When Autumn Leaves: A Novel (19 page)

In a chair across the room sat Piper Shigeru. Ana wouldn’t exactly have said that she and Piper were friends; acquaintances would have been a better description. Ana had been Piper’s daughter’s teacher a couple of years ago, and of course Ana had read all of Piper’s books; every mother, father, and teacher in Avening (and most other places) had. But looking at Piper now, so still and small in the great overstuffed chair, Ana wished she had tried harder to befriend her. Autumn had told Ana that Piper was sick, but until this moment Ana had no idea how ill she truly was.

Ana looked down at her pale pink fingers and breathed a deep sigh. If she was any kind of woman at all, she would go over there and talk to Piper, but she couldn’t force her body to move. Truth be told, Ana didn’t even want to look at Piper, let alone talk to her. Her suffering was too close, too painful, too real.

Instead, she closed her eyes and thought, not without a pang of guilt, about the better parts of the day. The two lectures, one on graceful passages through the maiden-mother-crone stages of life and the other on creating sacred spaces in your home, were both informative and entertaining. The massage and the mani/pedi had gone a long way toward soothing her frayed nerves. She could now even sit somewhat harmoniously in her surroundings, as ready as she could be for what was about to happen.

When she opened her eyes, she looked to where Piper Shigeru had been sitting, only to discover the seat empty. Instead, Autumn was there talking to someone familiar. The woman was older but small, petite and elfin, her hair was short and silver. She was the type of woman who could have gotten away with being mistaken for someone much younger if she’d done away with the gray. It was Eve Pruitt, another good friend of Autumn’s, whom Ana couldn’t help but like. Eve was Avening’s trained pharmacist; the only time she’d left the island was to go to a top pharmacy program on the mainland, many, many years ago, back when it was still unusual for women to earn that kind of degree. She owned and operated Eve’s Apothecary on Brigid’s Way. She also had a reputation for concocting non-chemical herbal supplements, of course. No one would expect less of a close friend of Autumn’s.

Ana remembered the first time she came to Eve on her own. She’d been fifteen and desperate, in love with Monty Sherman. She stood there in front of the wood counter and stammered and begged for a love potion. Eve returned with a small paper bag.

“Is this it?” Ana asked.

“No, honey,” Eve said kindly. “You wouldn’t want to be with anyone you had to trick into feeling strongly about you. It would be a lie.” Eve pushed the bag into Ana’s shaking hand. “You drink this instead. Directions are on the bag.”

“So . . . What is it then?”

Eve answered a little sadly, like she knew exactly how Ana felt. “It’s tea to ease a broken heart.” Which is, after all, sometimes all you need when you’re a fifteen-year-old girl. That wasn’t the last time Ana went back for that particular set of herbs, and others, over the years. Now, she walked over to the two women who were deep in conversation, their heads bowed.

Ana wasn’t uncomfortable interrupting. “Hi, Eve. How are you?”

“Oh, Ana,” Eve answered, letting go of an audible breath. “Hello, dear. I’m fine. Really well. I was just talking to Autumn about our Piper.”

“I didn’t know she was so sick,” Ana said, lowering her voice. “I heard, but it’s different when you see it.”

Eve’s eyes were wet with her trademark compassion. “I’ve tried every trick up my sleeve, and so has Autumn, with no luck.”

“Did you both think . . . that you could cure her, or something?” Ana didn’t really know what they thought they could do, or how far their expertise went.

“No,” Autumn said, shaking her head ever so slightly. “I think we’re past that now. We were both just trying to ease the pain somewhat, and the fear.” Eve looked down, and Autumn glanced at her. “I was just trying to explain to Eve that Piper is on her own path now. Her body is determined, and maybe she is too.

“Yes, and I was just saying that I find your fatalism truly annoying, Autumn,” Eve said with a sharp chuckle. “But how are you, Ana? Everything okay?” Eve raised her eyebrows ever so slightly. Ana wondered what she had written on her face.

“I’m fine,” Ana answered, trying to keep her voice level. “I’m good.”

Eve nodded and smiled broadly. “Well, you come by and see me if you need anything, even if it’s just a chat, okay?” She was so earnest that it made Ana tired. She couldn’t do much but give Eve a quick hug and return to the couch, where she had a full view of Autumn’s antique grandfather clock. Ana watched the hands crawl around on its ornate face, and waited.

Autumn stayed next to Ana as she said good-bye to her guests. As twilight descended, she took Ana’s hand and led her out the back, through the wild patches of a well-tended English garden to the small guesthouse that sat at the farthest reaches of her yard. Ana was aware of the sounds of birds and insects, of her feet moving lightly along the gravel path that led to the door. But she felt, at the same time, oddly disconnected, as if her body instinctively knew it had to let go.

Autumn had lit dozens of candles in the cottage, each one giving off a smell of warm spices. Fresh flowers sat on the bedside tables, the desk and the dresser, and the windows were open, letting a slight breeze ruffle the thin cotton curtains.

“Are you ready, Ana?”

“Yes, I am.” Ana sat on the bed, but took her friend’s hand. “I won’t get a chance to thank you for this, for everything you’ve done for Finn and me. I will be blissfully ignorant, but you will have to carry this around for God knows how long. Words are just not enough, but . . . thank you, Autumn. You are changing my life.”

