When I Wasn't Watching (26 page)

When she came she was silent, biting her lip to keep from crying aloud, but tears coursed down her cheeks so that she turned her head to one side as he reared up and over her, then curled her legs over his hips and guided him inside her with one hand, exhaling as she felt his own breath hot on her neck.

She felt almost dreamy as he made love to her, his rhythm as soothing as a lullaby, the movement of his hips choreographed perfectly with hers. She felt his heartbeat quickening, heard his breath coming faster, and then he strained against her, his muscles tensing beneath her fingers, groaning out her name as he climaxed. He rolled over, taking her with him, so they again lay on their sides facing each other, limbs tangled and her hair covering both of their faces. Although their movements had been slower than before Lucy was sticky with sweat.

Matt was looking at her with a sort of wonder in his eyes that made her flinch away, feeling vulnerable, and bury her head in the pillow.

‘Lucy,' he said, his voice soft, but urgent, ‘do you want me to stay over again? I can sleep in the spare room, but I don't want to leave you on your own tonight.'

‘Ricky might come back.' Will come back, she affirmed to herself. He had to.

‘Even so.'

‘I can look after myself,' she said, and Matt gave her a smile that was more sad than anything else.

‘I don't doubt it; but you shouldn't have to.'

Lucy hid her face again, this time in his chest, making no move to pull away when he laced a hand through her hair at the back of her head, pulling his fingers through it in a repetitive motion the way one would soothe a child.

He loved her, or was at least starting to. She knew that even if Matt hadn't quite admitted it to himself yet. She could see it in the way he looked at her, feel it in the way he touched her, and she wasn't yet sure how she felt about that. Already his coming into her life had resulted in repercussions she couldn't have foreseen, and he was changing her, or helping her to change, in ways she wasn't ready for.

Mostly, she just wanted her son home, and now that the afterglow of their sex was subsiding she was beginning to feel guilty, as she had known she would.

Lucy sat up and reached for her clothes, glancing at the clock. It was nearly eleven. Ricky was past his curfew, and she felt a stab of panic. Him going missing in the day was one thing, but him staying out all night, that brought with it a dozen nightmare scenarios she didn't even want to contemplate.

Matt's phone rang where it lay half out of the pocket of his jeans, discarded on the floor. Lucy shied away from it before she realised she had done so. Lately, every ring of a phone seemed to bring bad news with it. As she saw the look on Matt's face when he answered it, it was evident that this particular call wouldn't be the one to break the pattern.

‘Is it Ricky?' she asked, feeling her stomach churn. Matt shook his head.

‘No. Murray – the poor bastard who was burned earlier? He died in hospital.'

‘I'm sorry,' she said, not really knowing what she was sorry for but feeling it somehow appropriate that she should be. Matt pulled on his clothes, looking out of the window as he did so, then walked to the glass and peered out. Straightening up he turned to Lucy with a strange expression his face.

‘Those alleyways at the back of the house, where do they lead out to?'

‘Old Church Lane,' she said, puzzled.

‘Does Ricky use them?'

‘Yes,' she said slowly, wondering where he was going with this but deducing from his tone it was nowhere good. ‘When he's walking to my mother's, and to Tyler's.'

Matt was pulling his shirt over his head and reaching for his shoes.

‘You're going?'

‘There's just something I need to check. I'll be as quick as I can.' He leaned over the bed and kissed her on the nose. ‘Stay here, and if you hear from Ricky, call me?'

He was gone and she was left staring after him before she could even formulate a question.

Ten minutes later a surly faced and obviously stoned Tyler opened the door and blanched when he saw Matt.

‘My dad's still not back.'

‘I don't care about your dad.' It was all Matt could do not to shake the boy. ‘Earlier, when I asked you where Ricky might be, you knew something didn't you?'

Tyler shook his head, looking scared.

‘Don't lie,' Matt almost shouted, seeing the boy's eyes go wide in response.

‘I don't know for certain okay, but there's this old building down near the supermarket. We went there a couple of times last week. It's all boarded up but one of them was broke.'

Matt was sprinting down the path before Tyler could even close the door. He phoned Lucy, pacing the street outside his car. She answered on the second ring.

