What Lies Within (49 page)

Authors: Karen Ball

Kyla noted the slight tremor in her sister’s voice. “Nervous?”

She nodded. “Not about getting married. But walking in front of all those people …”

Kyla knew what she meant. She’d peeked into the sanctuary before she got dressed, and was astonished at how packed it was. “Forget the people,” Kyla said, her smile both firm and tender. “Do what I plan to do. Focus on the wonderful man waiting at the end of the aisle. He’s the only one who counts.”

Annie couldn’t restrain a grin, and Kyla knew exactly what was coming.

“Good ol’ Kylie. Ever the Sister-Mommy.” Annie touched Kyla’s arm. “Especially when I need it. Thanks.”

“Okay, you two.” Dan looked from Kyla to Annie. “Here we go.”

Kyla fell into step beside her brother, the regal tones of Wagner’s wedding march ringing out around her as they started down the aisle. For a moment she caught her breath, aware of what seemed like a thousand eyes on her. Then she remembered her counsel to Annie, looked down the aisle, and felt her heart overflow.

Rafe stood there, Tarik at his side as his best man, so tall and strong. When Kyla’s eyes met Rafe’s, he smiled—and everything around them faded away. All her life she’d loved this man. Even before she knew he existed, she’d felt, deep within, the promise of him. Of the culmination of all God’s promises and blessings. And now …

He was here.

And he was hers.

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine
.

The words had never rung so true.

Suddenly, Kyla realized they’d stopped walking. She found Rafe’s gaze again, and the look in those dark depths made her heart pound.

Father, I don’t deserve this man, but I’m so grateful You’ve brought him to me. Please … help me make him happy
.

“Such beautiful women you two shmegeges don’t deserve.” A trill of laughter lifted in the audience as Fredrik, standing before them, a Bible in his hands, winked at Rafe and Jed. “But, since they seem determined to have you—?”

He arched his white brows at Kyla and Annie, and they responded together: “Absolutely!”

More laughter, and Fredrik lifted shoulders. “So, shows what an old man knows. You’ll be good to them, yes?”

Now Rafe and Jed spoke together: “Absolutely.”

“Oo-
rah!
”

This emphatic chorus of male voices almost brought the house down, and Kyla hugged Dan’s arm at the sight of the men from the Pride, in full dress uniforms, standing beside her beloved.

“Who gives these women to be married to these men?”

Dan answered Fredrik’s question, his voice strong and true. “On behalf of our mother and father and God Almighty, I do.”

Kyla resisted the sudden tears stinging her eyes. She watched Rafe come down the steps, then held her breath as Dan turned to her. He lifted her veil and pressed a tender kiss to her cheek.

“God is with you, Kyla. Now and always.”

She nodded, and he took her hand and led her a few steps forward. To Rafe. With tender reverence, Dan placed her hand in Rafe’s, and then stepped back to Annie. As Rafe’s strong fingers closed over Kyla’s, liquid joy coursed down her cheeks. He reached up to capture the tears on a finger.

“Are you ready, mija?”

She tightened her grip on his hand. “Just try to get away.”

His laughter enveloped her, wrapping her with warmth and joy and the sure knowledge that she was finally free.

From fear. From guilt. From the struggle against trusting herself and others. From the driving need for perfection.

In place of all that, God had given her the truest love she’d ever known. His—and Rafe’s.

And that was the only perfection she’d ever need.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. Kyla, Annie (Annot), and Dan (Avidan) share a unique characteristic: Their parents named them intentionally with the prayer that God would show Himself true in their lives to the meaning of their names.
Avidan
means “God is just,” so he dealt with issues of justice.
Annot
means “God is light,” and she struggled with seeing herself through the light of God’s grace.

Kyla Marie Justice had a
lot
to live up to.
Kyla
means “victorious”;
Marie
means “the perfect one.” And yet, in her own eyes, she was anything but victorious or perfect. What do the following Scriptures tell us about the source of our “perfection”?

2 Samuel 22:32–34

Psalm 18:29–31

Matthew 19:20–21

Romans 12:1–3

2. How important is the name we’re given? Do you know the meaning of your name? What, if any, impact has the awareness of that meaning had on your life?

3. Kyla struggled with making a serious mistake when she was younger. In light of such Scripture as Psalm 24:3–6, how can those of us who haven’t lived up to the requirements in this passage learn to forgive ourselves for wrong behaviors or decisions?

