What the Heart Knows (14 page)

No matter how their story ended it’d been worth it. Number one hundred on her list had been to know love, and he’d given her that. 
Which is why I need to fight for him! Maybe he doesn’t want that. Only way to know is to ask him
,
Juniper. You’ve never been a coward
.
D
on’t start now
.
A part
of her wanted to lie
down on the ground and kick and scream like a toddler who didn’t get her way. After all she’d been through
,
it’
d be a well
-
deserved meltdown.
B
ut it wouldn’t
re
solve anything. She needed to approach this situation with a clear head or she’d lose.

Hannah was more than just powerful; she was a master of manipulation. She knew every button to press when it came to Oliver, and she’d played
Juni
like a game system. It had never occurred to her that she’d be visited in her dreams. She licked her dry lips, and cleared her throat as she ran over what she wanted to say.

“I know this must be hard for you
,
Oliver
.
T
alk to me.”

“And say what? This whole thing is my fault
,
Juni. If I’d never chosen Cupa you wouldn’t be involved in any of this mess.”

“That’s not what I care about.”

She watched him out of the corner of her eye, and
took a shaky breath. Her Mother had always said if you didn’t want to know the answer to a question, you shouldn’t ask it. If Oliver answered wrong
,
things could end prematurely.

“Since you told me the ghost was Hannah you’ve shut down again. I thought we were past that.”

“Are you honestly telling me you foresee a future beyond this?”  His voice was a lazy drawl from the alcohol.

“Suddenly you don’t?”
Anger made her words sharp. 

“I just found out the woman I’ve been mourning for the past two years blames me for her death. So if you want to know if my mind is in
turmoil the answer would be yes
. I’m torn in two different directions.  I love you, but I owe her.”
          
“Owe her what
,
Oliver? Has it ever occurred to you, she chose to stay behind and whatever’s resulted from that is on her?”

“So I should just leave her to the wolves without trying to put her to rest
?
”

She clenched the steering wheel tight, and gritted her teeth.  It was admirable of him to want to do the right thing. Normally she’d commend him.
R
ight now
, however
,
her give
-
a
-
fuck seemed to be broken.

“Forgive me if I’m not sympathetic.”

“I’m not asking you to be
,
Juni.
I understand why there
’s
no love lost between you.
I’d feel the same way if I w
ere
you.
But I have to make sure I can live with myself after it’s all said and done.”

She snorted and bit back a retort as she turned her attention back to the road. The last thing she wanted to do was say words in anger she couldn’t take back.

Oliver had never been so glad to leave a car in his life. He knew he was sending mixed signals, but at this point he should be given a pass for the serious mind fuck throwing him off balance.  The inches that separated them felt like miles as they made their way up the walkway to Madeline’s house.  It was a completely different scenario from the last time. The irony didn’t escape him.  He stood behind Juni
as she rang the doorbell, with his hands
in his pants pocket. He rocked back on his heel when Madeline opened the door.

“Come in
,
my children. I see things have changed since you were here last.” 

She ushered them into her house, and they made a beeline for the room she’d seen them in previously.  They sat at the table
and she spoke
.

“You’ve figured out who the ghost was,” Madeline said.

“It’s my wife,” Oliver said.

“Tell me everything,” she said.

Twenty minutes later Oliver sat beside Juni, drained and quiet. No matter how many times he told
t
his story, it
would
never g
e
t easier.

“Normally when you’re being haunted by a ghost, it’s attached to a certain object. You destroy the object, and they lose
their grip on this plane. I
n your case, that’s not possible.”

“
It’s my heart,
”
Juni said.

“I’m afraid so.”

“Does that mean there’s nothing we can do?” Oliver asked. 

“You have to convince her it’s time to let go.”

“I’ll start making out my will now,” Juni said.

“That’s not funny!”

“I’m not laughing
. She’s held on to you for two
years, and you couldn’t even see her. Now that she has a body just ripe for the picking
,
why would she leave?”

“Because that’s not who she is.”

She snorted.
“I think you mean, that’s no
t who she was.”

“Even with all the things she’s done, some of the old Hannah exists. I’ve seen glimpses of it
. I just need to reach her,
”
he said.

“Right, because you’re not biased.”

The bitterness in her voice caught him off guard.

“I’d think you’d be happy there’s still something left to save.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, and clenched her jaw as she lapsed back into silence.

“This is exactly what she wants,” Madeline said. “She feeds off anger and resentment. It’s her sole purpose in life now to push the two of you away from each other as she worms in and plants seeds of doubt and mistrust. If you continue this way, she’s already won.”

“We need to put our emotions aside for now,” Oliver said.

He took her hands in his, and turned to look in her eyes.

