“Yes. I guess I'll see you at the game.”
Chapter 7
S
arah tucked the last clip into her hair and turned to retrieve her purse.
As she turned, her eye caught the plush beaver perched between the pillows on her bedâthe beaver Josh had given her after winning a ribbon for his science fair project back in elementary school.
She couldn't believe she still had it, after all these years. All her growing-up years, it had held the position of honor in the middle of her bed. She'd taken it to college, where she had also put it in the middle of her bed in her dorm room, with much teasing from her roommate. When she moved back to Bloomfield and bought her townhouse, the beaver still held its prominent position.
Sarah picked it up and sighed. Maybe it was time to put it away.
She turned and looked at herself in the mirror. Physically, she was ready for her date with Josh, . . . emotionally, she'd already lost all her steam.
At the first sign of her trying to be romantic, Josh turned tail and ran. Even more discouraging, she usually saw him a few times a day as they both came and went from their businesses. Even if they didn't speak, they always waved from a distance.
Since they'd parted ways on Wednesday, it seemed like Josh had almost been avoiding her. The one time she did see him, he'd kept his head down while concentrating on somethingâshe didn't know whatâand he hadn't seen her, even though she'd waved to get his attention.
His efforts to avoid her couldn't have been any more obvious, and that never happened, not even when they were kids and she'd been so obvious about her affections for him. That he was avoiding her now made it so much more painful.
If she hadn't given her word that she'd accompany him tonight, she would have found a way to back out. But she'd given her word, and God said that a person's word was their bond, so she couldn't back out.
She put the beaver back down on the bed, probably for the last time, made one more adjustment to one of her clips and was ready to touch up her lipstick when the doorbell rang.
As she opened the door, her breath caught at the sight of Josh in a suit. The muted tones of the jacket complemented his eyes, which tended to change between green and gray, depending on his mood or what he wore. Today, they were gray, an almost perfect match with his light gray suit jacket. Beneath that, he wore a white shirt, which she knew he chose because everything matched white, and a black tie, because the buttons on his jacket were black, as were his pants and shoes. A little stark, but none the less attractive.
Even though she knew all his clothing patterns, he was still tall, trim, and handsome . . . and not interested in her for anything other than a buddy.
She sighed. “I just have to lock up and we can go,” she said, never before trying so hard to sound cheerful when she was anything but.
As she gazed up at his face, Josh's ears turned red and he stiffened while he looked up and down the lines of her dress, all the way down to her shoesâshoes that she'd paid a fortune for, and now didn't know why she'd bothered. “You look nice. Really nice.” He checked his watch. “Let's go. I'm a bit later than I wanted to be.”
Like a gentleman, he escorted her to the passenger side of his car, opened the door, and waited for her to be seated and her legs tucked inside comfortably before he closed the door and walked around to the driver's door.
In a way, it was flattering, but a total waste of energy, because she knew how he felt.
If she hadn't been unsure about how crowded the parking lot at the restaurant would be on a Friday night, she would have taken her own car. Then she could have left him with his friends and gone home when he no longer needed her.
They arrived at the restaurant early, but Josh's friends were even earlier.
She remembered Rob; they'd met briefly when Josh brought him to Bloomfield on one of their breaks from college. Even though she'd never met Cassie before, the woman seemed amiable, friendly, and open.
This gave Sarah some hope for the evening until Cassie grabbed Rob's hand, and when he looked at her, she blew him a kiss.
Beside her, Josh flinched.
Cassie giggled, speaking to them without breaking eye contact with her husband. “When we got married, we couldn't take any time off from our jobs, so we've decided to take a few extra days and use this little break as our honeymoon.” She giggled again. “Since we're mixing business with pleasure, we get to write off part of this trip on income tax. Isn't that such a good idea?” Cassie's smile widened, as did Rob's, and in their little universe the rest of the world ceased to exist as Rob leaned toward Cassie for a short kiss.
Sarah's stomach flopped at the thought of watching two quasi-newlyweds while the only real love of her life showed more interest in the nutrient information in a bag of dog food than the dress she'd spent more time shopping for than wearing.
Fortunately, the server came to take their orders, forcing Rob and Cassie to separate.
When the waiter left, Rob and Cassie's hands were still clasped together, but at least they finally looked across the table instead of at each other.
Rob grinned. “Do you want to talk business now or later?”
Josh shrugged his shoulders. “Now is as good a time as any. In fact, it's probably best that we do this before any food comes to the table so we have more room.”
Rob reached into a briefcase and extracted a handful of brochures and papers, and a single-serving sample of dry dog food. “I'd like to give you a case of these, but we weren't going to bring any more into a restaurant. We're staying at the Olde Town Inn. Do you know where that is?”
Sarah and Josh nodded at the same time. “Of course,” they answered in unison.
Sarah felt her cheeks turn warm, and Josh laughed.
Josh turned to his friend. “Let's get the business over with. Show me what you've got.”
While Rob began his introduction blurb, his left hand and Cassie's right disappeared under the table.
Sarah nearly sighed out loud at the romantic notion of holding hands under the table. As she turned to Josh, the brochure and list of ingredients of the dog food held his full attention, making her wonder if he'd noticed what his friends were doing.
Sarah gave her head a mental shake and followed along in the brochure while Rob explained the nutritional benefits and quality control in the manufacturing of the product. Before she had a chance to ask any questions, the server appeared with their meals. The four of them quickly scooped up all the papers, Josh tucked the sample bag of dog food into his pocket, and the server set their meals in front of them.