4. What Scriptures help you when you need to forgive yourself?

5. Rafael Murphy knew he was doing what was right in God’s eyes through his service in the Marines. And yet he was injured and disabled, unable to continue to fulfill that role. What plans or
dreams have you had to let go of? What helped you do so and move forward into a different future than you’d envisioned?

6. What do the following Scriptures tell us about trusting God with our plans and dreams?

Psalm 9:18

Psalm 33:10–22

Acts 2:25–26

7. Sam Ballat was consumed with bitterness because of his parents’ seemingly meaningless death. How do we reconcile the truth that God calls people to the mission field—and that may well mean they pay for that call with their lives—with the reality of His love and provision?

8. Gangs are an ever-increasing problem in our cities today. Why do young people join gangs? What can we, as believers in Christ, do to help keep the young people in our lives from falling into this kind of violence and darkness?

9. King Killa told Kyla that once you’re in a gang, you’re in for good. Blood in, blood out. You kill to get in; you die to get out. What answer can we give to someone who feels he or she is trapped so completely?

10. Kyla had a difficult time trusting Rafael, or even herself, because of the way Berto hurt her and broke her trust. Has there been someone in your life who hurt you deeply? Broke your trust? What helped you open up to trust again?

11. Kyla judged Tarik (King Killa’s younger brother) lacking simply because of his appearance. But Rafe saw something else in Tarik. He saw a young man willing to do what it would take to walk away from the life that trapped his older brother. Too often, we look at someone and assume, because of how he looks or where he
lives, that he’s lost. What do the following verses say about how we should see and help others who may not look or live like we do?

Deuteronomy 10:17–19; 15:10

Psalm 82:3–4

James 1:27

James 2 (yes, the whole chapter
)

12. What can each of us do to help young people like Tarik? Have you ever considered getting involved in a ministry that deals with inner-city youth or even a prison ministry? If not, what holds you back?

13. The Justice clan was given a legacy of faith, not just in their names, but in the examples of their parents’ lives. What can we do to leave a legacy of truth and faith for our children, or for the young people in our lives?

GLOSSARY

Y
IDDISH
W
ORDS/
T
ERMS

aleyken sholem
—answer to sholem aleykham

baleydikung
—insult, offense

bubele
—darling, honey, sweetie (an endearment)

eingeshparht
—stubborn

farshtaist?
—understand?

gedaingst
—remember

genug shoyn
—enough already

gey gezunterheyt
—go in good health

Got zol ophiten
—God forbid

Loyzem gayne!
—Let them go! Leave them alone! Let them be!

mein kind
—my child

mishegas
—foolishness

mitzvah
—a good deed

schmegeges
—goof, idiot

schmendrik
—inept nincompoop

Sha shtil!
—Be still!

Sholem aleykham
—Hello, peace be with you
zeyde
—grandfather

(sources:
www.bubbygram.com
;
www.askmoses.com
;
www.koshernosh.com
;
www.yiddishdictionaryonline.com
;
www.linguanaut
;
Yiddish Phrase-a-Day 2007 Calendar
, Barnes & Noble: New York)

S
PANISH
/S
PANGLISH
W
ORDS

abuela
—grandmother

¿Aqui entre nos, entienden?
—This is just between us, understand?

hermana
—sister

hermano
—brother

jefe
—chief

lo juro
—I swear

’manita
—an affectionate shortening of hermanita, which means little sister

mi amor
—my love

mi corazon
—my heart

mijo/mija
—an informal term of endearment that can mean anything from my son/my daughter, to my friend, to my love.

mira
—look; used as an exclamation or way to get someone’s attention

nunca
—never

porfa
—“please,” shortened version of
por favor
used in conversation with friends and family

¿Por qué andas tan brava?
—What’s wrong with you?

sabor a cielo
—”taste of heaven”

Te amo, mi cielo
—literal translation: I love you, my sky.
Mi cielo
is an endearment.

todos
—all, everything

tu creo que
—you think that.

una cretina, uno cretino
—an idiot

vale
—okay/sure

verdad
—true

(sources:
Streetwise Spanish
, Mary McVey Gill and Brenda Wegmann, McGraw Hill, 2006;
Spanish Among Amigos Phrasebook
, Nuria Agulló, McGraw Hill, New York, 2006)

G
ANG
T
ERMINOLOGY

beat down—a beating

cop to—admit to

crib—home

dance—fight

dime—a perfect 10; a good-looking person

dip—to run away fast

down with it—okay about something

drop a dime—snitch; call the police on someone

dumm—stupid

dusted—killed

fo sho/fo shizzle—for sure