Maggie sat on the floor.
“Hi, Mom,” she said, trying to
sound chipper. Mom preferred her children chipper.
“Hello, Maggie. How are you doing?
I haven’t heard from you in a while.”
“I’m fine. I’ve been really busy;
you know, starting my new job and all.” Now that Mom was finally beginning to
accept that Dave wasn’t coming back, she’d moved on to work, grilling Maggie
about her future. So Maggie hadn’t bothered to tell Mom that her new job was a
part-time position. It was just easier that way.
“I hope you’re not falling into
that same trap again and putting all your time and effort into your work.”
“I’m not. This place is much more
reasonable. I haven’t worked any overtime yet.”
In fact,
I’m not even working full time
.
“Well, that’s good. Speaking of
jobs, what’s Kevin doing? Is he looking for a job? Are you helping him?” She
interrogated Maggie, wanting to know what Kevin did with himself all day and
whether or not Maggie encouraged him to search the Want Ads in the paper.
“People don’t look in the paper
anymore. Everything’s online. Besides, I’m his sister, not his career
counselor. Look, I’ve got to go; we’re in the middle of painting the office and
Kev’s waiting for me. I’ll talk to you soon.”
She hung up as Kevin walked back
in, followed by Kona. Frustrated, she let out a loud sigh. The mood-boost she’d
gotten from Bob Marley and the “no worries” vibe Kevin had been pushing long
gone.
Kevin tried to pick up the drop
cloth, which Kona had stretched out on.
How is it
possible that he has such a free and easy relationship with Mom?
“How come she grills me about
your
job hunting?” Maggie asked.
He gave her his
answer-to-everything shrug. “I’m the baby. You’re the oldest. I’m a boy; you’re
a girl. Sucks to be you, but she’s never going to change. You need to get over
it already. You’re forty-two. Are you always going to let her get to you?”
“I’m not forty-two; I’m forty-one.
And she just really knows how to push my buttons.”
“Did it ever occur to you that
maybe you have really big buttons?” He held up his hands indicating a square
large enough to toss a basketball through.
She chucked a roll of tape at him.
“It’s these painter’s pants; they make my buttons look big.”
Kevin caught the tape and walked out
laughing, tossing it in the air. She watched him go and hoped his
happy-go-lucky vibe might be contagious.
Then she studied her dog. He lay on
his back in the center of the room, frozen in the position Kevin had rolled him
into while pulling the drop cloth out from under him.
Look at him.
Not a care in the world
.
“How’s my silly puppy?”
He twisted to look at her, but
remained on his back. His tail whacked the floor.
I’m sure he’s
completely forgotten he was in trouble with me this morning over the cat poop
caper. But, maybe he’s got the right idea. Forget the past. Live in the moment.
Hmmm. Maybe I could try to be more like him
.
“Wish I could trade places with
you, just for a day or two.”
Kona yawned, a long, noisy
protracted harrumph.
“You’re right. I’m bored with being
too introspective, too. And we don’t need to trade places. I’m just going to
try to go with the flow more. You can be my guru! And I’ll follow your lead, or...
your dogma, as it were.”
It had been five weeks since Kevin
moved in, and Maggie was settling into her new routine. She worked three or
four days a week (the job was OK; not exciting, but not stressful either); she
walked Kona almost three miles each morning; Tuesdays meant yoga and sometimes
tea afterwards with Helen (she felt too guilty going for drinks after being so
healthy at yoga, and convinced Helen decaf green tea was the perfect post-class
beverage); she rode her bike one day during the week and again on Sundays; and
she had recently started volunteering at MAMA every Thursday evening. She and
Kevin were working their way through the house To Do list (although sometimes
adding a new item for every two or three they scratched off), and she repaid
him by treating for lunch or dinner. Russell often traveled for work, but if he
was in town he joined them. He always made her laugh, so she liked it when he
came along.
This weekend was Russell’s
birthday, so she and Kevin had invited him for a combined
birthday-and-July-Fourth barbecue. While Kevin stayed home marinating the
steaks, Maggie picked up a cake at her favorite bakery, Baked Greats, the place
where she liked to say her butt wanted its ashes sprinkled. There, she ran into
Kevin’s ex, Annie.