‘Have you found him?'

‘Maybe. What did your mum say he was wearing, can you remember?'

‘Of course. Jeans and a dark red hoodie. Matt, what is it?' Her voice rose in panic and Matt knew she was thinking the worst.

‘Everything's fine,' he lied, ‘but what about his head? Was he wearing anything on his head?'

Lucy hesitated, then said, very slowly, ‘Yes. A baseball cap.'

‘Stay next to your phone. I'll be as quick as I can.' He rang off and wrenched open his car door, his heart hammering as he prayed he was wrong.

As he pulled up near the abandoned building Tyler had told him about he saw something that both proved he wasn't wrong, but neither were his worst fears correct.

For walking out of the building in his hoodie and baseball cap, was Ricky. Holding the hand of a small blond-haired boy.Other than the fact that he looked tired, blinking in the lights of the car, Benjamin Armstrong seemed completely unharmed.

Part Three

‘Parents should not be punished for the sins of their children; nor children for those of their parents'
Deuteronomy 24:16

Chapter Fourteen
Wednesday Night

As he locked eyes with Ricky he saw the boy tense and knew he was ready to run. He got out of the car with his hands raised placatingly, trying to keep his tone neutral in spite of his pulse thundering in his ears.

‘Ricky, are you okay? Your mum and nan are sick with worry.'

Ricky's face trembled, on the verge of crumpling to tears, and Matt smiled at him, or tried to, even though his instinct was to lunge for the smaller boy who was standing quietly at his side.

‘I was taking him home,' Ricky said in a small voice. ‘He was asleep, then he woke up and asked for his mum, so I was taking him home.'

‘Home,' the boy echoed hopefully, then looked up at Ricky. ‘Are you coming?' There was no fear at all in his voice, no distrust of the older boy who had apparently taken him.

Ricky didn't answer, but was now looking dangerously close to tears, so Matt bent down to the little boy.

‘It's Ben, right?'

The boy nodded, his eyes wide.

‘Well, if you and Ricky come with me, I'm going to take you back somewhere where you can see your mum.'

The boy looked doubtful, looking at Matt and the car and then up to Ricky.

‘It's okay,' Ricky said, his voice shaky, ‘he's a policeman.'

The boy looked at Matt with renewed interest. Matt opened the door and stood aside as Ricky let the boy into the back seat and belted him in. He went to climb in after him, but Matt laid a hand on his arm.

‘In the front, Ricky.'

Still looking as though he was about to burst into tears at any minute, Ricky got in the front seat without saying a word. Matt got in the car and drove off, glancing at Ben in the rear-view mirror. The hum of the car was causing his eyelids to flutter, soothing him into sleep.

‘Please tell me,' Matt said in a low tone so as not to disturb the boy, ‘that you just found him wandering around somewhere?'

Ricky was silent, then:

‘Is my mum okay?'

Lucy. God, how was he going to explain this to her? Instead he reached into his pocket for his phone and handed it to Ricky, who hesitated.

‘Just let her know you're okay.' The boy nodded.

Matt tried not to eavesdrop but couldn't fail to hear Lucy's cry of relief as she heard her son's voice, or Ricky's choked sobs as he told her over and over he was sorry.

‘I'm in trouble, Mum,' he sobbed, but Matt shook his head at him. Better to get a clear picture of things before he had to deal with a hysterical Lucy.

‘Tell your mum you're with me, and safe, and she's not to worry about anything. I'll phone her as soon as I can.' As an afterthought he added, ‘And tell her you had nothing to do with the attack today.'

Ricky looked puzzled but nevertheless repeated the message. Then after ending the call he asked Matt, ‘What attack?'

‘I'll explain later. Let's concentrate on getting Ben home.' As he said the words the situation hit him. Benjamin Armstrong was alive. He had found him.

In spite of everything he felt a rush of gratitude so strong that he could almost cry himself. The boy was alive. Terry Prince wasn't behind his disappearance. And whatever madness had been going through the kid's head, Ricky clearly hadn't harmed a hair on his head.

