Authors: Isabelle Rae
“I’m Jessica Edmunds, um… where were you teaching before?”
she asked, chewing on her lip and looking at him through her eyelashes.
Slut! Stop looking at him like that.
Will smiled. “I wasn’t. This is my first teaching job. I
graduated college this year and was lucky enough to be offered this position
immediately,” he replied. “What’s your favourite movie, Miss Edmunds?”
I didn’t listen to her answer; I was watching him so
intently that it was actually making my eyes sting.
What the hell are we
going to do? Maybe I’ll have to transfer schools or something or he’ll have to
quit his job. Jeez he would be in so much trouble if people find out he’s dating
a student.
I listened to his answers of the class’s questions as they
asked them. He was twenty two, he lived alone, his favourite book was sports
illustrated - which earned a laugh from the class. His favourite movie was
Halloween, the original version. His favourite sport and pastime. The list went
on and on of trivial facts that I mostly already knew about him and his family.
The class seemed to be hanging on his every word.
When he got to me, I noticed that his hands gripped the edge
of his desk making his muscles in his arms tense. His jaw was tight. He was
looking at me angrily but was obviously trying to hide it with a polite smile. “Name?”
he asked.
I shifted in my seat knowing I needed to play along with the
whole, ‘I don’t know who you are’ thing. “Chloe Henderson. And um, I don’t have
a question,” I mumbled, squirming under his intense gaze.
He raised one eyebrow. “Okay, well I have one for you, Miss
Henderson. Do you like to lie?” he asked. His beautiful grey eyes were hard and
burning into mine.
Do I like to lie? What the hell have I lied about to make
him ask that?
“No, I don’t lie,” I answered, shaking my head in confusion.
“Really? Never lied about your age or anything?” he prompted.
His voice was tight and harsh. The class had gone quiet and was watching the
exchange, obviously interested in where this line of inquiry was going.
He thinks I’ve lied about how old I was? I’ve never lied
to him, ever
. “No, I’ve never lied about my age,” I replied confidently as
I frowned at him.
Why the hell is he looking at me like that? This it isn’t
my fault!
His hands seemed to tighten on the desk edge as he looked like he
wanted to say something else. Instead, he looked away from me, turning his
attention to Amy who sat next to me. He nodded for her to ask her question.
She leant forward in her chair, obviously excited to get her
turn at asking him a question. “Okay so I’m Amy Clarke, and I wondered if you
had a girlfriend.” Her voice sounded seductive even to my ears.
His eyes tightened, his whole body tensed he didn’t even
look at me as he spoke. “No I don’t. What’s your favourite colour?”
I felt my heart break at his words.
No? How can he say
no?
My eyes prickled with tears. I couldn’t be here; I couldn’t sit here
any longer and pretend like I wasn’t dying inside. I stood up quickly and
grabbed my bag from the floor, throwing my books in it angrily. Class was
almost over now anyway.
“And where exactly are you going, Miss Henderson?” he
questioned, sounding so much like a teacher that it hurt my insides.
“I need to be excused,” I croaked as I walked to the door. I
could practically feel everyone’s eyes on me. Shocked silence filled the room.
“Sit down, Miss Henderson,” Will barked.
I ignored him as the tears started to flow down my face. I
swiped them angrily and threw the door open. As soon as I was in the hallway I
ran, not knowing where I was going but just needing to be away from here and
alone before I broke down completely. Suddenly fingers wrapped around my hand,
and I was yanked to a rough stop. I looked around to see Will standing there.
His expression was incredibly angry.
“Where the hell are you going? You can’t just run out of a
class like that! I’ll have to give you a detention or something for that,” he berated,
shaking his head and letting go of me as he stepped back and ran a hand through
his hair.
I was still hurting from the ‘I don’t have a girlfriend’
answer in class, and I could feel the tears trying to force themselves out
again. I knew I needed to get away from here quickly. “Just do whatever you
want,” I muttered, shrugging, trying to appear unconcerned. I turned to walk
away, but his words stopped me.