Maggie wasn’t surprised to see her;
after all, Annie had introduced them to this out-of-the-way shop that always
smelled of yeast and buttercream frosting. She was as beautiful as ever, with
her toned legs and thick blonde hair. The July afternoon, combined with the
bakery ovens, warmed the shop, but Annie looked as perfect as a magazine cover
in her ivory linen shorts and salmon-colored silk tank top. She stood at the
back of the Saturday crowd. Maggie waved as she took a number. When Maggie
walked over, she noticed shadows under Annie’s pale blue eyes.
“I can’t believe I ran into you,”
Annie said after they exchanged polite greetings. Annie turned away, poked in
her purse, counted the people ahead of her in line.
“What do you mean?” Maggie asked,
wondering why Annie was acting so distant. Sure, she wasn’t part of the
“family” now, but she’d always been warm and friendly before.
“I’m only in town for my parents’
anniversary party.”
“What do you mean?” Maggie
repeated. “You moved?”
“Didn’t Kevin tell you I moved to Boston
last month?” Maggie looked at her with a blank expression. Annie rolled her
eyes and muttered, “That is
so
Kevin.”
She told Maggie how her brother,
Jeremy, whose graphics software company in Boston had taken off, had offered
them “great” jobs around the end of May. Kevin would have been in charge of North
American sales.
“But he told me he ‘couldn’t
possibly move to Boston right now.’ It didn’t make sense, because he’d already
quit his job here. But I knew he said it to get me to go alone because...
because he didn’t love me. I mean, I knew he’d had a million girlfriends, but I
thought things were different with us.” Tears welled up in her eyes, and she
looked at the ceiling as if to will them back behind her cheeks. She fanned
herself with her hand. “It’s really hot in here. Anyway, when he said he couldn’t
move, I... kinda lost it. Called him a coward and... said he had less
‘relationship balls’ than any man I’ve ever met; that he’s a ‘relationship
eunuch.’ It got ugly; I started sobbing and he stormed out. Other than a couple
of text messages about getting his stuff out of my apartment, I haven’t talked
to him since.” She ran her fingers through her bangs. “And, that’s it. A couple
of weeks later, I moved. End of story.”
Maggie was spared thinking up
something to say when Annie’s number was called.
Maggie watched her place her order.
That’s Kevin for you. They fall in love with him, but he
just cannot commit. Poor Annie
. She wondered how two siblings could be
so different when it came to relationships: she’d been with Dave her whole
adult life, whereas Kevin had had so many girlfriends she’d never be able to
name them all. He probably couldn’t either.
Maggie had thought that if any
woman could stay in the picture, it would be Annie. But when Kevin told her
they broke up, Maggie figured she’d been wrong and it was the same old story.
She chalked it up to his being, well, not so much a “commitment-phobe,” since
Kevin didn’t fear anything, but rather commitment-intolerant. It didn’t seem to
agree with his system.
Annie turned from the counter, pink
cardboard box in hand.
“Wait up. Let’s go for coffee,”
Maggie suggested, then asked the girl at the counter for a carrot cake. She
wanted to try to cheer Annie up; try to make up for her brother in some way.
“No, I’ve gotta go,” Annie said.
“My family’s waiting for me. Or, for the cake anyway.” She held up the box by
its twine bow and gave a tired smile.
“Are you sure?” Maggie asked. “At
least come to my car with me. I’ve got something of yours.” She handed over her
money and hefted the box.
“What could you have of mine?”
“Kevin gave me your yoga mat to
‘borrow,’” she made air quotes with her fingers. “If you want it back, it’s in
the car. I was just at my class the other night.” She pointed to her Civic
across the lot and walked toward it. “I’m really enjoying it.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking
about.” Annie stopped, head to one side.
“It’s not your mat?”
“I don’t do yoga.” Annie said.
“Look, I’ve got to go. Tell Kevin I said, I don’t know, just... tell him I said
hi.”
~~~
When Maggie got home, Russell was
already there. He’d come early and was out back with Kevin and Kona. She could
see them, drinking beers at the patio table while Kona eyed the meat sizzling
on the grill. She set the cake box on the counter and went to the fridge for a
beer of her own. Her stomach growled when she smelled the steaks through the
open patio door.
She heard Kevin saying, “So, what
do you make, like doilies or something?”
“No, that’s crocheting, you moron.
