What Lies Inside (A Blood Bound Novel, Book 1) (42 page)

“Sorry,” I replied with hesitation. “I guess I forgot to text you.”

Ty stepped forward, arms raised to embrace me. “Are you okay? You don’t look so good.”

My mind felt hazy as I straightened from the damp grass, absently noticing what looked like fresh scars across his torso. There was something important that I needed to do. With a little prodding the haze fogging up my brain shifted and I remembered. I couldn’t keep ignoring Ty’s calls and texts. I couldn’t keep putting the inevitable off. And I couldn’t continue to act like nothing had changed, when it had. Everything had. I had.

Ty’s arms circled around me and mine shot up, fingers curling around his biceps in negation. I pushed him back, catching him by surprise. Hurt flashed across his face. “Amelia, what’s wrong?” Confusion coupled the hurt in his eyes as I stood there shaking my head. His voice rose with worry. “Seriously. Are you sick or something? Talk to me!”

It was time. I knew exactly what I had to do. “Ty, I need to talk to you,” I began, struggling to piece together all the conflict still clouding my thoughts. “It’s about us. I won’t be returning to Rye. I plan to stay here at the Armaya.”

Ty’s eyes widened. He lunged forward grasping my hand. “What do you mean? What about us!”

Unable to look into his pleading eyes, my head turned away. I wriggled my hand free. “There
is
no us,” I stated. The lack of emotion in my sharp tone surprised not only Ty. Why was I being so cruel?

Ty raked his fingers through his hair. Desperation colored his tone. “Amelia, what’s happened? Why are you doing this?”

“It’s just not going to work.” My heart constricted with pain that almost brought me to my knees. My hand braced against the oak tree. I shook off the sensation then cracked my neck to the side. “
We
can’t work.”

“It can, we can,” Ty pleaded. Sweat beaded across his creased brow. “You know we can get through anything. We just have to stick together.” Dejection painted his expression, riddled by the pure grief I was causing. He moved within a split second, crushing me against his bare chest. His lips covered mine. “Amelia, I love you.”

Breath squeezed from my lungs. His proximity and touch still affected me, more than I cared to admit. Part of me still yearned for him. But a stronger part, like the Three Days Grace song ‘
Let it die
’, just didn’t care anymore. Sudden irritation flared at his refusal to accept the inevitable. It sent a sparking wave of fury from my core outward. I drove my hands into his chest and he stumbled. Without instruction my lips spat. “Well I don’t love you!”

The breeze suddenly intensified, whipping as if it were an extension of my hostility. My hair whipped behind my shoulders.

Seething rage suddenly twisted Ty’s expression. “What the hell is that?” The ferocity within his eyes prickled my skin. He was glaring straight at my neck.

My hand rose to find two fleshy bumps.
Bite marks?
I combed through my memories. My brain pulsed against my efforts, but offered no answer. “I-I don’t know.”

“So that’s what this is about?” The disgust that drenched Ty’s tone and expression struck a dagger through my heart. “There’s someone else.”

Disbelief widened my eyes. Of course there wasn’t anyone else. I had agonized over leaving Ty. I’d been riddled with guilt and despair ever since deciding. I had never wanted for a second to be apart from him. But everything had changed. I had changed. I belonged here.

Ty lashed out, striking the oak with a cracking blow. A deep split shot up from its center. “It’s him, isn’t it?” he accused, his disgusted stare propelling back at me.

There was no doubt he was referring to Kendrick. “You’re joking, right?” How could he even think that? I laughed and pulled my hair forward to cover the marks. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“How’d it happen, then?” Ty’s hands were balled into ready fists. His body began to tremble. “Just happen to fall and land in someone’s mouth?”

A recollection flitted to the surface. It was earlier in the week. The day I had felt so inexplicably weak and exhausted. The day I had almost crumpled to the floor when returning to my room. Except nothing had happened. I was certain of it. Kendrick had only helped me to bed, nothing else. Racking my brain, I tried to recall where I had been earlier that day. The memories seemed to slip away, fragmented pieces that refused to bond. “I-I can’t remember.”

Ty threw his trembling arms over his chest. “Well, that’s convenient. Isn’t it?”

A frustrated exhale whistled from my lips. “Whatever. It still doesn’t change the facts. We can’t be together. We never should have deluded ourselves in the first place.”

