When You Were Mine [Second Chances 2] (Siren Publishing Classic) (5 page)

Taryn turned from her constant scan of the field and said, “You’ve been checking for texts every ten minutes since you sat down. What’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“My ass, nothing,” Taryn said.

Cora flushed and explained, “I’ve been talking with Jamie all day. We’re planning to get lunch at some point this week.”

“Oh really,” Taryn asked, her eyebrow raised. “I thought you were anti-men right now.”

“I’m not anti-men. I’m anti-dating. There’s a difference. And I am still anti-dating. He knows I’m not in a place to get involved with anyone. We decided to be friends.”

Taryn let out a snort and said, “I wonder how long that’ll last.”

Cora said. “Any feelings I have for him are just a hold-over from way back when. We’re both different people now. It’s been too long for us to just pick up where we left off.”

“It’s entirely possible that you’ll like the new Jamie as much as the old one,” Taryn said.

“You’re probably right,” Cora confessed. “The other night, when you passed out on me, he ended up walking me downstairs. He gave me a hug and…I had to get the hell out of there. It wasn’t
just
a hug. So he texts me to apologize for freaking me out, and somehow this turned into us getting lunch and being friends. I keep telling myself it’s a terrible idea, but then I keep binge checking my cell phone. What in the hell am I doing?”

“Making it more complicated than it needs to be. Just see how it all goes.”

Hesitating a moment, she said, “It’s just…I’m a little worried about my judgment.”

Taryn’s eyes scanned the field and as she asked, “How so?”

“I thought Bryce was the one and clearly I was really wrong about that.”

Taryn’s eyes squinted for a moment and then she let out a whoop as CJ tagged a runner out on first. Cora cheered loudly. Hearing the cheer, he looked up at the bleachers and gave them a huge gap-toothed grin.

As the children moved back toward the dugout, changing positions, Taryn picked up the thread of conversation as if they hadn’t been interrupted and said, “Honey. I’ve watched you for the last six months. Don’t get me wrong. You’ve gone through hell but if he was the one, you’d be a mess. You’re embarrassed. You’re hurt. You’re fucking mad. You’re not heartbroken though.”

Cora ignored her knee-jerk reaction to snap, and actually considered what Taryn had said. Grudgingly, she acknowledged that she was probably right. There hadn’t ever been a great sense of loss. She had never lamented about how she lost not only a lover, but a good friend as well. Any tears that she’d shed had been angry tears. There had been a lot of those. The truth stung a bit.

Cora stared blindly at field, then let out a long sigh. Clearing her throat, she said, “I really hate that you’re right about that. Maybe I was just ready to settle down.”

“Maybe,” Taryn said. “Don’t beat yourself up about it, though.”

“I’m not,” Cora automatically answered. It sounded hollow even to her own ears though.

Taryn spared her a glance and said, “Yeah right. You internalize and rationalize everything to death. Somewhere in that head of yours, I know you’re taking some of the blame.”

Cora mulled it over for a minute and realized that Taryn was both right and wrong. She didn’t blame herself for his infidelity. That was entirely on him. She did take some responsibility in not seeing him for what he was though.

Cora opened her mouth to speak and Taryn cut her off.

“He had us all snowed. I
liked
him. The fucking pig,” Taryn growled.

A little shocked by the mood swing, Cora said, “Whoa, whoa. Easy there, Tiger.”

“My hormones are crazy, Cora. I could probably kick his ass if you wanted,” Taryn answered. “I’m just putting it out there.”

The look on her face was so serious, so fierce, that Cora couldn’t help but laugh.

“No need. He did enough damage himself.”

The rest of practice was uneventful. There were no more discussions of Bryce and no more texts from Jamie. Still, Cora couldn’t help but stew about it though. She was a freaking psychiatrist. How had she not seen that Bryce was a pathological liar? Had she missed huge warning signs?

He had been so goddamned nice. When they’d met at the courthouse, she’d been doing some work for the state. He’d been with the District Attorney’s office, working on a case that she was testifying in. She had been surprised and flattered when he asked her to dinner. Dinner had turned into drinks. Looking back, she was ashamed to admit, that drinks had turned into breakfast the next morning.

They had ended up having so much in common. They had liked the same books and movies. They always had so much to talk about. They both had a desire to help people, though they had taken different paths to achieve that. He had been perfect.

When the familiar, almost violent rush of feeling that she’d felt with Jamie hadn’t appeared, she thought that maybe it wasn’t supposed to feel all-consuming. Taryn was right. It hadn’t been love. At least not the all-consuming kind.

It had been a comfortable relationship. She had enjoyed his company, cared about him, respected him. After dating for a year and a half, it had seemed like the next logical step to get engaged.

Until the whole relationship had disintegrated right in front of her very eyes. The bile rose in her throat when she thought about the pictures. He’d been fucking his campaign manager and another staffer.
The LA Chronicle
had run the pictures, and reporters had been camped out on her lawn.

The betrayal had left her reeling. Not because she’d been desperately in love with him, but because she had been disgusted and angry. How had she not seen it?

And he’d had the nerve to call her after the story broke, to try and salvage things between them. He had begged and apologized. He’d said a lot of the right things, not that they had mattered. She had told him to go to hell and then mailed the items he’d left at her place back to him. Asshole.

Cora gave a cynical snort and dipped her chopsticks back into the carton of cold lo mein.

How could she ever trust her own judgment again? She had been so terribly wrong about him.

She tried to look at it objectively, as if this were a story from a patient. What would she suggest for them?

Journaling would be the first step. Ultimately, she’d probably suggest that they find a way to forgive themselves. Rationally, she knew that she was holding on to more of the blame than she should be. When it came to emotions though, rationality barely ever came into play.

