“Remission? It’s
cancer?
”
I don’t know at this point whether she’ll want to be with me. Cancer is a big deal. It frightens away a lot of people.
“Leukemia. I went through treatment. In fact so much that I missed a lot of classes…they caught it in time, though. That’s what they tell me. My bloodwork’s clear. I feel great. It’s gone. I know it is.”
She’s silent.
She could choose to walk away. She could get up off the sand right now and say,
“Nice seeing you, Luke. Thanks for dropping by to find me. Keep in touch, okay?”
I wait and wait for what seems like an eternity. Finally, she rises and dusts off her legs. She holds out her hand to me, and I take it. When I’m on my feet, she says, “I know a great recipe for vegetable stew. All those vegetables…full of vitamins and minerals, just what you need. Come with me to my uncle’s house. I’ll make it for you.”
My throat seizes from all the emotions battling inside of me. Fear and hope and surprise and respect and longing and everything else that I’ve ever experienced except multiplied by ten.
“All right. Just one thing, though, Jennifer.” I pull her close and touch my finger to her soft cheek. “I love you. I’ve loved you from the second that you hung up your tiny mirror in locker 328.”
She smiles and blubbers and her eyes water and she yanks me tight to her curvy body and whispers, “I love you too, Luke. From the moment you sketched me that slice of chocolate cake.” She reaches on tiptoe to brush her lips against mine.
My mind, my heart, my cells explode.
She presses against me. I move my arms up around her shoulders. The kiss is powerful and long and lingering. Her lips swirl on mine and she envelopes me with such crazy sexiness that I can barely catch my breath.
After a long time in the darkness – although it could never be long enough – saying hello and getting to know each other again, we head arm-in-arm to her uncle’s place.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
It’s been a few days now with Jennifer. I’m awed by what she told me. She said she’s going to pretend that nothing’s wrong with me. That I don’t even have leukemia, so that saying I’m in remission isn’t necessary. Positive thinking, she says. She’s freaking amazing.
She can drive, so she’s been borrowing her dad’s SUV after school and meeting me daily for a few hours in the park by my house. Today, though, Saturday, I invite Jennifer home to meet my family. We’re having a barbecue.
My family’s weird. We have our problems. I’m hoping they don’t scare Jennifer away.
She picked me up earlier this afternoon for a long drive, and now we’re back at my house. Our arms are loaded down with a few things.
“You look really pretty,” I tell her. She’s wearing a summery dress and her brown hair falls loosely over her shoulders.
She stops me and gives me a big hug that fills up my soul. “You’re looking very handsome yourself.” She gives me a kiss.
I haven’t felt this strong in a long time. With the sun shining down on us on this bright September day, I feel like we can conquer the world.
When we step onto the porch, Rusty’s chewed-up ball rolls out from underneath the planks. “Hi, boy,” I whisper and kick it back beneath the boards.
I throw open the front door.
“Hello!” I holler.
“Is that you, honey?” says Mom from somewhere inside the kitchen.
I steer away from any smart-alecky response. “Yeah, me and Jennifer.”
My mom swings out from around the corner. “Hi,” she says to Jennifer.
“Hi, Mrs. Eric.”
“These are for you, Mom.” I hold out a bouquet of pink, fresh-cut flowers. The inexpensive kind that you get at the corner from a bucket. Jennifer helped me pick them out and they’re nice.
My mom appears stunned. “Oh.” She’s painted her fingernails a pale pink color. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her do that, since not before I got diagnosed. Her lashes flicker a million times and I pray that she doesn’t start bawling. “Thank you. Come in. It’s pretty casual around here, Jennifer. Make yourself at home.”
I’m grateful when my mom leaves us so we can work on a salad in the kitchen and she doesn’t hang around to interrogate Jennifer. I told my family a few things about her. Nothing too revealing. It only made them more curious, though, and I got tired of answering so many questions.
I don’t want to overload Jennifer with too much family stuff this weekend, so tomorrow when she visits, I’ve invited Vlad and this new girl he met at school to go to the movies with us. My parents, shock of all shocks, told me they’ll be attending church. It’s been a long time, and it feels right that my mom is returning.
When we’re done with the lettuce, I grab Jennifer’s hand and lead her through the screen door into the backyard. My dad’s there. He got a haircut. I stare at him for a moment because he’s smiling. He’s actually smiling.
“Hi Jennifer,” he says upon introduction.
“Nice to meet you,” she responds.
“Hope you like hamburgers.”
“Love ’em.”
He turns away to work on the grill.
I hear a ruckus at the screen door. Ivy’s trying to comb Simon’s hair and he’s giving her a hard time.
“You’ve gotta look nice,” she tells him.
“Get off me! And take your stupid comb!”
She shoves it into his hair and he cuffs it at the same time as he’s coming out to the backyard. The comb flies out at Jennifer. She tries to dodge it but it pings against her hand.
Both Ivy and Simon gape at us.
“Sorry.” Ivy dashes to pick up the comb. “Sorry, Luke.” Her face turns red and my heart rushes with sympathy that she’s still always apologizing to me.
And it’s at this moment, this precise moment of seeing her eyes shine with friendliness at Jennifer, her cheeks sparkling with affection at me, that I know.
I’m giving my sister the red dice next.
She’s the person who needs them. Not right now, but when she’s ready and when I’m ready to tell her everything that happened to me.
There’s something different about Ivy. She dyed her hair. Not blue this time, but auburn. And she’s wearing three earrings in one ear, like she used to. Pieces of her former self are shining through.
“My brother and sister,” I tell Jennifer. She’s met them before in my time travels, but I’m not sure who remembers what.
Jennifer gives them a big smile. “Hi.”
“I washed my hair this morning,” my eleven-year-old brother explains to us. “I combed it then, so I don’t see what the big deal is now.”
