When I'm with You (16 page)

When he opened his eyes, it was to gaze down at her as he always had, as if he couldn't believe his good fortune at finding her there beneath him. No man had ever looked at her that way. She cherished it, even if that wasn't what he was thinking.

He pulled away and sat up, running a hand through his hair. “I need to settle matters here first.”

“And then? What happens once you do that?” She tried to ignore the butterflies that returned to her belly. They weren't comfortable; there were so many of them in there. She'd never been one to make demands. Why would she? The likelihood of them ever being met was almost non-existent. Scraps were all she should hope for, and anything more than that should be considered a gift.

But the words were out, and she twisted her skirt as he just stared.

Then he smiled. Only it was no ordinary smile. This one was slow and roguish, and made her feel warm inside.

Her warm feeling turned into the urge to brain him when he said, “Does this mean I'm forgiven?”

She shoved the rest of the canvas off and got to her feet, where she smoothed her crumpled skirts. That wasn't enough for her fidgeting hands, so she tucked several loose strands of hair behind her ears. She adjusted her cap, knocked askew by Rafe's hurried fingers. When she'd pushed the last pin back into place, she said, “By all rights, I should say no.”

“You should.” He stood up beside her, did his own amount of smoothing and tucking, and when he was satisfied, he leaned in and brushed his lips over her nape. “But you do forgive me, don't you?”

“That feels so nice.” She sank into him with a murmur of contentment, fighting to keep her eyes open. “And I probably shouldn't, but yes. I forgive you.”

He slid an arm about her waist to press her into his chest. “I will make it up to you, Katie. I promise you that. If it takes me the rest of my life, I promise you, I will make you happy.”

She turned in his arms and smiled up at him. “You have no idea what you've just promised, but I'm going to hold you to it.”

Chapter Fourteen

For the remainder of the afternoon, Katie struggled to keep the smile off her face. It wasn't easy, but somehow she managed.

After poking her head out to make sure the corridor was clear, she and Rafe parted, but not before sharing one last lingering kiss. She returned to the kitchen while he went wherever it was he needed to be, and when she'd finished her chores, she made her way back to Lady Sally's chambers to help the lady dress for dinner.

Lady Sally stood before the wardrobe with a finger pressed to her lips, clad in only her underthings. At the sight of her, Katie had a pang of conscience. Her happiness would come at her Ladyship's expense. Lady Sally hadn't done anything to deserve being hurt in such a way. She had always been unfailingly kind to her.

“Help me choose what to wear this evening,” Lady Sally said by way of greeting, flashing her brilliant smile in Katie's direction. “It must be perfect. I think he's going to ask me this eve.”

Katie had to force her smile into place as she joined Lady Sally. “Have you narrowed the list, or am I starting from one end and working toward the other?”

“Green is a wonderful color for me,” Lady Sally mused, running her hand over the gowns hanging from the rack, “but so is blue. Which do you think?”

“You've worn a lot of green over the last few days.”

“True. But it is my favorite color.”

“Be that as it may, I think you should try a different shade altogether.” Katie reached into the wardrobe's depths, flipping through the falls of silk and heavy satin until she found the gown she sought. It was ivory, edged in peach, with a fall of lace along the center of the bodice. It was airy and feminine. “This one would look lovely on you.”

Lady Sally's nose wrinkled as she stared at the gown in question, and her expression suggested disagreement. “I've never worn that one. It's terribly daring—” her fingers trailed over the low rise of the bodice, “—isn't it?”

Katie shook her head. “I don't think so. I don't know much about fashions, of course, but I think it's lovely.”

“Do you think Captain Sebastiano will think so as well?”

“Absolutely.” The word rolled off her tongue on its own. Truth was, it hardly mattered
what
she wore, as Rafe probably wouldn't notice one gown from another. Katie couldn't help but feel pity for Lady Sally. She had no idea that her night was not going to end the way she planned.

“I'll need a tucker for this. Papa will never let me out of this room otherwise. But I suppose I could always yank it free once he's out of sight.” Lady Sally turned away from the wardrobe, and Katie was taken aback by her frown.

“What is it?” Katie asked as she drew a fresh crinoline from the wardrobe.

Wood banged lightly against wood as her Ladyship shut the wardrobe and crossed to her dressing table. “I heard something disturbing today. Captain Sebastiano was found in your chambers.”

“Is that so?” Katie calmly pulled the door open again to retrieve the ivory gown. “I heard Abigail claimed to have seen him, but when she and Mrs. Bates went to look, there was no one to be found. I think she let her imagination get the best of her. It's no secret there are several of us who wouldn't be unhappy to have one of the captains sneak up.”