“I won’t accept this,” Ty growled. His voice dropped to an unstable whisper. “I can’t.”

I knew what I had to say, the only words that would force his acceptance. My throat choked up and a single tear rolled down my cheek. “Ty, you have to. I don’t want you anymore.”

A glazed look stole across Ty’s eyes and his body shimmered. He was becoming transparent before my very eyes. “Fine…” His mouthed word echoed through the trees. Then he disappeared and empty darkness swallowed me whole.

~

I woke to my stomach doing backflips. I rushed to the bathroom and shoved my head into the deep, round sink. Just in time. A split second later I was coughing up disgusting yellow bile. Something I ate? Not that I could recall eating dinner the night before. In fact I couldn’t recall eating dinner all week. The heaviness of a cinder block weighed down my head, and my heart ached with a sting of claws piercing through the muscle. I squinted. The fluorescents were too bright, gleaming against the pearl-white, floor-to-ceiling tiles. There was something very, very wrong.

While struggling to hold back the urge to heave, I swiped my mouth across the back of my hand. Then I splashed cold water over my face. When it seemed to be helping, I dared to stand upright. Blinking back pins that probed my eyes, I saw my reflection in the gold-framed mirror. The whites of my eyes were bloodshot, with heavy bags circling underneath. My flesh appeared grayish. My cheeks were gaunt. I looked like death warmed up. Like a corpse.

A blaring from across my room sounded, causing my heart to leap into my throat. It was my iPhone belting out a line from Skillet’s song, ‘
Sometimes
’. I bolted back through my room, snatching my phone from the bedside. Dizziness swelled up my head and I fell back onto the bed’s turquoise quilt.

“Amelia, it’s Dorian.” There was a distinct edge to his voice.

Guilt surged through me. “Oh, hey…” I hadn’t spoken to my brother since leaving Rye. I hadn’t even tried to call. Time here just seemed to slip away. But that was no excuse. “Sorry, I meant to call. Is everything alright?”

“Uh, not really…” He sighed. “What happened between you and Ty?”

The mention of Ty’s name struck fresh pain through my heart. I bolted upright. My brain pulsed against the dizziness of my abrupt movement. I clutched the paint-chipped edge of the bedside table to keep from falling. “Dorian, it was just time to move on. I have no future with him.”

“This doesn’t sound like you, sis. I know how much you were into him. You’ve never been like that about anyone. Not even Kendrick.”

My fingers tensed around the phone and I had to struggle not to crush it to pieces. Like Dorian had a right to judge. Besides, I couldn’t understand why he cared. He’d never approved of Ty anyway. Before Marika, he’d been the biggest chauvinist I knew. Always making girls fall in love with him, only to get bored and break their hearts a week in. “Feelings change, Dorian,” I snapped. “You know that better than anyone.”

“But you’re not like me.” Dorian sighed. “What you had with Ty was different. Even I can admit that. He also said you’re staying there. Is that true?”

Dammit! This wasn’t how he was supposed to find out. I snatched a chocolate biscuit from the bedside drawer and began nibbling nervously at its edges. “Dorian, I’m sorry. I was going to tell you.” The only response I got was my own chewing. “Dorian?”

“Yeah, I’m here.” An uneven breath blew through my ear. “I guess I just didn’t believe it. But I am glad you’re finally finding acceptance. Peace in being a vampire. It’s a good thing, really.”

“So you’re not mad?”

Dorian chuckled. “No. Besides, now I have a good reason to get out of this small town and visit.”

Relief curved my lips. “I’d like that.”

During our belated catch-up, Dorian bragged about finally being able to compel someone. Not that he would say who. Which left me to assume it was the latest girl he was into. At least he was over Marika. After that I gave a rundown of the Armaya and anything else I could think of. An hour later we said goodbye, promising to make more of an effort to keep in touch.

No longer feeling sick, I showered and chucked on some fresh clothes. Then I headed for the door adjoining Kendrick’s room. Today was the first day of the rest of my life, and I couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather spend my day with.

After knocking repeatedly, Kendrick drew open the door. His brow was furrowed, his expression distracted.

“Wanna hang out?” I asked, certain that with Marcus’s laid-back attitude he wouldn’t mind me skipping one day of tutoring.

Kendrick pursed his lips, not meeting my eyes. “I can’t. My schedules packed today… Rain check?”

