What Lies Within (12 page)

You loved him
.

It took all her will to hold back a bitter laugh. She’d been young. An utter fool controlled by her emotions. Controlled—and destroyed.

Memories started to flow. Images of faces she hadn’t allowed herself to recall for years.

No. Stop!
She gritted her teeth, forcing the scenes away, back into the recesses of her mind. Berto was in the past. She was done with him. With the mistakes. With being a fool.

Tears slipped free, despite her best efforts to restrain them. Fine, let them fall. But she wasn’t giving way to the memories. Not for a second. They were over and done with. That the merest hint of them made her cry only firmed Kyla’s resolve.

Nothing would ever hurt her like that again.

NINE   

K
yla, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please, don’t cry.”

Mason’s voice, so remorseful, so
astonished
, gripped her, making it hard to choke out words. “I’m sorry. Oh, Mason. I’m so sorry.”

At her wretched whisper, gentle hands closed on her arms. She let him pull her close against his chest, cradle her there, stroke the back of her head. “It’s all right, Kyla. It’s all right.”

His voice was familiar again, even and calm. She burrowed her face into his chest. “Mason, what’s
wrong
with me?”

He slid an arm around her shoulders and led her back inside. They sat on the couch, his arm still around her. She leaned into him. If only she could close her eyes and erase the evening. The day. The month.

The year.

“Are you really so unhappy?”

She snuffled against him. “I don’t know. I’m just so … weary.”

“I’ve seen that, for weeks. Maybe even months.” His arm tightened, as though to shelter her. “I’ve been worried about you.”

She pulled back at that and looked up at him. “You have? But you never said anything.”

The smile that tugged at his lips was as ironic as it was brief. “Would it have done any good?”

They both knew the answer to that.

“Kyla.” Lines appeared in his forehead, and she could tell he chose his words with care. “Have you ever considered—” He looked away. “No, never mind.”

Kyla tugged at his shirt front. “What?”

“It’s not fair of me to even suggest it.”

She watched the play of emotions on his face, disquiet wrestling with deference. Kyla’s heart warmed. She really didn’t deserve this man. “Mason, please. Tell me. What’s on your mind?”

“Why don’t you just give it up?”

Her lips twitched. “What? Stress? Sure, but how does one go about doing that?”

The warmth in his gaze dimmed, and he eased his hands free of hers. “Like I said, never mind.”

Quick alarm shot through her. She started to lay a hand on his arm but stopped. Instead, she pinched at his sleeve. “No, wait. I’m sorry. I was just trying to lighten the mood.”

He stood and paced to the open doorway out to the deck, looking at the wide river beyond them. “Kyla, it’s not my place to tell you how to live your life.”

She held her silence. He had more to say, and she’d give him time to sort through it.

“It’s just …” He turned back, and there was no denying the concern weighing his face and his words. “I worry about you. You seem more and more on edge lately. You don’t laugh or smile nearly as often as you used to.”

Kyla frowned. Was that true? She hadn’t realized—

“And I hardly ever hear you say anything positive about your work.”

She leaned back in her chair, thinking over the last few months. “I think that’s because it’s become just that, Mason. Work.”

“Then why don’t you walk away from it?”

Kyla came out of her chair. “Walk away? From Justice Construction?”

Mason covered the ground between them in two long strides, taking her hands in his, pressing them to his chest. “Kyla, you know how I feel about you. I’ve made it clear I want this relationship to be a permanent one.”

“I know, but—”

“If we were married, you wouldn’t need to work any longer. You’re meant for better things than letting the stress of running a construction company weigh you down.”

“I’m not weighed down.” She stood and went to look out the french doors leading to the balcony. “I’ve worked hard to get JuCo to the place it is now.”

“Darling, I know that. And you’re amazing at what you do.” His gentle tone firmed. “But what point is there in doing it if it doesn’t bring you a sense of joy or accomplishment?”

She bit her lip. What point, indeed?

The touch of his hand on her shoulder told her he’d come to stand behind her. “Sweetheart, you know the last few years have been good for Rawlins Building. More than good.”

Kyla nodded. Mason’s company had won a number of lucrative contracts from Ballat Enterprises, one of the top investment developers in the Northwest. She’d been so proud of Mason when those contracts came through.

“Why don’t you let me buy you out?”

She turned, eyes wide. “Buy me out?”

He took her by the shoulders, his grip gentle. “Think about it. We could merge the two companies. Even combine the names, so your father’s business continues to exist. And you could rest easy, knowing all you’ve done, the business you’ve built with such devotion, would be taken care of, that the employees would be treated fairly, and that the fine reputation you and your father built would go on. If you wanted, you could still be involved a little. But really. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to travel at will? To spend your days relaxing and even having a little fun? Isn’t it time you enjoyed some of the nicer things in life?”

He lifted her fingers to his lips and, much to her surprise, kissed the tips. “Please, darling, let me set you free.”

His lips on her fingers, his gaze caressing her face, Kyla waited for the surge of relief, for the overwhelming sense that this was the right thing to do.

And waited.

Nothing.

Well, that wasn’t quite true. She did feel something—a shiver skittering
across the top of her skin, like a smooth stone skipping over water, touching down just often and long enough to send ripples through her. But they weren’t ripples of delight. Far from it.

They were ripples of unease.

The silence between them stretched—along with Kyla’s nerves. Finally Mason let out a low sigh and released her hands. “All right, Kyla. I won’t press you.” His gaze caught hers, held it. And she saw something deep in those eyes.

