a Long Island Iced Tea, double the ta-kill-ya, and use Coke Light,” she said to the bartender. The bartender seemed impressed. Christian seemed worried.

“Paul wants me to keep an eye on you, not get you into trouble.”

She gave him a dirty look with a shake of her head. “No talking about Paul tonight. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

“I’m not worried about
him
getting hurt.” He gave her a wide-eyed look.

“Then maybe you should just go home.” She didn’t mean to sound so curt, and she could tell she’d hurt Christian’s feelings. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” She smiled and bumped him with her shoulder. “Who would I dance with if you went home? You’re the best dancer on the island.”

“No,
you
are! Now gulp that down and let’s go cut a rug.”

She laughed at the expression. “Do Canadians say that? You sound like an old western movie.”

He shrugged and handed her drink to her. She guzzled several long gulps and set the glass back down on the bar.

“I didn’t mean it literally. You’re going to get drunk.”

“That’s what I’m going for.” She turned to the bartender. “Watch our drinks . . . and start making me another because this one’s about gone.” She swigged a couple more gulps, which almost finished it off, and then pulled Christian out onto the dance floor.

oOo

“I need the restroom!” Rhees yelled over the music to Christian. He nodded and waved her off, but didn’t stop dancing. Rhees made her way to what she always thought was the most luxurious bathroom on the island, but just before she turned the corner, she stopped cold. 

Paul ambled along the path, headed to the bar—headed straight for her. Hands in pockets, he held his head down, staring at the ground. He looked sad, or angry, or both, and hadn’t seen her yet.

A woman, a beautiful woman she’d never seen before, strolled at his side, jabbering at him as they walked. With his head down, it was hard to tell if he was listening or not. He definitely didn’t speak back to her, but that was no surprise. They reached the bathroom and stopped. Paul opened the door and made a gesture with his hand to usher the strange woman inside. She went in, turned, and said something to him with a demure smile.

Rhees’ mouth fell open as she stepped out from around the corner where she could be seen, trying to make sense of the horrible scene, sure that she’d already made sense of it, in spite of her alcohol impaired mind.

Paul didn’t return the woman’s smile, but his face registered with curiosity at the way the woman looked to her left from inside the small room. He turned his head to see what the woman was looking at.

Rhees stood, gaping in shock, in horror, in pain. Paul reflected Rhees’ expression as if looking in a mirror.

“Rhees?” He shut the door to the bathroom and almost hit the woman’s face, but he didn’t seem to notice. “What are you doing here? Where’s Christian?”

Rhees didn’t answer. She spun around and marched back to the bar and downed the rest of her second drink before ordering another.

“Double everything this time,” she growled to the bartender. By the time the bartender handed her the new drink, Paul had stepped up behind her, and grabbed the drink away.

“How many have you had?”

“Someone stole my drink,” she yelled at the bartender, ignoring Paul. “Make me another!”

“Cancel that,” Paul said. Rhees gave him a dirty look.

Christian noticed she’d returned, that Paul was there, and made his way to the bar. “Paul. You’re here. How’d it go with Rick?”

“You were supposed to make sure she ate food, got home, and had company so she wouldn’t cry all night.”

“You didn’t say we couldn’t go out.” Christian looked like he didn’t like being put on the spot. “She wanted to go out, and I took it as a good sign. She’s obviously feeling better.”

“Take her home,” Paul growled. “Now.”

Christian looked confused. “Why don’t you? You’re obviously done with your meeting.”

Paul didn’t seem to know what to say.

“Come on, Christian,” Rhees said. “Take me home, please?”