“Oh. Okay.” I couldn’t hide my disappointment. A need to reveal my decision to remain at the Armaya surged within me, but now didn’t seem like the time. “What about tomorrow?”

Kendrick frowned, clearly distracted, but nodded. “Definitely.”

~

I left Kendrick to his ‘busy schedule’ and ventured down to the library after a quick bite to eat. The weight of my head seemed to be lifting. I was slowly waking up. My stomach, now satisfied with a meal and a full pint of blood, no longer swelled with nausea.

Once inside the library, I headed behind the freestanding stacks to the small desktop computer. Now certain my future was here, I wanted to learn as much as possible about what it meant to be a vampire. Plus knowing how this new world operated wouldn’t hurt.

Where to start? I drummed my fingers across the computer keyboard while ignoring the impulse to look up Ducati pictures. That’s not why I was sitting here.

A whispered, raspy voice reached my ears.
Compulsion
.

Startled, I turned to glimpse the librarian. She was reshelving books from a packed wooden trolley all the way across the room. There were a few other people reading around the central desks. The sound of their turning pages was crystal clear. But not one of them was looking my way. I frowned. Imagining things? It was the only rational explanation. Only the raspy voice and the word it had spoken was still fresh in my mind.
Compulsion.

With a shrug I keyed the word into the computer’s search engine. A page of results flashed up on the screen. The category was listed under
abilities
, with call numbers ranging from 2100 to 2189. I committed the numbers to memory. Then feeling an instinctual pull to follow, I headed for the wall shelves labeled ‘A.’

The bottom of the first row began at 1000 with the next spanning up from 3040. My gaze slip up the wall-lined shelves that ended just below the thirty-foot, glass-domed ceiling.
Going up…
With another shrug I clutched the wheel-footed ladder, minding the jagged splinter protruding from the wooden frame. Then I began climbing.
1500, 1700, 1900…

Finally two shelves from the ceiling I located 2100. Not knowing what I was really looking for, I pulled out the first hard cover.
Compulsion Effects.
I skimmed through, reading at a pace that surprised me.
Few vampires are able to use the full force of compulsion on humans and vampires alike. Royals namely reserve the ability.
I flicked ahead, reading faster than I ever imagined possible. Vampire speed and sight, I mused. Why had I been so against all this?

When I reached a chapter titled,
Compulsion and Side-Effects,
my skimming slowed and my brow knitted.
Memory loss, erratic behavior, dizzy spells.
The list of side effects went on and in-depth details to each followed. Something pulled within me, an alarm telling me this information was significant. It all just seemed too
familiar
. Lately my recall of events, even mundane things like eating meals, seemed a thickening fog. And how many dizzy spells had there been?
I was just hungry, malnourished, low on blood
, I assured myself. But a simmering paranoia was beginning to set in, coiling through my gut.

Deciding I needed to look further into the subject, if only to ease my mind, I shoved the book under my arm.
Keep looking…
The raspy voice was so soft that I questioned whether I had heard anything at all. Still, I gave in, reaching for the next book. As I went to pluck it from the shelf, something caught my eye. Wedged behind the book was a thin, age-worn hardcover with faded silver etching on the front. I pulled it from the shelf and flipped it open.
1729.
Calligraphic writing was printed inside the cover.
Diary of Uriel Aswind.
There were only a handful of blank pages and jagged paper edges where diary entries had been torn out. With a shrug, I was about to close the diary when an internal nudge caused me to pause. An overwhelming sense to view the inside back cover washed over me. I flicked through the remaining pages. There were no ink marks to indicate an entry. But the cover was not totally unmarked. Indents from a heavy-penned hand scarred the page, revealing a single gripping message.

We are neither alone nor safe. The damned intend to steal our souls.

Fear swooned within my chest and my heart began to pound against my ribs. I turned back to the inside cover, viewing the last person to check out the book. Marcus Vladimir. My brow creased. Had he ripped out the pages? Or had he been looking for something that was already gone?

A sinister suspicion warned that the message was important, that I needed to remember the words that were written there. Balancing on the balls of my feet, thirty-feet up, I released the ladder to pull my iPhone from the back pocket of my jeans. For a second I frowned at its lack of case, which I’d crushed in a fit of rage. At least that’s all I had broken. Then I typed the words into a post-it app. Find Kendrick. The words pulsed in my mind, compelling and unavoidable.