What to expect when you're expecting (31 page)

An Early Baby Present

There are no sure things when it comes to making a baby, but there are plenty of ways of improving your chances of having the best outcome possible: an uncomplicated pregnancy and delivery, and a perfectly healthy, full-term bundle of joy. And giving up smoking and drinking definitely tops the list.

Of course, there’s the possibility that you can have that happy outcome even if you smoke or drink your way through pregnancy (or even smoke or drink lightly but regularly)—after all, everybody’s heard of women who have done both and delivered healthy babies, right on time. But there’s also the chance—and depending on how much smoking or drinking you do, a very significant risk—that you and your baby wouldn’t be that lucky. Consider that different mothers and different babies are affected differently by pregnancy smoking and drinking (and there’s no way to predict how you and your baby will be affected). Consider, too, that some of the deficits—physical and intellectual—linked to maternal smoking and drinking don’t always show up at birth but often years later (a seemingly healthy infant can grow into a child who is often sick, who is hyperactive, or who has trouble learning).

Giving up pregnancy-unfriendly habits like drinking and smoking isn’t always easy—and sometimes it’s a real struggle. But giving your baby the very best chances of being born healthy is definitely the very best gift you can give.

Breaking the Smoking Habit

Congratulations—you’ve decided to give your baby a smoke-free environment, in utero and out. Making that commitment is the first and most important step. Realistically, however—as you probably already know if you’ve tried quitting before—it’s not the most difficult step. Actually quitting is. But with a lot of determination and a little help from the following tips, you
can
do it.

Identify your motivations for quitting.
When you’re pregnant, that’s easy. You’ve never had a more motivating reason.

Choose your method of withdrawal
. Do you want to go cold turkey or taper off? Either way, pick a “last day” that isn’t far off. Plan a full schedule of fun and distracting activities for that date—those you don’t associate with smoking (in places, preferably, that don’t allow smoking).

Identify your motivations for smoking
. For example, do you smoke for pleasure, stimulation, or relaxation? To reduce tension or frustration? To have something in your hand or mouth? To satisfy a craving? Perhaps you smoke out of habit, lighting up without thinking about it. Once you understand your motivations, it’ll help you find substitutes:

If you smoke mainly to keep your hands busy, try playing with a pencil, beads, or a straw. Knit, play Sudoku on the computer, squeeze a stress ball, catch up on your e-mail, play video games, paint, doodle, do a crossword puzzle—anything that might make you forget to reach for a cigarette.

If you smoke for oral gratification, try a substitute: a toothpick, gum, raw vegetables, popcorn, a lollipop or hard candy.

If you smoke for stimulation, try to get your lift from a brisk walk, a workout session at the gym, an absorbing book, a long chat with a friend.

If you smoke to reduce tension and relax, try exercise instead. Or relaxation techniques. Or listening to soothing music. Or a long walk. Or a massage. Or making love.

If you smoke for pleasure, seek pleasure in other pursuits, preferably in no-smoke situations. Go to a movie, visit baby boutiques, tour a favorite museum, attend a concert or a play, have dinner with a friend who’s a nonsmoker. Or try something more active, like a prenatal fitness class.

If you smoke out of habit, avoid the settings in which you habitually smoke and friends who smoke; frequent places with no-smoking rules instead.

If you associate smoking with a particular beverage, food, or meal, avoid the food or beverage, or eat the meal in a different location. (Say you smoke with breakfast but you never smoke in bed. Have breakfast in bed for a few days. You always smoke with your coffee? Have that latte in the coffeehouse, where smoking’s not on the menu.)

When you feel the urge to smoke, take several deep breaths with a pause between each. Hold the last breath while you strike a match. Exhale slowly, blowing out the match. Pretend it was a cigarette and crush it out.

If you do slip up and have a cigarette, put it behind you.
Don’t give a second thought to the cigarette you smoked—think instead about all the ones you passed up. Get right back on your program, knowing that every cigarette you don’t smoke is going to help your baby.

Try to look at smoking as nonnegotiable
. When you were a smoker, you couldn’t smoke in theaters, subways, at the mall, in many restaurants, and probably at your workplace. That was that. Now try telling yourself that you can’t smoke, period—and that’s that.

Let your baby inspire you
. Post copies of your baby’s ultrasound picture everywhere you might be tempted to smoke (make it your screensaver, frame it on the kitchen table, tape it on your dashboard, carry one in your bag). No ultrasound yet? Post pictures of adorable babies that you’ve cut out from magazines.

Get some support.
There’s plenty of help for smokers who want to quit. Look into hypnosis, acupuncture, and relaxation techniques, which have made quitters out of many smokers. If you’re comfortable with a group approach to quitting, consider programs run by Nicotine Anonymous (misery often loves company—and support), the American Lung Association, the American Cancer Society, and SmokEnders, which have helped millions of smokers break the habit. Or seek support online from other pregnant women who are trying to call it quits.

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
Nicotine is a powerful drug, and giving it up isn’t easy, but it can be done. Many smokers don’t succeed the first time they try quitting, yet they do if they keep trying. So don’t beat yourself up when you slip up—pat yourself on the back for your efforts, and then up your efforts. You can do it!

Note: Check with your doctor to find out if using nicotine patches, lozenges, or gums while you’re expecting is recommended in your case.