When the Music Stops (14 page)

“No problem. Thanks for working with Betty.”

On the walk home, Marta wondered about the Faris family. So this was shy little Betty’s father. His work day partially explained why the grandmother brought Betty to class. His wife must work or else she’s one of those women so absorbed in her own needs that Betty gets shoved to one side like Bartley did. Marta stopped herself. She sounded like Carol, the grumpy, judgmental boarder at Mrs. B.’s in Billings. At least Betty had a grandmother who helped out.

h

September’s cooler weather reminded Marta she’d been home more than four months. In that time she had started her recovery, found the community theatre, begun teaching at the studio, and ruined her relationship with Steve. It had been over a week since she’d watched Steve walk away. He’d not called, so she’d need to call him in the next few days, while he’d still be thinking about her.

Lately Marta took solitary, hour-long walks to provide space and alone time for her mom and Robert and to work through how she felt about issues in her daily life. So far, she’d covered all the streets and roads around Rhododendron Drive and Callow. During this evening’s walk she found herself strolling along Corbett Drive. She stopped at an open stretch of beach and sat on a log to watch the wind ruffle the waves as they splashed against the shoreline. She enjoyed the cool edge of autumn creeping into the air as summer faded.

As she turned toward home, she noticed a House for Rent sign attached to the front porch railing of a small house: She walked around the exterior of the wood-frame house, looking in the windows, gauging the space in the living room and kitchen, and wishing the bedroom curtains were open. The sign said $85 a month plus utilities. She could manage that if she budgeted her money. Wouldn’t take much furniture to make it comfortable, and she’d sew any curtains she needed. Her day-to-day life was settling down. Now if only her dating life would stop being a moving target.

Marta smiled that evening when she sat down to figure her finances. If she saved all her wages, she’d be able to rent the little house on Corbett Drive by Thanksgiving. Hopefully it would stay available that long. She suspected Robert would declare his intentions to her mom during Christmas so her timing to move out might be perfect.

Before she went to bed, she needed to deal with the gnawing feeling that circled through her body. Contacting Steve. A phone call? Too soon. A postcard? Too impersonal. It needed to be a letter. She took out her mom’s best stationary and sat at the kitchen table. Now the hard part: what to write.

Tap, tap, tap. She flipped the pen against the table, waiting for ideas to blossom.

Dear Steve,

I’m glad you took the time to come to Bremerton to see me. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to meet you when you arrived. Seeing you at the door would have made my day perfect. As it turned out, I ruined your surprise in so many ways. I can never say I’m sorry enough but I am truly sorry.

I know you’re upset with me and I don’t blame you. I’m upset with me as well. In my defense I didn’t realize how the day would end. I guess I was lonely and felt flattered Dennis noticed me. I’ll give up my job at the theatre if you want me to. That way I’ll have no contact with him. I certainly don’t intend to date him if that is your concern.

After you left, I realized that I didn’t know why you were here. I’m hoping it was because you had an interview. I know you’re looking for a job at lots of different newspapers. Seattle or nearby would be wonderful. I hope you will still want me to be part of your life after you graduate. And I hope I’m still invited to your graduation in December. I want to share that special day with you.

Please write and tell me how you’re feeling after you think about everything for a few days. I love you and hope I have not destroyed our love by my stupidity.

Marta

Before she lost her nerve, she slipped on her shoes, walked to Callow and dropped the letter into the mailbox outside the A&P grocery store.

The cool evening air soothed her face as she walked home by way of the far end of Rhododendron Drive. She sat on a driftwood log listening to the waves splash against the beach. The constellation of Orion hovered over the bay, tipping ever so slightly as it moved across the sky. Please, please, Orion, she thought. Help Steve understand how sorry I am over what happened. Help him forgive me.

8

M
arta slept in spurts over the next few nights, hoping to hear from Steve, knowing she needed to allow more time before he'd consider answering her letter. Much as she thought she'd handled her personal conversations with her mom, she knew her mom noticed changes in her behavior. As she sat rocking, the phone rang. Maybe….

When she picked up the receiver and heard Dennis's voice, her heart sank.

"Hey, ready for that follow-up on the date you promised me? I thought we could take in a movie or drive out to see the fall colors along Hood Canal."

"I can't, Dennis." Marta paused and plunged into her dreaded conversation. "I've decided to try to rebuild my connection to Steve."

"Huh," Dennis said. "So Mr. Sorta won after all. I thought we had a good time."

"We did, Dennis, but Steve and I have shared several life-changing events."

"But, hey, I'm right here, only minutes away. He's in Montana."

Marta closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath, "It's complicated. I'm hoping we can continue to work together and—"

"Look, Marta, I need to go. See you around."
Click
.

Marta frowned as she stared at the phone in her hand. That was abrupt and interesting. It appeared she’d made one good decision. Even if Steve refused to listen to her and forgive her, not dating anyone would be better than getting entangled with an impolite Dennis.

The telephone party line remained open, so she dialed Steve’s family home and held her breath. He answered after the third ring.

“Hi, Steve. Do you have time to talk with me?”

“I’ve got a couple of minutes.”

Marta felt the sting of his abruptness and heard the somber edge in his voice. She swallowed and dove into her apology. “Did my letter arrive?”

“Yes. Is that why you called?”

“Partly.” She paused. “Also, I miss you and I think about you every moment since you left. I know you’re hurt and angry.”

“No, Marta. I’m not angry. I’m disappointed.”

“I’m disappointed in myself as well, but I can’t go back and undo what happened. I was lonely and flattered by Dennis’s attention. You know how I feel about you.”

