What to expect when you're expecting (185 page)

Bottom line on your bottom line: Even if sex does hurt a bit the first time (and second and third time), don’t write it off—or give it up. It won’t be long (though it may seem that way) before the pleasure will be all yours—and your partner’s—again.

“I thought that breastfeeding was a form of birth control. Now I hear you can get pregnant while nursing, even before you get your period.”

Unless you don’t mind becoming pregnant again soon, don’t even think about relying on breastfeeding for contraception.

It’s true that, on average, women who nurse resume normal cycles later than those who don’t. In mothers who aren’t nursing, periods usually kick in again somewhere between 6 and 12 weeks after delivery, whereas in nursing mothers the average is somewhere between 4 and 6 months. As usual, however, averages are deceptive. Nursing moms have been known to begin their periods as early as 6 weeks and later than 18 months postpartum. The problem is, there’s no sure way to predict when you will get your first postbaby period, though several variables can influence the timing: for example, frequency of nursing (more than three times a day seems to suppress ovulation better), duration of nursing (the longer you nurse, the greater the delay in ovulation), and whether or not feedings are being supplemented (your baby’s taking formula, solids, even water can interfere with the ovulation-suppressing effect of nursing).

Why worry about birth control before that first postpartum visit from Aunt Flo? Because the point at which you ovulate for the first time after delivery is as unpredictable as when you menstruate. Some women have a sterile first period; that is, they don’t ovulate during that initial cycle. Others ovulate before the period, and therefore they can go from pregnancy to pregnancy without ever having had a period. Since you don’t know which will come first, the period or the egg, contraceptive caution is highly advisable.

Of course, accidents can happen. So even if you’ve been using contraception—and especially if you haven’t been—pregnancy is still a possibility. If you do have any suspicion that you might be expecting again, the best thing to do is take a pregnancy test. See
page 42
for information on back-to-back pregnancies.

Getting Back into Shape

It’s one thing to look six months pregnant when, in fact, you are six months pregnant, and quite another to look it when you’ve already delivered. Yet most women can expect to come out of the birthing room not much trimmer than when they went in—with a little bundle in their arms and a sizable one still around their middles. As for the zip-up jeans optimistically packed for the going-home trip, they’re likely to stay packed, with baggy sweats the comfortable substitute.

How soon after you become a new mother will you stop looking like a mother-to-be? The answer will depend primarily on four factors: how much weight you gained during pregnancy, how well you control your intake of calories, how much exercise you get, and your metabolism and your genes.

“Who needs exercise?” you may wonder. “I haven’t stopped moving since I got home from the hospital. Doesn’t that count?” Unfortunately, not much. Exhausting as it is caring for a newborn, that kind of activity won’t tighten up the perineal and abdominal muscles that have been stretched and left saggy by pregnancy and childbirth—only an exercise program will. And the right kind of postpartum exercise will do more than tone you up. It will help keep baby-toting backaches at bay, promote healing and hasten recovery from labor and delivery, help pregnancy-loosened joints tighten up, improve circulation, and reduce the risk of a variety of other unpleasant postpartum symptoms, from varicose veins to leg cramps. Kegel exercises, which target the perineal muscles, will help you avoid stress and urinary incontinence and postpartum sexual problems. Finally, exercise can make you happier. As exercise-released endorphins circulate in your system, boosting your mood and your ability to cope, you’ll find yourself much better equipped to handle the stresses of new parenthood. In fact, research shows that moms who resume exercising within six weeks of delivery feel better about themselves—and just plain feel better.

Basic Position

Lie on your back, knees bent, soles flat on the floor. Support your head and shoulders with cushions, and rest your arms flat at your sides.

Pelvic Tilt

Lie on your back in the basic position. Take a breath. Then exhale as you press the small of your back against the floor for 10 seconds. Then relax. Repeat three or four times to start, increasing gradually to 12, and then 24.

Leg Slides

Assume the Basic Position. Slowly extend both legs until they are flat on the floor. Slide your right foot, flat on the floor, back toward your buttocks, inhaling as you go. Keep the small of your back against the floor. Exhale as you slide your leg back down. Repeat with your left foot. Start with three or four slides per side, and increase gradually until you can do a dozen or more comfortably. After three weeks, move to a modified leg lift (lifting one leg at a time slightly off the floor and lowering it again very slowly), if it is comfortable.

Head/Shoulder Lift

Assume the Basic Position. Take a deep relaxing breath; then raise your head very slightly and stretch your arms out, exhaling as you do. Lower your head slowly and inhale. Raise your head a little more each day, gradually working up to lifting your shoulders slightly off the floor. Don’t try full sit-ups during the first six weeks—and then only if you have always had very good abdominal muscle tone. Check first, too, for an abdominal separation (see
page 469
).

And you can probably start sooner than you think. If your delivery was vaginal and uncomplicated and you don’t have any other major health issue that might slow you down, you can begin your postpartum exercise program as early as 24 hours after delivery. (If you’ve had a surgical or a traumatic delivery, check with your doctor first.)

Don’t even think about starting off with a bang, however; your recovering body needs to take it slowly and carefully. The following three-phase program will help guide you. You can supplement it by using a postpartum exercise book or DVD, joining a class for new mothers (the camaraderie helps with motivation, and many include infants in the routines), and making daily strolls with baby a part of your routine.

Workout Rules for the First Six Weeks

Wear a supportive bra and comfortable clothing.

Try to divide your exercise schedule into two or three brief sessions rather than doing one long session a day (this tones muscles better and will be easier on your recovering body—plus you’re more likely to be able to fit it in).

Start each session with the exercise you find least strenuous.