They were to stay overnight. Caitlin helped Elizabeth and William into their jodhpurs and boots and left them with the others to go and find her sleeping quarters. She headed up another flight of stairs to the attic bedrooms. When she entered her allocated room she found a girl sitting on one of the twin beds, unpacking her night things. She looked up and smiled as Caitlin came in.
“Sally,” she said, nodding.
“Caitlin. Nice to meet you, Sally.”
“Exciting isn’t it?” Sally said. “Did you see that helicopter land? Someone said it was a movie star. That will cause a stir, won’t it?”
“A media bombardment, I imagine.”
Sally left the room. Caitlin opened the box and shook out her dress. She had a quick shower in the tiny en-suite bathroom and dressed, arranging the hat smartly over one eye.
She went to claim the children. “We’d better go and find your father,” she said. “The gymkhana will be starting soon. We can watch Daddy play polo this afternoon.”
“Toby doesn’t like traveling,” William said.
“He’ll be happy when he sees you,” Caitlin said, taking his hand.
They left the cool of the house and went searching for Jake, finding him standing among a group of people.
“There he is,” Elizabeth cried and threw herself at his legs. He was laughing at something someone said and put his hand affectionately on her head. He turned toward them, and then he seemed to falter. The woman laughing with him looked surprised.
As Caitlin grew closer she saw the stony expression in his eyes.
He grabbed Elizabeth’s hand and strode towards Caitlin. “That dress!” he said. “Go and take it off.”
She gaped at him. “What do you mean, take it off?”
“Why are you wearing that dress?” he said through clenched teeth.
“I don’t understand,” she said, shaking her head.
She caught her breath as Jake’s eyes filled with pain. “It’s … it was Caroline’s. The dress and the hat!”
Despite the heat a chill settled over Caitlin. “They can’t be! Angela lent these to me. They were to be her wedding clothes, but she didn’t get married.”
“Angela?” He frowned. There was a painful pause. “Caroline must have given them to her,” he said slowly. “I didn’t know.” He turned to check on the children. It seemed as if he couldn’t bear to look at her. “I’ll get you a drink before I take the kids down to the mounting yard.”
“Please don’t worry,” she said ruefully. “I’ll get my own.” Her big entrance had produced a very different reaction to the one she’d hoped for.
“Right,” Jake said, too heartily. “Come on then, kids.”
Feeling painfully excluded, she leaned against the fence watching the children put their ponies through their paces.
“Hi. It’s Caitlin isn’t it?”
She swung around. A man stood behind her, holding two glasses of champagne. Her breath deserted her. It was Conor O’Neil, one of Max’s friends from Dublin.
He held up a glass. “Surely no one says no to bubbly.”
She numbly took the glass from him. “Thanks, Conor. What are you doing here, of all places?” She tried to make her tone light, but her heart was hammering so loud she was sure he could hear it.
“I was just about to ask you the same question,” he said. “I come every year for the polo, then on to the Melbourne Cup. We have a horse in the Cup this year.”
“That’s great,” Caitlin murmured, looking around nervously. Surely Max couldn’t be here?
“But what about you?” he asked. “A flower of Irish womanhood here in the sun-burnt heart of Australia.”
She forced a smile. “Just traveling around, discovering a new country.”
“Great place. Wouldn’t want to spend too much time out here, though. Too bloody hot.”
“At least it doesn’t rain all the time,” Caitlin said, her passionate defense of her new home taking her by surprise.
“Have you heard from Max?” he asked her curiously.
She fought to keep her tone light. “We don’t keep in contact.”
He frowned. “None of us have seen him, not since he disappeared about the same time you did, as a matter of fact. It’s a mystery I was hoping you could solve. We all thought the pair of you had eloped but as time went by….”
She shrugged. “I can’t help you, I’m afraid.”
“We were all so pleased when he formed an attachment with you, you know, after…” He let his words drift.
“After what?”
“He was in love with someone before he met you, but they broke up.”
“I didn’t know.”
Conor shrugged. “Max had a pretty vile childhood. His parents were never what you call hands on. He found sustaining relationships … difficult.”
“Who broke it off?” she asked, suddenly curious.
“I’m not sure, but not long after that, she died.”
Caitlin gasped. “How?”
“She fell from the balcony of her sixth-floor apartment. There was some talk of suicide.”
