What About Us: A Crazy Love Story (8 page)

“I would never want to come between y’all, Ms. Chandler. That isn’t even my style. The reason that I was so attracted to Jabari in the first place is because he loves and respects you so much.”

“So does this mean that my two favorite girls in the world are on good terms?”

“I accept your apology.”

“Thank God. Y’all are driving me crazy. I let Mama know that she either accepts the love of my life or she won’t be seeing me much. You are my everything, Jazzlene. So once I make you my wife, no one will be able to break that bond. That’s including my mother.”

Jabari wraps his arms around me, giving me the biggest hug. It instantly melts all of the tension away. This is why I love this man with all of my heart. He makes every situation better.

Hopefully there will be no more bumps in the road between his mother and I. Because the way that she is looking right now, I can tell that she isn’t as apologetic as she claims.

Chapter Eight

Jabari

Men are what their mothers make them

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I watch as my future wife gets up from the dinner table and then she walks away. I have been making excuses for my mother’s despicable behavior, for long enough. It is now my chance to put my foot down.

As I look at my mother, she has a satisfied smirk on her face and that shit pisses me off even more.

How could she want to constantly hurt the woman that I love the most?

When Jazzlene hurts, I hurt.

“What was that all about, Ma?”

“What do you mean, Jabari? She looks like she has absolutely no idea, as to what I am talking about.

“Why would say all of those mean things to Jazzlene? She has been nothing but respectable towards you, from the moment that you met her!”

“I am going to need you to calm your voice when you are talking to me, Jabari! I am still your mother,” She says with emphasis.

Her lips are tight.

“I will not calm down! Jazzlene is the woman that I will spend the rest of my life with and you’d better get used to it! I love her and I will not have you running her away.”

“What about me, Jabari? What will happen to me, once you get married?”

“I don’t understand what you mean. You are my mother and I will always love and be there for you, no matter who I am with. But I am a man! The kind of love that Jazzlene gives me is a whole different kind of love than you can give me.

The kind of love that I give her is different from the kind of love that I give you. You have to let me go and live my life.”

I just don’t get it. My mother is very attractive for her age. Granted she isn’t as fit and sexy as Ms. Sims, but she still is a good catch.

“I guess that I still remember when you were with your last serious girlfriend. You threw me away, like an old rag. I thought that was going to happen again. I am really sorry for saying those hateful things to Jazzlene. However, I do have two important questions for you, Son.”

“What’s that, Ma?”

“When are you going to tell Lela that you are getting married?”

“I’ll tell her, when I get ready. She knows that I am in a relationship. So what I do with Jazzlene is really none of her damn business!”

I am heated because deep down, I know that my mother is right. I just don’t want to hurt Lela. We have a bond that can’t be broken.

“And what about telling Jazzlene about the kids? You have two kids by Lela, which you have been hiding from your wife. You at least owe it to Jazzlene, to tell her about your children.”

“I don’t know how to tell her about them, Ma. How do I tell the woman that I love, that I have two kids that I’ve been hiding from her?”

“I don’t have the answer to that son. But you have to tell her before she finds out on her own. And you owe it to Lela to let her know that you’re getting married. She may know that you are in a relationship. But I doubt that she would constantly be popping babies out for a man, whom she doesn’t see a future with, Jabari.”

I wave the waitress over, so I that I can order me a double of Hennessey. What my mother just laid on me is heavy and I know that I have to do something and fast. Only how can I hurt Lela or Jazzlene?

“How can I help you, sir?” The waitress asks, with a big dimpled smile on her face.

“Can I have a double of Hennessey, along with a glass of merlot for my mother?”

She is a cute girl with skin the color of mocha. Standing at about 5’5”, she is thick just like I like them. Her hair is pulled into a ponytail and her face is free from makeup. She is a natural beauty.

“I sure can. I’ll be right back with your drinks.”

I watched as she walks away and just as I suspect, her ass is sitting up nice and high.

Damn . . . a nigga like me is gonna find it hard not to indulge in new pussy, once I get married. I was somewhat faithful to Jazzlene, while she was away at school. The only people that I fuck with are Ja’nelle and Lela and trust me; that is good for a nigga like me, who has his pick of any woman that I want.

“You are just like your father. I don’t understand why you want to get married, when it is clear that you can’t keep it inside of your pants. If you want your marriage to have a fighting chance, then you need to change your ways, Jabari. How do you expect to have a lasting and loving relationship, all built on lies?”

“Don’t worry Ma, I’ve got this. When have you ever known me to get caught up?”

“Whatever, Jabari . . . Don’t come to me, when the shit hits the fan! Jazzlene deserves better than this and so does Lela. I’ve known that child, ever since she was a baby. Her mother is my best friend, for goodness sakes. You are putting me in fucked up place, Jabari.”

The waitress comes back with our drink order.

“Are you ready to order dinner?” She asks, once she places our drinks in front of us. My mother is busy texting someone. I for one am no longer hungry.

