Authors: Isabelle Rae
I shrugged. “Calculus.”
He grinned. “I know that, obviously, but what part of it?”
“Nick, just the whole stupid thing. I just don’t get it.” I
looked at him hopelessly. He sighed and gripped my hand pulling me down next to
him; he took my apple out of my hand and threw it in the trash. “Hey, I wasn’t
done with that!” I whined, pouting.
“Chloe, if we need to go over the whole thing then we need
to get started; otherwise we’re going to be here all night long,” he explained,
pushing a pencil and stack of paper in my direction.
Three and a half hours later and I had my forehead pressed
against my arms. “I can’t do anymore! My eyes hurt, my hand hurts, and my brain
hurts!” I whined.
“Come on, you’re doing awesome. Just two left to go,” Nick prompted,
elbowing me in the ribs for the hundredth time.
“Please?” I begged, turning my head and looking at him
giving him my puppy dog face.
“You’ve really had enough?” He sighed, looking a little
defeated.
“Oh hell yeah, I can’t look at another equation without
screaming,” I confirmed, nodding enthusiastically.
He frowned but pushed himself up to sitting. “Fine then,
let’s leave the last two. You can do them after dinner. We still need to go
over the homework assignment; we’ve barely even covered what’s been happening
in class all week.” He looked at me warningly so I let out a long groan of frustration.
“Oh man, seriously? I thought we were nearly done.” I wanted
to cry. It was actually making sense the way he was explaining it to me, but I
just couldn’t cope with doing anymore. This was just too much all in one go.
He smiled apologetically. “Nowhere near done. There’s a couple
of hours left easily.”
I sighed. “Thank you so much for doing this for me. You’ve
wasted your whole Saturday to help me, and I really appreciate it.” I hugged him
tightly. He really was adorable. I was lucky to have him as a friend. I was so
glad that we seemed to be able to move back into the friend zone after dating;
otherwise I would really miss him.
“You’re welcome. Anyway, how about you pay for it now? I’m
starving.” He scrambled to his feet, taking my hands and pulling me up too.
I laughed and followed him to the kitchen, both of us
stretching our muscles as we went. Trevor smirked at us as we walked through
the lounge. “Get much studying done?” he asked.
“Yeah, loads actually. We’re nowhere near done though,” Nick
answered, ignoring his dad’s obvious disbelief; clearly he didn’t think we were
studying in there.
“Okay that’s good,” Trevor replied, taking another sip of
his drink. “Hey, Chloe, your shirt’s on inside out,” he called just as I got to
the kitchen door.
I gasped and looked down, mortified that I’d been out in
public with my clothes on the wrong way. I could hear Trevor laughing his ass
off as I realised my shirt was fine. “Studying… right,” he mocked sarcastically,
shaking his head and rolling his eyes. I looked at him with wide eyes,
squirming with embarrassment as my face seemed like it had burst into flames.
Nick shook his head and grabbed my hand, pulling me the last
few steps into the kitchen. “Ignore him.”
I blushed even more. “Ignore him? Nick, he thinks we were in
there having sex!” I hissed, trying to hide around the corner so Trevor
couldn’t see me.
Nick shrugged. “A couple of months ago we would have been,
that’s all he’s basing it on. Why the hell are you blushing so hard? You didn’t
seem to care that he thought we were having sex when we actually were,” he said,
chuckling.
“Yeah but he didn’t know we were then!” I countered.
“Oh he knew, trust me. I got a lecture about safe sex almost
every night.” He nodded slowly, watching as I digested that information.
I can’t believe that whole time we told his dad that we
were listening to music, or watching TV, or doing homework when we were dating,
that he knew what we were actually doing! Oh God, how am I going to look him in
the eye from now on?
“Calm down, Chloe! You’re being stupid. We were actually studying
just now. You have no reason to be embarrassed.” He rolled his eyes and headed
to the fridge, pulling out the ground beef and tossing it in my direction. I
came back to reality just in time to catch the packet before it hit the ground.
“Good catch. Now come on, stick to your end of the bargain and make me some
food. I could eat a horse.” He rubbed his stomach as if it was hurting.
I laughed.
He is so silly sometimes.
