When Harry Met Sally (6 page)

Read When Harry Met Sally Online

Authors: Nora Ephron

Tags: #Romance

SALLY
    Yeah, well, you know. Yeah.
(beat)
So, what about you?

HARRY
    I'm fine.

SALLY
    How's married life?

HARRY
    Not so good. I'm getting a divorce.

SALLY
    Oh, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

HARRY
    Yeah. Well. What are you going to do? What happened with you guys?

CUT TO
:

INT. RESTAURANT—DAY
Sally and Harry having a glass of wine
.

SALLY
    When Joe and I started seeing each other, we wanted exactly the same thing. We wanted to live together, but we didn't want to get married because every time anyone we knew got married, it ruined their relationship. They practically never had sex again. It's true, it's one of the secrets no one ever tells you. I would sit around with my girlfriends who have kids—well, actually, my one girlfriend who has kids, Alice—and she would complain about how she and Gary never did it anymore. She didn't even complain about it, now that I think about it. She just said it matter-of-factly. She said they were up all night, they were both exhausted all the time, the kids just took every sexual impulse they had out of them. And Joe and I used to talk about it, and we'd say we were so lucky to have this wonderful relationship, we can have sex on the kitchen floor and not worry about the kids walking in, we can fly off to Rome on a moment's notice. And then one day I was taking Alice's little girl for the afternoon because I'd
promised to take her to the circus, and we were in a cab playing “I Spy”—I spy a mailbox, I spy a lamppost—and she looked out the window and she saw this man and this woman with these two little kids, the man had one of the kids on his shoulders, and Alice's little girl said, “I spy a family,” and I started to cry. You know, I just started crying. And I went home, and I said, “The thing is, Joe, we never do fly off to Rome on a moment's notice.”

HARRY
    And the kitchen floor?

SALLY
    Not once. It's this very cold, hard Mexican ceramic tile. Anyway, we talked about it for a long time, and I said, this is what I want, and he said, well, I don't, and I said, well, I guess it's over, and he left. And the thing is, I feel really fine. I am over him. I mean, I really am over him. That was it for him, that was the most he could give, and every time I think about it, I'm more and more convinced I did the right thing.

HARRY
    Boy, you sound really healthy.

SALLY
    
(not totally)
    Yeah.

CUT TO
:

EXT
. 77
TH STREET WALK—DUSK
Harry and Sally walking together. The sun is setting
.

SALLY
    At least I got the apartment.

HARRY
    That's what everybody says to me, too. But really, what's so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is, you read the obituary column. Yeah. You find out who died, go to the building, and then you tip the doorman. What they can do to make it easier is to combine the obituaries with the real estate
section, see, and then you have, “Mr. Klein died today, leaving a wife, two children, and a spacious three-bedroom apartment with a wood-burning fireplace.”

Sally laughing. A nice moment
.

HARRY
    You know, the first time we met, I really didn't like you that much—

SALLY
    
I
didn't like
you
.

HARRY
    Yeah, you did. You were just so uptight then. You're much softer now.

SALLY
    You know, I hate that kind of remark. It sounds like a compliment, but really it's an insult.

HARRY
    Okay, you're still as hard as nails.

SALLY
    I just didn't want to sleep with you, so you had to write it off as a character flaw instead of dealing with the possibility that it might have something to do with you.

HARRY
    What's the statute of limitations on apologies?

SALLY
    Ten years.

HARRY
    Ooh. I can just get in under the wire.

Sally smiles, then after a beat, she makes the smallest of moves
.

SALLY
    Would you like to have dinner with me sometime?

HARRY
    
(not knowing quite how to take this)
    Are we becoming friends now?

SALLY
    Well,
(this is not what she meant)
yeah.

HARRY
    Great. A woman friend. You know, you may be the first attractive woman I've not wanted to sleep with in my entire life.

SALLY
    
(slightly rejected)
    That's wonderful, Harry.

As they continue to walk along, we—

FADE OUT
.

FADE IN:

DOCUMENTARY FOOTAGE
An OLDER COUPLE on a love seat
.

FOURTH MAN
    We were both born in the same hospital.

FOURTH WOMAN
    
(overlaps)
    In 1921.

FOURTH MAN
    Seven days apart.

FOURTH WOMAN
    In the same hospital.

FOURTH MAN
    We both grew up one block away from each other.

FOURTH WOMAN
    
(overlaps)
    We both lived in tenements.

FOURTH MAN
    On the Lower East Side.

FOURTH WOMAN
    On Delancey Street.

FOURTH MAN
    My family moved to the Bronx when I was ten.

FOURTH WOMAN
    
(overlaps)
    He lived on Fordham Road.

FOURTH MAN
    Hers moved when she was eleven.