Katie smiled as she said it, but her Ladyship didn't return it. Her expression remained somber as she peered at Katie in the mirror. “So he wasn't there?”

“I don't think so. I wasn't there myself, m'lady, so I can't be certain. I was in the dining room today. But if Mrs. Bates didn't find him, I'd think he wasn't. I'm certain I'd have heard an earful if she'd found any man in my chambers, never mind a guest.”

Katie's guilt worsened when Lady Sally exhaled and moved to her dressing table. “Thank goodness. Could you imagine the humiliation I'd suffer? My soon-to-be fiancé found in one of the
maids'
chambers?”

Her Ladyship laughed as if those were the most absurd words ever spoken. They held no malice, but Katie still felt a flash of irritation at how Lady Sally seemed to regard the maids as women unworthy of the attentions of a man like Rafe. To women like her, servants weren't people at all, but existed solely to see to the needs of the privileged. Until now, Lady Sally had at least pretended they were friends. Apparently, Katie had terribly misjudged her place in her Ladyship's eyes.

As much as she'd have liked to scowl at Lady Sally, Katie could do nothing more than bob her head and reassure her. “Fortunately, you've nothing to worry about.” She brought over the crinoline, and Lady Sally stood to allow her to ease the starched waist into place and tie the tapes. Then came the corset. Lady Sally reached for the bedpost, holding fast as Katie began the intricate process of tightening and lacing.

“Remember, nineteen inches,” Lady Sally said over her shoulder.

“Nineteen?” Katie made a face as she wrapped the silk cords about her hands. “What happened to seventeen?”

Lady Sally responded by glaring at her, so Katie shrugged, murmuring, “Nineteen it is,” and set to work.

Her Ladyship grunted with each tug on the cords, and Katie found whittling her waist to nineteen inches was only slightly easier than trying to pull it to seventeen inches. “If I may, m'lady, why
did
you wish this looser?”

“I was told Captain Rafe prefers ladies with a little meat on their bones.”

Katie toyed with the notion of tying the corset to fifteen inches, but she couldn't do it in good conscience. So nineteen inches it was, although she didn't look at all different when Katie finished.

Lady Sally stared at her in the mirror for several moments, until Katie began to wonder if she could tell, just by looking at her, that she and Rafe had shared those fiery kisses.

Finally, she moved back to her dressing table, and Katie offered a silent prayer of thanks as she retrieved the comb and set to work on her Ladyship's coiffure. She combed and twisted and pinned Lady Sally's thick curls, perhaps with a little more vigor than usual, but she had to keep her brain occupied, lest she blurt out her confession. Part of her wanted to clear her conscience, although Lady Sally would probably be shocked to find a maid even
had
a conscience. But it simply wasn't worth the consequences. Besides, what purpose would it serve? Lady Sally would be hurt soon enough. Let her enjoy her happiness for as long as she could.

She remained silent as she finished helping Lady Sally get ready for dinner. As far as she was concerned, the evening couldn't end quickly enough. When the lady swished out, she was a vision in shimmering ivory and peach, with diamonds sparkling at her ears, throat, head and wrists.

Katie savored the silence as she went about tidying up the room. The tap on the door was unexpected, and she jumped, dropping the box of hairpins as she whirled about to come face to face with Serena Sebastiano.

“Is something the matter, Miss Sebastiano?” Katie crouched to pick up the hairpins scattered across the carpet. “Did you need something? Lady Sally has already gone below, if you're looking for her.”

To her surprise, Serena crouched right alongside her to pluck the pins from the floor. One by one, they plunked into the box. “Not at all, Katie. Actually, you're the one I wished to speak with, and I'd hoped to catch you before you went below.”

“Why's that?” Katie snapped the lid closed. She tightened her grip on the box to keep her hand from trembling. “Did you need me to help you?”

“Heavens, no.” Serena waved an airy hand. “
Mami's
maid has already fussed over me enough for one evening. Any more and I'll go completely mad. No, I wanted to speak with you. About my brother.”

“I beg your pardon?”

There could be only one reason why Serena wanted to talk to her about Rafe, but a strange sense of calmness stretched through Katie's body. It seeped into her mind, into her bones, and with a slight shock she realized she didn't care any longer who might know what about her. And with that came relief.

Serena didn't have the look of smug satisfaction that Abigail always seemed to possess. She didn't look disgusted either. Her eyes, the same swirling pewter as her mother's, held no pity. If she reviled Katie, she hid it well. She looked quite friendly.

Serena peered over her shoulder at the empty doorway and then closed the door. “I know who you are, Katie,” she whispered, her voice just audible as she caught Katie by the hand. “Rafe has told me. About Jamaica, I mean.”