“You look good, Simon,” says Jennifer. He beams in response.
“Did you get any better at darts?” Simon asks her.
I stand frozen in surprise. I turn from his face to hers as if I’m moving in slow motion. He remembers! He played darts with her at the Harvest fairgrounds!
Her lashes sweep across her face. “Still lousy.”
“I’ve got a board. Maybe we can play later.”
She smiles and nods. The ache in my chest gets bigger. I love these guys.
“Good to see you again, Jennifer,” says Ivy.
“You changed your hair,” says Jennifer. “That color looks good on you.”
I sputter. All three of them remember!
“Did you do any surfing when you were in Hawaii?” Simon says.
Jennifer holds onto my hand. “A little. I-I belonged to a gym and every Monday after school they’d hold a surfing class on the beach.”
“No kidding.”
While they carry on a conversation about surfboards and ten-foot waves, my mom carries dishes to the picnic table. “Wasaga Beach is in the same direction as Parry Sound. Where my dad used to live. Same lake. You look familiar Jennifer. Did we ever…?”
My mother, too? Jennifer’s the one I initially said owed me a hundred bucks when I made up that convoluted story. I retracted it later but my mom remembers! That means she must also remember that I was there to visit Grandpa with her one last time.
Jennifer shakes her head slowly. “You look familiar, too. Maybe in passing at your gas station?”
“Can we help you set the table, Mom?” I ask.
“Sure. Take the paper plates.”
“Hey Jennifer,” says Simon, taking out a folded piece of paper from his pocket. “Did Luke ever tell you about this?”
Curious, I frown at what he’s showing her. It’s a newspaper clipping. I glimpse the black-and-white photo of me when I was six years old, my arm stitched up from the dog bites.
“He saved me,” Simon says to her. “That’s my brother.”
My eyes water. I’m back to being a good guy in his eyes.
Jennifer looks my way. “Wow. That’s amazing, Luke.”
I shrug, embarrassed, and turn to setting the picnic table with plates. Ivy helps with the cutlery, Jennifer adds the salad, and as my mom brings the vase of fresh-cut flowers, I realize that I’m not the same person I used to be. I’m better. Stronger. Happier.
I spoke with Dr. Burgen on the phone yesterday. Told him I was okay and that I’d get in to see him next week. That my last time travel was over and that I was fine. More than fine.
I’ll have to thank him for the red dice. I’ll have to tell him that my journey was powerful and meaningful. He’s probably noticed that I don’t go running to him with every new problem anymore. I’m figuring things out by myself. I guess that’s the whole point of therapy, right? Learning to stand on your own two feet?
My relationship with my family is different, too. We’re more comfortable with each other. Maybe I’m more at ease with myself and with the world, and it rubs off on them. Simon, of course…Simon. I’ll stand by him and Ivy till the end and beyond.
Tonight, maybe I’ll show everyone Grandpa’s film.
On the Life of Whales
. Grandpa would like that, and my family’s never heard the story of the beautiful film he was watching when he died. My heart still aches with the memory of the hours I got to spend with him. The burning question in my mind as I remember Grandpa and our time together will always be,
“Why did I live?”
When I look at Jennifer gently laughing with Simon and talking to my mom and dad and sister, my whole body fills with the depth of my love for her. Jennifer looks over at me unexpectedly, and gives me that intimate smile that only the two of us share. And I realize the biggest change in me, since going back in time and facing my three mistakes, is that I learned to appreciate my life.
Imperfect. Scary. Awesome.
I love my life.
COMING SOON
Visit Kate’s website
http://katebridges.com
for the latest information on upcoming books, and to read free excerpts.
Dear Reader,
Thank you for buying this book. I enjoyed writing Luke and Jennifer’s story. When I first started, I never thought I’d be telling the entire story from Luke’s point of view, but once I got going and he was emotionally involved, his words flowed. Delving into this novel made me wonder about pivotal moments in a person’s life, and what each of us might do if faced with an opportunity of going back in time to change them. I welcome and appreciate all reviews, if you’d like to share your opinion on your favorite online site. For updates on what I’m currently writing, please visit my website.
Best wishes,
Kate
Website:
http://www.katebridges.com
Visit my nature photography and stock photo website:
http://www.looklagoon.com
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kate Bridges,
USA TODAY
bestselling and award winning author, enjoys writing young adult and romance fiction. Her stories have been translated into numerous languages and are sold worldwide. Her research often takes her to exciting places, such as the Rocky Mountains, the Yukon, and London, England. For this book,
When I Find Her
, Kate explored beautiful Ontario. Prior to becoming an author, Kate was a pediatric intensive care nurse. Now in addition to writing novels, she’s a professional nature photographer. When her computer is turned off, you might find Kate with her family, hiking the escarpment near their home by Toronto, Canada, or taking photos of the sunrise.
BOOKS BY KATE BRIDGES
Visit
http://katebridges.com
for more information.
Young Adult Novels
When I Find Her (Kate Bridges)
The Incredible Charlotte Sycamore and the Secret Traps (writing as Kate Maddison)
The Incredible Charlotte Sycamore (writing as Kate Maddison)
Romance Novels by Kate Bridges
Welcome to Wyoming
Rancher Wants a Wife
Alaska Bride on the Run
Mail-Order Marriages (anthology)
Alaskan Renegade
Wanted in Alaska
Western Weddings (anthology)
Klondike Fever
Klondike Wedding
Klondike Doctor
Wild West Kiss (short story)
The Commander
The Bachelor
The Proposition
The Engagement
The Surgeon
Frontier Christmas (anthology)
A Season of the Heart (anthology)
The Midwife’s Secret
Luke’s Runaway Bride
The Doctor’s Homecoming
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