What He Provokes (What He Wants #18) (7 page)

“What?” I asked. “What is it?”

“That’s why you thought you safe worded,” he said quietly. “When you didn’t.”

“What?”

“You don’t trust me. You think that if you’d used that word, if you’d said it, I might not have stopped.”

“No.” I shook my head. It wasn’t true. I knew Noah would stop if I used my safe word. I trusted him completely when it came to that. And yet the cold fingers of doubt were creeping through me, making me question everything. He hadn’t told me he knew Lameuix. What the hell else was he capable of?

“Anything I keep from you, I do it to protect you,” he said. “I made that very clear to you from the beginning.”

The limo was rolling to a stop now in front of our building.

I was tired.

My body felt bruised and broken, not just from the sex play, but from the emotional toll the day had taken on me.

“Let’s go inside,” I said. “We can go to sleep. It will look better in the morning.”

“I think it’s better if I stay at a hotel tonight.” His voice was sure, steady.

I keep quiet, not trusting myself to speak.

“You need time to think,” he continued, every word shattering my heart into smaller pieces. “And honestly, so do I.”

I wanted to protest, wanted to tell him I didn’t need time to think, that all I wanted was for him to come inside with me. I turned again and stared out the window. A bead of condensation hung on the glass, and it slid down smooth surface before disappearing.

“Why can’t we just be normal?” I whispered to myself, to him, to no one.

“We will never be normal, Charlotte.”

It was a variation of what he’d said to me outside the jail that day, the day I’d gone to visit Professor Worthington. Then, Noah had said it as a way to keep me happy, to make it sound like everything was fine, that even though we had challenges, we’d overcome them together, that everything would be okay because we loved each other.

I’d been naïve enough to believe him. I’d stood on those bleaches in Times Square and I’d accepted that ring and I’d thought everything was perfect, that our nightmare was over.

And now… now I didn’t know what to think.

It was like everything had been erased – Noah getting cleared of murder, Professor Worthington being put in jail. We were right back where we’d started, with him keeping secrets and me doubting him. I felt like I didn’t even know him, this beautiful man sitting next to me, the man I wanted to spend my life with.

“Where will you go?” I asked.

“I told you. A hotel.”

“And what… “ I licked my bottom lip and twisted the hem of my shirt nervously. “Then what will happen?”

“I don’t know.” He turned to look at me. “But I cannot be with someone who doesn’t trust me.” He shook his had. “I just can’t.”

“Noah,” I said, and I could hear the desperation in my voice.

I swore I could see his eyes get watery, swore I could see the swell of his chest as he moved forward on the seat, and then his face darkened again and he sat back.

“I’ll call you later,” he said.

I choked back a sob, and then I got out of the limo.

I stood there on the curb for a moment, not caring who saw me, the girl standing out here by herself in a long t-shirt, her hair tangled, her ankles rubbed raw from metal shackles.

I watched the limo until it was out of sight.

I waited a beat, allowing myself one final moment of hope, hope that he would change his mind, that the car would turn around.

But my life wasn’t some romantic comedy where Matthew McConaughey chases Kate Hudson over the Brooklyn Bridge and confesses his love.

This was real life.

And in real life, things were ugly.

They were fucked up.

Noah was right.

He couldn’t be with someone who didn’t trust him.

I slipped my engagement ring off my finger.

I studied it for a moment, the beautiful, simplistic elegance of the stone and the way it was cut. But it was just a mirage. It was just a stone. It was only worth whatever value we put on it, just like anything else in life.

I let it drop from my hands down the sewer grate, waiting to hear the satisfying sound as it hit the water below. But it landed at the bottom quietly, no sound, no finality.

I turned and walked into the building, feeling untethered.

N
OAH

I
watched
her in the rearview mirror, standing by the curb, dressed in my shirt.

She looked small. And lost.

I reached for the button that would roll down the partition, ready to tell Jared to stop, to pull over, to turn around.

Then I stopped.

She was everything I’d ever wanted.

But my job, above everything else, was to protect her.

It was to keep her safe.

And I was failing.

She knew now, about Lameuix.

She would try to find him. I couldn’t make her understand, couldn’t figure out a way to make her stop, to tell her she was in over her head, that what she was getting into was much more dangerous than what had happened with Professor Worthington.

And yet, she was in this situation because of me.

I’d gotten her involved.

They would look for her now, even if I could convince her not to go after them.

Her only chance would be for me to stay far, far away from her.

“My God,” I said to myself, and my head was in my hands as I bit back the scream that threatened to erupt from my throat. “My God, Noah, what have you done?”

E
nd Of Book Eighteen

Look for Book Nineteen, coming soon!

I
n the meantime
, check out the newest release from Favor Ford Publishing,
WICKED BAD (The Billionaire’s Fake Fiance, Book One)
, available now!

Wicked Mistake.

Skylar Kinsey’s life is in the toilet.

Literally.

She should have been starting her first job out of college, working at a prestigious advertising agency. Instead she’s in hiding, cleaning bathrooms and offices in a fancy high-rise building in Boston.

But when she catches billionaire Madden Cross in a compromising position, she’s faced with an impossible choice.

Wicked seduction.

Devilishly handsome real estate developer Madden Cross knows how to control everything, from his company, to his public image…and especially his women.

But when he first sets eyes on the innocent and curvy Skylar Kinsey, Madden knows that she will be his most difficult conquest yet. And there’s nothing that whets his appetite like a challenge.

Wicked Bad.

Soon, Skylar is presented with an offer that she cannot refuse. A weekend with the powerful billionaire in exchange for ten thousand dollars and the chance to start a new life.

But will the billionaire’s need to dominate her voluptuous body lead her down the path to hell, or will she find that even the wicked can sometimes be good after all?