What He Bargains (What He Wants, Book Nineteen) (4 page)

A second later, I could tell he was getting close, but he pulled out of me.

“Spread your pussy.”

I spread myself open for him, leaning back and watching as he came all over me, shot after shot of hot cum, the ropes hitting my clit and covering my slit. He was branding me, making me his, and I wanted him to, wanted to be bad and dirty and do all the things he wanted.

When he was done, his grip on my ass loosened, and he slid my legs down to the floor.

He kissed me softly on the lips and held me to him for a moment.

I squeezed my eyes shut tight, wanting the moment to stretch into forever, the two of us high on each other, his body warm against mine. But I knew it couldn’t last.

Now that the adrenaline rush was over, now that he’d worked out his emotions and desire on my body, there were things to deal with.

Major things - the fact that I’d throw my ring away, the fact that Noah was
still
keeping secrets from me, the fact that the school was starting an investigation into our relationship, the fact that Noah apparently thought it was okay to leave me last night and then show up the next morning and pretend as if nothing had happened.

This time, I wasn’t going to let it go.

I
wanted
to submit to him sexually, needed it even. It stirred something up in me that was natural and instinctual, and it made me feel close to him. But in order to submit, I needed to trust him.

“Charlotte,” he murmured into my neck. “Oh, Charlotte.”

The two of us stood there like that for another long moment, his arms wrapped around me, neither of us in a rush to deal with the realities of our situation.

But then came sounds from the hallway -- the squeak of someone’s shoes against the floor, laughter, the soft hum of voices.

It was almost time for classes to start.

Noah pulled away from me and began buttoning his pants.

He reached down and picked my clothes up off the floor and began to help me get dressed.

“I can’t…” I said, once I was back in my clothes. “I can’t be seen with you.”

“What?” Noah asked. He pushed a strand of hair off my forehead and looked at me with concern.

“There was a complaint. Filed with the school and maybe…maybe the bar.”

He nodded, his expression grim but not surprised, and I could tell his mind had moved past any emotions he might have around my revelation and was already formulating a plan, figuring out how he would get me out of this.

“I’ll go out first,” he said. “Wait two minutes, then meet me at the car.”

“Okay.”

He kissed me again, and then he was gone.

I waited two minutes, my mind spinning, and then I went to the car.

W
hen I slid
into the backseat of the town car, Noah was waiting there, looking flawless despite what we’d just done. His black suit was still impeccable, his tie in the perfect knot, his shirt crisp and unrumpled.

“Hi,” I said softly.

“Tell me about the complaint,” he said immediately.

I shook my head. “No. Noah, I … first we need to talk about last night.” Jared started the car, and we began driving through the streets of Manhattan. It was full-blown rush house now, and the traffic was stop-start, which I somehow found very fitting. “Where are we going, anyway?” I asked.

“To the office. Clementine is bringing Lilah Parks over for a meeting so we can get more details about the night of her boyfriend’s murder.”

I nodded. “Okay. I have to be back by noon for class.”

“Fine.”

He reached over and took my hand, his fingers rubbing the place where my ring used to be. “We’ll get you a new ring.” He shook his head, and then his voice caught with emotion. “Charlotte, why…why did you do that?”

“I thought you’d left me.”

I saw the guilt flash over his face, saw the harsh truth – the he’d tried to leave me, that he’d been trying to get away from me but hadn’t been able to. This time. But what if one of these times, he left and never came back?

“Noah,” I said. “I’m scared. I don’t want it to be this way with us.”

His hand tightened around mine. “I need to keep you safe.”

“Stop saying that!” I was mad now, annoyed, and I pulled my hand from his. “I’ve stuck to my end of the bargain. I will submit to you sexually, Noah, I
want
to. But you have to tell me what the fuck is going on. Who is Lameuix?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“Stop the car,” I said, sitting up straighter on the seat and pulling away from him. “Stop. I’m done.”

“No, Charlotte.” Noah reached for me, but I struggled against him. He gripped me under my legs and pulled me onto his lap. I pushed my hands against his chest, but he was too strong, too solid, for it to have any effect.