‘He looks like Jack,' Matt thought aloud, not realising he had spoken until he saw the redness creep over Ricky's cheeks. But of course, it made a crazy kind of sense. He had known that the child's resemblance to Jack Randall had played a part in his disappearance, but had assumed it was for more disturbing reasons than that he reminded the older boy of the little brother he had loved and lost.

‘Am I going to jail?' Ricky asked, and Matt was reminded of the harsh reality of the situation. He was going to have to take Ricky in for questioning; he would probably even be charged, though exactly what with he wasn't sure. There was little precedent for this type of thing. What this would do to Lucy he didn't want to contemplate. Still, it wasn't the worst outcome. He glanced in the mirror at Ben again, who was sleeping soundly and looked perfectly content.

‘Let's get you to the station and you can give me your account of things, son,' he said, then added as he saw Ricky's face fall, ‘but you're certainly not going to any jail tonight other than the one your mum will put you in.' His attempt at humour had obviously failed, judging by the way that Ricky shrank back into his seat and closed his eyes, no doubt anticipating his mother's wrath.

They were silent for a while until Ricky said, so quietly he had to strain to hear him, ‘I saw him.'

‘Saw who?'

‘Jack. In the building. I saw Jack.'

Matt felt a chill settle over him.

‘You mean Ben.'

‘No,' said Ricky impatiently, ‘Jack. My brother. Just for a minute.'Matt didn't answer, keeping his eyes on the road ahead, but his heart thudded in his chest. He was no psychiatrist, but a fourteen-year-old seeing manifestations of his murdered little brother didn't bode well for the future.

‘You don't believe me,' Ricky accused. Matt glanced over at him.

‘I believe you think you saw him,' he said, doing his best to be diplomatic in a bizarre situation, ‘but as I wasn't there, I can't say.'

Ricky turned sideways away from him after that, shutting him out, and didn't speak for the rest of the journey.

When Matt walked into the station with a mortified Ricky and a sleeping Ben in his arms, the PC at the reception desk looked at him with shock.

‘Is that…' He nodded at the small figure in Matt's arms.

‘Yes. Is the Chief Superintendent or Detective Sergeant Miller still here?'

‘No, sir.'

‘Well phone them. And WPC Kaur.'

‘What about the parents?'

Matt paused as he realised that in all of this he hadn't even thought about the very people who should by rights have been notified first; Mr and Mrs Armstrong.

‘Them too. I'll deal with Child Services and call the searches off.'

The PC nodded, raking blatantly curious eyes over both Ricky and the sleeping toddler. Matt didn't enlighten him but led Ricky into an interview room, where he formally arrested him.

‘Wait here,' he ordered after reciting the usual spiel, then seeing Ricky's frightened eyes, ‘Try not to worry; it will be fine. You're both safe, that's the main thing.'

Then Matt sat in his office, while Benjamin made a murmuring noise and cuddled further into the warmth of Matt's body. Matt stared down at him with a kind of awe. Lost in an obviously pleasant sleep, having had a strange but clearly not harmful day, they boy had no idea of the chaos his disappearance had caused.

Ricky must have though, surely. Matt shook his head to himself, unable to grasp the implications of the older boy's deed. A lawyer and probably even Children's Social Services would make much of the fact the child had reminded him of his brother, that Ricky had meant him no harm, and had even been intending to return him home. Though they only had Ricky's word for that. Matt believed him, but would everyone else? He was fourteen; old enough to know better and certainly to have some awareness of the anguish his actions would have caused. A whole minefield of future complications rose in Matt's mind and he groaned to himself, causing the boy to wriggle in his arms and give a murmur of disapproval. The weight of his body was causing his arms to go dead and Matt shifted him, which caused the boy to sit up and look at Matt sleepily.

‘Mummy?' he said, looking distressed.

‘She's on her way,' Matt said and the boy looked somewhat mollified. He looked around him and then, clearly seeing something more interesting over the other side of the office, tried to wriggle out of Matt's lap. Matt was looking around for something to entertain him when a shadow loomed over him. He looked up at Dailey who was staring at the boy as though he were an exotic animal, then looked at Matt, his brow creased.

‘What. The. Fuck?' he said, articulating exactly how Matt was feeling.