“No we are just gonna have another round after this and take the check.”

“Sure thing; I will put in your order for your drinks now. That way, they can be ready once you’re finished. Let me know if you need anything else.”

“I would like an order of oysters, please,” my mother says, drinking from her wine glass.

I’ve never known my mother to eat oysters before.

“Right away, ma’am.”

She continues to text away on her phone. I wonder who she was texting so adamantly.

“Who you over there texting?”

“That’s none of your business.”

She smiles at me and then she puts her phone down.

Before our drinks and the oysters arrive at the table, my mom excuses herself to go the restroom. It is perfect timing, because the cute little waitress comes back to the table.

“Here is your order. Will there be anything else?”

“How about you give me your number, so that I can store it in my cell? Maybe we can hook up one day.”

After she gives me her number, my mother comes back to the table. She is shaking her head.

“You ain’t gonna learn, until something happens to your ass. And I for one won’t be the least bit sorry for you either. Playing with these women’s emotions is gonna get your ass in a world of trouble, Jabari. I know that I raised you better than this!”

I just leave the conversation alone. We aren’t going to see eye to eye anyway.

After eating her oysters, we talk a little while longer. Then afterwards we head to the house, so that she can apologize to Jazzlene. Of course, she isn’t there.

That only means that she can be one place and that is at her mother’s house. I hate to go over there, but this has to be done. It’s the only way that me and my bride-to-be can move on to the next chapter of our lives together.

I know that keeping Lela and the kids a secret from Jazzy is fucked up, but I can’t lose her. Her finding out about it will hurt her to her core. Therefore, some things are better left unsaid.

I think that this is one of those instances when keeping secrets is the right thing to do. I know that I can’t keep them a secret forever. I will tell her in due time.

Chapter Nine

Lela

I was born to be the other woman who belonged to no one . . . Who belonged to everyone . . .

Who had nothing . . . Who wanted everything.

-Lana Del Ray

I know that Jabari is seeing that bitch, Jazzlene. Hell, he is really in love with that goody two shoes bitch.

I can’t even believe the shit that I’ve done for this nigga! I bore him two children, cooked for him, helped him to get the hood status that he so rightfully deserved, and I’ve cleaned his clothes.

When that bitch was out in DC living her life, I was the bitch who made sure that Jabari was straight. I helped him to get on top.

But did he ever think to love me?

I’ve been calling his ass back to fucking back. Yet he keeps on ignoring my calls, or letting it roll over to voicemail. I will blow this muthafuckin’ phone up, until his ass answers and he already knows that shit!

Finally after eight tries, he decides to pick up the fucking phone. Only to my surprise, it isn’t even Jabari. It is his precious Jazzlene. I will admit that I was completely caught off guard, when she answered the phone. She even sounded a little gutta.

All this time I was thinking that his little college girl was a prim and proper princess. She put me in my place real quick and then she hung up the phone.

I was heated, but what could I do? I don’t want to get on Jabari’s bad side, because that will surely drive him further into her arms. But I am totally tired of being the side chick. This is definitely not my style. I am quickly brought outta my thoughts, by Jabari Jr. crying.

“Mama is coming, Baby Boy. Calm down.”

I had just had him, three months ago and he is the splitting image of Jabari. I am so glad to have his first born son.

I was really hoping that our first child would’ve been a boy, so that Jabari would be mine. But instead, Laniyah was born and I love her with all my heart. She is the perfect blend of the both of us.

Although Jabari didn’t want any kids, he takes good care of Laniyah. He also does the very same for Jabari Jr. The only problem that I have is him wanting me to hide my children.

I get if that he is with Jazzlene, but my kids are no secret. I will not let my kids be hidden, like they are some kind of bad mistake.

Ms. Chandler says that she doesn’t see how I can go along with this shit. Only she doesn’t understand how loyal that I am to her son. When all of the chips fall, I will be the last woman standing and that is a fact.

After feeding, playing with, and changing the baby; he falls back to sleep. I am glad too, because I want to straighten up and cook before my mom brings Laniyah home. They went to the Kinsamn Festival and I’m sure that they went shopping too.

I turn on my Pandora app, located on my phone and I tune in to 90’s R&B. The first song that comes on is,
My Little Secret
by group, Xscape
.

How ironic is this?

I started out being Jabari’s ride or die and now I’m a secret; the bitch that he calls on when his girl is away at college. I bet money that she is fucking other niggas, while Jabari thinks that she is being faithful. I will be here to nurse his wounds though, when the shit hits the fan.

I am almost finished washing all of the dishes and bottles, when my phone alerts me that I have a text message.

Ms. Chandler: How are my grandbabies?

Me: They are fine...Jr. is sleep and Laniyah is with Mama

Ms. Chandler: I’ve got some news to share with you that I’ve been holding back...I thought that my son would be decent enough to tell you

Me: I’m almost afraid to find out

Ms. Chandler: Jabari is marrying that child Jazzlene next month

I have to find a seat, because I am about to faint. I don’t even believe that Jabari is going to marry her. Let alone, marry her without telling me. This has to be some kind of sick joke or a mistake.