“I can’t do this anymore, Noah,” I said, and I was crying now. “I can’t have no power, no information. I just can’t.”

“Jesus,” he said, and his hands were in my hair, his lips on my cheeks as he kissed my tears. “You think that’s what’s going on here? That I have all the power?
You
have the power, Charlotte. Without you, I am nothing.” He pulled back and looked into my eyes and I saw the vulnerability reflected there, true and deep. When he spoke again, his voice was tender. “You are beautiful and full of promise. Any man would be lucky to have you. You are it for me. You are the only one I will be happy with, the only woman I could ever spend my life with.
You
have all the power, Charlotte. The power to destroy me, because it is you, and you alone, that holds my every happiness.”

“Then why can’t you tell me who Lameuix is, Noah?”

He jawline hardened, and I could feel his walls coming back up.

“Don’t shut down,” I said, frustrated.

“If I tell you these things, Charlotte, then you won’t be safe. You have to understand what a difficult position that puts me in.”

“Fine,” I said. “I get that. But there are other things, things that have nothing to do with my safety that you won’t tell me.”

“I am willing to make some compromises, Charlotte. We can talk about other things, but this thing with Lameuix...” Noah shook his head. “It’s not something I can compromise on. These people…” he trailed off. “I’m sure they are behind the complaint to your school.”

“What?” I straightened up on the seat, my heart pounding. “What do you mean?”

“It’s a warning.”

“What kind of warning?”

“A warning to stay out of their business. And they won’t stop until you do.”

His words sent a shiver up and down my spine. Who were these people? They obviously had Mikayla, but it seemed to go beyond that, beyond just some crazy psychopaths kidnapping girls from a club. It went deeper than that, more dangerous. How did Noah know about them, what they were capable of?

“How do you know that?” I asked. Noah’s hand was on the small of my back, holding me against his body, and I reached up and grabbed at the knot in his tie, running my finger over the smooth, silky fabric, tracing the design.

“I can’t tell you that, Charlotte.”

“Why not?”

“I told you why not. Because the more you know about these people, the greater danger you will be in.”

“Like you can’t tell me about Lilah,” I said, shaking my head in exasperation.

He hesitated. “That is something we might be able to compromise on.”

I looked up, hopeful.

“I will tell Lilah today that unless she agrees let me share every detail of her case with you, then I will not be able to work with her.”

“You would do that?”

“I would do anything for you.” He tipped my chin up, and gazed deep into my eyes. “But you have to meet me halfway, Charlotte. You need to stop this thing with Mikayla.” He pushed my hair off my forehead, and his hand was warm and strong. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of his touch.

He pulled me toward him and kissed me, and I wrapped my hands around his tie, feeling the twist of the fabric, anchoring me to him, my love, my safety, my everything.

“I will take care of it,” he said. “But you need to stop.”

I nodded. “Okay.” He was right. I’d been acting crazy, gallivanting around the city like some kind of insane person. I thought I owed it to Mikayla, but at what expense? My safety, my career, the love of my life? It wasn’t as if I was any closer to finding her than I’d ever been.

And I would have promised Noah anything right then, would have promised him whatever he asked, just so we could go back to the way things were.

He took my hand and brought it to his mouth, grazing a kiss across my knuckles.

“I love you so much,” he said.

“I love you, too.”

I rested my head against his chest as the city rushed by us, enjoying the feel of his strong body against mine and knowing that under my clothes were the mark of his hands, the seed of his cock, filthy words scrawled across my skin that made me his.

It was our dirty little secret.

And I loved it.

T
he meeting
with Clementine and Lilah was to take place at Noah’s new office space. The staff hadn’t been brought over yet – they were still using the old offices. So when Noah and I arrived, we had the place to ourselves.

