Midge Foster walked over to her table. “Morning, Charity. Haven’t seen you here before.”
“This is my first time.” She lifted her cup a little higher. “They make great coffee. I should have come sooner.”
“We’ll see you at the reunion, won’t we?”
“Yes, I’ll be there.”
Midge glanced at her wristwatch. “Oh, heavens. I’ve got to run. My first appointment is in ten minutes.” She fluttered her fingers in farewell and walked away at a brisk pace.
Charity took a few sips of her latte. Then Mayor Abbott came to say hello. He asked about her parents, said he was looking forward to her next book, then hurried off in the direction of his office. She smiled as she watched him go. Ollie Abbott would make a colorful character in a book. One of those secondary characters who tried to steal the show from the protagonists.
“Charity?”
She glanced toward the voice. It belonged to Ashley Holloway.
“Mind if I join you? It’s the only available chair outside.”
“Be my guest.”
Ashley sat down, then swept her free-flowing hair over her shoulder. Unlike Charity, she had never tried to hide
herself away. Ashley exuded self-confidence and accepted her popularity as her due. She looked around at the other tables, waved and smiled at people she knew, then finally returned her eyes to Charity.
“I can’t believe how much work this reunion has been,” she said. “This morning my husband asked me if we needed to buy a second home here.” She laughed, the sound light and airy.
Charity smiled. “It’ll be over soon. Only another week.”
“You know the best part, Charity? Talking to everybody, especially those who don’t live here anymore. Did you know one of our old classmates is on a long-term mission in Africa? Something to do with doctors or surgeons or something.”
Charity shook her head.
“And yesterday you’ll never guess who I managed to track down?”
She responded as she was expected to. “Who?”
“Jon Riverton. And I may have convinced him to come to the reunion. At least he said he’d think about it. Can you believe it?”
Ashley kept talking, but Charity had stopped listening, her smile frozen in place. Her pulse raced. Her mind buzzed. Her lungs were sucked dry of oxygen. She hadn’t expected this reaction. Not again. Not after she’d told her secret to Terri. Not after she’d been working so hard to understand her emotions, to discover why she’d allowed one night to shape her whole life. She’d thought she was making progress.
She stood. “Ashley, I’m sorry. I remembered something I must do, and I’m late. Please forgive me.”
Cut off in mid-sentence, Ashley looked at her with a
surprised expression, but Charity didn’t wait to hear a reply. She spun away from the table and hurried toward the parking lot across the street.
B
UCK HELD UP A LEVEL TO THE FOUR-BY-FOUR POST
that stood in a hole Ken had dug for it. “Where’d you say Sara got the plans for this swing set?”
“On Pinterest, I think. Or maybe it was on one of those home-improvement shows she likes to watch.”
“Did she choose the color?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Pilots will be able to pick out your house from thirty thousand feet. It’s like a beacon.”
The brothers laughed.
Sara’s voice intruded. “If you’re making fun of the fluorescent-orange paint, you’re not going to like what I fix you for lunch.”
Buck and Ken stopped laughing at once, then turned sheepish looks in Sara’s direction. But she couldn’t hold back her own laughter, and soon the men lost control again.
“I don’t care what you say,” Sara said when she caught her breath. “I
like
the color, and the kids are going to love it.” She held out two large plastic glasses of ice water. “Here. Drink this before you expire from dehydration.”
It seemed as good an excuse as any to sit on the grass in the shade of the tree. So that’s what Buck did. Ken and Sara joined him there.
Sara tipped her head back and gazed at the sky. “Buck, did I hear that you’re taking dance lessons from Sky Foster?”
Buck hadn’t tried to keep that bit of news a secret, but he hadn’t planned to broadcast it either. “Don’t know what you heard.”
“Ha!” She looked at him. “So it’s true?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, it’s true.”
“Do you have a date you’re taking to the reunion, by any chance?”
“No.”
“Mmm.” Sara gave him a searching look. “I thought maybe you would have asked someone by now.”
It was his turn to look at the sky. “To be honest, I’ve wanted to. I just . . . I haven’t found the right opportunity.” He glanced back at Sara.
She grinned. “How hard can it be? She’s staying next door to you.”