Something that sent the stone skimming again.

“But someday soon, darling, you’re going to need to make up your mind. About your business.” He eased back into his chair, his gaze still locked with hers. “About me.”

Remorse swept her then. “Oh, Mason …” She moved toward him, and he held his hand out without hesitation. That simple act—acceptance in the face of her doubts … and in the face of what she’d put him through that night—moved her deeply. She took his hand and perched on the arm of his chair.

“I’ve already made up my mind about you.” She traced the long fingers laced with hers, and he chuckled.

“Have you, now?”

“I trust you, Mason. And I know you only want what’s best for me.”

“And?”

She bit her lip.

His smile tightened a fraction. “And you love me?”

Kyla straightened. “Oh, of course. Yes, of course I do.”

“Then say it.”

Kyla pulled back, but his arm encircled her, keeping her perched on the arm of his chair.

“Kyla, just say it. You love me.”

She tried to do as he asked. It was such a small thing, after all, to say those words to him. But when she opened her mouth, all that came out was, “I do.”

“You do what?”

“I …” What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she just say those words to him?

“Good grief! What is
that
?”

Kyla spun at Mason’s exclamation, just in time to spot a flash of tricolored fur skittering across the kitchen floor, then scooting inside the open lower cabinet.

Oh no! She glanced down the hallway to her bedroom. Surely she’d shut the door, hadn’t she?

“A rat!” Mason’s eyes were wide. “You’ve got a
rat!
”

For a moment she considered letting him think that, until he strode into the kitchen and pulled a broom from the closet.

“Mason!” She put herself between him and the kitten, which must surely be cowering in the corner of the cupboard. “No!” She took hold of the broom and wrested it from him. “It’s not a rat.”

“It’s not?”

It took a few moments to return the broom to its proper hiding place, and she used that time to think through what she was going to say.

Why? What’s the big deal? So you got a cat? So what? This is your house, after all. The man doesn’t live here
.

Kyla shook the troublesome thoughts from her head and knelt on the floor.

“Be careful! It might bite you.”

She angled a look over her shoulder, then went back to the task at hand. Sure enough, the kitten was pressed as far back in the corner as it could get. Kyla reached toward it, crooning. “Come on, Serendipity. It’s okay …”

“Seren—! Kyla,
what
are you doing?”

She spun around at his impatient bark and stood to face him, hands on her hips. “I’m trying to calm down a defenseless kitten that
you
terrorized. Now
hush
, Mason.”

To say he was astonished was far more than an understatement. The poor man’s face was mottled with color, and his mouth hung open.

He looked like something was trying to throttle him.

Probably his indignation, but Kyla couldn’t worry about mollifying him right now. She knelt again and, after a number of minutes, finally coaxed the kitten from the cupboard. She lifted it into her arms, noting how natural it felt to cuddle the little creature, and stood again to face the still-steaming Mason.

Kyla cleared her throat. “Mason, I’d like you to meet a fr—”

“It’s a kitten.” He looked like he’d just downed an unripe persimmon.

She couldn’t restrain her wry tone. “Yes,
she’s
a kitten.”

“But … what is it doing here?”

She turned sideways, as though to shelter the animal from his acerbic tone. “More to the point, she’s my kitten. Her name is Serendipity.”

“Your—”

She waited, but nothing else was forthcoming. He just stood there, staring at her as though convinced she’d taken leave of her senses.

So much for hoping he’d warm up to the idea.

She went into the living room, Mason following close behind. They sat, and Kyla told the tale again, just as she’d told it to Rafael. Mason listened, but the tightness around his mouth never lessened. When she finished, he sat there, hands on his knees, eyes fixed on the kitten in her lap.

“You’re keeping it.” Half statement, half disbelieving question.

Her reply was one hundred percent absolute. “I’m keeping
her
.”

His gaze lifted to hers, and she saw a hard edge there. “I see. So the fact that I don’t care for cats …?”

Kyla bit her lip. Why couldn’t he understand what this meant to her? “Mason, I’m sorry. But I really think if you’d just let yourself relax and spend some time with her, you’d find she’s really quite delightful.”

“And you know this after, what, a few hours?”

No. She’d known it within seconds. But she wasn’t about to say that out loud. She stood. “Let me get her settled in the bedroom, and make sure the door is closed this time, and we can discuss it more, if you like.”

By the time she’d dealt with the kitten and returned to the living room, Mason had his coat on. Alarm coursed through her.

“Mason, please—”

He took her outstretched hand. “Never mind, Kyla.” He tugged her close and slipped his arms around her. “It’s just a kitten. We’ll work it out. Somehow. I mean”—he almost smiled—“everyone can use a little Serendipity in their lives.”

Hope sparked as he hugged her, trailed a finger down her cheek, and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

She followed him to the front door, then watched him walk to his car
and drive away. As she closed the door and walked back into the living room, one question taunted her.

What is
wrong
with me?

Mason was a good man. A man of faith and integrity.

Faith?

She pursed her lips at the hint of doubt. Yes,
faith
. All right, so Mason wasn’t as vocal about his relationship with God as others—say Avidan or Jediah Curry, her sister’s fiancé. And yes, there were times Kyla wondered whether Mason’s profession of belief wasn’t more because he knew it was so important to her …

She shook off the troublesome thoughts. Mason’s faith was real. And it was private. There was nothing wrong with that.

Or with the man. Who, by the way, loved her. Wanted to marry her. Any woman would be thrilled to have a man like Mason offer to take care of her.