Autumn gave her a beatific smile. “I believe I am helping you. And, well, that’s part of my job, part of my journey. I know you’re scared, but I have a feeling this will all work out for the best. Now we need to make some preparations. Take your robe off, please.”

Ana slid off the Japanese kimono she had donned before leaving the store, completely comfortable with her own nakedness in front of Autumn. Beside the bed was a small brush and glass jar of paint, which Autumn picked up. “I’m going to have to paint some symbols on you, but don’t worry, they will wash off.” Ana nodded and closed her eyes.

Delicately, Autumn began to move the brush across Ana’s skin. The pleasant sensation centered Ana and seemed to bring her closer to the power of the mystical Beltane night. When Autumn was done, Ana looked down and saw small characters painted in various locations on her body: her forearms, thighs, stomach and forehead all decorated with symbols she did not recognize.

“I’ll have to do this for Finn as well. Actually, he should be here any moment, so I’m going to go inside the store and wait for him. Are you all right? Anything you need?”

“No, I’m fine. You go and wait for Finn.”

Autumn smiled and slipped out the door, leaving Ana, who had put her robe carefully back on, alone on the big white bed. She did not know how long she sat there; already, her mind seemed to be sliding away from the boundaries of time. She heard them walk quietly in before she actually saw them. At the sight of Finn, covered in the same symbols and in a thin white robe, Ana had to brace herself, her fingers clenching the sheets beneath her.

“Go ahead and sit down beside Ana, Finn.” When Finn did as he was instructed, Autumn went over to a tray that she had brought with her. She poured two steaming cups from a small brown teapot. “I want you to drink this, please.”

“What is it?” asked Ana.

“Something that will help . . . with the process.”

“Is it some kind of drug or something?” asked Finn, a look of suspicion on his face.

Autumn laughed kindly. “It’s something, but don’t worry, you won’t hallucinate or anything like that.”

“Wait a minute . . . How are we supposed to know that what is about to happen is really magic and not some kind of drug-induced amnesia?”

Autumn shrugged. “Faith, I suppose. Regardless, you must drink this in order for tonight to work.”

Ana needed no more than that and drank her cup down in a matter of seconds. Finn looked at Ana with great concentration, then seemed to make a decision and drank.

“Good.” Autumn took the cups from their hands and placed them back on the tray. “Well, that’s it. I’ll be back in a few hours. I know this is . . . difficult for both of you, but please, try to enjoy it. Open up and let the experience become part of you.” Autumn smiled briefly, and left the room.

Upstairs in her study, Autumn stood calmly and went through her Initiate Lessons. They were as natural to her now as breathing. They centered and steadied her so she could access the kind of magic she needed to. The elements sat close, and threw off their own kind of steady hum, an energy like a song. She opened her arms, and spoke the words to the spell in an ancient, now forgotten language known only to the Jaen. She could sense Finn and Ana both, but mostly Ana, who had no idea how much her own magic and not Autumn’s was making this all happen.

Autumn wondered if Ana knew the amount of power gathered in her genes. It would be such a waste . . . Autumn shook her head and concentrated. Now was not the time to think about it. She centered her thoughts instead on Finn and Ana’s love and desire for each other, and their auras burning into a deep berry red. She pictured another circle around the two, a rainbow of brilliant lights enveloping them. Then she steadied herself and opened a doorway across time.

Finn was cautious, at first, to touch her. His fingers reached out gently to slip the robe from her shoulders. When she was naked, he moved in to her neck, to the place where her hair and skin gathered, to get a true sense of what she smelled like, copying those same movements that had so undone him days before. Her scent invaded his nose and shot through his bloodstream.

Ana closed her eyes and let out a sigh. She wanted to float away, she wanted both of them to leave behind their bodies and connect someplace entirely other. But then she knew that it was her senses that truly needed this first experience and she wanted to drench them, every single one of them, in Finn. Ana opened her eyes and roughly pulled his robe away. The sight of his naked body made her breath catch in her throat.

With both hands she pulled his face to hers, giving him a long, deep kiss. She then climbed on top of him, wrapping her legs around the small of his back. It was the urgency of the first time, the need to feel him inside her, that made Ana realize they had already had six weeks of foreplay. When he entered her, she cried out and then lost her place.

It didn’t take Finn long. He had known it wouldn’t, not after waiting and fantasizing about this very moment for so long. The climax wasn’t really a climax, though, because he was far from done. At that moment he knew she was indeed his soul mate. There was none of that usual awkwardness or fumbling; their bodies knew exactly how to move against each other. And he felt somehow complete, finished and understood, in a way he had never felt before.

He then lay Ana down on the bed and began to touch her. He touched every single inch of her, turning her gently this way and that until his fingers knew her. When he was done, he did the same with his tongue, so that sense, too, could be satiated.

Tears sprung from Ana’s eyes. She felt like she had never let anyone so close, that Finn had truly seen her, every single thing, both beautiful and horrible, about her. She also knew he accepted these things, had taken them into himself so that he could, in some way, become her. It was more than sex, it was something alive. It was living.

In the end, when they knew their time was growing short, the animal inside each of them crept away, full and drowsy, on instinct alone. Finn lay on top of Ana, inside her, aroused, but somehow not sexually. They had not spoken a word yet, but now it was time. He kissed her face.

“I love you, Ana, always, always . . . ”

“And I love you.” She pulled him as close as he could get. She whispered in his ear. “We are blessed.” And then came the quiet knock on the door.