Her phone buzzed loudly next to her. When she picked up her phone and saw a text from Jamie, she couldn’t help but smile. He was suggesting lunch at one of the Chinese places they used to love to go when they were together.

She looked down at the carton of lo mein in her hand and smirked.

“Old habits die hard. I’ve got a carton of lo mein from Golden Palace sitting next to me,” she typed.

“Is it still hot or second day?” he immediately responded.

She laughed and answered, “Second day is always better.”

“Did you even heat it up?”

“Of course not,” she typed, smirking.

He immediately responded back, “Not to brag but Taryn made me a casserole. It had ham, cheddar, garlic, potatoes, and bread crumbs.”

Cora whimpered slightly and typed, “That’s my favorite. I should see if I can weasel one out of her. I tried to use her recipe and it wasn’t the same.”

“I would have happily share mine…if I hadn’t eaten it all. For the record, it was insanely good,” Jamie said.

“Thanks. Jerk. Rub it in,” she responded back. A moment later, she added, “Did I mention I had an order of their pot stickers, too? I warmed those up.”

Cora smirked as she popped one into her mouth. When the phone rang a moment later, she gave a slight jump. After she had finished the bite of food in her mouth, she answered, “Hello?”

“You’re a cold woman, Cora,” Jamie responded by way of greeting.

She laughed as she put the plastic lid over the remaining dumplings then leaned back against the cushions and said, “You started it.”

She could hear the grin in his voice when he agreed, “Yeah. I suppose I did.”

“So,” she asked. “How did the search for office furniture go?”

“Pretty well. I think I found what I was looking for. What I get is really going to depend on the space though. I found a great desk though.”

They had continued to talk for another two hours before Cora’s cell phone battery had started going dead. The last time she talked on the phone like that was when they had been together all those years ago.

She was noticing little differences in Jamie. He was a little more together now. When they had dated before he seemed at loose ends about his career, but seeing him like this, so driven, was a big change. Deep down, where it counted, it seemed that the important things hadn’t changed.

He was still the same smart, funny, and kind person that he’d always been. Bluntly honest, but never cruelly so. Sharply witty. It was an attractive combination. A combination that had always been hard to resist.

After this upcoming lunch, she had to find some sort of way to ease back. There was no way that she could sustain any sort of friendship with him. She was still attracted to him.

When it came to Jamie, she’d always been like a moth to a flame. It seemed that the years and distance between them hadn’t changed much of anything for her. There was no way that she was ready to pursue anything, but even the entire time that they’d been talking on the phone, she’d wanted nothing more than to curl up against him.

She needed to pull back from this friendship before it began. She was going to end up hurting them both.

As Jamie pulled into the parking lot of the small office complex, he nodded slowly. This was the third property that Patty had taken him to see today. On paper, it had been the most promising of the five that they were scheduled to look at. The first one had been too small, the second one had been at the top end of his budget, but didn’t have a security guard, or a kitchenette.

The parking lot was clean, and there were plenty of open spots. That alone was a rare thing in Los Angeles. He hoped that the inside would live up to his expectations. The pictures had boasted a large room that would be great for a conference room, a slightly smaller office, some storage, a small bathroom and a kitchenette. Other than the hideous mint green paint, it had been damn near perfect.

Taking out his cell phone, he leaned casually against the side of his car and checked for text messages. When he saw that one waited from Cora, he couldn’t help but smile.

Last night they’d stayed on the phone for hours. She had always been really easy to talk to. He was glad that she was back in his life, even if it wasn’t in the exact way that he wanted. Whatever happened, he knew that he would have to let her take the lead.

When he opened his text messages he saw her question, “How’s the office search going? Good, I hope.”

He tried valiantly to wipe the smile off his face as his real estate agent and sister-in-law pulled up next to him in the parking lot, he quickly typed, “At the most promising of the five now. I’ll let you know how it goes.”

Patty got out of her car, eyed his cell phone and asked, “Need a minute?”

Jamie shoved the phone back into his pocket and said, “Nah. I’m ready.”

The knowing smile that she gave him, made him slightly uneasy, but he shrugged it off. Instead he tossed his jacket into the car, locked it, and followed her up to the entrance.

He stopped for a moment to scan the names. It looked like mostly accounting firms, and a couple of dentists on the first floor. Before he had a chance to look any further, he heard the elevator ding.

He followed Patty into the elevator as she went over the amenities of the complex. They had dry cleaning that came around to all of the offices, which was a nice bonus. Twenty-four hour security. Ample parking. Each office space had its own bathroom, which was nice.

When she unlocked the door, she said, “The paint was a little sketchy and the landlord is replacing the carpet with hardwood flooring next week. If you wanted to paint, you’d be better off doing it quick here.”

Jamie’s nose was assaulted with the scent of nag champa incense and pot. He wrinkled his nose and said, “It smells like my college dorm room in here, Patty. Christ. What were they doing in this unit?”

Patty cackled and said, “Medicinal marijuana. The owner of the building thought it was only a doctor’s office. He kicked them out when he realized they were getting high in here all day.”

Jamie looked at the huge stain on the carpet and said, “Gross. I’m assuming that’s why he’s replacing the carpet. Someone spilled their bong?”

He heard Patty’s laughter ring out from the office and followed her in. The scent aside, he could picture his desk in this room. It was large enough for a couch, a few chairs, and a desk. Some bookshelves to line the wall. It was perfect.

As he continued through the office, he was more convinced that this was the place. Tearing out the rug and painting should get rid of the stale pot smell. The rest was just cosmetic. A new coat of paint in some sort of neutral tone, the dark cherrywood furniture he was looking at yesterday…and this place would be perfect.