“How’d you guess it was Charity I wanted to ask?”
“Woman’s intuition.”
“Hmm.”
Ken placed a hand on Buck’s shoulder, his expression sympathetic. “It’s true, bro. Woman’s intuition trumps anything else you can think of. Just accept it and move on.”
“Buck.”
He looked at his sister-in-law again.
“Stop waiting for the right opportunity.
Make
the opportunity.”
Ken cleared his throat. “Maybe I’m a little slow on the uptake today, but since when have you had trouble asking a gal out? That’s been second nature to you since you were a teenager. When you’ve wanted female companionship, you’ve had it.”
“It’s different this time,” Buck answered, gaze dropping to the glass in his hand.
There was a lengthy silence before Ken said, “Well, I’ll be. You’re in love.”
“Yeah.” He drew a deep breath and released it. “I sure am.”
“Then I guess you’d better do something about it.”
“Like what?”
“Like make her fall in love with you too.”
C
HARITY PULLED THE SUITCASES FROM UNDER THE
bed. She opened the first and began tossing items of clothing into it from the dresser. It didn’t matter if the clothes got wrinkled. And what couldn’t go into the suitcases because of careless packing she could shove into a pillowcase or garbage bag.
“You’ll be glad to be home,” she said to Cocoa. “Won’t you? You don’t care about the workmen and the noise. We’ll both be happier once we’re back where we belong.”
Hollow words that went nowhere.
“Hey, Charity. Are you up there?”
Her heart beat ever faster as she moved toward the bedroom window. She poked her head through the opening and looked down at Buck. “I’m here.”
“I’ve been knocking on your door.”
“I . . . I’m real busy. I didn’t hear.”
He gave her one of those slow, warm-honey smiles. “Can I interrupt you? I’d like to talk.”
I
don’t want to talk. I want to run away
.
“Please.”
She drew a deep breath. “All right. Wait there. I’ll get Cocoa and bring her down. She’ll enjoy being outside.” Drawing back into the bedroom, she took several long, deep breaths, then looked toward the dog’s bed. “Ready to go outside?”
Cocoa didn’t jump up and run to the front door as she used to at that question, but she could manage the stairs now. Slow and awkward, but she could do it. However, Charity was in a hurry this time, so she lifted Cocoa in her arms and carried her down the stairs and out to the backyard, where she set her in the grass. Another deep breath and she turned to face Buck.
“Shall we sit in the shade?” She motioned toward the chairs on the covered patio.
“Sure.” As he sat, Buck removed his hat. Then he held it between his knees and slowly circled the brim with his fingers.
Was he nervous? That was unlike him.
“I enjoyed being with you in Boise yesterday,” he said after a lengthy silence.
She nodded, not sure what to say. Upstairs was a half-packed suitcase. Should she tell him that?
“It’s crazy. I’ve been trying to figure out what I wanted to say to you ever since last night. I was going to try to see you this morning, but your car was gone. So I had even more time to think about it, and I still don’t know what to say. I’m probably going to stumble around a bit.”
Concern welled in her chest. “What is it, Buck?”
He released a humorless laugh and lowered his gaze to the hat in his hands. “I didn’t expect to be this tongue-tied.”
“It can’t be that bad.”
“It isn’t bad. It’s good. At least, I think it’s good.” He looked up. “I’m falling in love with you, Charity.”
She sucked in air. Those were the last words she’d expected to hear.
“No, that isn’t right. I love you already.”
“You don’t know me, Buck.”
Yes, he does. He sees you
.
“Look, I know you’ve got a life in Boise, and I’ve got one here. I know we don’t like all of the same things. It’s probably best that we don’t. Right? But I’ve got to believe we can work through all of the important differences. I want a chance to try anyway.”
If you knew everything, would you still think you could love me?
“I’d like us to go to the reunion together, Charity. You and me. So everybody knows we’re
together
.”
Terri was wrong. She wasn’t courageous. Not in the least. Buck was offering her a chance at everything she’d hoped for, everything she’d longed for, but she realized now that she hadn’t the courage to accept.
“I can’t go with you, Buck. I’m going home.”
He straightened in his chair, his expression wary. “You mean, to Boise?”