“There are fresh clothes in the closet in your bathroom,” Noah said as we walked down the hallway toward my office. “Lilah and Clementine will be here in an hour. You can freshen up and meet us in conference room B.” We stopped outside my office door, and he turned my hand over in his and inspected my wrist, where he’d made me write Property Of Noah Cutler on myself in black sharpie. He skimmed his finger over the words, and my pulse quickened. “Do not wash this off.”

And then he was gone.

I walked into my office, then closed the door behind me and sighed. I felt like I’d just been on a tilt-a-whirl, and now I was finally getting a chance to catch my breath.

I pulled my phone out to check my messages.

A text from my mother.

Charlotte, please call me.

My stomach rolled on itself as I thought about how I’d slapped her.

I knew I should apologize – whatever she’d done, she hadn’t deserved that.

And yet I didn’t feel like dealing with her right now. My mother had two different ways of dealing with conflict. One, just pretend everything was fine. Or two, ice you out and make little passive aggressive comments until you broke down and asked her what was wrong. Then she would bring up every way you’d hurt her, and if you’d try to do the same, she would apologize, but in an “I’m sorry you’re so sensitive” kind of way.

I decided I’d call her after the meeting. Now that Noah and I were back together, she would probably be thrilled and willing to forgive our fight.

I stepped through my office and into my adjoining private bathroom and took a long shower, being careful not to wash the marker off of my breasts and wrists. It wasn’t hard. With permanent marker, it was going to take more than just one shower for it to wash off.

I dressed quickly in a skirt and button-up cream blouse that I found in the closet, slipped into a pair of black pumps, swiped my lips with a slick of gloss and then walked quickly to Conference Room B.

When I got there, Noah was sitting at the head of the table, and he rose up and walked to meet me.

“Ms. Holloway,” he said. “You are looking more beautiful than ever.”

“Thank you, Mr. Cutler.”

He pulled me to him and kissed me, and I flushed. He unbuttoned the top of my shirt, just a couple of buttons, inspecting the top of my breasts, where he’d written BAD GIRL.

“You won’t wash it off until I allow it.” His hands slipped below my waist and cupped my ass cheeks. “It’s a shame you had to wash my cum off you,” he whispered into my ear and my breath caught. “But we’ll take care of that again later.”

There was a sound from out in the hallway -- the ding of the elevator.

Clementine and Lilah had arrived.

Noah gave me a cocky grin as his hands continued roaming over my ass, apparently not caring that we could be caught.

“Noah,” I protested, grabbing at his hand, but his hands continued roaming over my skin, pushing my skirt up.

I could hear the sound of Clementine’s heels clicking against the floor as they came closer.

I blushed hot at the thought of her catching me with my skirt up.

But Noah pulled it down just as the door to the conference room opened.

But he was still holding me close, his hand now on my waist, my chest flush with his.

“Oh,” Clementine said when she saw us. Her face, as always, was flawless, her skin poreless and perfect, her hair pulled back in a low bun. She was wearing a gold shift dress and pearls, and she was somehow able to look professional and sexy at the same time. My blouse and skirt, which had up until a moment ago seemed fine, suddenly felt like I was a kid trying to play dress up. “I’m sorry, I didn’t –”

“It’s fine,” Noah said. “Come in, come in.” He kissed me softly on the lips before letting me go, and I blushed at his public display of affection. For Noah, kissing me quickly the way he had was akin to taking out an ad in the New York Times.

Clementine’s eyes met mine, and I saw the look of annoyance that flashed there. Her eyes slid down to my open blouse.

I followed her gaze to where my top two buttons were undone, and you could see the top of the letters Noah had written on my chest.

But not all of them, thank God.

I quickly did the two buttons and pulled at my sleeves, making sure my wrists were covered.

Clementine gave me a knowing look of disgust and I blushed.

Had Noah done that to her too? Written dirty words on her body, branded her the way he’d done to me?

I shook the thoughts from my head.

I
was the one who was with Noah.

Clementine was just his ex-girlfriend. Or, his ex-submissive, rather.

I
was his fiancé.

His fiancé with no engagement ring.

Still. I had nothing to be ashamed about. I met Clementine’s eye as she pushed past me into the room.