“For fuck sake, Chloe, what the hell else am I supposed to
do? Let you walk all over me in class?” he spat venomously.
That’s all that’s bothering him? The fact that I'd made
him look like a pushover by walking out of his class? Nothing else about this
whole situation is affecting him at all?
I turned round and gave him my best drop dead glare. “If
you’re that worried about what your precious class think of you, then give me a
month of detentions; make me scrub whiteboards for the rest of the school year,
see if I care. Do whatever you want, just don’t ever talk to me again,” I growled
angrily.
The bell rang signalling the end of class. He grabbed my arm
and pushed me into the nearest bathrooms roughly, locking the door behind him.
“You think all I’m bothered about is my reputation for being a soft teacher?
Trust me that’s the least of my worries,” he snapped. “I slept with a fucking
minor! Do you know how much trouble I’m in right now? Do you know how freaking
long I’m going to jail for because you lied to me?” His hands gripped into his
hair roughly as he glared at me accusingly.
“I didn’t lie to you. You knew how old I was.” I lost my
battle against the tears and slumped down to the floor, sobbing and hugging my hugging
my knees to my chest.
He made an angry snorting sound in his throat. “I met you in
a club, Chloe! How am I supposed to gain that you’re a minor from that?” he
countered, kicking the wall in frustration.
I shook my head. “I told you that night that I was in school.”
This wasn’t my fault, I definitely told him.
“I thought you meant college not pissing high school! You
have to be twenty-one to get into the club! You should have told me. Damn it,
Chloe, I’ve been sleeping with you for two weeks!” he raged, looking at me
disgusted.
I pressed my face into my knees and sobbed until I couldn’t
breathe. This was my fault he was right. I could see his point, I was underage
in a club, and I’d never specifically told him how old I was, I just assumed he
was all right with it. We’d never specifically spoken about school or his jobs
or anything because we always had better things to talk about.
“I’m sorry,” I croaked. “I thought you knew, I honestly
thought you knew and didn’t care.”
He groaned. “How the hell could I not care that I was raping
a minor? Is that the type of guy you think I am? A paedophile?” he asked
angrily. He slid down the wall next to me and put his head in his hands. I
could feel his body heat crashing into me and his aftershave filling my lungs.
“It wasn’t rape,” I correct adamantly, shaking my head,
raising my eyes to look at him. He was pale and clearly shocked. His whole body
looked defeated and sad. His shoulders were slumped forwards; his perfect
angels face tight with worry and stress.
He sighed sadly. “Yes it was. I took advantage of you. I’m
an adult, and you’re a minor, that’s how it works.” He rested his head back
against the wall and closed his eyes.
Took advantage? Is that some kind of joke?
“Are you
kidding me? Do you have any idea how much I wanted you? How much I still want
you?” I asked, frowning. I was incredibly angry at him for cheapening what
happened between us by making it sound like it was wrong and dirty.
“You need to go to the Principal and report it. I’ll come
with you,” he croaked, pushing himself up and walking over to the door. His
hand was just about to flick the lock before I grabbed it, stopping him.
I shook my head fiercely. “I’m not telling anyone, I don’t
want you in trouble because of something that I did wrong. This is my fault,
you’re right. I should have made sure you understood. I’m so sorry. You’re not
a paedophile, please don’t think that,” I begged, stepping closed to him and
wrapping my arms around his waist. I buried my face into the side of his neck,
breathing him in. He was trembling, I could feel it.
“You need to report this, Chloe, or I will. It’ll look
better on you if you do it,” he countered, taking my arms from around his waist
and stepping back from me. He looked like he was in pain.
“No, I won’t do it,” I refused. “And if you do, I’ll tell
them you made it all up.” I looked at him warningly. I wasn’t allowing him to
get into trouble because of this. We’d get through it and work something out.
He shrugged. “If you have to.”
“Don’t do this, no one needs to know, please, Will,” I
begged. My tears were falling again as I pressed my back against the door,
gripping the lock tightly so he couldn’t get out.
He sighed and stepped forward, wiping my tears away with his
thumbs. “Please don’t cry.” His voice broke as he spoke and it made my heart
clench in my chest.
