What a Goddess Wants (34 page)

Cal had to put this demon down, to beat it into submission. The knowledge put more force, more power into his punches. He felt his knuckles connect with and shatter a cheekbone, felt a rib give way under his fist. Rage made him strong, but he wouldn’t last forever.

He needed to get the demon away from Tessa so Diritas could get her out of there.

The demon swung out with an open hand, aiming for Cal’s chest. Seeing an opportunity, Cal let its razor-sharp nails rake across his chest.

He sagged as if the demon had hurt him, and with a hard grin, it came after him. He took a step back and then another, stumbling a little, and the demon took the bait. It leaped, baring its teeth and going for Cal’s throat. Cal fell on his back, put his hands up as if to hold off the demon, then caught it and flipped it over his head, away from Tessa.

Scrambling to get to Tessa, Cal got within two feet of touching her before the demon landed on his back, wrapped one wiry arm around Cal’s throat, and tightened it. Cal’s esophagus began to close, and he ripped at the demon’s arm and scratched at the flesh. A blast of foul breath blew by his cheek.

Shit, its teeth. He had to get away from its teeth. Poison.

He twisted as hard as he could and got his hand under the demon’s arm before he felt it yank back. The demon hissed and spit and turned on Diritas, who’d grabbed its shoulders and yanked it away from Cal.

“That’s right, you blue-skinned fiend,” Diritas taunted. “Come dance with a master of the craft.”

As if unable to stop, the demon launched itself at Diritas like a missile, hitting him hard and taking them both to the ground.

Cal turned and scrambled on his knees to Tessa, who hadn’t moved yet.

Please, let her be okay. Please, please, please…

Behind him, he heard fists on flesh but he couldn’t take his eyes off Tessa. She lay so still in the dark, and when his hands reached for her, he moaned at the ice-cold feel of her skin.

“Oh, fuck. Tessa, love…”

Her eyes opened, tears welling before spilling down her cheeks. Her lips parted but no sound emerged.

Then his eyes landed on the wound at her neck. Oh hell, the demon had bit her. She was paralyzed. Not dead.

He gathered her close and—

The demon hit him in the back of the head, making stars burst before Cal’s eyes. Falling forward, he caught himself before he crushed Tessa, but he took the combined weight of the demon, Diritas, and X, who’d joined the fight, for several seconds before they rolled off him again.

Cal didn’t have a single qualm about leaving his father and brother to deal with the demon. He had to get Tessa out of there. That was the only thing that mattered.

Still… He glanced over his shoulder.

Diritas was taking a beating. His face bled from several cuts and he actually winced when the demon’s next blow caught him in the side. X’s left arm hung limp and the back of his head was covered in blood. If Cal, X, and their father fought together, they could kill the damn thing.

He looked back at Tessa, still lying frozen in his arms, and he swore he saw her nod.

“Do it,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Kill it. One less Tukhulkha demon to worry about. The neck. Sever the spinal cord.”

Torn, Cal forced himself to lay Tessa back on the ground, bracing her against the thick trunk of a tree. Bending, he pressed his lips to hers for a brief second before he turned to help his father and brother defeat the demon.

Diritas took another hit to the solar plexus before Cal tackled them both and took them to the ground.

The demon screeched like a pissed-off cat just before it reared back and bared its teeth. X had stepped into range as he tried to get to their father. Cal knew the demon would go for X’s jugular.

Grabbing the demon’s head before it could strike, Cal yanked it away. Diritas and X immediately grabbed for the thing as well, holding its legs as Cal found the strength necessary to twist hard.

Though the demon fought them, Cal found greater strength because he had more to lose.

The crack as the demon’s neck broke reverberated through the forest. Cal tossed the demon to the side and a tremor shook the ground, hard enough to make him stumble. With a crash, the gate to Aitás closed.

After a quick glance to make sure his father still breathed, Cal forced himself to his feet and back to Tessa.

Her skin looked pale; her eyes were closed; and he could barely see her chest move as she breathed. He gathered her in his arms and stood. And then he had no idea what to do.

Above. He needed to get her into the sun. He needed to open a gate into—

“Cal. Love you.”

Tessa’s weak voice sent a bolt of pain straight into his chest. His gaze connected with her beautiful blue eyes, now dull and listless.

And his heart stuttered.

She’d just given up. “Gods damn it. No, Tessa. Don’t you dare give up on me. I’ll take you up. We’ll find the sun and you will be fine.”

Her smile flickered for a brief second. “Not gonna be fine. You know that. And we can’t let Charun have me. Take me to Invol.”

No. Absolutely not. “That’s
not
gonna happen.” He glared into her eyes, willing her to fight. “We’re going back to the sun. I won’t lose you. I don’t want to live without your heat in my life. You gave me back a part of myself I thought I’d lost forever. I’m never cold with you.”

Her smile flickered again but she couldn’t hold it. Her eyes closed and Cal panicked. He closed his eyes to summon a gate… but couldn’t gather the necessary power.

Shit. Concentrate, you idiot.

“Cal.” Tessa’s weak voice forced his gaze down to hers. In the twilight, he saw the light leave her eyes.

Agonizing pain, unlike anything he’d ever felt before, encased his body in a fierce grip, squeezing his lungs, tearing at his heart, and ripping at his stomach. He screamed until he couldn’t any longer, until his bruised esophagus gave out.

The warmth of Tessa’s body was fading fast.

No. He couldn’t accept this.

Turning, he saw his father push himself to his feet and head for Cal, his expression darker than usual.

“Damn it, Cal. I’m sorry.”