“Right, I guess.
Just make sure you tell him after that we weren’t doing anything okay?”
He nodded. “Whatever makes you happy.”
After dinner we went straight back to studying again. I was
so bored I could cry.
How on earth could Will study this at college? He
doesn’t even strike me as the calculus kind of guy, he’s too… fun.
By the
time we’d gotten through the homework assignment it was almost midnight and my
eyes were stinging from the effort.
“Want to stay here tonight?” Nick offered, shrugging and
packing up his books we’d been using.
I smiled. “Sure, if that’s all right with your dad.” We’d
arranged to go out in the morning anyway as he wanted to get a new pair of
sneakers, so it seemed silly me going home only to be picked up again in a few
hours anyway.
“I’ll go ask. He won’t mind though, you know that.” He
shrugged as he headed out of the room. I knew he was right, his dad wouldn’t
mind at all. Trevor was always easy going like that and adored Nick. He trusted
him completely. While we were dating I’d stayed over a few times - though my
parents thought I slept in the spare bedroom of course.
I pulled out my cell phone and called my mom to let her
know. I knew she’d be awake still, waiting for me to get home. My parents were
night owls at the weekends staying up late. Nick came back in while I was still
on the phone to my mom and nodded signalling that his dad said yes. He pulled
out a T-shirt and threw it into my lap for me to wear. I smiled gratefully and
finished talking to my mom.
Once she’d agreed, and I’d assured her that we were just
friends, I disconnected the call. I smiled at Nick. “Thanks, you know I’m
keeping this though, right?” I asked, waving the T-shirt at him. I loved to
wear a T-shirt to bed and the couple that he’d left at my house we getting a
little worn out now. He sighed and took the shirt from my hands, pulling out a
different one and handing that to me instead. “What’s wrong with that one?” I
asked, laughing.
“That’s my lucky shirt. I can’t give that away, it helps me
get girls.” He smirked at me.
I laughed and looked at it as he folded it and stuffed it
into a drawer. “Weren’t you wearing that shirt when you asked me out?” I asked
curiously. He was definitely wearing sky blue that day, I remembered
specifically because that was the first time I ever looked at him as anything
other than a friend. It was sort of engrained in my memory.
He grinned. “Yep. Lucky T-shirt,” he confirmed.
I shook my head and walked to his bathroom to get changed. When
I went back into his room he was making up a bed on the floor with spare sheets
and pillows. I smiled guiltily because he was planning on sleeping on the floor
in his own house. I knew he wouldn’t let me sleep on the floor - that just
wasn’t his style.
“You can sleep in bed with me if you want, I trust you,” I offered,
laughing as I climbed into his cold bed.
He frowned uncomfortably. “Umm… won’t that be a little
weird?”
I shrugged. “Only if we make it weird. It’s not like
anything’s going to happen, we’re just sharing a bed that’s all. I share a bed
with Amy all the time,” I said casually. I knew it was different but I didn’t
want him to sleep on the floor. I was completely fine with it; it was just
sleeping after all.
“It’s a little different with two girls sharing a bed,” he
mumbled, picking up his pillow from the floor still looking a little undecided.
“I don’t mind. If you think it’s weird then I’ll sleep on
the floor.”
He sighed and threw his pillow at me. I giggled as it hit me
in the face. “Okay fine, but don’t grope me in the night,” he teased, looking
at me warningly.
I grinned. “I’ll try my hardest not to.”
He laughed and went to turn out the light; I settled down into
the bed, hugging myself against the cool night. I felt the bed dip and knew he
was in, but he was staying on the other side, not making any moves to come near
me, just like I knew he wouldn’t. He always was adorable like that, not like
most seventeen year old hormonal boys would be if they were in a bed with a
girl.
I was shivering lightly so I scooted closer to him, pressing
against his side and using his body heat to warm myself up. He laughed. “I thought
we agreed on no groping,” he said playfully. I laughed and pressed my cold nose
against his shoulder. “You cold?” he asked, turning and lifting his arm so I
could snuggle closer against him.
“Yeah,” I mumbled.
He wrapped his arm around me and hugged me close to his
body. I was warming up now so I started to get comfy.
