What to expect when you're expecting (179 page)

Bottle Baby

Chose the bottle, or the combo? Getting started bottle-feeding is usually a lot easier than getting started breastfeeding (especially because formula comes with instructions, but breasts don’t). But there’s still plenty to learn, and you can read all about it in
What to Expect the First Year
.

Pump it up.
If your babies are in the NICU and are still too small to breastfeed, or if you need some extra help getting your supply stimulated in the early going, consider using an electric double pump. Later, pumping will allow you to get a few precious extra hours of sleep while someone else feeds the babies. Don’t get discouraged if the pump doesn’t get you going—no pump can empty a breast as well as a baby can. But regular stimulation from a pump (and your babies) will pump up your milk supply eventually.

Nurse two at a time (or not).
You’ve got two breasts and two (or more) mouths to feed. Are you up to feeding two babies at once? You just might be, especially with a little help (like from oversize nursing pillows for twins). An obvious—and big—advantage of tandem nursing two babies is that you don’t spend all day and night nursing (first Baby A, now Baby B, and back to Baby A, and so on). To nurse two at the same time, position both babies on the pillow first, and then latch them on (or you can ask someone to hand the babies to you one at a time, especially while you’re still getting used to the juggling act).

Tandem Nursing

Some mothers of multiples prefer to nurse one baby at a time, finding it easier and more satisfying. Others would rather not spend all day breastfeeding and find that nursing two babies simultaneously saves time and works well. Here are two positions you can use while nursing two at the same time: (1) Position both babies in the football (or clutch) hold. Use pillows to support your babies’ heads. (2) Combine the cradle hold and the football hold, again using pillows for support and experimenting until both you and your babies are comfortable.

If tandem nursing doesn’t appeal to you, don’t do it. You can bottle-feed one (using either pumped milk or formula, if you’re supplementing) while nursing the other (and then switch off), or nurse one baby after the other. Some babies are very efficient, taking a full feed in only 10 or 15 minutes. If this is the case with yours, count your little blessings—you won’t spend any more time nursing than the average tandem feeder.

Got three (or more) babies to feed? Breastfeeding triplets (and even quads) is possible, too. Nurse two at a time, and then nurse the third one afterward, remembering to switch off which baby gets solo suckling time. For more information on breastfeeding higher-order multiples, check out mostonline.org or tripletconnection.org.

Enlist twice as much help.
Get as much help as you can with housework, meal prep, and infant care, to conserve the energy you need to fuel milk production.

Treat each diner differently.
Even identical twins have different personalities, appetites, and nursing patterns. So try to tune into the needs of each. And keep extra-careful records to make sure each baby is well fed at each feeding.

Give both breasts a workout.
Switch breasts for each baby at each feeding so both breasts are stimulated equally.

Give It Time

So you’ve been a mom for a week (with the stretch marks, postpartum pains, and bags under your eyes to prove it), and by now you may be wondering: When am I going to feel like one? When will I be able to accomplish latch-on without 20 minutes of fumbling? Or finally get the hang of burping? Or stop worrying about breaking the baby every time I pick her up? When will I be able to coo without feeling like an awkward idiot? When will I figure out which cries mean what—and how to respond to any of them? How do I put on a diaper so it doesn’t leak? Get the onesie over baby’s head without a struggle? Shampoo that little patch of hair without dripping soap into those tender eyes? When will the job that nature just signed me up for start coming naturally?

The truth is, giving birth makes you a mother, but it doesn’t necessarily make you feel like a mother. Only time spent on this sometimes bewildering, sometimes overwhelming, always amazing job will do that. The day-to-day (and night-to-night) of parenting is never easy, but it absolutely, positively gets easier.

So cut yourself some slack, pat yourself on the back, and give yourself time, Mom. Which, by the way, you are.

B
Y NOW YOU’RE PROBABLY EITHER
settling into your new life as a fledgling mom or figuring out how to juggle new baby care with the demands of older children. Almost certainly, much of your daily—and nightly—attention is focused on that recently arrived little bundle. Babies, after all, don’t take care of themselves. But that doesn’t mean you should neglect your own care (yes, moms have needs, too!).

Though most of your questions and concerns are likely to be baby-related right now, you’re sure to have some that are a little more mommy-centric, too, from the state of your emotions (“Will I ever stop crying during insurance commercials?”), to the state of your sexual union (“Will I ever want to do ‘it’ again?”), to the state of your waist (“Will I ever be able to wear jeans that zip?”). The answers: yes, yes, and yes—just give it time.

The first six weeks postpartum are considered a “recovery” period. Even if you sailed through your pregnancy and had the easiest labor and delivery on record (and especially if you didn’t), your body has still been stretched and stressed to the max—and it needs a chance to regroup. Every new mom, like every expectant one, is different—so all will make that recovery at a different rate, with a different collection of postpartum symptoms. Depending on the type of delivery you had, how much help you have at home, and a variety of other individual factors, you may experience all, or only some, of the following:

Physically

Continued period-like vaginal discharge (lochia), first dark red, then pink, turning brownish, then yellowish white

Fatigue

Some continuing pain, discomfort, and numbness in the perineum, if you had a vaginal delivery (especially if you had stitches) or labored before having a cesarean delivery

Diminishing incision pain, continuing numbness, if you had a C-section (especially if it was your first)

Gradual easing of constipation and, hopefully, hemorrhoids

Gradual slimming of your belly as your uterus recedes into the pelvis

Gradual weight loss