“No, she’s not gone.” He shook his head, unwilling to believe. Even though he could no longer feel her warmth. “I can’t… I have to take her back to the…”

No, she’d been right. “I have to take her to Invol.”

The light there would heal her. He knew it would.

It had to.

Chapter 13

“Caligo, you can’t go in there. You’re not strong enough. You’ll die. Let me take her.”

Cal shook his head, as he stood by the oak tree that marked the gate to Invol. “Open the gate, Dad.”

Diritas got that look on his face, an expression Cal knew damn well. Stubborn intractability. His father wasn’t moving.

“Son, there’s nothing more you can do for her. She wouldn’t want you to sacrifice yourself like this.”

“I’m not. I just have to see this through.”

He had to know for sure that she was gone. Someone over there had to tell him. And if she was…

“I’ll be back, Dad.”

The lie sounded like truth. At least it did to Cal’s ears.

His father wasn’t buying it. He crossed his arms over his thick chest and widened his stance. “You will break your mother’s heart if you don’t. And mine.”

His father had never once said he loved Cal. Cimmerian men didn’t express feelings they didn’t have. Or at least pretended not to have.

For years, Cal had thought he was an aberration because of his half-blood status. That he had emotions because he was flawed in some fundamental way.

He knew now that wasn’t true.

His father had feelings. He just worked hard to keep them concealed.

“You’ve been gone for years, Son. I know that’s mostly my fault. That mess with—”

“Doesn’t matter. And I never blamed you for that.”

“I should have said something, spoken up.” Cal heard the remorse in his father’s voice, the anger. “But I thought it’d be best if you got away for a while. I never wanted you to leave for good.”

“That was my fault. Not yours.”

And if he hadn’t left, he might never have met Tessa. He wouldn’t have traded that for anything, not even for the respect of the Cimmerians.

“Cal—”

“Dad. I love you and Mom and X. But I have to do this.”

Diritas stood his ground for another few seconds before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Laying his hand on the trunk, Diritas spoke the spell to open the gate. There was no crashing, no lightning flashing, no quakes. Just the rush of air displacing and then the smell of ozone.

Cal had already donned the cloak hanging from the tree. He didn’t intend to walk into Invol, hand over Tessa, and then let himself burn to a crisp.

He planned to return. He just didn’t think he’d be in any shape to actually live when he did.

Cal stepped through.

Once more into the light.

He didn’t go far though. Knew he didn’t have to. He’d figured that no matter where he was in Invol, its residents would know he was there.

So he waited.

After a minute, he realized he was holding his breath, praying for Tessa to move, to twitch, to gasp for air. Something, anything that would let him know she was still with him.

Nothing.

“You are upset. I am sorry.”

The voice came from above him, and he realized he’d fallen to the ground cradling Tessa on his lap.

He looked up for a brief second before he realized what he’d done, and the sound he heard was his skin blistering.

“I couldn’t save her.”

“No, you couldn’t.”

Rage boiled in his gut, almost as painful as his anguish. “You let her die.”

“No. But neither could we interfere. You are not capable of understanding the situation.”

“I understand enough. And it doesn’t matter now. She’s gone.”

“And we thank you for returning her to us.”

It was a dismissal, and Cal almost expected to feel a foot on his ass pushing him back through the gate. His arms tightened around Tessa’s lifeless body as he thought about leaving her here.

He didn’t know if he could do it. But he’d told his dad he’d be back.

He had to let go of Tessa.

Staring down at her too-still face, he felt his heart contract into a tight, painful ball. He bent forward, pressed his lips against hers and tried to imagine a response, tried to imagine that her mouth moved against his as she kissed him back.

But he felt nothing. No warmth at all.

She really was gone.

“You must leave, or you will be damaged beyond repair. Go now, Caligo.”

He wanted to snarl, to curse, to cry. He couldn’t. There was nothing left inside.

Barely conscious of his actions, he laid Tessa on the ground, stood, and walked through the gate his father held open for him.

***

“I really wish you would reconsider, Cal. It’s just too soon. You’re not healed yet.”

Cal glanced at his mom, who paced from one side of his room to the other, distress in every jerky motion. Serena had been hovering over him for the past four days, ever since his father had carried him back to their house and laid him in the bed that still smelled of Tessa.

His mom had taken one look at Cal and burst into tears. His dad had run out the door for a healer before Cal passed out. The burns had been bad. So bad that they hadn’t been sure he was going to make it for the first twenty-four hours.

He couldn’t have cared less. Not that he wanted to cause his parents grief, but they could live without him. They had for years.

Unfair? Yeah.

He didn’t care. He didn’t really care about anything at the moment. Wasn’t sure he ever would.

“Mom, I’m fine. I just need to get back to my own place. I promise I’ll take it easy.”

Mostly, he planned to drink himself into a coma for the next month. Then he’d see how he felt.

“Maybe I should come with you.”

Cal set his pack on the bed and turned to face her. Cal could count on one hand the number of times Serena had left Cimmeria for the outer plane. For her to offer now… “Mom, I’m not gonna do anything stupid. I just need a little time.”

“Leave the boy alone.” Diritas leaned against the door jamb of Cal’s room. His father had been quiet until now, watching every move Cal made. “He’ll be fine.”

He wondered if his father actually believed that or if he was saying it to appease his mother. When he looked at Diritas, Cal saw understanding in his dad’s eyes.

He nodded, knowing what his father was saying without words. He was trusting Cal not to break his mother’s heart by doing something stupid in his grief.

He wouldn’t. He just needed… solitude.