What Burns Away (24 page)

I myself came of age in that time of Halley's comet—and I remember learning its celestial folklore in school. I was completely obsessed with it. So when kids at my grammar school started wearing Halley's T-shirts and chewing Halley's Comet Rock Candy, checking the time on their Halley's Comet Swatch watches, I was all about it, even though I was equally fearful of the legends associated with that strange, bearded star. I studied the omens associated with comets, how the pass of a comet like Halley's often coincided with the births of two-headed calves, the deaths of kings, and the fall of empires. Later, as a teacher, I used my students as an excuse to dive back into those legends, imparting celestial folklore as part of my eighth grade curriculum. From the very onset of Claire's story, I knew that I would weave in elements of natural phenomena to demonstrate how life is often marked in seeming response to the natural world. I've always been fascinated by astronomical patterns that repeat themselves, and Halley's comet returns on a cycle that approximates the human life span, which makes it a wonderful device for marking narrative time in a novel—especially one where aging is a part of the through line. Here, the use of the comet punctuates the novel with a historic, scientific, and inevitably personal meaning.

Most of the characters in this story are at the onset of middle age. Can you discuss why you chose that as a narrative stance in the novel?

I have always loved coming-of-age novels, and for me, middle age is the second coming of age. That moment of realizing your youth is more behind you than in front of you gives a person pause. You have to decide what to let go of. You must redefine yourself and decide how you want to live out the rest of your life. It is the middle-age “awakening,” particularly in women, that I am interested in as subject matter. There is something about redefining yourself professionally, familially, and sexually that fascinates me. What was once sexy, what once felt like desire, is driven by different external factors. There is also a new embrace of simplicity or fancy, depending on who you are, and an unshrouding of former definitions of self. Because middle age is something we can't stop—because it is simultaneously happening to our husbands or our lovers—there is a redefinition of beauty too, finding what is left underneath the obvious youthful pretty. I loved writing a character in this space, acknowledging these things about herself. The process of that surrender for Claire is both brutal and transformative, and that is why I felt compelled to capture it.

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What Burns Away
by Melissa Falcon Field.

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I am incredibly grateful to the many friends who helped me in the writing of this book, most remarkably those early readers who gave frequent advice, direction, and the necessary tough love: Don J. Snyder, Debra Monroe, Dagoberto Glib, Suzanne Matson, Jan Elizabeth Watson, Sarah Braunstein, Dina Guidubaldi (toughest of all), Jaquira Diaz, David DeVito, Lucie Scholz (medal of honor for most reads in record time), Julie Michaud, Antonya Nelson, and, most especially, Bill Roorbach. To my Madison Fiction Writer's Group: Susanna Daniel, Michelle Wildgen, Jeannie Reynolds Page, Jesse Lee Kercheval, and Judith Claire Mitchell, thank you for guiding me through the editing process with love, wisdom, and enthusiasm and for making Madison, Wisconsin, my writing-life home.

The Bread Loaf Writer's Conference filled this story with fresh perspectives and new writerly friends to inspire the final revisions of this book, the Sequoya Branch of the Madison Public Library provided me with a beautiful workspace, and Mary Ellen Marchant took loving care of my son so I could live inside this story.

Most certainly, I would be nowhere without my editor, Shana Drehs, who understood Claire's motivations from the start, and the rock star team at my publisher, Sourcebooks, took wonderful care of me, especially Lathea Williams and Anna Michels. It was the talent, wisdom, and friendship of Jennifer Gates, my beloved agent, and the savoir faire of Lana Popovic that pushed me to discover the depths of Claire's story. Jen, you took a chance on me, for which I am forever grateful to you. And for everyone else at Zachary Shuster Harmsworth who read and gave feedback, I am so truly appreciative.

For all those summers in the mideighties full of Frosty Treat and the family beach walks inside the setting of this novel, thank you to my sister, Kristen Falcon-Shannon, and our loving parents, Kathleen and Patrick Falcon. Philip Horan, your memory still lives with all of us on that stretch of sand, evermore.

Finally, to the man who devotes himself in equal measure to his work and our treasured Noah, while challenging me to live outside my comfort zone, Michael Field, you told me that one day I would thank you for all that is unconventional and crazy in our lives. My gratitude, darling;
here
it
is!

Melissa Falcon Field was born in Hartford, Connecticut, and earned her BFA in creative writing from the University of Maine at Farmington and her MFA in fiction writing from Texas State University. She has been a recipient of the Katherine Anne Porter Writer-in-Residence appointment and attended the Bread Loaf Writers' Conference. Currently, she lives in Madison, Wisconsin, and spends summers along the coast of Maine.
What
Burns
Away
is her debut novel.