“After we handle Hannah we can get things sorted out between us, but if I lose you…”

She nodded to indicate her agreement, but her body remained rigid, and she slipped her hands from his.

“Tell us what we need to do
,
Madeline,” Juni whispered.

“Oliver, you must remind your wife of all the good times the two of you had before the accident, and what kind of person she was.”

“How do I do that?”

“That you must figure out on your own.”
Thanks
,
Madeline.

“Juniper, you must help keep him grounded. Hannah will use everything she has to drag him back down and make him forget how far he’s come. Don’t let her make you feel powerless. You have an incredible strength, and a potent aura of positivity and light. As long as you remember who you are, and what’s important to you
,
she’ll be at a disadvantage.”

“How can you say that when she just took her over less than twenty-four hours ago?”
Oliver asked. He didn’t need her to blow smoke up their asses. He needed her to give it to them straight.

“That was nothing more than a pot shot. She saw an opening and took it
,
knowing you wouldn’t be on guard against an invasion.”

“What happens after I get her to remember?” Oliver asked.

 
He was ready to end this. He’d spent the past two years being in limbo
.
H
e didn’t like getting jerked back to the same place again. It was like being in purgatory, or the waiting place Dr. Seuss had once mentioned.

“We’ll do a ceremony to help her cross over,” Madeline said.

“That’ll
work?” Oliver asked.

“Yes.”

“T
hen let’s get everything set up,
”
he said.

“Do you have a plan?” Juni asked.

“Not yet. I’m kind of flying by the seat of my pants here.”

“Nice to see I’ve taught you something.”

The response made him think there might be something left to salvage when they were finished. 
Providing your feelings
are
n’t ghost induced or cellular memory.
Cellular memory was the concept that somewhere in
one’s
cells, bits and pieces of memories were stored.  He’d read about it a time or two
. The question
was, if that was the case, could he in g
ood consci
ence
continue to see Juniper?  Even without Hannah activ
ely affecting her mood
,
there might be
an inclination to be with him that was out of her control. Would they be together now if they’d met and she had someone else’s heart? He turned the question over and over in his mind, and drew a blank for an answer. There was no way to know, really. 
Now isn’t the time to get philosophical! Focus on laying Hannah to rest first.

“How much time do we have until she completely takes over my personality?” Juni asked.

“I’m not sure
.
T
he heart is t
he life source of a person, the place
where the soul lives. There is residual energy from Hannah living inside of you. By now I
imagine you’ve felt the effect
, fatigue, headaches?”

Juniper nodded. The pensive look on her face aged her, and strengthened his resolve.

Madeline turned to look at Oliver.

“You need
to figure this out quickly,
put your plan into action before she catches on to what you’re doing.
If she hardens her heart to you
, there will be little chance for success.
The next step then would be an exor
c
ism.
”

He swallowed to moisten his dry throat and nodded. This needed to be handled with precision.

After a few days of contemplation and an eerie calm on the ghost front, Oliver had come to a painful conclusion. The only way to make Hannah remember who she’d been was to go back to the beginning.
Problem was that meant dig
ging up all the thing
s
he’d spent the past two years avoiding. Stuck between a rock and a hard place he’d pulled the boxe
s
out of the garage one by one and placed them in the living room. He was currently surrounded by various brown squares. Each one felt like it had the potential to contain a grenade.

God must hate me.
He opened up the first box, and unveiled a group of photo albums that showcased his life with Hannah. Oliver picked up a thick, black bound book that contained everything from their last year together. His hand shook as he thumbed through the plastic covered pages. A wave of emotions crashed over him and he choked back tears. Hannah and he had been really happy. Their company had started really bringing in money, their marriage was solid, and they’d begun to talk about trying for a baby. He felt guilty not only for her death, but
also for
the destruction of possibility.

He traced the picture of the two of them with his niece Kaya at the zoo. Kaya had been five at the time. With her dirty blond
e
hair and hazel eyes, most people had mistaken
her for their daughter. It was then they
’d
realized they
like
d
the sound of it
and
decided to start trying
for one of their own. Hannah
stopped taking her pill, and three weeks later she’d been killed. He pulled the plastic cover away and pulled out the picture. If any memory would still move her, this would be one of them.

He took a deep breath and snuck a glance over at the couch where Juni still slept. She’d taken to living
with him
since they left Madeline’s
,
afraid that Hannah would return and make her do something she couldn’t take back to one of her family members or friends. He was grateful
s
he’d fallen asleep. If she saw him like this, she might take it personal
ly
. He wiped a
way the drops of liquid that
seeped out the corner of his eyes and moved on with his search.  It would take more than just this to break the icebox that existed where her heart had once been.