FOURTH WOMAN
    
(overlaps)
    I lived on 183rd Street.

FOURTH MAN
    For six years she worked on the fifteenth floor—

FOURTH MAN
FOURTH WOMAN
—as a nurse where I had a practice on the fourteenth floor of the very same
I worked for a very prominent neurologist, Dr. Bemmelman. building.
FOURTH MAN
FOURTH WOMAN
We never met.
We never met. Can you imagine that?

FOURTH MAN
    You know where we met? In an elevator—

FOURTH WOMAN
    I was visiting family.

FOURTH MAN
    —in the Ambassador Hotel in Chicago, Illinois.

FOURTH WOMAN
    
(overlaps)
    He was on the third floor, I was on the twelfth.

FOURTH MAN
    I rode up nine extra floors just to keep talking to her.

FOURTH WOMAN
    Nine extra floors.

FADE OUT
.

FADE IN:

A TIGHT SHOT of one of those toy felt birds that somehow is able to miraculously keep dunking its beak into a glass of mater
.

WIDER TO REVEAL:

INT. HARRY'S OFFICE—DAY
Harry is sitting in his office staring blankly at this ornithological phenomenon. As Harry stares, we hear the sound of a phone RINGING. It is picked up by Sally
.

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    Hello.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    You sleeping?

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    No, I was watching
Casablanca
.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    Channel, please.

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    Eleven.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    Thank you. Got it.

As Harry continues to stare at the bird, we hear a few lines of dialogue from
Casablanca:
“Of all the gin joints …” etc
.

As the
Casablanca
dialogue continues, we—

CUT TO
:

INT. SALLY'S OFFICE—DAY
Sally is at her desk, doing business on the telephone. A woman walks in, hands her something
.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    Now, you're telling me you would be happier with Victor Laszlo than with Humphrey Bogart?

The woman walks offscreen as Sally looks at the magazine on her desk, hangs up phone
.

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    When did I say that?

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    When we drove to New York.

Sally turns to her computer terminal
.

CUT TO
:

INT. KOREAN GREENGROCERY—DAY
Sally moves along the salad bar, very selectively assembling a salad
.

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    I never said that. I would never have said that.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    All right, fine. Have it your way.

CUT TO
:

INT. HARRY'S APARTMENT—DAY
Harry sits on the floor with a deck of cards, pitching them into a bowl
.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    Have you been sleeping?

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    Why?

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    'Cause I haven't been sleeping.

Harry continues pitching the cards. We see the room is bare except for a couple of chairs
.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    
(CONT'D
)    I really miss Helen. Maybe I'm coming down with something. Last night I was up at four in the morning watching “Leave It to Beaver” in Spanish.

CUT TO
:

INT. HARRY'S APARTMENT—DAY
Harry is sitting in a chair, trying to read a book. He has a thermometer in his mouth. He can't concentrate. He keeps reading the same paragraph over and over
.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    
(CONT'D)
    
“Buenos días, Señora Cleaver
.
Dónde están Wallace y Theodore?”

Finally, Harry flips to the last page and reads it
.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    
(CONT'D
)    I'm not well.

CUT TO
:

INT. FITNESS CLUB—DAY
Sally in a tap-dancing class
.

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    Well, I went to bed at seven-thirty last night. I haven't done that since the third grade.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    That's the good thing about depression. You get your rest.

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    I'm not depressed.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    Okay, fine.

CUT TO
:

EXT. CHINESE RESTAURANT—NIGHT
Through the window, we see Sally is going through a very detailed ordering session. The waiter's trying to keep up. Harry just stares
.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    Do you still sleep on the same side of the bed?

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    I did for a while, but now I'm pretty much using the whole bed.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    God, that's great. I feel weird when just my leg wanders over.

CUT TO
:

EXT. STREET—DAY
Sally is putting mail into a mailbox, one letter at a time, checking to see that each letter has safely entered the box. Harry stands impatiently waiting
.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    
(CONT'D
)    I miss her.

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    I don't miss him. I really don't.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    Not even a little?

Harry is getting impatient
.

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    You know what I miss? I miss the idea of him.

Harry moves around beside Sally and rests his elbow on top of the mailbox, watching incredulously as she continues the ritual
.

HARRY
    
(Voice-over)
    Maybe I only miss the idea of her. No, I miss the whole Helen.

Harry's impatience with Sally's letter mailing gets the best of him. He impulsively grabs the remaining letters in her hand, opens the box, shoves them in, then hustles her off
.

SALLY
    
(Voice-over)
    Last scene.

AND NOW
SPLIT SCREEN:

INT. SALLY'S BEDROOM—NIGHT
Sally in bed on the phone watching
Casablanca
on TV and talking to:

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