“He never told me any of it,” Caitlin said, her mind whirling. “What was her name?”
“Mary Delaney.”
Someone in the crowd called Conor’s name and he waved at them. “I’ll try contacting his family again,” he said. “Pity we don’t have more time to catch up, Caitlin. Are you coming to Melbourne?”
Over in the paddock, Jake helped Elizabeth and William down from their ponies and beckoned to her with an impatient gesture.
Tipping the Champagne out on the grass she shook her head. “Good luck with the race. I have to go. It was nice to see you again.”
She hurried over to the paddock gate as Jake and the kids came towards her.
“Did you see me, Caitlin?” Elizabeth asked, running up to her.
“I most certainly did. I thought you were
a-m-a-zing
. Both of you.”
As Jake walked up to her she saw he was still as upset as she was.
“I see you’ve made a friend here already, Caitlin,” he said, crisply. “Would you take the children up to the house? They are to have lunch with the rest of the kids.”
“As you wish, sir,” Caitlin replied, barely restraining herself from giving him a servile bob before she led the children away. At the steps she glanced back. Jake had been joined by some friends, but he watched them over his shoulder.
While the children had their lunch, Caitlin went to her room and dragged the dress over her head. Throwing the hat on the bed, she pulled on her jeans and a spare black singlet top she’d thrown in at the last minute. She put a white shirt on over the top and tied it at the waist.
After lunch, she and the children sat on the grass to watch the polo match, but her thoughts returned to Mary’s fate, sending a shiver up her spine. William and Elizabeth jumped and yelled, cheering their father on as he drove the ball with his mallet. Jake did look good on a horse, Caitlin had to admit. But she couldn’t relax. She was worried that Conor might approach her again with more questions. In her jeans she felt self-conscious, under-dressed, angry and hurt.
After the final chukker, and the praise from the onlookers for his winning team, Jake dismounted. He took off his helmet as the children ran up to him.
Caitlin stood back, but he beckoned her over.
“Did you enjoy the polo?”
“Yes. Very well done. Congratulations,” she said stiffly.
“You’ve changed your outfit.”
“Obviously.”
His steady gaze held hers. “I am sorry.”
Before she could reply, his mates called to him. She led the children away.
She had dinner with the rest of the staff as the party raged downstairs. As she rose from the table, a young member of the staff came up to her. “Like to come down to the party for a drink?” he asked. “There’s dancing.”
She smiled. “Thanks, but I don’t think I will.”
“This isn’t Upstairs, Downstairs, you know,” he said, cocking his head. “We’re allowed to mix with the toffs.”
She laughed. “I’m a bit tired.” He shook his head and she had to agree with him. She was a party pooper. But she wasn’t dressed for it and Conor was down there somewhere. She wanted him to forget she existed. Shrugging, she went to check on the children. They were both asleep, amongst a room of exhausted children. It had been a very long day for them.
About eleven o’clock, feeling bored, she prepared for bed. Her roommate, Sally, had disappeared with a waiter she’d met, and by their behavior before they left, Caitlin was sure she’d have to the room to herself for the night.
She had just changed into her nightgown and was sitting on the bed brushing her hair when a knock came at the door.
“Who is it?”
“Jake.”
Pulling on her dressing gown, she opened the door. Jake stood clutching the door jamb, swaying slightly. She’d never seen him drink more than two drinks in all the time she’d been at Tall Trees. Her anger dissipated, and she felt a pang of guilt, was it because Caroline’s dress had dredged up sad memories?
“I missed saying goodnight to the children,” he said with an attempt at dignity that made him look even more like William.
“They’ve been asleep for hours. Luckily,” she added, still smarting a little from his unfair treatment.
He walked into the room and sat heavily on her bed. “Hell, Caitlin. I’m sorry I was so rude to you, but you were a terrific shock.”
“I know, Jake. I’m sorry too. If I’d known, of course I wouldn’t have worn the dress.”
“Angela should never have given it to you. What was she thinking?”
“She was trying to help me. I have very few clothes here. I guess it didn’t occur to her that you’d remember the dress.”
“She’s a good sort, Angela. I guess I wouldn’t have remembered it if I hadn’t bought it.”
She sat opposite him on the other bed. “You bought the outfit?”
“For our sixth anniversary.”
She swallowed. “I don’t know what to say, Jake.”