We were quiet for a little while; the only sounds were my
ragged breathing as I struggled to stop crying. He just stood there staring at
his feet looking pale and scared.
“How old are you anyway?” he asked quietly, still not
glancing up from his feet.
“Seventeen. I’ll be eighteen in eight months.”
He groaned and nodded. “And you don’t want to report me?” he
asked. I shook my head fiercely. “Thank you,” he said gratefully.
“You don’t need to thank me. You didn’t do anything wrong,”
I whispered, stepping closer to him and wrapping my arms around him again. He
hugged me back this time and I pressed my face into the side of his neck loving
the feel of his body against mine.
His breath blew into my hair as he held me against him. “We just
need to pretend like this never happened, like we just met in the classroom,”
he said quietly. His arms tightened on me as I went to jerk back to look at
him.
What the heck does that mean? He doesn’t want to be with
me?
I opened my mouth to beg him, but nothing came out. Deep down I knew we
couldn’t be together, not only was it illegal because of my age, but he was
also my teacher now so we would both be in a lot of trouble if this came out. He
would lose his job and probably go to jail, and I would be expelled.
“I don’t want to do that,” I whispered, trying desperately
not to cry again.
“Well we don’t have a choice. Thank you for not reporting me,
which you have every right to do, but I can’t be anything other than a teacher
to you. We need to stay away from each other. It’s just lucky that this has all
come out now instead of further down the line when we had any feelings for each
other,” he said, pulling away from me.
Any feelings for each other? Does that mean he doesn’t
feel anything for me already? Wow that hurts so much.
I knew I was falling
for him, another couple of weeks and I would have been head of heels in love. I
thought he felt the same, but he must have just been using me all along. I
really had him all wrong.
He bent his head and kissed my forehead softly, his lips
lingering on my skin. It was a sweet kiss, a goodbye kiss. He stepped away and
flicked the lock on the door and walked out quickly. As soon as I was on my own
my heart seemed to shatter. My chest tightened, and my breathing hitched before
I finally gave in and succumbed to the devastated and rejected tears.
I stood there for ages not knowing what to do. Could I
pretend that nothing happened like he said? Sure it was probably easy for him
if he didn’t feel anything for me, but I was totally crazy about him. How was I
supposed to sit in his class everyday knowing that? I took a deep breath and
splashed some water on my face. My skin felt tight from all the crying, my eyes
were sore, and I was starting to get a tension headache.
When I was composed again, I walked out of the bathroom,
keeping my eyes firmly on the floor, not wanting people to see me and know I
had been crying. I couldn’t tell anyone. I couldn’t talk about it at all. I had
no one to rant to and help me mend my breaking heart because I couldn’t get
Will in trouble. I silently thanked my lucky stars that he hadn’t met any of my
friends as they would have known who he was today.
The hallway was abnormally quiet for the end of school. I
raised my head and risked a glance to see the hall empty of people.
Where
the hell is everyone? Surely people should be messing around in the hall
getting their things from their lockers before heading home.
“Chloe!”
I turned round to see Nick walking towards me smiling. “Hey,”
I muttered, turning my body so he wouldn’t get a clear look at my face that was
sure to be puffy and red.
“What are you still doing here? Amy was looking for you
earlier, she’s gone home now,” he said, stopping at my side.
I looked down at his feet letting my hair fall over my face.
“She left? What time is it?” I asked, confused.
“It’s almost four.”
Almost four? Was I in the bathroom for that long?
“Where were you anyway? Amy said you jumped up and ran out
of class like a bomb went off and then she couldn’t find you.” He put his hand
on my shoulder, squeezing gently. The warmth of his hand seeped through my
shirt and into my skin. I turned my head and put my cheek on the back of his
hand needing comfort as my eyes started to fill up again. “Are you okay?” he
asked quietly. I shook my head in response. He pulled me into a hug, stroking
his hands down my back as I sobbed on his shoulder. When my tears finally dried
up he pulled back and cupped my face in his hands. “What happened?”