You don’t knit doilies.”
Maggie slid open the screen door.
“What are you guys talking about?” she asked as she joined them at the table.
“Sports,” Russell said.
“Uh, yeah,” Kevin said. “You
entertain our guest while I go make the salad.”
When he’d gone inside, Maggie
scooted her chair next to Russell’s and whispered, “What do you know about
Kevin and Annie breaking up?”
“Not much. Just that Annie wanted
to move to Boston and Kevin said something like he couldn’t go then, which I
thought was weird. He’d quit his job. I didn’t understand that.”
“Did you ask him why he didn’t go?”
“Hello? We’re men. We don’t mine
our deepest feelings over cosmopolitans.”
“Of course. Forgive me. Heaven
forbid you should discuss your actual hopes and desires.” She peeked at Kevin
through the window, tearing up lettuce into her big wooden salad bowl. “Maybe
he just didn’t love her. Maybe he was trying to get rid of her.”
“I don’t think so.” Russell shook
his head. “With Annie, he was different. I’ve seen Kevin with some of his gals
before. He didn’t say anything after she left, but he’s got about as good of a
poker face as Kona does. I think he really misses her.”
“Huh, that’s odd.” Maggie told
Russell about seeing Annie and having the same feeling: that she missed Kevin
and still loved him. “Hey, did you say he doesn’t have a poker face?”
“Oh yeah. It’s terrible. You know
how he’s always smiling and laid-back? Well, when he’s got good cards, he gets
all serious. It’s pretty entertaining, actually. It was the same with Annie.
With other gals, he’d sort of joke around when he talked about them—not mean,
but just guy stuff. But with Annie, he’d get real serious when he talked about
her. She was good cards.”
Maggie mulled this over. “Must make
him easy pickings at his poker game.”
“Kevin’s in a regular game? That’s
news to me. I’ve got to get in on that; relieve him of some of his money.”
“Yeah, every Tuesday.”
“No. You must have the day wrong.
Tuesdays we go out to eat or grab a beer. We went to that new sushi place in La
Jolla this week.”
“This past Tuesday?” Maggie asked.
“What’s that look for? Yeah, this
Tuesday. Oh, I get it. You’re mad because we didn’t invite you. Look, I wanted
to. Lord knows you’re softer on the eyes than that mug,” he jerked his head
toward the window, where they could see Kevin tossing the salad. “But he said I
shouldn’t ask you because that’s your yoga night, and we shouldn’t tempt you
away cuz it’s good for you.”
“Oh, did he?” She sat up straight
and put her beer down with a thunk on the glass tabletop. “First of all, my
brother is not my social director. And if you want to ask me to go somewhere,
you should just ask. It’s not up to him how I spend my time. And second of all,
why the hell would he lie and tell me he’s got a running poker game on
Tuesdays?”
“Did I say Tuesday? I meant
Thursday. Sometimes on Thursdays we go out.”
“Do
not
try to backpedal and save your friend’s ass. He has some explaining to do.”
Kevin walked out with the salad and
flashed his best contract-closing smile at them. “Am I interrupting anything
here?”
Maggie stood up. “Would you mind
telling me why you’ve been lying to me about your supposed Tuesday night poker
game?” She could feel heat creeping up her face like a rash. “And why the hell
would you tell me Annie took you to yoga, when she doesn’t even do yoga?”
“How do you know she doesn’t?”
Kevin, frozen in place, continued to hold the salad bowl out to them, like some
sort of romaine-wielding mannequin. “Did you see her?”
“Yes, I saw her. Don’t try to
change the subject. I want to know what the hell’s going on. And what is up
with telling Russell not to ‘tempt’ me away from yoga? You are not my frickin’
babysitter. You better start telling me what is going on, or you can just get
out of my house.”
“Um, I’m, uh, going to go...”
Russell rose from his chair and slipped sideways toward the house.
“I don’t know, Russell,” Maggie
railed on. “Better check with the puppet master here; he might have plans for
you and me.”
Kevin nodded at him. “Yeah,
probably best if you just go.”
Maggie watched Russell walk toward
the back door and saw the pink cake box on the counter.
Shit.
It’s his damn birthday
. “No, wait, Russell,” she stormed past him. “You
stay. I’ve gotta get out of here for a while.”