He leaned over and patted her on the shoulder. “Not your fault, Caitlin. No one’s fault really. But if you knew what it did to me, seeing you. You looked so lovely….”
He lay back, stretching his legs out over the coverlet.
She took a deep breath, wondering if it was just that she reminded him of Caroline. “Thanks for the compliment. I forgive you, and you forgive me. Now I think you should go.”
“Not yet.” Jake patted the bed beside him. “I want to be sure we’ve straightened this out. Come and talk to me.”
She moved to sit beside him. “You’ve made such a difference, Caitlin,” he said. “Now that I don’t feel so worried about the kids, I can get back to my plans for improving Tall Trees. I’ve been running away from a lot of things.”
“Me too, Jake.”
He turned his head and his eyes met hers. “Running away doesn’t solve anything, does it?”
She thought of Conor’s words and tensed. “Not always.”
Jake’s eyes closed and his head fell back. He began to snore softly.
“Jake!” Caitlin said, giving him a poke on the arm. “Jake! You can’t stay here. Wake up!” She put a tentative hand on his chest feeling the smooth curve of muscle beneath his shirt.
She suddenly felt exhausted and said, “Okay, you can sleep in my bed.” She leaned over him. Holding her breath, she gazed into his handsome face, his straight nose and dimpled chin. She traced the scar with her finger—so much sadness behind it. She longed to have him confide in her, to share his painful memories and his dreams. He didn’t stir, so she brushed his full, firm lips with her own. “Goodnight.”
“Mmm,” he said in his sleep. Just as she went to move away, his arm came up around her waist, pulling her firmly against him. She tried to lift his hand, to slip out of his embrace without waking him, but he was leaning into her, his body too heavy to move.
She felt his hand move to cup her breast, his thumb teasing her nipple. She felt a thrill pass through her. “Jake,” she whispered. “Let me up.”
His leg anchored hers against the bed, and for a moment she thought he would proceed to make love to her without waking, just like that scene in Barbra Streisand’s film,
The Way We Were
and she held her breath. But his hand moved away as he slipped into a deeper sleep.
Was she a little sorry? She wanted to make love to him, but not like this. Managing to pull the bed cover partly over them, she rested her head against his shoulder, and lay there running his words through her mind. She’d wait until he moved, she told herself. Feeling warm and safe, she closed her eyes.
* * * *
The sound of the door opening woke Caitlin as Sally came in. “Oh,” she said, looking at Caitlin and Jake. She grinned. “I doubt anyone slept in their own bed last night.”
Jake had turned on his side during the night, but she hadn’t woken, sleeping deeper than she had for ages. She climbed out of bed. “Would you mind giving me a few minutes, Sally?” she whispered. “Please.”
Sally nodded and slipped out, closing the door.
Caitlin mussed up the other bed then shook Jake’s arm. He turned over, opening his eyes. “Where the devil…?” He sat up and looked around, his eyes widening as realization dawned. “Caitlin, I’m so sorry. Did I put you out of your bed?”
“It doesn’t matter, Jake. Sally spent the night elsewhere. You were a little under the weather.”
He went to get up, then groaned and leaned back on the pillow. Rising more slowly he sat on the edge of the bed and held his head in his hands. “I haven’t felt like this since I was twenty.” He looked up and his eyes met hers. “I do apologize for disturbing your rest.”
She laughed, wondering if she’d ever be able to tell him that they’d spent the night in each other’s arms. “You were a perfect gentleman. You just came to see if the children were okay.”
“Did I? I’m acutely embarrassed.” He looked over at the other bed. “I hope you slept okay.” He looked at her again and tilted his head, grinning. “Well, you look as fresh as a daisy.”
“Don’t worry about me. I slept like a log.”
He stood and stretched. “Breakfast is the best cure for a hangover as I remember. Let’s get the kids. We’ll make an early start.”
As they left the house, she searched uneasily for Conor, but couldn’t see him among the crowd of people breakfasting on the verandah or crowded around the movie star by the swimming pool.
Chapter Eleven
Back on the road heading inland, Jake gave into Elizabeth’s pleas and put on a CD of kiddie pop. Caitlin leaned back and began to think about what Conor had told her. Where
was
Max? As if on cue, the trembling returned as she unwillingly relived those awful last weeks in Ireland.