“Chloe?” he whispered after a couple of minutes.
“Yeah?”
“It’s the anniversary of my mom’s death next week…” he
trailed off, his voice wavering with sadness.
I hugged him tightly. I already knew that but I didn’t want
to bring it up unless he did. I didn’t want to upset him. His whole body was
tense and stiff. “I know it is,” I said quietly.
“I was wondering if, when I got to the cemetery, whether you
would come with me?” he asked hopefully.
I smiled sadly. Nick hated to go to the cemetery. He got
really upset there so he only went on the anniversary of her passing, or on her
birthday. Each time I had gone with him and held him after while he cried. “Of
course I will,” I whispered. I felt a tear fall down my cheek. It upset me to
think of him upset, it was heartbreaking to see this adorable boy in pain like
that, but I did it because he needed me. I was the only one he ever really
opened up to about his mom. He put on a tough act to everyone else that he was
okay and unaffected, even to his dad.
“Thanks,” he mumbled.
“You don’t need to thank me. I’m here for you, you know that.”
I hugged him tighter and tried desperately not to cry as I heard him getting
upset. His body trembled lightly as he cried silently in my arms. “Shh, it’s okay,”
I cooed, not knowing what else to say.
Three years had passed since she died, but he still missed
her like crazy. I’d always wished that I’d met her before she died. Judging by the
way that Nick and his dad talked about her, she was a truly amazing woman. He
fell asleep after a little while and I closed my eyes needing sleep too.
In the morning I decided I needed to stop being upset over
Will, after all we hadn’t even dated for that long. I felt stupid being so
upset over something so trivial after seeing Nick cry over his mother. That was
real grief, that was something worth being upset over, not a relationship that
barely even started. There was nothing I could do about Will now, sure I would
love to see him again and have him kiss and hold me. I would be lying if I said
I didn’t want him to tell me he was wrong and that we could be together. Before
all of this happened I was crazy about him, and could see myself falling harder
and harder for him. If things had carried on going the way they were he would
have been the love of my life, I could tell, but it was over now and I needed
to stop being so hung up about it. It would be hard seeing him every day, but I
needed to try and distance myself from him a little and start looking at him as
just my teacher.
As Amy pulled her car into the parking lot on Monday morning
I felt a lot more positive than I had done for the last week. The lunchtime
detentions were over, so it was just his class I would have to deal with, but
even then I decided to focus on the work instead of swooning over him. The
anniversary of Nick’s mom’s death had kind of put a fresh reality on the
situation for me and made my problems seem smaller somehow.
I followed Amy up the hallway and we stopped outside our
lockers, grabbing books for the morning. Out of nowhere someone grabbed me from
behind. My heart stuttered and I squealed from shock, jumping a mile into the
air. I turned around to see Nick laughing.
“You’re hilarious,” I muttered, hitting him in the stomach
with my notebook.
He grinned and threw his arm around my shoulder. “Sorry,
couldn’t resist.”
I glanced at his feet to see he was wearing his new sneakers
that we chose yesterday. “They fit okay?” I asked, nodding down at them.
It had been fun yesterday. Nick was so easy to be around,
and even though I woke up lying all over him in the morning that still hadn’t
made anything awkward between us. I silently wished I could just feel something
more for him, but I just didn’t. There was no spark there. I loved Nick dearly,
but just not in the right way, not like a girlfriend should. I wasn’t sure I
ever did. I thought I loved him like that at the time, but after being with
Will and knowing what it feels like to be in that kind of relationship, it made
what Nick and I used to have seem immature and just a bit of fun.
He nodded. “Yep,” he confirmed. “So I have a couple of
practices after school this week, but I can fit in tutoring on Wednesday and
Thursday.” He cocked his head to the side.
“Sure awesome.” I grinned.
The bell rang so he pulled away from me. “I’ll see you guys
at lunch,” he called as he headed in the opposite direction to where mine and
Amy’s first class was.
As he ran off I looked up to see Will watching me. A frown
lined his forehead. I grabbed my last book and walked with Amy towards gym. As
we passed Will I smiled, trying to be polite. “Good morning, Mr Morris,” I greeted,
trying to sound confident even though my stomach had butterflies.