She nodded.
“But why now? Your house isn’t finished. Your book isn’t finished. Your parents aren’t back yet. Why go now?”
“It doesn’t matter why.” She stood. “I’ve decided it’s for the best. I’m going. Today.”
He rose, staring at her hard. “Does this have anything to do with what upset you that day we were at the hospital?”
It was as if she’d turned to stone on the inside. Turned into cold, hard marble. “My reasons are none of your business,” she said, her voice flat.
“I
want
them to be my business. I want to take care of
you, Charity. I want to protect you and hold you when you hurt. I want—”
“Go home, Buck.”
Before he could come up with another reply, she spun away from him and went inside, closing the door with finality.
She refused to acknowledge the way her heart felt as if it were cracking apart inside.
W
AS THAT IT, THEN
? H
AD HE BEEN COMPLETELY
mistaken about her feelings? That even if she didn’t love him now, she’d be willing to see if she could learn to? That she’d at least be willing to give it a try?
Buck stared at the closed door for a long while. Then his gaze went to the dog, lying peacefully in the shade, not seeming to mind that her mistress had run away.
He tried to summon up anger. Hadn’t he known better than to let himself care about anybody this much? It was safer to just look out for himself, safer to go no further than friendship. He could stay a bachelor for the rest of his life and be content with it. After all, he’d been content up to now.
Liar
.
Maybe last year he’d believed that. Maybe last spring he’d believed it. Maybe even a few weeks ago he’d believed it. He didn’t believe it any longer. Love had made that impossible. Loving Charity.
“I’m not giving up yet,” he said softly. “Not yet.”
C
HARITY STARED OUT THE WINDOWS IN HER OFFICE
. There was silence in the house this morning. It was Saturday. No workmen had come to pound or drill today, but still her head ached. As if those carpenters with their hammers had moved from the downstairs to inside her head.
Her mobile phone vibrated on her desk. She ignored it, as she’d done ever since arriving home. It was probably Buck. She’d seen his name on the caller ID several times. Finally, she’d stopped looking to see who called. She couldn’t bear even that.
I wish I’d never gone up there. I should have known better. I should have known it was a mistake
.
She’d wanted to find love. She’d hoped for marriage. That had been a mistake too. Obviously.
The silence of the house mocked her.
She sank down to the floor and turned, leaning her back against the windowpane. The glass was warm from the sun,
but Charity still felt cold. Nothing she’d tried had taken the chill from her bones, from the icy tentacles that had wrapped around her heart two days earlier. She wanted to cry. She wanted to wail. But no tears would come. She was empty. Empty of everything.
“Charity.”
Had she begun to hear voices now? That sounded like Terri.
“Charity, are you up there?”
She scrambled to her feet and was standing by the time her sister appeared at the top of the stairs.
The expression on Terri’s face seemed a combination of confusion and pity. “What are you doing here, sis?”
“I came home.”
“To what?” Her sister motioned with her hand, taking in the large room. “This? A place where you can hide?”
Charity shook her head. “Who told you I left Kings Meadow?”
“We came for the reunion. Remember? You were supposed to be at the potluck last night. I tried to call you, but you never answered your phone.”
“I’m sorry.” She turned toward the bank of windows again. “I didn’t want to talk to Buck. He . . . He’s called several times.”
Terri came to stand between her and the window, blocking her view. “He told me what he said to you.”
“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He doesn’t know me. He doesn’t know.”
“Buck isn’t stupid. He knows his own heart. He loves you.”
Charity shook her head again. “No. He doesn’t. He can’t.” Her voice fell to a whisper. “I don’t deserve his love, Terri.”
Her sister took a step back. “Is that what this is about?” Anger entered her voice. “Are you trying to throw away happiness with both hands just because you made a bad choice when you were still a kid?”
“You don’t understand.” Charity’s voice rose to meet her sister’s, and suddenly she couldn’t keep her feelings inside anymore. “You can’t understand. Hate killed my baby. My hate.
My
hate.” She gasped for breath. “Why would God ever want me to be happy again after I did that?”
Terri released a soft gasp and tears filled her eyes. “Oh, Charity,” she whispered. “Oh, sis. Is that what you truly believe?”