Ms. Chandler: Now you know I love you like my own...you are the mother of my grandkids...I couldn’t let this go on any longer.

Me: Are you sure that they’re getting married next month?

Ms. Chandler: Child I wouldn’t tell a lie. July 18, 2015

I put the phone down and I start to cry. All of this planning has been in vain. How can Jabari do this to me? We were supposed to be together forever.

I know that he is dating her, but I also know that he has feelings for me. We have a history together and two kids.

How can he marry her, when I’m the mother of his children?

I am well aware of the game that I am playing, but I was certain that I would be the winner.

What does she have, that I don’t have?

My phone is going off, back to back.

Ms. Chandler: Lela, are you alright?

Ms. Chandler: Please respond . . . you’ve got me nervous over here

Ms. Chandler: I am a woman so I know how you are feeling Lord knows his father done me the same damn way. But you gotta pull yourself together for my grandbabies. They are who matter the most

Me: I know you’re right but I’m hurt! I gave him my all and this what he does to me!!!!

I hear my mother insert her key into my lock.

“Mommy-mommy! Look what I won at the fe-si-bal!”

My baby comes running full speed ahead, with a goldfish in a clear plastic bag. She is getting so big and talking so well for a two year old. She still has trouble pronouncing some words, but I can tell what she is trying to say.

“That’s good, Nya. Did you have a good time with Grandma?”

I am trying to stop the tears from falling, but I just can’t. My mother immediately sees that I am having a moment.

“Come on Baby, let’s go put your fish in a glass and take a nap.”

“Okay! Mommy, don’t be sad. The fish is okay in the bag for now, I promise.”

“Okay, Baby Girl. Go get ready for your nap. When you wake up, mommy will have some chocolate chip cookies for you.”

“Yay! I can’t wait to wake up. C’mon Grandma, let’s go take a nap.

It takes me a while to get myself together. I have got to get my emotions in check, before my mom comes back into the room.

“I swear that girl got an Energizer battery in her back. She keeps going and going and going. Now tell me; what has you so upset?” My mom asks me, all in one breath.

She plops down onto the couch.

“Jabari is getting married next month to his girlfriend Jazzlene and he didn’t even tell me. I had to hear from Ms. Chandler.”

“I know you’re not gonna wanna hear what I’m about to say to you, but it has to be said. That man told you that he wasn’t in love with you and you insisted on staying around. You done had two babies by a man that flaunts his relationship with another woman in your face.

Are you surprised? If a man tells you that he don’t want you, then he means it! Same thing happened with Pam and Jabari’s father. Just like she got played in the end, so have you. The side chick never comes out on top.”

“But we have a history and two kids. I know that he loves me.”

I feel my emotions rising again. My mother just doesn’t understand how much I love Jabari!

“Wake up, Lela. That man don’t love you! That man doesn’t love anyone but himself. The sooner you realize it, the better off you will be.

Jabari is getting married next month to the woman that he loves the most. And I’m quite sure that she doesn’t know shit about you. You should be counting your blessings. He is now her headache.”

“How can you say that I need to be counting my blessings? The man that I love and the father of my children is marrying someone else! That should be me walking down the aisle with Jabari next month . . . not her!”

“My child! I have tried to be as nice as I can, in order to spare your feelings. Now I’m going to give it to you raw and uncut!

This nigga asked you to get an abortion, when you got pregnant the first time. I understood you not wanting to kill your baby. Yet only three months after you had her, you turned around and got knocked up again! What the fuck was going through your head?”

“Ma, you don’t understand; I love him. He means the world to me!” I am yelling and crying.

“First off, watch your fucking tone when you’re speaking to me. I’m your damn mother and you will respect me. You sound dumb as fuck, Lela! Saying that man means the world to your ass! He don’t give two fucks about you, or your fucking feelings!

If he did, then he would’ve at least had the decency to tell you that he was getting married next month. Loving someone don’t mean shit, if it ain’t reciprocated! Get your shit together, Lela!”

“What do you mean
get my shit together
? My life is falling apart, all around me, Ma. My man is marrying someone else!”

“Newsflash Lela, he was never your man! He has
always
made that perfectly clear. You are the one living in a dream world! You’re making what y’all have, more than what it is! I know I showed you a lot of love growing up as a kid and so did your damn father! So why are you looking for a man to love you?”

“I’m not looking for a man to love me. I want the man who I love, to love me back.”

“Well, that ain’t gonna happen. So you need to get your shit together. You’ve got two kids to worry about and they, my dear . . . are depending on you.”

My mother keeps going on and on, about me leaving Jabari alone; about me walking away from the man that I have loved my whole life; the father of my children.

I can’t see that happening. I can’t see me walking away from him, just like that; in a blink of an eye . . . . It’s not going to happen. She can’t have what is rightfully mine.

Jazzlene is going to feel my wrath, for taking my man!