“I thought I did, but now I’m not sure.”

Marta’s tears gathered in her eyes. “You
do
know how I feel. You’re my first love, my only love. You’re smart, funny, and kind. Being with you and thinking about you…You stuck by me when I was grumpy and sad about my injury. You even flew home last Valentine’s Day and took me to the mountains to cheer me up. I’m hoping you care enough about me to give me another chance. I love you.”

The phone line remained a quiet hum. She heard Steve’s breathing. He cleared his throat. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about you and about us. I want us to work, Marta. I do love you, but seeing that guy kiss you twisted something in my gut.”

Marta stretched the phone cord as she stared absentmindedly out the window. “I’m sorry about Dennis. It was a huge mistake. How can I get you to believe me?”

Steve exhaled loudly. “Maybe if you’d continue to write to me instead of me always writing to you and never hearing back. Maybe if I felt your support and encouragement. You didn’t even ask me why I’d come to see you.”

“I realized that. I’m sorry. I assume you had an interview. Want to talk about it?’’

“Not now. The interviews aren’t important unless something comes from them.”

Marta hesitated, deciding not to press him for information. “I’m realizing how selfish I’ve been. I’ll sit down and write another letter tonight.”

“Writing another letter isn’t the point, Marta. I want you to
want
to write to me. I want to hear what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, and how your recovery is progressing. If our relationship is going to grow, we need to share our daily lives.”

The phone line hummed in silence. “My life isn’t interesting. I’m not starting a career like yours. Promise you’ll not give up on me.”

“I can do that. But, Marta, your life
is
interesting to me. I want to be involved in what you do, what you think, and how you feel.” Steve paused. “It’s just over two months until my graduation. When you’re here we can talk and decide where we are. You’re coming, right?”

“Absolutely!” she said.

When their call ended, Marta felt a lightness return to her body. By attending his graduation she opened the chance for their relationship to recover and continue. She took in several deep breaths, then walked into the living room where she selected a classical ballet album and started the stereo record player. As the first strains of
Sleeping Beauty
began, she closed her eyes and swayed, feeling the music awaken the emotions inside her.

h

As the first weekend of October ended, the play
Our Town
ended as well, but not without a surprise. Hal invited Marta to the cast party so she could say goodbye to the people she’d worked with. He’d tried to entice her to remain assisting the theatre group, but she’d politely refused, using her dance classes as an excuse.

Marta stood talking with the actors when she spotted Dennis across the room. The young, blonde woman with him turned toward Marta, laughing at something Dennis said. Marta nearly dropped her glass. It was Alice Marsden, Robert’s daughter. While Dennis turned to speak to a group of men, Alice walked over to Marta.

“Hi,” Alice said. “I didn’t think I’d see you here. Did you work on the play?”

“No, but I didn’t expect to see you here either, Alice. Did you like the play?”

“Not really. Dennis, my boyfriend, dragged me here.”

Marta tipped her head and bit her bottom lip. “How long have you dated Dennis?”

“Don’t you remember? He was at our family picnic at your house. We hit it off and started dating that same weekend. We like so many of the same things: walking to the beach at Illahee, bowling, and going for long drives.” Alice sighed. “He’s so romantic.”

Marta nodded and used her stage smile to cover her urge to wring Dennis’s neck. “That sounds wonderful for you, Alice.”

As Dennis approached Alice and Marta, his smile disappeared as Marta’s grew wider. “Dennis, how nice to see you again. Alice has been catching me up. If you two will excuse me, I need to head home. I’ve several overdue letters to write this evening.”

All the way home, Marta chuckled at her stupidity, believing anything Dennis said. Seeing his smile drop from his face gave her decision an enormous boost.

Dear Steve,

Thanks for your latest newsy letter. I’m not surprised your project earned an A. I know how hard you worked on it. I earned so few A’s it’s as if the alphabet began with C. (I’m joking but it’s also true.)

Our Town was a great play. I’m no longer helping with their plays. It’s best since the dance studio is keeping me busy. I’m counting the days until I see you so we can talk and celebrate your graduation as well as the holidays.

Miss you tons,

Marta Fluff (ha,ha)

Remembering her promise to write to Steve, Marta was determined to keep her conversation light and sharing bits of herself. The more she wrote to him, the easier it became to find funny moments to share. She also realized Lynne had stopped writing or calling; another relationship she valued needed to be restored. She’d save any discussion of her problems with Steve for their face-to-face conversation.

Lynne,

Hope you are staying out of trouble without me. I’m taking on classes and enjoying the chance to create my own dances.

Looks like I’ll be in Billings to watch Steve graduate and see you dance in the Nutcracker. Hooray!!

Thinking about moving out to a place of my own. Yes, I’m going to act like a grownup, but I can’t afford a car yet. And, no, I don’t want to buy your clunker. It wouldn’t survive a week on our hilly roads.

Marta

She attached a stamp to each letter and left them out in the mailbox for pickup. She hummed as she watched the pecan rolls rise in the oven, filling the house with the sweet scent of cinnamon and toasting nuts. They’d satisfy both her mom’s and Robert’s sweet tooth.

Marta spent the rest of her afternoon thinking about guiding Paige and Rosalia. She remembered how much effort it required to keep audition details straight in her mind. No faulting Miss Holland--Lindsay--but she hoped to make the experience for the two girls easier than hers had been. As she looked over her hand-written list, she organized her ideas as logically as possible. Each suggestion brought up memories from her personal auditions: the times she received praise for a graceful extension as well as the times dance directors barked out corrections for a sloppy turn or a late ending.