Although she hated herself for blushing, Katie couldn't control the heat that swept up into her face. Perhaps she wasn't quite as comfortable as she'd originally thought. “Is that so?”

“I'm not going to say anything to anyone, if that's your fear.” Serena patted her gently on the arm, warmth in her eyes. “My brother cares for you and that's really all I'm concerned about. I don't necessarily agree with my parents when it comes to—well, what you did before you met Rafe. Or what you did
with
Rafe, for that matter.” Color filled Serena's cheeks, and her voice died away as an embarrassed smile came to her lips. She blinked and tilted her head to one side. “I mean—”

“I know what you mean.” Katie glanced down at the long-fingered brown hand on her arm. Not quite ready to confirm or deny Serena's suspicions, she asked, “So why did you want to speak with me?”

“I know my brother's made a terrible mess of everything. And I think you should punish him for it as hard as you can. But I also think you should talk to him and let him apologize to you. You can't hate each other forever. There's nothing fun in that, and it certainly never leads to kissing.”

Her first instinct was to tell Serena it was none of her concern, but she held her tongue. If Serena was an ally, picking a fight with her bordered on utter stupidity. Not that Serena gave her the chance, as she quickly added, “Tonight. After everyone's gone to bed. He'll be in his chambers. If you wish, I will help you see him.”

Katie didn't know if she should be elated or suspicious. Why would Serena wish to help her? No proper lady would want to see her brother with someone like Katie.

But there was such a note of sincerity about her, and an air of genuine warmth, as far as she could tell. She wished she didn't always feel the need to question everything and everyone. It was so wearing, and Katie was tired of being worn down.

And truth be told, she rather liked the idea of sneaking off for a tryst with Rafe. She certainly wouldn't have minded that tryst earlier.

“You—you will?” she asked with a hint of hesitation.

Serena nodded, her eyes bright and dancing with mischief. “Absolutely. I'll come fetch you when everyone's gone to bed for the night.”

The notion of Serena creeping about Marchand Hall in the dark, unfamiliar with the layout, made Katie flinch. Somehow, she didn't think it would end very well for any of them. “That's probably not so wise. I know the house far better.”

“Good point. You probably do. Shall I meet you and bring you to him, then?”

Katie tried to think of the simplest way to meet Rafe, chewing lightly on her bottom lip as she weighed her options. “The library. It's the easiest to find in the dark.”

“Wonderful!” Serena practically squealed, squeezing Katie's arm. “This is just so romantic! And I do love romance.” She released Katie to hurry to the door. “I'd best go downstairs before anyone misses me. I will see you when? Midnight or so?”

“Midnight will be fine.” By then, even Abigail should be asleep.

Serena's excitement was contagious, and Katie found herself smiling as the other girl waved and darted from the room. She took a bit longer than usual to finish tidying up. She had to; her hands trembled at just the thought of sharing a few midnight hours with Rafe. Time was going to crawl until then.

* * * * *

“Your coat, Captain.”

Rafe held out his arms to allow Marcus to ease on his frock coat. Having a valet was something he wasn't used to, as he preferred dressing himself. His father could afford a passel of valets, but Inigo had never understood the need when a man was perfectly capable of putting his own clothes on, and Rafe and his brothers all followed the same vein of thought. At Marchand Hall, it would be an insult to their hosts to even suggest a valet might not be necessary. Still, Rafe had made himself perfectly clear; he'd only tolerate one when dressing for dinner.

Marcus smoothed the fabric over Rafe's shoulders, and Rafe noticed that the man's fingers seemed to linger a bit longer than necessary. Before it could become uncomfortable, Marcus picked up the lint brush and went to work making sure no unsightly debris clung to the fine cloth. Rafe grinned ruefully. Sometimes his imagination loved to toy with him.

“Would you care for me to queue your hair, Captain?”

Rafe bent slightly to peer at the mirror and scowled at his reflection. The queue would be more fashionable, but if being dressed bothered him, the thought of sitting still and having his hair done as a lady would was enough to make him grit his teeth.

“I thank you, Marcus, but no. I'm capable of doing it myself.”

“Very well, Captain. Will there be anything else?”

Rafe waved toward the door. “Go on. I'm fine.”

“Yes, Captain.”

Finally alone, Rafe savored the peace and quiet. It was most likely the last he'd have until he left Bermuda. And when he left, he intended to have Katie with him.

He fully expected the serenity to be shattered when he sat down to tell Sally they wouldn't be marrying. If it somehow managed to survive that, he had no doubt it would die when he then informed both sets of parents of his decision. Very few people would be happy once he broke that news.

He was past caring. He'd made enough mistakes to last a lifetime because of his childish need for approval. This time, he was going to do the right thing by Katie, and to hell with anyone who thought to get in his way.