All four of them bowed their heads, and for a few seconds, Rob and Cassie separated their hands from each other to fold their hands on the edge of the table.
Josh gave a short prayer of thanks for their food and time together, and they began to eat.
After they'd finished the main courses and were waiting for their desserts, Sarah could see how they began losing Rob and Cassie's attention in increments. By the time their desserts arrived, Rob and Cassie's gazes were locked on each other, and they didn't notice that the conversation had lulled.
Josh turned to Sarah, his cheeks darkening in color the longer Rob and Cassie stared into each other's eyes. His voice dropped to barely above a whisper. “I'm so sorry. I had no idea they were going to be like this. I'm glad I'm with you instead of a real date. That would have been really embarrassing.”
The wonderful supper she'd just eaten suddenly turned to a lump in her stomach. Josh's words couldn't have been more effective if they'd come from inside a bucket of icy water hitting her full force in the face.
Regardless of what she'd known about the evening, even though he'd told her quite plainly his plans for the night, she'd woven a fantasy of how the night would turn outâthat like Prince Charming, Josh would sweep her off her feet and declare his love, and they'd ride off happily into the sunset.
The sun had apparently set behind a cloud hours ago, and no one had noticed. And the white horse had taken off without her.
Her eyes began to burn, and she felt her throat tighten. She refused to cry in front of Josh. He'd told her from the start that this wouldn't be a real date; he'd only needed an escort. She'd offered to be that escort, knowing the situation. Only her delusions made her imagine there could be more.
She pushed her half-eaten dessert away and slid her chair slightly back from the table. “I have to go to the ladies' room. Excuse me.”
Josh's eyes narrowed. “What's wrong?”
Sarah reached down to grab her purse. “Nothing.”
Just as she found the strap, Josh's fingers closed around her wrist. “Your eyes look funny. Can you breathe okay? Do you feel hot? Are you all right?”
She shook her head. “It's okay. I'm fine.”
“Look into my eyes. Can you see everything clearly? Can you make out the colors?”
Only because of his insistence, she looked into his eyes. “Your eyes are . . .” Beautiful. Warm. Eyes that she saw in her dreams. Eyes that would never look at her the way she wanted them to. “. . . gray today.”
“We didn't ask about any ingredients tonight. Close your mouth and breathe through your nose.”
“No. Josh. Iâ”
His grip around her wrist tightened, and his voice lowered. “I said, close your mouth and breathe through your nose.”
She did, but of course her nose was already half clogged.
His eyes narrowed as he glared into hers. “Your eyes aren't right.” Before she could respond, he grabbed her purse and held her wrist, and he stood and dragged Sarah to her feet. “There must have been peanut oil in that dessert. Where's your EpiPen?”
“No. Iâ”
Before she could think of what to say without letting him know that this wasn't an allergy attack from peanuts, that she was barely holding back from crying, Josh turned to his friend. “Excuse us for a minute. We have to go outside.”
Without waiting for Rob to respond, Josh tugged her away from the table and outside to the parking lot. He propped her up on his car, opened her purse, and dumped the contents out on the roof. Before she could do anything, he'd scooped up her EpiPen and readied it. As she opened her mouth to protest, her skirt whooshed up her leg and the sting of the needle pierced the fleshy part of her thigh, making her breath catch.
Josh's arms wrapped around her. “Breathe deeply. How do you feel? Do I call for an ambulance, or are you okay if I drive? But I warn you, I'm not paying attention to any red lights.”
“I'm fine. It's not serious. I'm okay. Remember, I'm a doctor too.”
“You're an animal doctor.”
“But I'm still a doctor.”
“The patients you handle don't go into anaphylactic shock.”
“Neither will I. At least not this time. I'll be fine. Just let me be for a few minutes, and you'll see.”
At least he didn't shove her down into the backseat of his car, but he didn't release her. “It's true. Doctors make the worst patients. Even animal doctors.”
Sarah was completely aware of everything around her. Her vision was clear, she had no trouble thinking, and her breathing would be fine if only she could blow her nose.
Mostly, she was aware of Josh holding her. Tightly. Almost too tightly. She felt a tremor in his grip. Very slight, but it was there.
She didn't really want him to release her, but she had to show him that she was fine.
“You can let me go now, Josh. I'm stable.”
Instead of letting go, his grip around her tightened slightly. “Are you sure? It hasn't been very long. How about if we stop off at Dr. Platt's clinic? He doesn't close until late on Friday night. Then we'll both be sure.” Sarah was already sure, but she didn't have the heart to minimize Josh's reaction. He really was scared for her, and she thought it very sweet.
“If you won't go to the hospital, then I guess I can settle for that. At least he's a people doctor. He also owes me a favor, so it won't cost me anything.”
Slowly, he released her, keeping his hands extended toward her, not backing up until he was sure she stood without swaying.
Josh shook his head, ran his fingers through his hair, scooped everything from atop the car back into her purse, and handed it to her. Slowly and gently, he wrapped one arm around her waist and backed her up a step while he opened the car door. Using both hands, he guided her as she sat, and he backed up only when she had both feet tucked inside. “Are you going to be okay for a minute? I have to run back inside and tell them we're leaving.”
Sarah bit down on her lower lip. One day she would point out to him that she could always tell Josh's stress level by the condition of his hair. For today, she couldn't remember ever seeing it so messyâshe'd lost track of how many times he'd run his fingers though itâand it looked absolutely adorable in contrast to how impeccably he was dressed. Although she felt fairly certain he wouldn't appreciate knowing she thought he looked adorable when he was so stressed. “I'll be fine. Really.”